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Thread: An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle (Updated 05/02/16)

  1. #1
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    Default An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle (Updated 05/02/16)

    So, with my writing currently in a rut so deep that you'd need a sub that could dive to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, I decided to play some Attila. Like many, I bought this game expecting very little but getting a lot. First of all, cavalry is now useful again for the first time in a decade. Secondly, the Western Roman Empire is a campaign that epitomises why Total War is awesome. (With the Radious mod, it's a little easier but certainly fairer: No more 80% corruption for me!)

    However, that is not why I am here. I'm here to show you an alternative to the end of Roman Britain. For those unaware, the Romans abandoned it after realising that it wasn't worth what they were paying the soldiers to guard it, leaving the Britons at the mercy of the Angles and Saxons. Their domination involved the near legendary event at Stonehenge, where the Britons tried to negotiate with the Saxons, bringing no weapons to show their honesty. The Saxons proceeded to pull out every axe and knife they could find and killed everyone there. So much for a free Britannia.

    So, I shall change things. I shall take control of the Ebdanians on the island that the Romans called Hibernia. And I shall carve out my own place in the corner of this world.

    Liber Unus: When in doubt, invade Wales
    So, welcome to Ireland. More specifically, Dublin, but for the sake of the game lets assume that our heroes were able to assume full control of Ireland with control of this one settlement.

    Note: For the sake of the poor saps who read this, I've spoilered my images, merely to avoid clutter. I'll expect my payment in the post.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 




    So, here we have our boss, Vosenios and his little army. (I screwed up slightly by setting the unit size to medium, it was fixed soon after but this image was pretty good so...)

    As you can see, our troops look fairly awful. Now, looks can be deceiving, but in this case they are not. Celtic troops are BAD. The one good thing is that we can get archers early on and we have spearmen to ruin any of those pesky Roman Equites that are very painful to deal with. Fortunately, this isn't the only army we have to deal with the barbaric, monotheistic, hygienic Imperials.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Now this is more like it! Obviously against a full Roman army, this thing would kill approximately five of them before being annihilated. Fortunately, Rome has a small garrison on Britannia, unworthy of the place which gave us Boudicca and fish and chips. So, as with any good invasion force, we shall target the weakest place. And as luck would have it, Segentum is looking nice and ripe for the picking. Let's kill them. Though first, we must pass a turn, because our troops need to recover from crossing the Irish Sea. So, as the next turn rolls around, we take the opportunity to give Emperor Honorius a good old Irish greeting.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    And with that, Ireland declared war on the largest Empire ever seen at the time. Oh boy. Anyway, with the talking aside, lets start killing the Welsh! Now, I know what you're all thinking. You're thinking.

    "Lortano you utter pleb! What kind of moron assaults a Roman settlement? They have strong defensive troops and those towers are a pain in the arse!"

    A fair point. But I ask you, do the Romans have these?

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Yeah. Suck on that, Imperial scum! Isn't it wonderful what the promise of loot and booty can get you? Still, I must confess I was rather nervous about this fight. If the Romans chose to remain in their settlement, that would ruin a lot of my men. I would have to spend ages throwing fireballs at the towers to get them to die, those things are an absolute beast to deal with. I should have realised that overestimating the AI is a bad idea. Sure enough, they decided to charge out and let their seaborne garrison attempt to flank my forces. What could possibly go wrong with such a sound plan?

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Possibly because these ships were slower than the plot of A Song of Ice and Fire, I intercepted them, first with some Celtic Levy, then my General. Oddly enough, these light assault troops and skirmishers fared poorly. But then, to my surprise, an actual intelligent move by the AI!

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    I admit, they got me. Fortunately, Equites are not as devastating as most cavalry and they were attempting to charge spearmen and a general unit. I drove them off (Criminally, I didn't get nearly enough screenshots as I should have done here.) To summarise, I ended up fighting and surrounding the enemy general and shattering everyone involved. This screenshot is the only real proof I have of this.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Now, what this screenshot does helpfully show is that my archers have not actually used any ammunition. I imagine the responses now.

