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Thread: [ATW AAR] Geats / The Journey

  1. #1
    Archimonday's Avatar Senator
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    Default [ATW AAR] Geats / The Journey

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    The Lyric of A Lost King

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    This is the song of Gad,
    The king of all the Geats.
    The tale of a man, a triad,
    The hymn of all his feats.


    His heart was all sorrow,
    His mind broken with grief.
    His kin loathed him on each morrow,
    His thoughts were their thief.

    He went to the waters,
    Here found a place to rest.
    He called out for the All Father,
    He'd called his last request.

    All mountains towered over,
    And clouds were about them.
    Aged were his hands, once abler,
    And those he did condemn.

    From beneath his cloak,
    Freed he a sharp dagger.
    Filigree told tales of his folk,
    Feigned was its altar.

    "What good have I finished,"
    "Where have I lost my kin?"
    "Whither are my people anguished,"
    "Why do they call me sin?"

    His life was sacrifice,
    Hope had no place with him.
    Holding the blade, death was his price,
    How quick he had fallen in whim.

    A wind then disarmed him,
    All hills began to shake.
    Angry clouds flew all about him,
    And rain told his mistake.

    The sea rose up to him,
    The wind whistled a voice.
    This torrent he could not outswim,
    Thrown was he, no more choice.

    Behold a chariot,
    Brandished by golden light.
    Black rams pulled its God pilot,
    Behold the storm was plight.

    Giant was the tutor,
    Great was his long escort.
    Gilded was Gads approacher,
    Godly and man his court.

    For behold there was Thor,
    Father of the lightning.
    Found he the King, he did abhor,
    Fore he spoke to a King,

    "Who are you great monarch,"
    "What deeds have you done?"
    "Where is your shield, your kin, your ark,"
    "Why dust thou sit with none?"

    "I am king of Midgard,"
    "In all its humble taste."
    "It now resembles a graveyard,"
    "Its people are all waste."

    "My voice you be and yet,"
    "Man has forsaken you."
    "My voice is the one you forget,"
    "Make an excuse you do."

    The King took up his sword,
    The weapon of his hand.
    Then Thor cast him back with a ward,
    There he was far less grand.

    "You draw against a God,"
    "Yet power you have not."
    "You are only a foolish fraud,"
    "You lay now on your plot."

    "Look east and you will see,"
    "Lament in your city."
    "Lo', it is consumed with fury,"
    "Languish in fire, no pity."





    The Two Dragons


    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Gad had always run fast;
    But this was a race he could not win.
    The torment of his heart had crushed him.

    In front of him was his city.

    Its walls were consumed by fire.
    Gad had felt grief in his life;
    But none of it compared.
    He could not help from kneeling.
    Gad fell into tears on the ground.

    The tears formed into a sea.
    They turned into a torrent that had no breaks in its assail.
    As Gad began to drown a ship appeared!
    A ship covered by clouds that was sounding a bell.
    On its top deck he heard a voice calling:

    "Rise up King, only you can save your people.
    You may have fallen with tears;
    But today is your resurgence.
    You shall be as strong as stone;
    And you will not fear this Dragon.
    He may be malevolence;
    But not a road to countenance."


    A wave appeared at the bow of the ship that roared like a horn;
    And It fell from the sky also like rain.
    Within its waves Gad saw a herd of bulls;
    And they trampled the Dragon with all his flames.

    The sun then rose out of the west to greet Gad.

    On the ground, flowers began to grow;
    And they grew outward from where Gad stood.
    He held one in his hand;
    And there it turned to ash.

    When he looked again the Dragon still lived;
    And His flames still lit.
    Gad rose to draw his sword;
    And became furious.
    His voice called for justice, his family for his love;
    And Gad became a Dragon too.
    He was like the sea;
    And from his mouth poured water.

    The two met in the sky.
    One as blue as sapphire;
    And the other flaxen like the sun.
    They battled for a fortnight.

    On the morning of the forth day the two fell to the earth.
    It trembled beneath their struggle.
    A light blinded all from where they had fallen;
    And the winds died down.

    Gads people heard silence thereafter;
    And emerged from hiding in fear.
    All around them was ash.
    They called out to their King,
    “My Lord where are you?” They called.

    Gad then rose up out of a pile of ash, a man once more.
    His crown was now golden;
    And his armor was finely Polished.
    “Here I am,” He whispered.
    “Come and see what I see.”

    Last edited by Archimonday; August 17, 2017 at 01:56 PM.

  2. #2
    Caillagh de Bodemloze's Avatar to rede I me delyte
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    Default Re: [ATW AAR] Geats / The Journey

    Hi, Archimonday!

    It's nice to see a new Attila AAR, and this looks as if it's going to be a good one.

    That's a beautiful image at the top.

    The rhythm of the writing reminds me a bit of Beowulf - and of course it's about the Geats - so I'm fascinated to see where this ends up. Particularly as poor Gad seems to be starting off with absolutely nothing, which is hardly a situation a King wants to be in! I wonder if Gad will ever be able to win the gods' favour and restore his (and his people's) fortunes.


    Edited to add: my comments refer to the original version. I like the new version, but it doesn't really remind me of Beowulf!
    Last edited by Caillagh de Bodemloze; August 12, 2017 at 09:36 AM. Reason: Clarification after author's edit of OP






  3. #3
    Archimonday's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: [ATW AAR] Geats / The Journey

    Decided to do this more poem like. The first section has been edited, will do the other tomorrow.

  4. #4
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: [ATW AAR] Geats / The Journey

    Your image is intriguing and I am enjoying the poetic style of your AAR, with its use of Norse mythology, the ruin of a city and the disappearance of a ship. Will this be the story of a leader whose people escaped the ruin of their city and followed Gad to find a new home?

  5. #5

    Default Re: [ATW AAR] Geats / The Journey

    I enjoy the poetic style and the inclusion of Norse Mythology. I will be patiently waiting for the next chapter to "see what (Gad) sees" and see where his story will lead him.

  6. #6

    Default Re: [ATW AAR] Geats / The Journey

    Interesting style, both the image and the writing. The poetic style fits the Nodic theme really good. Definitely looking forward to reading more of this!

  7. #7
    The Wandering Storyteller's Avatar Protector Domesticus
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    Default Re: [ATW AAR] Geats / The Journey

    Excellent stuff! How did you get your image to look so cold?





















































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