The Tale of the White Leopard - low fantasy (Chapter XVI)

[General Brewster]

If you put up a (readable) warning there shouldn't be an issue if I recall correctly

[Admiral Van Tromp]

Chapter XIV is up.

Added glossary entries for:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Adamax IV Setiarodas, Emperor ; Basterian Rebels ; Palatian Calendar ; Sadakor

@Brewster: Thanks for the advice. In any case, I don't think it's necessary in this instance.

[Alwyn]

Good update! I enjoyed hearing Zlemissen and Xardes remembering the old days and comparing those days to their current situations.

[Admiral Van Tromp]

Chapter XV is up.

Sorry for the longer wait, but this one was hard to write.

@Alwyn: Thank you! I feel like the references to locations and factions in that conversation may have been a bit overwhelming. Any thoughts? I have referenced most of them before, and they'll play a part in the future. Still, I'll try to be more restrained with those.

[Alwyn]

Wow, chapter XV presents a powerful picture of the fear and desperation of the prisoners and of the ruthlessness of Xardes!

You asked whether the references to locations and factions in the previous chapter could have been overwhelming. Perhaps one or two fewer references would have been a good thing; however, such references are (I believe) inevitable in longer stories. As the story develops over time, of course people refer to different places and factions. It can be difficult for a reader to keep track of them all, so one challenge for writers to find ways to remind readers of them without over-use of such obvious devices as 'As You Know, Bob'. Of course, we can remind readers of the significance or character of places or people - as you did in Chapter XIV, when Rama refers to Xardes as "that monster" - without using the 'As You Know' device.

[Admiral Van Tromp]

Chapter XVI is up!

New relevant entries will be added once there is more information.

@Alwyn: Thank you, I'm glad it was impactful! I appreciate the feedback and advice. I try to avoid "As you know Bob" like the plague. If you ever see something similar, it's because it passed under my radar.

[Alwyn]

Good chapter! The opening dialogue about the shortcomings of Shatar was nicely done. I enjoyed the speculation by Vijender about wider events and the conversation between Ajud and Silander - two hurting people trying to make sense of the dark times in which they live. I hope that Silander will be okay.