The thread for horrible suggestions

[Cleitus the Pink]

Roman Devotio Ritual: There is an option to have the Roman general perform a "devotio" ritual if they are on the edge of losing the battle. Upon clicking, the Roman body guard unit goes berserk and if the general manages to get himself killed AKA "devoted", every Roman unit will get a morale and attack boost for the rest of the battle.
This mechanic will TOTALLY not be exploited by the player at all, of course.

[Shoebopp]

Here's a screenshot of a Roman campaign from my submod for EBII 2.35a called "The Furry of Hannibal"







As you can see, the campaign AI has been drastically improved, and now it makes fair and balanced deals. Send me a message on how to script the AI and I'll ignore it

[ntabc2001]

Our council advises to decline their offer politely, we believe there will be a better deal. (Bullsh t Art of Negotiation)

[realm56]

Our council advises to decline their offer politely, we believe there will be a better deal. (Bullsh t Art of Negotiation)

So it begins...

[Roma_Victrix]

Here's a screenshot of a Roman campaign from my submod for EBII 2.35a called "The Furry of Hannibal"







As you can see, the campaign AI has been drastically improved, and now it makes fair and balanced deals. Send me a message on how to script the AI and I'll ignore it

Our council advises to decline their offer politely, we believe there will be a better deal. (Bullsh t Art of Negotiation)

So it begins...

This thread continues to bear fruit, I see. That's +1 rep to you, Shoe.

I feel as though this game is sorely lacking in middle fingers and flipping the bird in diplomatic negotiation scrolls. I find the lack of it disturbing! EBII team needs to hop on that right away. Would also be good if after every successful negotiation a bunch of Monty Python's Holy Grail style horns started blaring triumphantly in ear-splitting audio much, much louder than the music settings in the game, a volume which the player cannot control or even mute without ripping the power cord out of their desktop PC or slamming their laptop shut to close everything down.

[Spartocos Leukonovich]

I propose a motion ! To put this message on turn 1000 of Roman campaign. To envelope our egos in imperial SWAG. For your Enjoyment senators !


Lucius Carruthius: Patricius, thanks so much for looking after Cornelia. Ad Galinas Alba, how impressive! How on earth did you get an audince there?

Patricius Batemanus: Blessing of Fortuna, I guess.

Lucius Carruthius: That's a wonderful toga. Let me guess, Valentino Sartoria?

Patricius Batemanus : Uh huh.

Lucius Carruthius (Reaching out to touch it): It looks so soft.

Patricius Batemanus (Catching Lucius hand): Your compliment was sufficient Lucius.

Paulus Allenorix enters, carrying the Ius Latinorum scroll under his arm. He is handsome, supremely confident and self-satisfied..

Allenorix (to Batemanus): Hello, Halberstamm. Nice toga. By Eponas how are you?

Patricius Batemanus: I've been great. And you?

Patricius Batemanus (V.O.): Allenorix has mistaken me for this fallus Alberic Halberstamm. It seems logical because Alberic, was Romanized, clean shaven, and in fact he also has a penchant for Valentino togas. Alberic and I even go to the same barber, although I have a slightly better haircut.

Paulus Allenorix: How's the Ransom for Arminius wife going, Alberic?

Patricius Batemanus (nervous): It's...it's...all right.

Paulus Allenorix: Really? That's interesting. Not great?

Patricius Batemanus : Oh well, you know.

Paulus Allenorix: And how's Cecilia? She's a great domina.

Patricius Batemannus: Oh yes..

Dermotius and Pricellus enter.

Dermotius: Hey. Allenorix! Jupiter bless you, and your gallic auxiliaries on protecting Moesia Inferior against Sauromatae raids.

Paulus Allenorix: Vae Victis.

Pricellus: Listen, Allenorix. Ludi Romani?

Paulus Allenorix: Send me dispatch.

Pricellus : How about dies Veneris?

Paulus Allenorix: No can do. Got invited to Ad Galinas Alba at Crepusculum. Great sea urchin ceviche.

There is a stunned silence as he walks away and sits in a corner of the room, ostentatiously studying scrolls.

Patricius Batemannus face, shines cold with hatred.

Pricellus (whispering): Divus Iulius, Ad Galinas Alba? On a dies Veneris at Crepusculun ? How'd he swing that?

Dermotius (whispering): I think he's lying.

Patricius Batemannus opens his toga and shows lorica squamata.

Pricellus (suddenly enthused): What's that, a panoplia?

Patricius Batemannus: New lorica squamata. What do you think?

Dermotius lifts it up and examines the lettering carefully.

Dermotius: Whoa. Very nice. Take a look.

He moves away from Batemanus, and obstruct look of Alberic Halberstamm no longer.

Patricius Batemanus: Picked it up from armamentarium yesterday.

Alberic Halberstamm: Good shining.

Patricius Batemannus: That's bone. And the inscription is saying Carthago Delenda Est in Punic Lettering.

Dermotius (envious): Punic lettering?

Marcus Patiennus silently approaches.

Marcus Patiennus: It is very cool,Patricius Batemannus. But that's nothing.

He opens his toga praetexta and shows silver shinning lorica musculata.

Marcus Patiennus: Look at this.

They all lean forward to inspect it.

Pricellus: That's really nice.

Batemannus clenches his fists beneath the table, trying to control his anxiety.

Marcus Patiennus: Argentum coating ! with Tifinagh lettering !

(Turning to Batemannus)

What do you think?

Patricius Batemannus (barely able to breathe, his voice a croak): Nice.

Pricellus (inspecting lorica musculata of Patiennus): Divus Ivlivs. This is really superb. How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful?

Batemannus stares at his lorica and then enviously at Patiennus.

Batemannus (V.O.): I can't believe that Pricellus prefers Patiennus lorica to mine.

Pricellus: But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

He opens up his toga and shows lorica segmentata.

Pricellus: Aegyptian hieroglyphs, pale nimbus white...

Batemannus (choking with anxiety): Impressive. Very nice. Let's see Allenorix panoplia !.

Allenorix overhears, pulls his toga and shows his lorica plumata with inscriptions in pure Latin: "Paulus Allenorix Leg III Gallica, ala auxilica Haeduica." Batemannus swallows, speechless. The sound in the room dies down and all we hear is a faint heartbeat as Batemannus stares at the magnificent lorica plumata.

Batemannus (V.O.): Look at that subtle off-silver shinning. The tasteful thickness of it. By Jupiter Optimus Maximus, it even has a horses of Epona on the chest piece...

Batemannus stares at it .His hand shaking.

Lucius Carruthius: Is something wrong? Patricius...you're sweating.

[Roma_Victrix]

Awesome! Roman Psycho starring the thespian stage performer Christianus Balus Britannicus is one of my favorite movies! That's +1 rep to you.

[Spartocos Leukonovich]

Awesome! Roman Psycho starring the thespian stage performer Christianus Balus Britannicus is one of my favorite movies! That's +1 rep to you.

Did you know he works in caedes and supplicium branch. He also hates Galli because finds sound of carnyx distasteful. True optimas ! Also he has a slightly better tonsus.

[ntabc2001]

delete all faction, except Eleutheroi. Also put some computer viruses in directory folder, and instructions in Player Guide.