Books that never got published...
Hello there. I was reading an article in the Daily Express about books that never got published and I laughed so hard I spilt coffee on my crotch. Please get some coffee and station it near your crotch area so I don't feel alone...
FICTION
Planet of the Knob Heads
Stanton A Coblentz, 1939.
Roger the Scout
H strang and G Lawrence, 1910.
LANGUAGES
An Irishmans' difficulties with the Dutch language
Rev. John Irwin Brown, 1908.
Laundry Lists with detachable counter-checks in French, spanish, Portuguese, German, Italian, including vocabularies and neccessary phrases and phonetic spelling.
W J Hernan, 1909.
NATURE
Swine judging for beginners
Joel simmons coffey, 1915.
Rats for those who care
Susan Fox, 1995.
Enjoy your skunks
Ellen Perley, 1967.
Beyond leaf raking
P.Benson & E. Roelkeppartain, 1994.
Thirty years of Bananas
Alex Makula, 1970.
Arresting disclosures. A report on the strange findings in undergarments washed with soap and water and popularly supposed to be clean, fresh and wholesome
John A. Bolton, 1924.
The urine dance of the Zuni Indians of New Mexico
Captain John G Bourke, 1885.
HEALTH
A pictorial book of tongue coating
Anon, 1981.
Old Age: It's cause and prevention
Sanford Bennett, 1912.
The inheritance of hairy ear rims
B R Gates and P N Bhaduri, 1961.
Memoirs of an amnesiac
Oscar Levant, 1965.
SEX AND MARRAIGE
How to pick up women in Discos
Don Diebal, 1981.
Happy though Married
Harriet Dorson, 1923.
THE WORKPLACE
The joy of cataloguing
Sanford Berman, 1981.
The Romance of the Civil Service
Samuel McKechnie, 1930.
SPORT
Queen Victoria and Ping-pong
Gwendolen Freeman, 2004.
By his own hand: A study of Cricket's suicides
David Frith, 1991.
LEISURE
The great pantyhose crafts book
Ed and ateve Baldwin, 1982.
Suggestive handwork for lower classes
Arthur B Neal, 1874.
Proceedings of the second international potato modelling conference
A J Haverkort, 1995.
Knitted historical figures
Jan Messant, 1992.
Frolic and fun with egg shells
Meredith Nugent, 1903.
Spirit wrapping made easy
Dion sweird, 1926.
FOOD AND DRINK
Why not eat insects?
Vincent M Holt, 1885.
The Thermodynamics of pizza
Harold J Morowitz, 1991.
WAR AND CONFLICT
Nuclear war: What's in it for you?
Ground zero war pub., 1982.
Your answer to invasion- Ju-Jitsu
James Hipkiss, 1941.
Thrilling experiences of the first British woman relieved by Lord Roberts
J.R. 1900.
How to Abandon Ship
P.Richards, J. Banigan, 1933.
LAW AND ORDER
Truncheons: Their Romance and Reality
Erland Fenn Clark, 1935.
Taking Life Imprisonment Serously
Dick van Zyl Smit, 2002.
CLOTHES AND FASHION
Living without gloves
Halford E Luccock, 1957.
Intemperance and Tight Lacing, considered in relation to the laws of life
O S Fowler, 1849.
ONES THAT ACTUALLY DID GET PUBLISHED
Not worth reading
Sir George Compton Arhibald Arthur, 1914.
(I assume it's a book about books not worth reading!)
1587: A year of no significance
Ray Huang, 1981.
I think my favourites are the How to Abandon ship and Your answer to invasion: Ju-jitsu.
What books do you think woudn't get a publisher in 2006? I think-
Polonium and it's uses
V. Putin, 2006
Byzantine History and it's relevence to Christian/Moslem understanding
Pope Benedict, 2006
Last edited by Markas; November 28, 2006 at 04:25 PM.
Reason: Spelling etc
'When people stop believing in God, they don’t believe in nothing — they believe in anything. '
-Emile Cammaerts' book The Laughing Prophets (1937)
Under the patronage of Nihil. So there.
Bloody Brilliant Title, must be Einstein's Idea 
