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Thread: The thread for horrible suggestions

  1. #501
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    Why is this a horrible suggestion?
    One man's horrible suggestion is another man's treasure.



    I say that the Celtiberian faction should have nothing but units that resemble the face of Clara Alonso, while the Lusitani faction should have nothing but units of Amazonian warrior women with face models based on that of the real life Spanish supermodel Alejandra Alonso (no relation to Clara):

    https://i.imgur.com/rVy6h1N.jpg


    You spent far too much time playing Greek factions
    What's that supposed to mean? This non-sequitur...how does it even follow the previous statement? Anyways, I'm currently playing as the Romans in an 800-turn campaign.

    Quote Originally Posted by BasilHawkins View Post
    the next patch should bring the gods faction with ufos instead of navy.. aliens from other worlds that inspired humans in various ways and build the pyramids of gizeh
    Ancient Aliens is definitely missing from the mod, a huge oversight indeed! Clearly the Romans, Carthaginians, and Greeks all require eventual military reforms based on extraterrestrial technology inherited from beings who came from other planets.

    Quote Originally Posted by Baharr View Post
    I think you guys should take a leaf out of TW:Three Kingdoms' book and include an alternative EBII based on "myths" or historical misconceptions. Brendan Fraser Mummy-style Egyptians, Roman Arcani ninjas, dumbed-down barbarian factions, maybe some sort of giant animated Colossus-style unit for the Greeks, a brand-new Parthian roster inspired by the movie 300, etc.
    Basically just have a mod that's a recreation of vanilla Rome: Total War then, including screeching women, war hounds, and fire pigs. That would be...

    https://i.imgur.com/5szj885.jpg

  2. #502

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Hello. I don't know where to pu this: could someone give me the export_descr_buildings.txt from 2.35 ? I made a mistake and now can't find the original file... Thanks !

  3. #503
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaskad View Post
    Hello. I don't know where to pu this: could someone give me the export_descr_buildings.txt from 2.35 ? I made a mistake and now can't find the original file... Thanks !
    Son, you done put this in the wrong thread now, you hear? You shoulda put this in a far more relevant thread of substance. Instead, you done come to the wrong damn neighborhood. Boy, you in a lot of trouble now. Don't you try to run now, boy, and don't you try to fight it. You just hold perfectly still and it'll all be over very soon. Don't make it harder than it need to be, you hear now?


  4. #504
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Every time there's an earthquake, this meme by yours truly about Poseidon/Neptune should show up on the screen:


  5. #505
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Since Jesus is born within the timeframe of the game (end of the reign of Augustus in 14 AD), the game needs a feature where Jesus leads a rebellion in Judea and trashes the local economy by kicking all the merchants out of the temple, with a machine gun, Jesus Christ Super Star style.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/fakehistory...the_merchants/

  6. #506
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Every time you play a siege battle on the battle map, moments of melee should be underscored by not only death metal but also New York style hardcore music in the background as your troops and the enemy form a mosh pit, everyone's headbanging, and a stage suddenly appears in the central square with the band playing using modern sound equipment.


  7. #507

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Wait, I have a potentially decent horrible suggestion. How would you guys feel about the Wilhelm scream making it into the combat soundscape?

  8. #508

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Oh, man. Playing a version of EBII combining just Roma Victricis suggestions would undoubtedly make for a very different experience compared to the vanilla modification. Perhaps not as as true to history and thus less suited for learning about mankind's past, but definitely a thought-provoking and memorable pastime.

  9. #509
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Baharr View Post
    Wait, I have a potentially decent horrible suggestion. How would you guys feel about the Wilhelm scream making it into the combat soundscape?
    That's like in nearly every action movie. Seriously, though, it should be in every battle of EBII as well!

    Quote Originally Posted by Septentrionalis View Post
    Oh, man. Playing a version of EBII combining just Roma Victricis suggestions would undoubtedly make for a very different experience compared to the vanilla modification. Perhaps not as as true to history and thus less suited for learning about mankind's past, but definitely a thought-provoking and memorable pastime.
    Thank you kindly!

  10. #510

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Just rename it Stainless Steel, to mess with the normies.

  11. #511
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rudyo View Post
    Just rename it Stainless Steel, to mess with the normies.
    This man thinks outside the box. I like it.