    "Lortano you British bottom feeder! What kind of idiot doesn't weaken his opponent before throwing his troops into battle?"

    Well, this is my ace in the hole. The Ebdanians have a special trait that gives +100 income for every 10% damage done to a settlement in battle as well as a 75% bonus to loot income. In short, burning settlements (Easily the most fun thing to do in Atilla) is in my interest. So, let's begin. First of all, that tower.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    I love the smell of burning arrow tower in the morning, it smells like an average day in Glasgow. Now, what other cool screenshots did I get of this? Have a few on me.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 





    Ah, Catapults are fun. Now, let's send in our archers with their fire arrows. That's why I kept them back, simply so we could get them to destroy what little remains of this settlement.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    So, after the last enemy unit reaches the red line of escape, we end, with about 20% of the settlement destroyed. Not bad, 200 extra income is always fun. So, as we exit the battle screen, I decie to loot and occupy, reasoning that rebellion is easy enough to put down and I want that sweet 75% extra. Plus, last time I looted and left, the Caledonians took the settlement a turn later. Not this time.

    So, my head now turns to the rest of Britannia. With Wales at my command and a base within a turn of movement from Ireland, I am in a prime position to take the rest of the Isles. Only one thing stands in my way, the Roman Army at Lindum. This will be the first real test of this campaign. Will we succeed? Find out next time!



  2. #2

    Default Re: An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle

    Hey Lortano,

    quite entertaining. Really unusual faction choice. The Isles are getting quite some love these days...
    Britannia should be a nice target for your conquest. I wonder what your goal will be afterwards? Maybe a semi-observer AAR?

    I haven't seen any Attila AARs that focus on whats going on in the world. That used to be a big thing back in ME2
    Keep it up, and nice humorous style of writing!

    Cheers
    Chronicles of Cimmeria - A Kimmerios Bosporos AAR (EB2)
    The Age of Peace - A TW: Warhammer Empire AAR
    Blood Red Eagle - The Sons of Lodbrok Invasion of Northumbrialand [complete]
    Machines - A Sci-Fi Short Story [complete]

  3. #3
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    Default Re: An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle

    A long one, but a satisying one.

    Liber Duo: Romani ite domum!


    With Wales under my control, albeit slightly unhappy due to me murdering all of them, I set my sights on the rest of the province of Britannia Inferior. Of course, to take this before any of our Celtic brethren do, we'll need more men. Fortunately, Wales is a turn's worth of movement away from Hibernia, so I send my faction leader to hand over a few extra pairs of hands.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    As you can see, a few extra spearmen and some archers will be very useful, especially the archers, they essentially double my burning ability when it comes to sieges. Speaking of which, my general in charge of the Wandering Warriors levelled up.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Upping our income for sacking stacks nicely with our 75% bonus, so I went with that. To be honest, I don't tend to use raiding stance, it never struck me as very useful unless you simply want cheap income from an enemy you aren't fighting. So really it's just for the sacking bonus. Because sacking is fun.

    Anyway, I also happened to finish up the first military tech by the end of Turn 2. I decide that I will up the quality of my troops and go for Nordic Shipbuilding, which in the screenshot below, you can see makes my Spearmen and my Skirmishers better.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Bah, enough of this housekeeping bullcrap, you all came here for the violence and my humour. Okay, maybe 60% violence and 40% humour. No? 70-30?

    So, our main opponent is the Legio VI, led by a chap called Sextus Perennis. With my army ready, I set off immediately and attack the town of Lindum, where they happen to be stationed.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    As you can see, this battle will be slightly harder. He not only has an extra unit of cavalry to complement the garrison Equites, he hired a mercenary Celtic Skirmisher Cav, which are fairly dangerous if used effectively. He also has more Cohors and Borderguards, the backbone of any Roman force. He even has mercenary Celtic foot skirmishers, adding to the Levis he already has and the unit of Sagitarii in the garrison. Fairly nasty and it should prove to be quite the test of my forces, how will they handle a true Roman army, as opposed to the useless garrisons?

