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Thread: The thread for horrible suggestions

  1. #521

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    In other news, BREAKING NEWS! I'm about to release my "Others" faction & northern invasion submod for EBII, featuring the permanent Night King faction leader with the Viserion Wight Dragon Bodyguard, and White Walker generals/family members with their White Walker Bodyguards, plus elite units of White Walker Noble Cavalry, Wight Infantry Swordsmen, Wight Infantry Spearmen, Wight Giants, Wight Direwolves, and Wight Elephants. They'll pop up on the campaign map in the region of Caledonia, threatening the Pritanoi faction first.
    “We considered adding Golden Company Elephants to the mercenary recruit pool, but removed them”

    I wanted those elephants...

  2. #522
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Krampus View Post
    “We considered adding Golden Company Elephants to the mercenary recruit pool, but removed them”

    I wanted those elephants...
    Cersei gets what she wants.

    https://i.stack.imgur.com/hHHuz.jpg


    To be honest, EBII is rather scandalous and inaccurate for ignoring flying elephants like Dumbo. How else do you think the Ptolemies were able to beat the Seleucids and their armored Indian elephants? I mean, duh!

  3. #523
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    EBII is so cheap, lame and non-historical for excluding the very obvious catapult-launched flaming flying carpets for the Taksashila faction, as they were used in ancient India and demonstrated here in this incredibly accurate Tollywood/Bollywood flick:


  4. #524
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    EBII is just a laughable pile of garbage for utterly failing to capture the undeniable historical realities of Greco-Roman deities singing down to Earth from the heavens (on the battle map, of course, during both sieges and field battles). The gods of the Greek pantheon should be able to appear in whatever form they prefer, such as Zeus transforming himself into an aging American cowboy in a ten gallon hat. Here is actual footage of Zeus appearing before the terrified denizens of the southwestern United States, sending ear-piercing screams as a harbinger of his menacing thunderbolts that he would unleash during the coming thunderstorm to the region:



    EDIT: also, whenever you fight against the Sweboz faction, this song has to play in the background on the battle map:


  5. #525

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Roma, how do you embed youtube links into your posts? really struggling with this:/

  6. #526

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    @Sarkiss


    Go to Youtube, find the link you want and copy everything after the equals sign.
    For example, in the "link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0bp32opLxI" you copy"k0bp32opLxI".

    When making a post, go to Advanced settings.
    Click on the Youtube icon, paste the stuff you copied in the middle of what pops up.

    Voilla.

    Last edited by Rad; May 10, 2019 at 03:01 PM.
    I recommend a pugio rather than a spear, because in close quarters combat, a dagger will serve you better than a spear.

    Rad, 2016.

  7. #527
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    These guys as a randomly occurring, recruit-able merc unit.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05c4pUDJGuU
    Last edited by Grimmy; June 01, 2019 at 04:01 PM. Reason: link fubar

  8. #528

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy View Post
    These guys as a randomly occurring, recruit-able merc unit.
    But this is the thread for horrible (=bad) ideas!

  9. #529

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    We should make it so that northern europeans (Gauls, Britons, Belgians and Germans) are capable of fielding decent quality soldiers and have a fighting chance against the Romans and other factions, not being the savage tribespeople that some of them were and not being ultimately unilaterally owned by the Romans in almost every single instance, in accordance to the Bellum Gallicum, even if they had terrain and numbers in their favor against the Latins, because it would be innacurate but very cool and edgy (and who cares about what Caesar has to say anyway, he was obviously just a liar like Herodotus, its all fake news you see! I for one think that Russia interfered with Caesar's reports).





    Oh wait.... wrong neighbourhood... *takes his leave with haste*
    Last edited by Achilles Lacedaemon; June 01, 2019 at 08:42 PM.

  10. #530
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    To recap some of the most excellent, awesome, tubular, and noteworthy suggestions throughout this thread and criticism of stupid awful no good very bad EBII for lacking them:

    * Dick Tracey wristwatches
    * Monster trucks
    * Dinosaurs
    * Modern tech and extraterrestrials
    * Autobots
    * Death metal and smooth jazz soundtracks
    * LOTR and Game of Thrones characters and units, such as Orcs and White Walkers
    * A full global expansion of the map so you can conquer not only the Qin and Han dynasties of China, but also Iron Age Japan and Olmec Mexico!
    * Pirates of the Caribbean, as well as Captain Hook
    * Terminator cyborgs sent back from the future
    * Bill & Ted as time machine travelers
    * Marvel and DC Comics characters
    * US Presidents like Clinton, Bush, Obama, and Trump as generals or indeed entire units with their faces
    * Pokemon and Pikachu
    * Vikings
    * Medieval knights
    * Samurai
    * Kung Fu Shaolin Monks
    * Flaming pigs, war hounds, and anachronistic Bronze Age Egyptian units from RTW

    Did I miss anything? One of my personal favorites was including Syria's dictator Bashar al-Assad for the proposed Syrian Archers:



    Also, I should be able to destroy the Temple of Jerusalem and build a Gulf State Arab-owned Casino, Hotel, and Resort in its place:



    Additionally, there should be a campaign map quest where Hannibal and Scipio accost each other at the nightclub in Syracuse, Sicily, where they didn't expect to see each other, leading to a drunken brawl and the bouncers throwing them out into the street for them to finish their business elsewhere, like at Zama.


  11. #531

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    How come we don't have dedicated Indian siege assault units?

    It's historical af, bruh.

    I recommend a pugio rather than a spear, because in close quarters combat, a dagger will serve you better than a spear.

    Rad, 2016.

  12. #532
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    How come we don't have dedicated Indian siege assault units?

    It's historical af, bruh.

    EBII keeps dropping the ball over and over again, it's pathetic! Forget the Lithobolos and the Onager, we should have had twenty artillery units by now utilizing palm trees that catapult Indian soldiers behind the walls of fortified settlements. Come on guys, this is basic level history stuff, right up there with Ancient Aliens, Marco Polo introducing pasta to Italy, Vikings wearing horned helmets, Nero playing the fiddle at a concert while Rome burned, Egyptian pharaohs using slaves to build the Giza Pyramids, and the young George Washington cutting down the cherry tree at Mount Vernon and being honest about it to his father.

    Also, why are Celts wearing anything over their torsos at all? I thought this mod was supposed to be historically accurate! ALL CELTS WERE BARE-CHESTED AT ALL TIMES! Google it, it's true. Don't @ me. Also, where is Cleopatra VII Philopator of the Ptolemaic dynasty and why isn't she a black Nubian goddess riding a panther Dionysus style?

  13. #533

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    add syrbia pls

  14. #534
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roadworx View Post
    add syrbia pls
    Agreed. It really is a travesty that EBII has utterly failed to incorporate Serbs, Croats, and Kosovo Albanians and all their various units. And accordions! Where are the accordions!


  15. #535

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    Agreed. It really is a travesty that EBII has utterly failed to incorporate Serbs, Croats, and Kosovo Albanians and all their various units. And accordions! Where are the accordions!
    I agree; South Slavonic peoples with should be incorporated no matter how anachronistic that may be. And either with accordeons or not at all. Albanians, however, are in all likelihood already represented in the game as Illyrians. Just be careful not to suggest the removal of any delicacies from the game.

  16. #536

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    How come we don't have dedicated Indian siege assault units?

    It's historical af, bruh.

    Oh my god, what is that?

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