Phew. This was a long one. I hope y'all liked it. Yes, all 5 of you
I think you can see why I held back here, and had it simmer for a while. First of all: Even though I had split this part in two, this second half is still much longer than I wanted to. However, I did not see any way to shorten this or any other point where I could make a cut - Once Aistulf arrives, the conversation has to flow.
I tried to go through a lot of moods here, it is dialogue heavy, which I haven't done before (especially not in English) and hope I got the paragraphs/etc. right for once.
Another problem is once again the exposition bomb. I tried to limit it, but nevertheless expect this one to have been the worst one of them all. On the upside: Less exposition will be needed from now on.
So it was a challenge, and hope to learn a lot of your feedback.
There was a lot of politics and intrigue here, even for my standards maybe a tad too much. I tried to keep it to a minimum. It's basically the fallout of what originally was planned as a chapter 2, but omitted for the obvious reasons. Should I still want to make that story, I'd put it in the creative writings section as a spin-off, so Kilo wouldn't be so lonely anymore.
Most of the intrigue here serves one rather simple purpose: To align the real history to the ingame situation at the start of the game. I decide to give you a "quick" rundown of the historical circumstances if you're interested.
IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO KNOW, SO DON'T READ IT UNLESS YOU WANT TO!
Historical background | - The Italian cities were the first in Europe to free themselves from feudal overlords... Sorta. All of them followed the same scheme. First the counts lost them to the various bishops of those cities. Then they'd become proper selfgoverning "communes" ruled by the local elite. Albert Azzo I., the father of our current margrave, saw that happen to several of his cities: Genoa, Tortona, Luni, Bobbio, and, not least but definitely quite late: Milan. The richest and most powerful city of them all.
- As all the others, Milan started out to be ruled by its archbishop. His archbishopric is called the Ambrosian see. They were very powerful and didn't like to be commanded by the pope.
One of them was strong enough to wage war against the entire empire AND the pope at the same time and still could not be defeated.
The pope wanted to command it, and the emperor wanted to command it as well. The emperor was the one to usually choose the new bishop whenever the old one had died. In 1076 this didn't go so well, and that led to the walk of Canossa, where Henry was famously humiliated by the pope.
- Milan was home to an endless stream of conflicts, both beyond and within the walls. One of them saw a lower noble, by the name of Lanzone della Corte, lead the common people in revolt against the nobility, who then had to flee, but besieged it for years. He eventually asked emperor Henry III. to intervene, who presented him with a choice:
Handle this on your own, or swear an oath of allegiance and accept a garrison of 4000 German soldiers.
Lanzone chose the former, and made peace with the nobles by letting them back in, provided they accepted the equality of rights and the active participation of all citizens in the government.
A people's republic, so to speak.
And though they accepted his conditions, you'll probably not be surprised that he had to flee with his family shortly after.
- Another conflict was between the so called pataria, who wanted a pure, non-corrupt church, and the established clergy, who saw their titles merely as a source of power and had wives and kids. I'll spare you the details. One could boil it down to again being merely a fight between the common people and the rich.
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Basically, the main take-away is this: Milan was very powerful, in turmoil, and this is my best shot at combining real history and the ingame situation into something that makes sense. Albert and his sons are playing dangerous games, a vengeful descendant of a famous revolutionary has returned to rule the criminal underworld, and is threatening to expel the nobles once again and make them pay for their crimes against his family. ...And also Cookie doesn't know what "quick" means.
Originally Posted by Alwyn
I like the way that you focused our attention on the chestnut tree and the character climbing it. They may be growing up, but at least one of them still climbs trees. The line about "a monkey hiding in your head" is a colourful way to give us an insight into Gundulf's character.
Thank you. I hope the colour in this one was satisfying as well, albeit mostly dark again.
Originally Posted by Derc
I can summarize it even further: Two boys sit under a tree and wonder what happened to the third boy who has became estranged to them. They then find out that the boy was secretly listening to their talk. *Dramatic chapter ending music*
So we got the information that Aistulf was the victim of some mistreatment, which left its mark on him. This could set up some nice things, and I guess it will. This chapter would've made no sense otherwise. That was a bit too obvious.
Damn you figured it all out. I guess this part didn't surprise you at all, did it?
Originally Posted by Derc
Your story and your comments truly keep the balance between each other when it comes to tragedies.
Can only repeat, this AAR is not only interesting because of the story, but because of all the background details as well.
Traditions need to be upheld! I hope I get this contentbox also past 2900 words.
Originally Posted by Turkafinwë
I too liked this one, it's written in a more light-hearted tone while it still holds the overall seriousness of the story. I personally find it lovely to hear of your personal connection to the choice of tree used in the story. It establishes a closer relationship between the reader and the elements used. I'd wager that a lot of us do exactly the same. It's easier to write about things you've had a personal experience with than if you didn't have said experience.
I'm really getting invested in the dynamic between these three boys and am anxious to see how it all plays out. One particular thing I like about this AAR is the unpredictability of it. I am never sure on how the story is going to progress and this sense of mystery is really pulling me into the story.
I hope I met your expectations. This combination between lightheartedness and seriousness is hard to pull off, so I hope it worked out. Same goes for the boys.
Originally Posted by Derc
Betraying people is ok but false lists are unacceptable. Atone for your sins at once!
As you wish duce. Your fault! |