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Here's the basic formation I went with as the battle began. A fairly standard one, swords at the front with skirmishers, spearmen and Cav on the flanks. I also put two spearmen behind the swords in order to counter any cavalry charges straight down the middle. I kept the archers in the back to save them for the burning but I put the catapult at the front in order to A) shoot at their front archer tower and B) Hit the enemy that pass said archer tower if the fireballs drop short. In short, it's a solid battle plan, but you never know with the Romans.

    Fortunately, formation is something the Romans apparently forgot over the 3rd and 4th centuries, because the Skirmishers and Cavalry charge out first. Annyingly, I had placed my catapults a little close to the front lines and one javelin went a little too far.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Ow.

    Needless to say, the enemy proceeded to do exactly as any sane person expected, they went ahead and charged directly at my centre. Not a bad idea, considering the Celtic Band's resistance to cavalry can be compared to a papyrus fragment over two thousand years old getting water spilled on it. Unfortunately for them, my skirmishers have a surprise for them.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    The charge was slowed slightly by the volley and killed more than a few of them, but unfortunately they still managed to cause some damage. Fortunately, my Spearmen were directly behind the Band and they charged in. The result can be seen of this shot as the remaining part of that unit retreats.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    I love how, despite spearmen being there, they charged their other unit of Equites in as well. As you can see, the first unit of Equites is now a non issue, but we have bigger problems. The rest of the army has found its way out of the town and is on the way and among them are archers and those scary Cohors.

    Sadly, I became quite enthralled by the strategy and have few screenshots of the battle lines. The best one I do have shows us looking down the battle line from the left flank, where my general has just engaged their garrison commander's unit in battle.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    In the image, things look to be going well. The Borderguards, however, are a bigger threat than I anticipated, look how they damaged my levy and my spearmen in front of the catapult, and those aren't the ones charged by the cav. Speaking of which, those units are fighting on the far right flank against the Cohors, as can be seen in the left of the image. For some reason the Cohors are suffering against them, far more than one would expect them to be. After all, isn't Sword>Spear the core of Total War? I can't explain it, but anyway.

    Off camera, on the far left flank, the Romans sent their Celtic Mounted Skirms straight into my lines. Fortunately, they charged close to spearmen and my own Mercenary Mounted Skirms, so we drove them away and broke them. So much for all that money.

    Meanwhile, our catapult scores a direct hit on that pesky archer tower, and then got a little bit more for their trouble.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Sadly they did not hit the Roman General right next to the inferno. If anyone is interested, they are Palatina Guard and like all General units they are pretty good. And he might need them soon, because our cav managed to get behind our enemy, drive their skirmishers away and then delivered a coup de grace right into the back of the enemy on our right flank. The result is clear, the latest enemy unit to enter battle, another unit of Cohors, faces a right flank that has completely disintergrated.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Here's a nice tactical overview to show the state of the battle.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Effectively, the battle is done. Their garrison commander fighting my general was promptly charged by a free Celtic Band and began to break, though they did very well against my Bodyguard. Surprising, I'll have to keep it in mind. Speaking of Spearmen fighting against foes they probably shouldn't, note the unit of spears I'm charging towards the enemy general from the left. Now, I know what you're thinking.

    "Lortano, you pillock! Only an idiot attempts to fight the Romans on their own ground!"

    Damn right, I didn't expect the Levy to defeat a Roman General alone. I merely wanted to move them out of position so we could get a look at those archers behind them. Those annoying guys had been a pain the entire battle. The next screenshot demonstrates this plan in action.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    It worked perfectly, my cav that had been chewing through some skirmishers was able to slip behind the bodyguard and turn those Sagittarii into chunks so tiny that you'd find it easier to find the constellation Sagittarius with one eye.

    Then something even more surprising happened. Far from actually losing the fight (Bear in mind my TIER ONE spearmen charged swordsmen who were fresh and were far better while being outnumbered by around twenty men) my guys actually managed to even the odds!

