False Portents

[Gandalfus]

Around the dirty streets and winding alleyways London, and throughout the pastoral countryside surrounding the capital, the Earl of Hereford begins his search for a suitable asset in a grander scheme. Knights and servants in Hereford's employ, clad in plain woollen cloth to disguise their allegiance, went about enquiring as to the most unscrupulous priest (or priests) that they could find. Not some infamous drunk and whoremonger, of course, but a clergyman of ambition, of little qualms with bending the word of God to suit their own needs. It would, at this stage, require a great deal of secrecy, but the Earl was quietly confident that the right man would be found to suit his purpose.

[Dirty Chai]

Where do they begin their search? What kind of ... sources.. do they seek out?

[Gandalfus]

Their search began in the heart of England, with the smaller churches and chapels that lay in the villages dotted along the outskirts of London town. It would be made known that a good deal of money was being offered in exchange for some unmentioned service that would cause an equally good deal of controversy.

[Dirty Chai]

A handful of clergy make themselves known, a few deacons and several low-level priests, inquiring after the task at hand.

[Gandalfus]

Each are told the same thing: a hundred and fifty pounds will go to whoever succeeds at their appointed task.

Their benefactor is a pious man, and claims to have heard of one especially touched by the Lord. A girl, innocent as a lamb, with prophetic visions that have been sent from heaven and God himself. She speaks of the vice gripping England: heretics allowed to preach in the streets against the mother church, corruption and mismanagement by the royal favourites, and the lewd sexual crimes that are committed behind the closed doors of the royal court. In particular, however, she extols the virtues of one Roger Mortimer, Earl of March and Ulster, even going so far to say that he is King Arthur returned.

The priests are charged with finding such a girl, if they can, and putting her under their protection: for there are many ambitious souls that would conspire to bring such a gifted girl to harm.

[Dirty Chai]

Every single one of them seems to know exactly who this girl is, or at least, pretends to know. Almost half of them seem hesitant to the idea of dealing with such fuel for the pyre, but the others less so.

One of them must have reported this to a patron, however, for some days later a few of these anonymous retainers are brought to St Albans. The abbot, one Thomas Mathers, tells them that he can tell these men where to find this girl, that he'll remember suddenly if a random, generous, pious donation were to land in the church's coffers in St. Albans.

[Gandalfus]

The retainers return a few days later, apparently having secured this donation. A hundred pounds were delivered in a few hefty sacks of gold and silver, deposited at the very door of the church itself. It is not clear who this gift was from, but the retainers clearly expected some kind of information in return.

[Dirty Chai]

The abbot makes sure the donation is firmly in the hands of his monks before giving any sort of reciprocation. He invites the retainers to stay a while and chides them for their impatience, as he wants them to supp with him and drink wine with he and the eldest monks into the evening.

The retainers return to their master sufficiently bag-eyed and sore-headed with hazy memories that they should go to Oxford or Cambridge (they couldn't remember which) looking for a fellow named, they think, "Crowman".

[Gandalfus]

Naturally, two parties are sent to Oxford and Cambridge to search out this 'Crowman' fellow, dressed in the same plain brown cloth as before and instructed not to attract too much attention to themselves. If no 'Crowman' is discovered, then they are instructed to return to this 'Abbot' and obtain the return of the money by any means necessary, violent or otherwise.

[Dirty Chai]

Where do they look for this Crowman? How?

[Gandalfus]

They walk around every village picking daisies until some miraculous angel appears to them, pointing the way to the Crowman of legend.

Or so they wished it were that easy. They wander through the respective towns of Oxford and Cambridge, asking vaguely after this so-called 'Crowman', and offering to pay anyone who should decide to lead them to him.

[Dirty Chai]

The villagers and townsmen in both shires have no idea about any "Crowman" - a few even chuckle behind the retainers' backs.

[Gandalfus]

They marvelled at the swindling skills of the abbot. Surely, such a master swindler should deserve a reward for his efforts at deception, ensuring that Hereford's men were effectively misled for no apparent gain at all. Among themselves they spoke in hushed whispers about the inherent duplicity of the clergy: the Lollards appeared to be right!

So, to reward this abbot, they returned to the chapel at nightfall, bearing torches and steel. They'd get their money back, one way or another, crowman be damned.

[Dirty Chai]

The abbey chides Hereford's men for remembering "Crawford" as "Crowman"

[Gandalfus]

Seeing as Crawford is in Lancashire, they could probably be forgiven for that incident. Swords sheathed, they sheepishly departed, making their way on horseback to report back to the Earl that the girl they seek lay in "Crawford" rather than being located with the "Crowman". This extremely inept band of men could not possibly run into any more trouble on the way to Crawford... Right?

[Dirty Chai]

It takes them some weeks to arrive in southwestern Lancashire, but when they do arrive, how do they go about searching for this enigmatic girl?

[Gandalfus]

The same manner in which they did in Oxford and Cambridge. Not particularly bright as well as being very slow and laborious (for it had taken them weeks to accomplish what should have been a simple journey) these men go about enquiring as to the whereabouts of a "prophetic girl", one especially blessed by the Lord.

[Dirty Chai]

They must of course mean that one shepherd's daughter, the one over in Rainford. The one with the big tits? Yeah, that's the one. No, no, they're looking for that nun girl, the one who had the same name. Really? Huh.

[Gandalfus]

Naturally, they first went to enquire after the one with an ample bosom...

[Dirty Chai]

How do they search for her in Rainford?