The Game of One-Upmanship

[Commissar Caligula_]

Rules

The rules are very simple.
The first player writes something that they did.
The second player reads this, and then replies with something they did which is even more amazing.
The third player reads this, and then replies with something they did which is even MORE amazing. On and on and on...

The basic rules also apply
- Be nice to each other (however good-natured teasing of how "pathetic" the previous person's accomplishments are is allowed, and is a part of the game)
- No double posting
- No trolling

So here's an example

I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro yesterday

Oh yeah? Well I climbed Mount Everest and made it back in time for tea and crumpets

Whilst you were eating your tea and crumpets I was busy fighting the dinosaur invasion from Mars

Lols what a noob, whilst you were fighting those puny dinosaurs I invaded Mars and conquered all of the dinosaurs' cities

So lets start it off with...
Yesterday I fought a lion in hand to hand combat.

[♔atthias♔]

I fought an whole group of lions and killed them in 5 minutes

[isa0005]

Pah! A single group of lions tis but a trifle good sir! Why just yesterday I undertook the postivley Herculean feat of strangling two whole prides of lions, with one hand behind my back in two minutes flat!

[Frunk]

Feeble child! Just last week, I hypnotised an entire three prides of lions and had them do mine bidding! They killed double their own number of lions, and thereafter built me a spacious villa in which to live.

[Aexodus]

I fought all the Lions in Africa, as well as all the Jaguars in South America and Tigers in India while being home in time for tea ☕️

[isa0005]

Feeble child! Just last week, I hypnotised an entire three prides of lions and had them do mine bidding! They killed double their own number of lions, and thereafter built me a spacious villa in which to live.

Well damn you got me there... I can’t beat that... **commits seppuku**

[Frunk]

Death by seppuku? Amateur! I performed my own crucifixion!

[King Athelstan]

Crucifixion? Pah, I fought a score of dinosaurs off for a week before succumbing to my wounds!

[Aexodus]

Dinosaurs are over-rated, I survived an encounter with the xenomorph before enslaving its entire planet.

[Commissar Caligula_]

Xenomorph planets? A mere trifle compared to the time I subjugated the entire Galactic Empire!

[♔atthias♔]

Xenomorph planets? A mere trifle compared to the time I subjugated the entire Galactic Empire!

nothing compared to the fact I swallowed the sun in one go without burning or hurting myself in anyway

[Aexodus]

nothing compared to the fact I swallowed the sun in one go without burning or hurting myself in anyway

Fiddlesticks, I consumed the Sun, moon and the stars without even mild indigestion

[Owlparrot3]

Well i ate you .

[Frunk]

I ate ten orcs, and I ain't even mad!

[paleologos]

You guys are all so full of it.
I'm it.

[Frunk]

Pssh, I am far more "it" than you. I'm so "it" that hipsters want to cut their hair like mine.

[Aexodus]

Pfft, everyone knows the fashion these days is goin bald

[Owlparrot3]

Huh ,you oldies still have heads?
The new fashion is

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Darkan]

What's the point of a head (severed or otherwise) if there's no beard. Beard, man, it's all about the beard!

[Adamat]

Hah, you only got a beard? I am entirely covered in hair, even my hair has hair