The thread for horrible suggestions

[Roma_Victrix]

That means map has to be extended to Americas, so we can retrieve the device from which can be derived Kull disruptor.

Of course, this means fighting zombified Aztecs.

Does that mean an alliance must be struck first with the dinosaur Texlacans and the hipster Huaxtec, if the zombie Aztecs are to be fully destroyed?

[Wolf Priest]

How about when you take Byzantion, it changes name to Konstantinopolis, get it as a new capital and you cede 7 Italian cities to new faction. It might sound too OP, but you can't recruit outside Italy (except Free city recruitment, but that is more of a technicality), so its balanced. Its my first post in this tread, but I will try to keep suggestions that are actually possible to script/add. Its no fun for me otherwise.

[Roma_Victrix]

New mercenary units: there should be an entire unit of angry women who throw purses, an entire unit of just angry swarming bees, and another unit made up of medieval Crusaders.

[Baharr]

Three new potential emergent factions should be added to the Palestinian lands: Judea, the People's Front of Judea, and the Judean People's Front

[Roma_Victrix]

Three new potential emergent factions should be added to the Palestinian lands: Judea, the People's Front of Judea, and the Judean People's Front

Agreed, but where's the Popular Front of Judea? Is that him sitting over there?

SPLITTER!

[Roma_Victrix]

Donald Trump is pissed at you guys, and very disappointed, so you better do what he says and appease the POTUS by adding a bunch of heroically nude units of Greeks fighting everyone, and naked Amazon ladies with big bouncy breasts that you can zoom in on while fighting on the battle map.

[Ngugi]

Please add Finnish Rakes-merc's to fight the flames of war

[Roma_Victrix]

Please add Finnish Rakes-merc's to fight the flames of war

This mod has not enough minerals and not enough rakes. We need dedicated rake-wielding infantry to clear the forests and prepare against forest fires, because only you can prevent forest fires and peaceful alliances from breaking down among the Hellenistic polities of the 3rd century BC.

Also, EBII needs to hire the guy who narrated this video pronto! He has the best pronunciations of Hellenistic Greek names, better than the Greeks themselves! For instance, the Greek title "Philopator" (Φιλοπάτωρ, Philopátōr) becomes "Fill-oh-pa-tore" in a heavily 'Donatello from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' narration style. His narration should pervade everything and overwhelm the sound effects and music on the campaign map, the only escape from which should be the battle map or the main menu.

[hlidskjalf]

thought you guys would find this funny.. wasn't sure where else to put it

[Sar1n]

thought you guys would find this funny.. wasn't sure where else to put it

Cohors Spartiatai. I'm surprised nobody suggested before.

[20ninescene]

Model the gaesatae after gay porn stars and give them... huge ***** and 'special' animations
And as modesty option we should give them jockstraps instead of loincloths.

Also I suggest to give their standard bearer a banner with an erected ***** for the sake of historical accuracy!

[Genava]

Model the gaesatae after gay porn stars and give them... huge ***** and 'special' animations
And as modesty option we should give them jockstraps instead of loincloths.

Also I suggest to give their standard bearer a banner with an erected ***** for the sake of historical accuracy!

If EBII was directed by the BBC or Netflix, it could have been a possibility.

[Sar1n]

When we're at it...since we have Gaisatoi then, for the sake of diversity, we also need Lesbsatoi.

[20ninescene]

@Sar1n Yes when lesbos revolts it should spawn a huge army of naked lesbians! Totally historically accurate!

[Genghis Skahn]

If EBII was directed by the BBC or Netflix, it could have been a possibility.

Don't forget HBO!

[Roma_Victrix]

OMG, you guys, these suggestions are FANTASTIC! Why hasn't EBII implemented them already. I mean, HELLO? Earth to EBII. You guys are dropping the ball and it's just pathetic. Boo! EBII doesn't even have flaming arrows yet or any of the weapons of the gods that existed in antiquity. Where the hell is Hermes with his Caduceus and winged shoes? Hmm? Where is Poseidon with his trident and Zeus with his golden shield and thunderbolts tossed like pila javelins? I'm waiting, EBII. Can't wait to hear your excuses this time!

[Kull]

Where the hell is Hermes with his Caduceus and winged shoes? Hmm? Where is Poseidon with his trident and Zeus with his golden shield and thunderbolts tossed like pila javelins? I'm waiting, EBII. Can't wait to hear your excuses this time!

Ummmmm.....not enough unit slots??

[Sar1n]

Ummmmm.....not enough unit slots??

Make room then. Who needs Cohors Reformata or Phalangitai anyway....

[Roma_Victrix]

Make room then. Who needs Cohors Reformata or Phalangitai anyway....

I think Poseidon wielding a trident is far more necessary than Thureophoroi, who can just be replaced wholesale with various units made up of deities with a few mythological helpers. Who needs Thorakitai when you can just have the Heracles reforms, after which Heracles himself can be recruited, swinging a giant club to batter your enemies?

[Sint]

How about it a few years after the original team has moved on a new team releases a patch(maybe led by a former submod team) for this mod that adds or replaces a bunch of units and add changes to the mod that were never supposed to be in it and clash with the original design and maybe even mess up the animations for serveral units?And yes I'm referencing something.