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Yeah, this screenshot was taken on the moment of my cav charging them, before the casualties registered, so my TIER ONE spearmen managed to take twenty off the Palatina Guard in a short period of time. I have no idea anymore. With our cav and half the army charging them, they soon fled for their lives, leaving me time to do what I do best, burning down cities!

    So, the battle ended with a rather crushing victory. The stats speak for themselves.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Very, very nice. So, next time we will move on to the first walled settlement, though with no Roman Army left in Britain, one must wonder how well it could possibly fare...See you all very soon, and thank you for all the positive comments so far.

    Last edited by Lortano; February 24, 2016 at 04:27 PM.

  4. #4
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle (Updated 05/02/16)

    A very enjoyable AAR! I'm enjoying the action scenes and the humour in equal measure (I like your line about the resistance to cavalry of a Celtic Band). May the Ebdanians march on to many more victories!

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    Default Re: An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle (Updated 05/02/16)



    Great job Lortano, true reporting on the action after it happened. Best of luck with your campaign, looking forward to reading more.
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    Default Re: An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle (Updated 05/02/16)

    Lortano, this is fantastic. I can only hope you've been having as much fun playing this as I've been having reading it!






  7. #7
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    Default Re: An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle (Updated 05/02/16)

    As you can see, I've shortened the lines of text. This was because I realised that when the screenshots were opened the lines would
    disappear off the edge of the screen. This was the best way to deal with it. Anyway, have fun!

    Liber Tres: The AI strikes again


    Ahem. Anyway, back to the campaign and less about my horrendous schedule. And social life, but who needs that when you have Total War: Attila, right lads?

    So, having won our second victory, our army can now rank up and recieve new traditions. I, of course, will go for the most sensible policy.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Yes, more morale versus Romans will come in handy if and when the Empire decides to turn their attention to us. For now though, Legio VI proved to be a
    very helpful sacrifice, leaving Roman Britain entirely unguarded aside from their garrisons. Garrisons which we will destroy soon enough. Of course,
    it is one thing to take settlements, it is another matter to hold them. We have an unfortunate problem in that regard, as the next screenshot demonstrates.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Converting settlements takes time and money, the Saxons get a bonus to the time taken but we wouldn't want to give England to any of those
    Germanic bastards now, would we? (Yes, I am still butthurt over their epic betrayal at Stonehenge.)

    Anyway, I take some time to rest up after the End Turn, only to discover that Winter has come.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Going through that would damage my troops and waste valuable turns that could be used for moving around and killing Romans, the sister loving monsters.
    So we shall sit and rebuild, giving public order a turn to recover. In the meantime, lets check the Romans. Surely our devastating blitzkrieg across Britain
    will have done a number on their armies and economy!

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Ah. We may have some work to do. I also decide to check my internal politics. Now, I am aware that internal politics in Rome 2 and Attila are horrendous,
    but allow me to explain the following screenshot as best as I can.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Okay. So, the two little red and yellow bar things to the side of the main bar labeleld 'Dominion' and 'Control' work together somehow to create 'Power'
    the main bar which confers different bonuses depending on how high it is. Currently I am 'Powerful' which gives extra tax and Integrity over Public Order.
    Ideally, I want this at 'Balanced' which has very few bonuses or maluses. In particular, the Public Order malus is a big problem and I want it gone.
    Thankfully, Dominion and Control are affected by how powerful the other faction in court is. What affects the power of other factions? Simple,
    winning battles and levelling up. And fortunately, my main general is not of my family, so as long as we keep winning, our power should decrease.

    Speaking of power, time to increase ours as Spring breaks and the next settlement shows itself.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Now we have some bad news. Note the unit of Legio, upgraded Cohors. It would seem that Rome has been doing some research,
    or have been doing that old AI trick of blatantly cheating. I suspect the latter. However, I have Onagers. They do not. Jokes on them.

    Typically, we start the battle with the usual Northern England greeting.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Delightful. Fortunately, after about six months it clears away, revealing a Roman Walled Settlement, truly a challenge for people with no ladders.
    However, I have Onagers, so your argument is entirely invalid, a bit like your walls.

