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Thread: The thread for horrible suggestions

  1. #541
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Every battle in this game should include explosions and be directed by acclaimed filmmaker, producer and director Michael Bay.

  2. #542
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I checked the FAQ but I couldn't find any info on it.

    Which building do I have to build to upgrade my Roman troops to having laser beams on their heads?

    Also, after I build roads, I should be able to upgrade my infantry to "Moterized". Otherwise, what's the point of having roads?

  3. #543
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I know right? Like HELLO, EBII team? Anyone home? Where are the interstate highway systems? How do you think the Romans got around so quickly without cars? Jeez.

  4. #544
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    I know right? Like HELLO, EBII team? Anyone home? Where are the interstate highway systems? How do you think the Romans got around so quickly without cars? Jeez.
    Without cars? What do you mean? I've been to Rome... well, seen movies set in Rome anyway. They've got cars. And scooters.

  5. #545
    Ἀπολλόδοτος Α΄ ὁ Σωτήρ's Avatar Yeah science!
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    I know right? Like HELLO, EBII team? Anyone home? Where are the interstate highway systems? How do you think the Romans got around so quickly without cars? Jeez.
    Modern historians now claim that these highway systems are clearly an improved imitation, like so many of "Roman inventions", of the Old Germanic Autobahn, the Ur-Bahn. I would also like to suggest that Sweboz be given a new type of ship, the Ur-boat.
    "First get your facts straight, then distort them at your leisure." - Mark Twain

    οὐκ ἦν μὲν ἐγώ, νῦν δ' εἰμί τότε δ' ούκ ἔσομαι, ούδέ μοι μελήσει

  6. #546
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Ἀπολλόδοτος Α΄ ὁ Σωτήρ View Post
    Modern historians now claim that these highway systems are clearly an improved imitation, like so many of "Roman inventions", of the Old Germanic Autobahn, the Ur-Bahn. I would also like to suggest that Sweboz be given a new type of ship, the Ur-boat.
    The word Urban is probably derived from Ur-Bahn.

    There! Etymological proof!

    Where's my honorary doctorate and big dollar lecturing fees at?

  7. #547
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy View Post
    Without cars? What do you mean? I've been to Rome... well, seen movies set in Rome anyway. They've got cars. And scooters.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ἀπολλόδοτος Α΄ ὁ Σωτήρ View Post
    Modern historians now claim that these highway systems are clearly an improved imitation, like so many of "Roman inventions", of the Old Germanic Autobahn, the Ur-Bahn. I would also like to suggest that Sweboz be given a new type of ship, the Ur-boat.
    If there aren't cars, scooters, old autobahn Ur-Bahns, Ur-Boats, and sharks with freaking laser beams attached to their heads in the next release, then we riot. Who's with me?

  8. #548
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    If there aren't cars, scooters, old autobahn Ur-Bahns, Ur-Boats, and sharks with freaking laser beams attached to their heads in the next release, then we riot. Who's with me?
    Me!

    Btw, in case it matters for planning and duty assignments, over the long and many years, I think I've added enough useless mass to my body to serve as a one man shiltron if we just make a suit of shields for me to wear.

    As a shiltron, I don't have to do a lot of running around, right? Just kind of stand there and slowly spin in place? Like I was sitting on an office swivel chair, which I'll bring, of course.

  9. #549
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy View Post
    Me!

    Btw, in case it matters for planning and duty assignments, over the long and many years, I think I've added enough useless mass to my body to serve as a one man shiltron if we just make a suit of shields for me to wear.

    As a shiltron, I don't have to do a lot of running around, right? Just kind of stand there and slowly spin in place? Like I was sitting on an office swivel chair, which I'll bring, of course.
    Look at you, one man shiltron! I like it. We need good fighting men like you who think quick on their feet with this kind of creativity. You're like a monkey ready to be shot out into space. How would you like to join Project Mayhem? Our little sub-mod of the entire EBII mod.

    First rule of Project Mayhem, though, is that you don't talk about Project Mayhem. Our little secret.


  10. #550
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Baloney with mayhem. My favorite sandwich.

  11. #551
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    People keep talking about how historically accurate this mod is.

    Well then, what about all the historical references to how noisy and chaotic the battlefields of that age were?

    What creates noise and chaos on a tactical battlefields? That's right. Hand Grenades!

    And yet, no hand grenades or grenadiers in game.

    And the game has armored units. What's the proper and only weapon to confront armor? Especially mobile armor like Armored Cav?

    That's right. Anti-Armor Guided Missiles.

    And yet, they aint there either.

    And the ancient people had knowledge of fire and flame. And they had throwers.

    But no flamethrowers? How'd that get missed?

  12. #552

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Dwarves are really affected by the lack of cavalry, so I would suggest boar/goat riders or chariots to improve their mobility on the field.

  13. #553
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    The British isles should get dogman units.

    Historical proof:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddg3NKzp7Go

  14. #554
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    There needs to be a campaign event where the world is officially divided into spheres of influence and naval dominance by the Lusitania faction of Portugal and the Celtiberian faction of Spain as issued by a papal bull from the Roman faction, with transpacific and transatlantic trade networks leading to East Asia and the Americas, respectively.


  15. #555
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I'm still pissed off at the total lack of long range anti-armor units ingame.

    I mean, come on, everyone knows the Romans had Javelins.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfXf98FglTo

  16. #556
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    The game says it has armored cavalry that can be recruited, but I have yet to see one of these:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armour...3_Bradleys.jpg

  17. #557

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    We need to get Lena Headey to say "He gives the Persians a taste of Athenian shock combat" every time a Hoplitai unit charges. And no, I don't mean a voice script. I want Lena Headey to watch me play in my room.
    Last edited by Rad; January 20, 2020 at 06:07 PM.

  18. #558
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    We need to get Lena Headey to say "He gives the Persians a taste of Athenian shock combat" every time a Hoplitai unit charges. And no, I don't mean a voice script. I want Lena Headey to watch me play in my room.
    Sounds super hot, but it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg to land that kinda talent.

  19. #559
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    We need to get Lena Headey to say "He gives the Persians a taste of Athenian shock combat" every time a Hoplitai unit charges. And no, I don't mean a voice script. I want Lena Headey to watch me play in my room.
    Instead of that nag popup about spending too much time in the game, we could have Natalie Wood pop up and tell us when it's time for bed.

  20. #560

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    Sounds super hot, but it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg to land that kinda talent.
    Yeah, but whose?

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