    Also, Brak from Space Ghost, Coast to Coast should be able to sing songs on the battle map following every victory scroll, in honor of your triumph over the enemy.


  12. #512
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Cleopatra VII Philopator should be a princess agent on the battle map.


  13. #513

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    I couldn't even finish one episode of the first season, let alone dive into the second season. At least HBO Rome tried to be historically authentic despite using its own fabrications and flexibility to play with the historical narrative. And they got the costumes, armor, and armaments down very accurately, unlike this dumpster fire on Netflix.
    Looks like the dumpster fire on Netflix has got a third season now! Has anyone actually watched it, and is it a travesty like the second season?

    To make this discussion on-topic, let us say say that suggesting someone to watch the previous seasons, particularly the second one, or to base any feature of the mod on them would be an incredibly horrible suggestion.

    Edit: I am referring to the Netflix series "Roman Empire", that is not only blatantly misleading its viewers but also makes it look like the fabricated elements are backed by historical accounts and research.
    Last edited by Septentrionalis; April 16, 2019 at 11:49 AM.

  14. #514
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Every time those accursed Punic Carthaginians invade Roman Italy on the campaign map, the following meme "Carthago delenda est" involving Hannibal Buress from The Eric Andre Show should pop up in a message scroll:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/RoughRomanM...o_delenda_est/

    Ridiculum.

    Quote Originally Posted by Septentrionalis View Post
    Looks like the dumpster fire on Netflix has got a third season now! Has anyone actually watched it, and is it a travesty like the second season?

    To make this discussion on-topic, let us say say that suggesting someone to watch the previous seasons, particularly the second one, or to base any feature of the mod on them would be an incredibly horrible suggestion.

    Edit: I am referring to the Netflix series "Roman Empire", that is not only blatantly misleading its viewers but also makes it look like the fabricated elements are backed by historical accounts and research.
    Now THAT'S a horrible suggestion! I'm on board! Make it happen.

  15. #515

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I don't know if I wrote it here before...

    Polybolos.

  16. #516
    Lusitanio's Avatar Content Staff
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Sar1n View Post

    Polybolos.
    Well, I don't know what Polybolos means but because in portuguese "bolos" means cakes, I immediately thought you were talking about some tipe of catapult/throwing engine that throws cakes at people

  17. #517

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lusitanio View Post
    Well, I don't know what Polybolos means but because in portuguese "bolos" means cakes, I immediately thought you were talking about some tipe of catapult/throwing engine that throws cakes at people
    Hah. That actually fits this thread. A cake throwing ballista, compete with clown crew.

    Seriously though, polybolos was a repeating ballista that was in RTW. Plans of the mechanism surived from antiquity, so it's not unthinkable that it was sometimes used, although the complexity meant it was prone to breakdowns.

  18. #518
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    The polybolos isn't such a bad suggestion, since the ancient Greeks actually invented and allegedly used it in battle, much like how the smaller ancient Chinese repeating crossbow from the Warring States period known as the Lian nu (連弩) was used in China.

    In other news, BREAKING NEWS! I'm about to release my "Others" faction & northern invasion submod for EBII, featuring the permanent Night King faction leader with the Viserion Wight Dragon Bodyguard, and White Walker generals/family members with their White Walker Bodyguards, plus elite units of White Walker Noble Cavalry, Wight Infantry Swordsmen, Wight Infantry Spearmen, Wight Giants, Wight Direwolves, and Wight Elephants. They'll pop up on the campaign map in the region of Caledonia, threatening the Pritanoi faction first.


  19. #519

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    nerf white walker noble cavalry next patch pls
    I recommend a pugio rather than a spear, because in close quarters combat, a dagger will serve you better than a spear.

    Rad, 2016.

  20. #520
    Lusitanio's Avatar Content Staff
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    In other news, BREAKING NEWS! I'm about to release my "Others" faction & northern invasion submod for EBII, featuring the permanent Night King faction leader with the Viserion Wight Dragon Bodyguard, and White Walker generals/family members with their White Walker Bodyguards, plus elite units of White Walker Noble Cavalry, Wight Infantry Swordsmen, Wight Infantry Spearmen, Wight Giants, Wight Direwolves, and Wight Elephants. They'll pop up on the campaign map in the region of Caledonia, threatening the Pritanoi faction first.
    Is this for real?

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