    As expected, the Romans prove their tactical superiority by placing their garrison onager on the other side of the town where it can't get me.
    But as you can see, we have some serious opposition at the front gate, not least the two archer towers that will rain misery upon my men.
    Therefore, I decide to attack them first with my Onager.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    However, my Onager proves to be less than effective and misses many, many times. Fortunately, behind the towers lie the Equites.
    Horse Lovers, you might want to look away from the images, they contain a couple of charred Dobbins and several dead men.
    Y'know, just in case you got this AAR expecting some sort of Pacifist run like its ing Undertale.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    And thus, as my Onagers finally run dry of rocks, I turn and look at the damage with a big smile on my face.
    No doubt the gatehouse is a wreck and soon my troops will pour in and annihilate them all!

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Oh bollocks. My Onagers used so much on the towers that they weren't quite able to break the gate. Fortunately, my Levy will do
    this the old fashioned way!

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    By stabbing at the gate with their knives! Yes, the good old fashioned way to get in to a builiding, stab wood!
    (Seriously, this is seriously dumb. We've taken a step back from Medieval 2 here.)

    Unfortunately, for Legio charge the gate in order to drive back my Levy and I become unable to move them. Sadly,
    Celtic Levy are about as brave as the Cowardly Lion on meth and thus they are cut down and flee. I decide to respond
    with a little bit of firepower.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Oh yeah. Yes, it will reduce my burning capabilities, but desperate times and all.
    I decide to target the archers, and as you can see the curve of this wall is very useful for doing
    such things. The following screenshot encapsulates the result.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    So much blood. I love it.

    Anyway, I move up another Celtic Levy in order to finish the job of stabbing the gate
    until it breaks, while my archers target the Legio that stands guide at the top of the sloping entrance.
    Of course, a tightly packed Roman Legion is begging for arrow fire, and I have the tool for the job.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Heavy Shot, as the screenshot shows, is far more effective against armoured foes.
    And as we all know, Romans are well armoured, likely to hide their puny, maniured nails
    and weak, pumice shined buttocks.

    All in all, my archers use every arrow on the Legio, to wonderful effect. The Equites are shattered
    and the Legio...well, you can see for yourself.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Pretty good. Naturally, there's only one unit can match the Legio in hand to hand combat.
    Come on up General and show these sons of dogs how the Celts roll!

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    And like that, the Legio shatters. Still, we have the enemy garrison commander hiding elsewhere and
    those annoying archer towers. I decide to send in some of my mercenary cav skirmishers to capture the towers.
    This leads to something extremely amusing.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 






    You read that right. With no way of burning the settlement, with one unit of cav I managed to make the enemy's OWN
    archer towers burn their city down. How I laughed when I realised this. I nearly destroyed my cav in the process
    but it was worth it.

    With such maluses, there was no way that the enemy general would last long. Sure enough, when my troops finally attacked, the result was swift and bloody.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Even our women got involved.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    And so the city fell and with it all of the province of Britania Superior. With one province in hand, where shall the Irish bands strike next? Find out next time,
    when we travel south to liberate the rest of the nation!

    Last edited by Lortano; August 18, 2017 at 11:46 AM.

  8. #8
    Caillagh de Bodemloze's Avatar to rede I me delyte
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    Default Re: An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle (Updated 05/02/16)

    They... burnt... their own city?!

    (Well, I suppose it's a bit of compensation for the 'blatant AI cheating'! )

    Looking forward to your adventures in whichever bit of Britannia you're heading to next. (I'm assuming you've actually just taken Britannia Inferior - rather than Britannia Superior - if you've just taken Eboracum?)






  9. #9
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: An Ebdanian AAR: With love from the Emerald Isle (Updated 05/02/16)

    Wow, I had no idea that mercenary cav skirmishers could cause that to happen. Hopefully that made up for the disappointing effects of your siege weapons on the gate. A very enjoyable chapter - I like the Wizard of Oz reference and look forward to more!

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