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Thread: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

  1. #1
    Ritter-Floh's Avatar Artifex
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    Default [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Karthadastim Samraatya








    Overview:
    History of the Indo-Carthaginian Empire:

    We all know the story of Aeneas and Queen Dido of Carthage: the Trojan who rejected the queen to take his people to Italy, people who would one day found the great city of Rome. But the story does not end there. Virgil's account is incorrect, owing to the cover-ups found in earlier works, especially Livy.

    New evidence sheds light on a forgotten part of history: the great Indo-Carthaginian Empire. You see, Roman historians had managed to cover up the truth, rewrite what happened to hide their own shame.

    What really happened: After Aeneas left Carthage, Dido vowed to make him and his Trojan exiles super-jealous, so she took in the next group of travelers without question. It just so happened that the next group was composed of traders from distant India who had sailed around the Horn of Africa, braving the dangers of travel across areas that aren't even on the map! You see, the land route was far too dangerous owing to all the AI bonuses of each faction in the way and Rome 2's lack of a horde system for migratory factions. They could never survive the attrition that way, so decided to risk the unknown, traveling through places no one was sure even existed. During their migration, they even stumbled upon a Lemur-filled island they decided to call “America,” after the well-known ancient epic poem, “American Pie.” So indeed it was the Mauryans who first discovered America, almost 1500 years before the Vikings.

    The Indians quickly assimilated into Carthaginian society, and Aeneas quickly became super jelly. While he never returned to Carthage, the Romans who followed vowed to take revenge on Carthage for making them so jelly. They vowed to conquer the known world, so that Romans would never be jelly again.

    This led to the Two (yes, just two!) Punic Wars, which the Indo-Carthaginian Empire easily won. The Romans could fight African Forest Elephants, but the addition of the larger Indian Elephants was just too much. While the Romans barely coped with Pyrrhus’ Indian Elephants, the Indo-Carthaginians used combined arms (tusks?) forces, with the smaller African Forest Elephants providing flanking support. It was too much for the Romans.

    Hannibal and his cannibals sealed the deal in the second Punic War, and Romans were rightly terrified. His elephants and elite Indomitable Gauls with their magic potion were… indomitable. He defeated the Romans at Trasimene, Cannae, and even Zama! Zama did actually happen, disproving Lindybeige’s theory, but the Romans did lie about the result. Scipio was not called Africanus because of his victory, but because he was exiled to Africa after his defeat.

    Livy related a meeting long after the battle between Scipio and Hannibal, but he again covered up the truth. While it was a meeting at the Seleucid court, it was the victorious Hannibal talking to the exiled Scipio. Scipio, interested to learn the strategies of the great general, asked Hannibal who he thought were the greatest generals in history. Hannibal answered, “Genghis Khan, Napoleon Bonaparte, and myself.” Scipio said, “who?” Hannibal simply stated, “oh, I guess you haven't heard of them. They're not mainstream yet. You'll see. I liked them before it was cool, but in the future they'll be too mainstream.” Indeed, Hannibal was the first hipster, starting a divisive tradition that stays with us to this day.

    But the Romans could never let that stand. Using his newfound knowledge, Scipio googled those generals and studied their tactics. He returned in triumph to Rome and began training the troops in the new strategies. Hannibal realized his mistake, but too late. The Romans were already upon them, and the Indo-Carthaginians were almost surrounded. They had one option: to do as their ancestors had and travel… outside the edge of the map. And travel they did, back to India, where they still lie in wait until they can reconquer their land.

    However, in the meantime, the Romans kept their vow, conquering all around with their strategic knowledge (even though it was derivative of Hannibal’s earlier work), even the Indomitable Gauls (except for one small village)! Then they set about to erase the Indo-Carthaginians from history, carefully rewriting events to make the Romans seem original when really they were just plagiarists who were super jelly. But the Romans made sure that they were never jelly again.




    This faction overhaul will be released with 1.2.3,95²

    Units
    This faction overhaul adds 8 new units to the brand bew Indo-Carthaginian Empire. Here are some pictures of the new units:

    Melee Infantry
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Indomitable Gauls: The Indo-Carthaginians make heavy use of Gallic mercenaries, ferocious warriors who go into battle with only their fists and the magic potion prepared for them by their secretive druids, who hold their yearly conference in the Forest of the Carnutes. These Gallic warriors are unstoppable, and all they ask in return is freshly roasted wild boar on a spit.


    Indian Outsourced Hoplites: Carthaginian citizens only fight in the morning, so they have delegated Indians to take their place whenever a battle goes on into the afternoon. This new tactic, only made available with the arrival of the Mauryans, allowed the Indo-Carthaginians to defeat the Romans in battles previously thought unwinnable, since the Carthaginians had to retreat at midday.


