The Thumb of Saint Edith

[Pontifex Maximus]

Saintly relics could fall in and out of fashion, this much was known, especially when one seemed to be losing its efficacy as a religious totem. As Bishop Repington's carriage creaked its way southwards towards Limpley Stoke in Wiltshire, he pondered what price might be put on the relic. He may find it abandoned in some closet somewhere or the cellar perhaps. The small town offered little in the way of entertainment or notable persons to meet, but soon the BIshop disembarked and entered the small local parish, looking for the pastor.

[Pontifex Maximus]

updated

[Barry Goldwater]

It doesn't take long for Bishop Repington to find Limpley Stoke's local priest, a chubby middle-aged man with beady eyes and an oily smile. The man, who locals identified as 'Father Geoffrey', waddled towards Repington and moved to kiss his ring as part of his greeting. "Most Reverend Excellency, you honor our humble hamlet with your presence." Geoffrey was breathless, and it probably wasn't from being struck with awe at Repington's countenance: he was easily the fattest man in the entire town, and had to cover a fair bit of distance to reach the Bishop of Lincoln.

[Pontifex Maximus]

"Father Geoffrey" Repington saluted politely. "It is indeed a fine village, and I trust you have done well to keep the local populace close to the bosom of the church. I have come to Limpley in order to acquire after an ancient relic, one of St. Edith. Perhaps you have heard of her?" He should have, his Parish was dedicated to Saint Edith after all.

[Barry Goldwater]

"Of course, of course. We had one of her fingers, and it was this parish's main attraction for pilgrims until about twenty years ago." Father Geoffrey shook his head. Curiously, he used the past tense when referring to Saint Edith's relic.

[Pontifex Maximus]

"How unfortunate." Repington replied. "I would very much like to see it, I have begun a small devotional to the Saint in Lincolnshire, in fact, one of our Parishes is devoted to her."

[Barry Goldwater]

"Ah yes, well..." Father Geoffrey suddenly looked very uncomfortable, and coughed lightly. "I would gladly give it to you, Most Reverend Excellency, if I still had it. Unfortunately, I do not - it was stolen just two days ago." He shook his head. "One morning it had just disappeared from the reliquary, and the church's doors had been opened - I make sure they are closed every night - while someone had left mud prints on the floor with their shoes. We are still investigating this matter, and you are welcome to view our findings thus far. We've reason to suspect this was no ordinary theft."

[Pontifex Maximus]

The Bishop frowned, aghast. He had been prepared to show the village some sign of respect by saying masses and performing the sacraments for the townsfolk, or even making a large cash donation, but this was most troubling news. "What type of sordid pagan would do such a thing?" he asked, enraged. "Such a crime against the church cannot go uninvestigated and unpunished. I shall devote my energies to such an endeavor until we have exhausted all possible suspects. Tell me, who is the Lord of these lands?"

ooc: is this area PC?

[Barry Goldwater]

"Thomas Stanley, also Lord of Mann, was made Earl of Wiltshire last year." Geoffrey responded. "But if we act quickly, we may not require his intervention. It's only been two days, whoever stole the finger of Saint Edith could not have gone far - there was no sign of them having brought horses." He cleared his throat. "Whether your Most Reverend Excellency sees fit to involve Lord Stanley or not, however, we have been sending the evidence we've gathered to the local bailiff's home, if you would like to peruse it."

OOC: Yep, Wiltshire's under Skylord's control.

[Pontifex Maximus]

The Bishop digested the news. "James!" he called. Several moments later, a man dressed in a gray robe of the Franciscan Order appeared. "My Lord Bishop?" he inquired. "The relic intended for your abbey has been stolen by some unscrupulous fellow, I am afraid." The Abbot scowled. "Not two days past." The Abbot spoke "Then it can still be recovered?" The Bishop replied "That is my hope, and Father Geoffrey's prognosis, indeed."

The Bishop turned back to the priest. "Fetch the local Sherriff. Inform him that I shall offer a 1,000 crown reward to any person who provides information that leads to the recapture of the Thumb of Saint Edith back into church control. For now, we will not involve Lord Stanley. Summon all persons with access to the parish church, keyholders and all staff. They must be questioned individually. Furthermore, I shall pay for the services of twenty men to act as my agents at the rate of a flat fee of 20 crowns. They shall be responsible for carrying out my will with regards to the arrest and interrogation of witnesses or suspects. I shall pen a writ to the Bishop of Wiltshire as well as Lord Stanley informing them of this matter, and they may play their respective roles. I shall sit as a licensed canon judge in this jurisdiction until relieved by an Archbishop or the Bishop of Wiltshire if he wishes to supercede my jurisdiction."

