Attila the Hun Immortality Humor Thread

[AnonMilwaukean]

I feel like this situation needs its own humor thread. I mean, Attila under AI control is frustrating as all get out. So, let's get started with this. I'll go first:


7 assassination attempts, 2 times killed in battle, multiple arrow wounds... it's like he's a Migration Period 50 Cent.

Things that'll survive a nuclear apocalypse: Twinkies, cockroaches, and Attila.

Attila keeps coming back like Jordan... number 23, number 45, and then the Wizards.

Attila is the only thing that even chlamydia can't get rid of.

Energizer Bunny on a horse with a bow.

Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Attila.

According to CA, Attila was the 7th, 9th, 11th, 13th, and 15th Great Kan of the Huns.


So, have at 'er!

[nameless]

Well Atilla can only be killed when he becomes king of the Huns.

So if you try to kill him prior to him becoming King he'll just be wounded. I'm not sure if assassinations do anything against him I dont' think they count.

I defeated Attila 3 times in battle and after that he was gone.

[AnonMilwaukean]

He is king currently, and was at the time of my post, and was throughout a Benny Hill list of attempts to kill him.

I know about the king part. I do. This current campaign experience is just insane, though, because despite being king, Attila is surviving everything.

Thus far, Attila has survived everything. It's so bad, I played Mulan's "Make a Man Out of You" just to try and keep my spirits up and brace for more Huns being led by their titanium-clad leader...

[nameless]

Well what happened with me was.

I fought Attila in a massive battle as the WRE. It was a costly victory but I pushed him back and I DID injure him which it noted. His army ran away but my legion was close enough to engage him there and we killed him again which activated the "He's only a man"

The next time I fought him I killed him and that was the end of it.

For the record I did assassinate him 3-4 times but I dunno if that counts does anyone here know if that does count?

[Lugotorix]

Well what happened with me was.

I fought Attila in a massive battle as the WRE. It was a costly victory but I pushed him back and I DID injure him which it noted. His army ran away but my legion was close enough to engage him there and we killed him again which activated the "He's only a man"

The next time I fought him I killed him and that was the end of it.

For the record I did assassinate him 3-4 times but I dunno if that counts does anyone here know if that does count?

Yes it counts for the achievement on Steam. However, you'll notice there's a 0% chance of success for the assassination. So the best you can do is put him out of commission with injury for a few turns. The way his death mechanic works, it's better not to attempt assassination, so you have more time to face him in the field.

[Bramborough]

I don't think agent assassinations count. My spies have "successfully" assassinated him dozens of time (over multiple campaigns), but they could only wound, not kill. In the mouse-over tooltip, my spy would have his normal % chance of success (which results in wound), but always "0%" chance of critical success for the actual kill. Even when he was FL. And this was with Level 8-10 spies, not newbies.

Once I finally caught on that crit chance was always going to be zero, I stopped trying. Not so much out of a sense of futility, but because at least I knew where he was, could track his location and look for opportunities to engage in battle on decent terms. Wounding him just put him off the map a couple turns, and who knows where/when he might re-emerge out of the FOW.

If anyone has had a different experience, having successfully killed him off before Chapter 5 (445 AD) through agent assassinations alone, please chime in.

[RedGuard]

kind of takes away the "by any means necessary" if you can only kill him in battle to get the achievement. A smart strategist would try those other options first and resort to battle if all else failed, but of course I get its a game and they want him to be a huge hurdle to get over. Often when I play Total War though I use the acronym WWTD. What would Tywin do? except of course when it comes to the family tree

[AnonMilwaukean]

So, the achievement is a complete red herring, then: you can only kill him in battle? Wish I'd known that earlier... I'd assumed the 0% chance to kill for each assassination was either a glitch, or because killing him would only be possible on X assassination attempt. I kept thinking that after X number of attempts, it would finally be possible to kill him.

Still, it's funny to me that he must be, essentially, killed multiple times. Sort of immersion-breaking. I'd feel like it's not such a big deal if other major generals could also be injured (Honorious, Arcadius, maybe the Sassanid leader), but it's only Attila who can be 'injured'.

[Doe3000]

So, the achievement is a complete red herring, then: you can only kill him in battle? Wish I'd known that earlier... I'd assumed the 0% chance to kill for each assassination was either a glitch, or because killing him would only be possible on X assassination attempt. I kept thinking that after X number of attempts, it would finally be possible to kill him.

Still, it's funny to me that he must be, essentially, killed multiple times. Sort of immersion-breaking. I'd feel like it's not such a big deal if other major generals could also be injured (Honorious, Arcadius, maybe the Sassanid leader), but it's only Attila who can be 'injured'.

Hmm, strange... I assassinated him in my last campaign, and he came back a few turns later - it turns out he was only wounded. After I finished playing I shut the game off and I had three trophies appear in the lower right hand corner of the screen, one of which was the 'Attila the Dead' achievement. I notice that Steam achievements tend to be unreliable. For instance I finished the Rome II Prologue campaign but I never got the achievement. Same with a bunch of others.

[Lugotorix]

[RedGuard]

reminds me of rome 1 when it would take an eternity to kill someone if they had all the right traits lol.

[gregnaar]

In my Hunnic campaign, after Attila was 20 years old i assigned him to my most formidable army. Hit end turn, next turn first thing i saw: Suspicious Death. Attila was killed instantly and I was like..Wha.. you got to be kidding me. I had to reload the auto save.
I only killed Attila for good as the Langobards, but kind of quit the campaign right after that, are the Huns still spawning endless hordes after the death of Attila?

[Telenil]

They say that Attila always grows back where the grass has passed. Or something like that.

[Caligula's_Horse]

You've gotta nuke him from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.
So all you've really got to do is stack those research buffs until nukes and satellites unlock in the tech tree. Shouldn't take more then 600-700 turns.

[gregnaar]

You've gotta nuke him from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.
So all you've really got to do is stack those research buffs until nukes and satellites unlock in the tech tree. Shouldn't take more then 600-700 turns.

Crap, i started the game with 12 T/Y version... that would take around 18540 turns to reach the time when they used the first nuke.

[RedGuard]

Crap, i started the game with 12 T/Y version... that would take around 18540 turns to reach the time when they used the first nuke.

thats a lot of turns

[Karnil Vark Khaitan]

Attila = Kane

enough said. /thread!

[johan_d]

OP, one error in your post:
Atilla looks under bed for Chuck Norris before going to sleep, NOT the other way round!

[GussieFinkNottle]

'I didn't just survive a wreck, I wasn't just blown up yesterday. I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted and burned.'
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uw63_YyNsF4

'How do you know I'm not a god?'

[Captain W. Handberg]

Things that'll survive a nuclear apocalypse

Don't forget the fridges.