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Thread: The thread for horrible suggestions

  1. #221
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post


    I know, right? Good point, Daenerys. Where are all the dragons? Why hasn't the EB II team incorporated the dragons into the game yet? Are they just being slow? Incompetent? How dare they not include such a pivotal unit into the game. Shame on you guys.

    I, vaguely, recall reading about a Roman legion being involved in a fight with a dragon. They also, iirc, sent the skin back to Rome as proof.

    Edited to add:

    Ha! found something.

    https://answersingenesis.org/dinosau...ind-the-tales/
    The Roman historian Cassius Dio recounted how a Roman army once killed a dragon. The original fragment from Book 11 of his Roman History, now lost, was repeated by John of Damascus (AD ~676–749), in his book On Dragons and Ghosts: “One day, when Regulus, a Roman consul, was fighting against Carthage, a dragon suddenly crept up and settled behind the wall of the Roman army. The Romans killed it by order of Regulus, skinned it and sent the hide to the Roman senate. When the dragon’s hide, as Dio says, was measured by order of the senate, it happened to be, amazingly, one hundred and twenty feet long, and the thickness was fitting to the length.”

    That's not to an academic certainty, but it's on the internet so it must be true.

    Rome fights dragons, therefore, dragons should be in the game.

  2. #222

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    But what about Trolls? Any mention of them? We need the ancients' knowledge to combat them. Their numbers in the forum grow by the day.
    Last edited by Rad; June 29, 2016 at 05:27 PM.
    I recommend a pugio rather than a spear, because in close quarters combat, a dagger will serve you better than a spear.

    Rad, 2016.

  3. #223
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    But what about Trolls? Any mention of them? We need the ancients' knowledge to combat them. Their numbers in the forum grow by the day.
    Random chance of battle against troll infestation every time a bridge is crossed!

    Edited to add:

    Nearly forgot. There'd need to be an pet companion named Billy "Goat" Gruff that could be gained from such battles which gives bonuii when caught on a bridge by trolls.
    Last edited by Grimmy; June 29, 2016 at 06:45 PM.

  4. #224
    Boogie Knight's Avatar Biarchus
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy View Post
    I, vaguely, recall reading about a Roman legion being involved in a fight with a dragon. They also, iirc, sent the skin back to Rome as proof.
    That was some form of giant serpent in Africa, wasn't it?

    Here's another "horrible" suggestion for Pritanoi. A fourth option for captured troops; Release, Ransom, Enslave and Wicker Man.

  5. #225
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! ANYTHING BUT THE BEES IN EUROPA BARBARORUM!!!!!

    Same goes for Nicholas Cage.

  6. #226
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I deleted all my Tumblr stuff, so if you still want to see those silly photoshops I did, here they are at my Imgur account: http://imgur.com/a/TB7pj




  7. #227

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    War elephants with flamethrower trunks. There's no historical evidence proving they didn't exist!

  8. #228

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    War elephants with flamethrower trunks. There's no historical evidence proving they didn't exist!
    Been advocating this for years now--they were the inspiration for mythic fire breathing dragons, obviously. Very upset to see this highly historical war mount not in game -3.14/10, would not calculate the circumference of EBII's circle again.

  9. #229
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    War elephants with flamethrower trunks. There's no historical evidence proving they didn't exist!
    Ahah! Checkmate! Take that EB II history researchers! Where are the reindeer and unicorn cavalry? There's absolutely no evidence to suggest that they didn't exist either.

  10. #230
    Ngugi's Avatar TATW & Albion Local Mod
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions



    In fact, thanks to our North Korean comrades, we know unicorns existed for four years now.
    Only a petty, revisionistic game has the gall to hold it from us historically inclined gamers.

    Kingdom of Lindon preview video out





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  11. #231

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Roma_Victrix, I just googled it, and we actually know for a fact they existed, because:
    The unicorn was depicted in ancient seals of the Indus Valley Civilization and was mentioned by the ancient Greeks in accounts of natural history by various writers, including Ctesias, Strabo, Pliny the Younger, and Aelian.
    With so much evidence their existence can't be denied.
    Hence my next suggestion: Unicorn kataphracts.

    Also:

  12. #232

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I recommend a pugio rather than a spear, because in close quarters combat, a dagger will serve you better than a spear.

    Rad, 2016.

  13. #233
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    Nice. They should be countered by Roman lacrosse players.

  14. #234

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    Nice. They should be countered by Roman lacrosse players.
    Nah, Romans go for the overkill. The MG 42 AD heavy weapons team I showed you earlier is more of their style.
    I recommend a pugio rather than a spear, because in close quarters combat, a dagger will serve you better than a spear.

    Rad, 2016.

  15. #235
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Whenever you conquer every inch of the Mediterranean Sea or every inch of Atlantic coast, this is the video that should play in a pop up scroll:



    And after that, a new reform event will occur in which all your units are equipped with 90s-era Grunge rocker dude chain wallets like this guy's wearing.

  16. #236

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I would totally pay for a zombie plague in the end-game.

  17. #237

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    You're in luck!
    The team just sent me an image from one of their latest unit concepts!



    Naturally, you will have to meet certain conditions to trigger the reform - hold 50 provinces, have an FM who is Mad, Paranoid and Studies the Occult. He also has to travel north, fight at least 5 battles against the Sc... Sweboz and get a big freaking sword as an ancillary.
    I recommend a pugio rather than a spear, because in close quarters combat, a dagger will serve you better than a spear.

    Rad, 2016.

  18. #238

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I keep telling you guys the Evil Dead update isn't coming for another long while!!!

    And the Eternal Darkness tweaks are even further off

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU264IWNtKM
    Last edited by Genghis Skahn; August 06, 2016 at 06:05 AM.

  19. #239

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Oh my god, Army of Darkness: Total War.

  20. #240
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Once you gain the Archimedes ancillary, you should be able to build armies of mechanical soldiers.

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