[Barry Goldwater]

It took less than half an hour for a bevy of witnesses to show up and not that much longer to interrogate them, as the villagers were faithful believers and readily forthcoming with information: the parish staff, including the old groundskeeper who spotted the thieves while making his rounds ("I swear I saw two figures, hooded and cloaked, bolt out of the church and away from town! Damn these worn-out old legs though, I couldn't keep up with them...") and two keyholders (one of whom claims to have lost his key four days ago, but later found it at the same tree he'd been sleeping under when he first lost it) had the most relevant information to relay, however. Bishop Repington & Sir John Willoughby, the Sheriff of Wiltshire also found no shortage of men willing to serve as their agents for the 20-crown wage, to the point where Sheriff Willoughby wound up having to turn some extra applicants away. Said Sheriff also informed the Bishop that there was a known smugglers' ring operating in Wiltshire, which he had yet to successfully suppress and who might be responsible for the theft ("Crafty swine, the lot of them. They always seem to be one step ahead of me, as their hideouts are always empty and picked clean by the time me and my men barge in.").

Perhaps most critically (and certainly most dramatically) however was what the bailiff, who as Father Geoffrey said had been gathering evidence over these last two days, had to say. "I suspect the Lollard heretics did this!" The bailiff, a wiry man whose brown hair were starting to turn grey, declared with a dramatic flourish when it was his turn to be questioned. In his hands he held a brown bag which held his gathered evidence, and which he would reveal when commanded.

[Pontifex Maximus]

The Bishop weighed the evidence in turn, each seeming to lead in a different direction. Yet, with limited manpower, the response would have to be organized, direct, and unfortunately, limited. "In light of this evidence, I shall apply for a writ to bring before this ad hoc court any travelers heading away from this Hamlet over one days past wihin a distance of 40 miles and dispatch pairs of riders in every direction leading from town for this effect. Any who do not willingly submit to having their baggage searched will be arrested and brought here for questioning, except that no man, woman or child may be arrested who has been afflicted with sickness, or poffers a convincing alibi." That dispensed with the issue of smuggling, the Bishop hoped.

"In order to seek out the offenders, if there be any to be found here, I will rely on the tactics of the Inquisition. Any citizen may accuse another citizen, provided that the accusation is seconded by two other credible freemen. Once so accused, the accused man or woman will be granted a hearing and the opportunity to confront witnesses and before said hearing the accused will have the opportunity to offer to the Court a list of names of those bearing him ill will. If the witnesses against the accused are so named, the charge shall be dismissed outright. The the turnkeys of the Parish, I pass a sentence for dereliction of duty to one day in the stocks, a sentence I suspend as they bore no true malice in their hearts, but the sentence shall serve as warning to future staff that dereliction is not tolerated." the Bishop paused, wondering if he had forgotten anything. 'Any known Lollard is to be arrested and brought before this court immediately." It was the most haunting proscription, as they had not been guaranteed any due process.

[Barry Goldwater]

The Bishop's orders were carried out smoothly. A few of the villagers accused one another of the theft, but it soon turned out that accuser and accused all had feuds with one another (including a man who accused his mother-in-law of being a witch, when it turned out that they simply had the problems many in-laws had), and Sheriff Willoughby also pointed out that it was unlikely the thief would've dared remain in Limpley Stoke anyway ("Unless their mother dropped them on their heads when they were infants, they'd have left as quickly as they could."). The turnkeys were grateful for Repington's mercy and swear that they will be more careful in the future, as well.

Repington's orders provide him with two further leads as the day went on: first, a suspicious man was caught refusing to submit his baggage to a search. Second, a pair of his newly-recruited agents found simple crosses etched into certain trees in the nearby woods, as if they were path markers; they claim that the Lollards, a heresy (in)famous for considering the Catholic Church's rituals and occasional ostentatious display of wealth to be ungodly, favored such simple symbols.

[Pontifex Maximus]

The man who refused the search is ordered to be brought before the Bishop. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself? We have a missing relic, and you have been caught travelling away from the town and refused to submit to the lawful order. Explain yourself or I will be compelled to force you to submit to search."

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"The Lollards." The Bishop said with disgust. "It would fit that they would abscond with such a symbol of church authority, and th eobject of pilgrimage. Perhaps they consider the use of the Saint's relic to raise incomes to be unholy. Sherriff!" the Bishop called. "Would you be interested in scouring the local vicinity for heretics? My posse of hired men could accompany you. I put a price of one hundred crowns on the head of every Lollard heretic brought before me."

[Barry Goldwater]

"I can explain," The man began a little unsteadily. He definitely sounded like he was intimidated. "I was trying to get to Freshford, just over the border in Somerset to the south. My mother's sick and I need to be by her side, which is why I was in such a hurry that I couldn't stop for your men. I swear I have nothing to hide." The man had brought a bag with him, which was seized by the guards but still remains unsearched - unless Bishop Repington would like to change that.