    Hannibal's Cannibals: These man-eaters (literally! And I don't mean that figuratively!) are known to be able to swallow a man whole (are we still doing phrasing?)! They are personally trained in combat by Hannibal himself because his name sounds like "cannibal," but he thinks the whole idea is a waste of time, explaining that the word comes from some stupid misinformed idea Columbus had about native Caribbeans. The Indian troops under his command agree, knowing there are only lemurs in this "America" that Columbus would sail to, but the top brass insists that Hannibal trains the cannibals.


    Indo-Carthaginian Heavy Luddites: "What's this newfangled iron age technology? Bronze was good enough for our forefathers (and foremothers), and it's good enough for us! Clay tablets are still a better, more permanent writing system than papyrus!" That's what this strange sect of Indo-Carthaginian society believes, and they arm their warriors in only the best bronze arms and armour, and swear off the use of any technology invented after 1000 BCE. Ironically, this is a reform unit.


    Barca's Borkers: Whoa there fren, you are doin me a frighten! These doggos of war are much ravenous, so terrifying, and such adorable. Their borks are enough to send all cats fleeing, along with most levy units, and they are good boys, very good boys. They protec, they attac, but most importantly they are absolutely loyal to their Indo-Carthaginian hoomins.


    Indo-Carthago-Helleno-Gallo-Romanized Thureo-Thorax Legionaries: The ancient world is a melting pot of different cultures, and the Indo-Carthaginian Empire is a great example. However, their advanced strategists realized that everyone copied the Romans. Why do that, they thought, when you could copy everyone? Unfortunately, everyone else had copied the Romans already, so these troops are just very confused legionaries.


    Indo-Carthaginian Micro-Transactors. This tiny unit of merchants and trade caravans, far ahead of their time in business savvy, packs a powerful punch! Just activate their ability in battle for a small fee of $1.99 per activation to unlock a random stat boost or armor color! It's a veritable lootbox of value! To feel that sense of pride and accomplishment, just hit the lever! All proceeds go to the DeI team's beer and pretzels fund.

    Combined Tusks Elephant Regiment: The "combined tusks" elephant regiments are the ultimate symbol of the Indo-Carthaginian military. Composed of both Indian and African war elephants, this unit is all but invincible on the battlefield, with the different types of elephants shoring up each other's weaknesses. The Indo-Carthaginians would use these elephants to crush the Romans time and again on many battlefields and even at sea! Elephant-carrying octaremes are no joke!



    Credits:

    -Augustusng: historical text and unit descriptions
    -Ritter-Floh: units and unit names

  2. #2
    Vardan the Great's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Great job!
    "An unexpected death is a death, an intended death - immortality"
    (c) Vardan Sparapet, before the Battle of Avarayr

  3. #3

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Truly amazing. Astounding historical work from you all, as ever. Though I'm curious - where are the famous Indo-Carthaginian War Rocs? I can't believe you'd leave out such an important part of their history!

  4. #4

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians


  5. #5

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Those purplish tusks look kinda suspicious, texture problem?

  6. #6
    GourmetGorilla's Avatar Semisalis
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    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Also forgot the long-lost secret of the "elephant" octaremes. Mistranslation got the better of you it seems, those were elephant seals!

  7. #7

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Amazing.

  8. #8

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    wat

  9. #9
    Morticia Iunia Bruti's Avatar Praeses
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    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    April, April.
    Cause tomorrow is a brand-new day
    And tomorrow you'll be on your way
    Don't give a damn about what other people say
    Because tomorrow is a brand-new day


  10. #10

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Thats a penis

  11. #11

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Hehe, How did i not remember the popular "cock and balls" migration route, it was on every History schoolroom blackboard (funnily enough always in the top corner)

  12. #12

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Best TW post EVER!

  13. #13

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Historical accuracy is on point as usual boys.

  14. #14

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    You left out the flaming elephants they used to chase away the roman war pigs.

  15. #15

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    I got scared for a second, then I remembered what day it is
    Good one

  16. #16

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    Quote Originally Posted by KYREAPER View Post
    Thats a penis
    For some reason this particular post just made me bust out laughing.

  17. #17

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    This explains that statue of Tanit they found in canada on the History channel! My mom called me and asked about it, its on searching for the knights templar relics or something equally...uh...historical.

  18. #18

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    It's our masterwork, our most historically accurate overhaul to date.

    I was only a little drunk while writing it.

  19. #19
    Legionary Jezza's Avatar Praefectus
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    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    im 1-/01 drunk and loving it lol

  20. #20

    Default Re: [Preview] Indo-Carthaginians

    It isn't midnight here yet so when I checked the preview I went "Why does that map route look like a penis? Is that intentional...?"

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