The thread for horrible suggestions

[RodriguesSting]

A Celtic version of the Thureophoroi and Thorakitai.

[Roma_Victrix]

Nonsense! We need a Hellenistic Greek version of the Celtic Arkoi elite swordsmen if anything and on top of that a Germanic Sweboz version of the Pontic Bodyguard unit.

[RodriguesSting]

Hey guys, Pater Graefus here. I am L.O.L-ing (Laughing Out Loud) out loud at the joke I made. You see, a Celtic version of the Tureophoroi or Thorakitai would be completely pointless, as the thureos shield and mailed shirt (thorakitai) are already part of the Celitc panoply, which the Gr*ekoid frauds copied, just like they copied Roman architecture and philosophy. Anyway, this is also the apropriate place, as it would be a terrible suggestion indeed! Very epic guys, and keep having safe fun! And furthermore, DELENDA EST GRAECIA.

[Roma_Victrix]

[Pater Graefus slowly turns to camera and speaks one word to the Greek ambassador from the Achaean League]: "ROADHOUSE."

[Roma_Victrix]

Michael Bloomberg should be made president of EBII, but without a formal election, more like a coronation where you don't get to choose otherwise.

[Slaytaninc]

That's it, the worst EB2 suggestion possible. We can close the thread now.

[Roma_Victrix]

That's it, the worst EB2 suggestion possible. We can close the thread now.

EBII's newly anointed God Emperor and Supreme Generalissimo Michael Bloomberg to you, Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg and yes even Donald Trump:

[Roma_Victrix]

There is a huge units submod, but why isn't there a huge officer and huge family member/general mod? Where the officers/standard bearers and leading generals are not only numerous but massive and six feet (2 meters) taller than the other soldiers who aren't getting as much protein in their diet.

[Alex_TotalWar]

Incendiary Elephants.

Set them on fire, and watch them trample everything.
Cause terror.

[Sar1n]

Incendiary Elephants.

Set them on fire, and watch them trample everything.
Cause terror.

Prone to exploding randomly due to large amount of methane produced by their digestive tract.

[RodriguesSting]

A new tier for the Druid trait line, just straight up called "necromancer".

[Sar1n]

A new tier for the Druid trait line, just straight up called "necromancer".

Ah, yes, source of the infamous celto-necrotic warriors.

[Roma_Victrix]

This game is a complete embarrassment if it fails to deliver us the authentic realism of the time period with exploding elephants and Druids using sorcery to raise fallen Celtic warriors from the dead to fight once more in an undying, reanimated state.

[Roma_Victrix]

Campaign map updates should include messages by Alex Jones informing us about the latest developments on the Coronavirus pandemic and what we as citizens of this great nation, the USA, can do about the satanists who control the government - with the exception of Trump, because he's our guy, not one of the globalists!

[Roma_Victrix]

In honor of that M2TW mod where every soldier either had a face of Barack Obama versus John McCain, EBII should replace
*the face of every Roman soldier with that of US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt,
*the face of every Carthaginian with that of Adolf Hitler,
*the face of every Makedonian with that of Joseph Stalin,
*the face of every Seleucid soldier with that of Japanese Emperor Hirohito,
*and last but not least the face of every Koinon Hellenon Greek soldier with that of Winston Churchill.

[Shoebopp]

Make the Seleucids a horde faction. After decades of fighting, right as you thought you took the last Seleucid settlement multiple stacks of Thorakitai Epilektoi, Hypaspitai, Peltestai Makedones, Hetairoi, Chariots, and Cataphract Elephants appear and descend upon your empire.

[RodriguesSting]

Make the game force a CTD on the two hour warning. Can't risk people playing too long, might harm their vision.

[Satapatiš]

Every time when you win a heroic victory as Pahlava and the general is not FL or FH, and has more influence than FL, the game autokills your general.

[Roma_Victrix]

Every time when you win a heroic victory as Pahlava and the general is not FL or FH, and has more influence than FL, the game autokills your general.

Ouch. Now I feel bad for Surena. Orodes II couldn't have anyone upstaging him.

Make the Seleucids a horde faction. After decades of fighting, right as you thought you took the last Seleucid settlement multiple stacks of Thorakitai Epilektoi, Hypaspitai, Peltestai Makedones, Hetairoi, Chariots, and Cataphract Elephants appear and descend upon your empire.

This is a most worthy idea! Those stacks should also include new units of Central Asiatic Xiongnu horse archers who can only be defeated by other horse archers as they are too fast for most cavalry to chase them down.

Make the game force a CTD on the two hour warning. Can't risk people playing too long, might harm their vision.

The two hour warning should also include a harsh scolding message about the immorality, laziness and ineptitude of the player, just before the CTD.

[Satapatiš]

Dual-wielding Spendonetai Epilektoi. The game needs them.