----------------

It takes several hours for Sheriff Willoughby and the Bishop's posse to return from the woods, at which point he made a beeline for Bishop Repington. "Most Reverend Excellency, I'm pleased to announce that we've caught one of the Lollards in the woods. I 'persuaded' him to give up the location of a cave where he and his fellow heretics meet, though he insisted to the end that they don't have the thumb of Saint Edith. Naturally, we drew lots to determine who'd have the right to strike off his head afterward - the only good Lollard's a dead Lollard, and all that. The man who won that lottery is currently still standing by for his reward with the rest of your band, at the village outskirts." He was a little out of breath from riding and running so much throughout the day, but as befitting a trained knight in fit physical condition, aside from that shortness of breath he didn't seem close to being exhausted. "The heretics are planning on convening again at sunset. We can set an ambush around the cave and move in the moment they all enter it, if that is your will."

[Pontifex Maximus]

"I can explain," The man began a little unsteadily. He definitely sounded like he was intimidated. "I was trying to get to Freshford, just over the border in Somerset to the south. My mother's sick and I need to be by her side, which is why I was in such a hurry that I couldn't stop for your men. I swear I have nothing to hide." The man had brought a bag with him, which was seized by the guards but still remains unsearched - unless Bishop Repington would like to change that.

"Search his belongings" The Bishop ordered. If the man's story checked out, he would be sent on his way with some silver in his pocket for his troubles. If he was lying...

It takes several hours for Sheriff Willoughby and the Bishop's posse to return from the woods, at which point he made a beeline for Bishop Repington. "Most Reverend Excellency, I'm pleased to announce that we've caught one of the Lollards in the woods. I 'persuaded' him to give up the location of a cave where he and his fellow heretics meet, though he insisted to the end that they don't have the thumb of Saint Edith. Naturally, we drew lots to determine who'd have the right to strike off his head afterward - the only good Lollard's a dead Lollard, and all that. The man who won that lottery is currently still standing by for his reward with the rest of your band, at the village outskirts." He was a little out of breath from riding and running so much throughout the day, but as befitting a trained knight in fit physical condition, aside from that shortness of breath he didn't seem close to being exhausted. "The heretics are planning on convening again at sunset. We can set an ambush around the cave and move in the moment they all enter it, if that is your will."

The Bishop produced a purse with the head price within. He was not willing to take the Sherriff's word that the man they caught was a heretic, such a policy would lead to a veritable scouring of the countryside for every poor wretch caught praying in English. "Set the ambush, Sherriff. I shall question the man you caught to determine the truth of the matter. Bring him here."

Several moments later when the man had been brought, the Bishop remained seated and presented his ring, seeing if the man would kiss it. "You've been accused of Lollardy, yeoman. Do you admit your participation in this heresy? Do you have in your possession, or have you ever read, a bible translated into English? Have you ever read or published pamphlets aimed to undermine the teachings of mother church?"

[Barry Goldwater]

The man's belongings were searched, and at first it seemed everything was fine. The bag held provisions, fresh clothes, medicinal herbs and other things a traveler might be expected to carry. Some of the clothes appeared to be a little fancy, but nothing out of the ordinary for someone from the middle class. Except for one little thing...

"This is my wife's locket," One of the yeomen in the posse said slowly, raising a silver locket in his hands. "We lost it a week ago...when we had a few new visitors in town." The stranger's face contorted with panic momentarily before he stated, still clearly nervous, "You must be mistaken. That locket is my mother's." "You calling me a liar or a fool, stranger? This is definitely my wife's." The yeoman spat back, fixing a glare on the newcomer he had helped arrest.

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"Aye and nay, though not fer lack o' trying in the second case. If only I had one of those fancy printing presses the continentals 'ave, and knew how to work it, I'd gladly have helped fight your Church's work ta' keep the gospel truth out of the people's hands." The Lollard, a middle-aged man with a lined face and whose brown hair was turning grey, said. He resolutely stared Bishop Repington in the eye, clearly defiant.

Meanwhile, the sheriff and his posse had set off to lay the ambush. It would be a while before they returned, naturally, so the Bishop had plenty of time to interrogate (or kill) the Lollard.

[Pontifex Maximus]

"It would seem we have uncovered just a common thief." the Bishop replied, amused. It was obvious what had happened here. "Incarcerate this man, he falls under the jurisdiction of the Sherriff for this alleged crime, I will not overly meddle in lay affairs. He will get to the bottom of it. Now, as for this heretic..." The Bishop turned to face the man. "You have confessed in front of this court your sympathy for this heretical faction. By the laws of the Realm and Holy Mother Church, I must pass the sentence of death on your head. You will be denied burial on consecrated ground...may God have mercy on your soul." Perhaps in this moment the man would attempt to save himself by betraying his friends further, but if not, he had said enough.

[Barry Goldwater]

The Lollard remained silently defiant upon being sentenced to death. He clearly must have plenty of confidence that he is bound for Heaven...

------

Sometime later, the sheriff returns with his posse, missing three men. Despite his casualties and a hastily bandaged hand, Willoughby seems mighty pleased with himself and is prepared to report when summoned by Bishop Repington: surely, an indication that the raid had gone well.

[Pontifex Maximus]

"Encountered some brigands, sherriff?" Repington asked