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Thread: The Iron Dynasty

  1. #21
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Jättar

    I would not have known that you were struggling with the grammar. Switching from past to present tense can be an effective way to add drama. I wonder if you would be interested in entering the Monthly Creative Writing Competition? Also, for people who see this in the next few hours, there is still time to nominate stories in the Writers' Study Yearly Awards.

  2. #22
    General Brewster's Avatar The Flying Dutchman
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    Default Re: Jättar

    Seemingly it worked out quite fine then haha!

    Sure I'd like to, the procedure on how to is not to clear for me though?

  3. #23
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
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    Default Re: Jättar

    For the MCWC just drop a post in the submissions thread found in the forum Alwyn linked too, only needs to include a link to your story and a short description/teaser.
    THE WRITERS' STUDY | THE TRIBUNAL | THE CURIA | GUIDE FOR NEW MEMBERS



    PROUD PATRON OF JUNAIDI83, VETERAAN & CAILLAGH
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  4. #24
    General Brewster's Avatar The Flying Dutchman
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    Default Re: Jättar

    Ah alright. I'll try that tomorrow I'm off to bed for now.

  5. #25
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    Default Re: The Iron Dynasty

    Good story you are putting together. I like the development of the characters, keep it up. I am hoping for more of this great story!

  6. #26
    General Brewster's Avatar The Flying Dutchman
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    Default Re: The Iron Dynasty

    Thanks! Does me well to hear this !

  7. #27
    General Brewster's Avatar The Flying Dutchman
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    Default Re: The Iron Dynasty

    Hello everyone!,

    1 new scene and one that has been slightly reworked, You'll also see that I've added multiple new ranks.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Day 3, Midday, Ravel Ironhand, outskirts of Alingas.

    “Warriors, over this hill lays our home, our Alingas! The place where we all grew up, where we fought our first battles for, where we became true men ! Now the place where we grew up is under attack. These attackers are trying to destroy us, trying to claim these lands we call our home. Fight for our right to survive, this is our home not theirs! Today we will be victorious, today will be your day! Today we will bathe in the blood of our enemies. We are Jättar! We are the pinnacle of the warrior society! Warriors… Attack!” The powerful voice of Ravel inspires five hundred men to charge over and down the hill into the rear enemy line.

    The enemy assuming all the forces would be present at fortress Alingas, are taken by complete surprise. Jättar soldiers plunge into the enemy lines breaking enemy shields like twigs. Jättar Great-swords charged into enemy bodies ripping them open like it’s nothing.

    Ravel as a true leader is in the middle of the fight. Dodging an incoming sword and replying with a quick thrust through the attackers chest. “Push on!” He roars. The Jättar as told, push on. In the wake of their advance is only death. With their superb stamina and power the Jättar keep on pushing. Crushing shields with their heavy blows and killing anyone in their sight. Only dead and mutilated bodies remain, bathing in a river of bloodied snow.

    “Jättar hold!” A firm shout from the Jättar forces quickly sounds, immediately followed by the sound of shield interlocking for a shield wall. Having broken the enemy lines the frightened enemy soldiers are in full retreat while their general on his white stallion, is killing his own soldiers trying to stop the rout. “Cowards!” he shouts while riding trough the remains of the order of battle and cutting down his own men.

    Ravel shouts with a deep and powerful voice “Human your fight is over!”

    “Never! You filthy barbarian!” The general kicks his horse and charges over a distance of some twenty meters. Ravel as his son earlier, doesn’t hesitate and draws his sword. “Idiot” he mumbles before throwing his sword into the stallion. The General falls off and comes to a stop at Ravels feet. “Pathetic humans… Tell me who you are.”

    Mumbling under the extreme pain the general says “Your worst nightmare.” Ravel grabs the general by his throat and lifts him from the ground. The general, a very short man looks like a mere child compared to Ravel. Now in even more pain the general tries to scream but can’t.

    “You humans think you’re everything, while you clearly cannot see that not humans but Jättar are the only true warrior race. We are bred for war, designed for it. You have lost this battle and you will lose this war. I will find your village, I will burn your village, I will personally kill your family, and while your people suffer and ask them selfs ‘Why?’ your name will be uttered. You will be held responsible for the coming genocide.” With those words Ravel snaps the generals neck. Thinking mumbling to himself “Puny humans.”

    “Droungar Vigill, I suppose you appreciated the change of setting. How many soldiers died?”

    “Sure did Sir! I thank you for this opportunity. 82 killed during the battle with thirty-three severely injured. A further twenty-two received injuries but were able to continue fighting. Of the four severely injured warriors two are in critical state.”

    “Arrange their burnings with full honors. You are in command. Wrap it up here, remember no prisoners. I’ll see if there is anyone in that burning heap they call a fortress.”

    “Aye sir!”

    Bodies litter the field… hundreds of corpses are being feasted upon by crows and other scavengers. The fields are drenched with red snow. Painful screams for help are being answered by swords. Fortress Alingas is reduced to a smoking pile of bricks. The walls surrounding the gate and those on the west side have all been reduced to rubble. Catapults had been a very effective force in this battle. Ravel walks towards the smoking remains of what once was a gate but still hears the sound of swords colliding. The enemy soldiers inside had not been aware of their commanders death and still are trying to take the fortress. As Ravel comes onto the courtyard he sees piles of dead bodies, Jättar and enemy alike but also multiple severely wounded warriors. On what remains of the center stage a sword fight is going on with three enemy soldiers.

    One Jättar is fighting them, drenched in the blood of his enemies. His skin and armor are blood red, there are remains on his back of something that one day was a cape. It is Atticus who is the Jättar fighter. Unrecognizable because of his blood red color. Ravel, having gone unnoticed thrusts his sword through one of the enemy soldiers, splattering blood all over Atticus his face, who quickly stabs the enemy on his left with a secondary sword laying on the ground and quickly finishing of the remaining soldier. All while his father puts his sword back into his scabbard as if there was no threat at all.

    “I didn’t need your help. I was doing fine old man. Do you not see I am the only one standing. I killed the most of anyone here!” Atticus said irritated.

    “You should have killed more. Tend to your wounded. You’ll need them. Prepare your dead for burning.”

    “Who are these people?”

    “They are the Bakufu, an ancient warrior tribe, but these people aren’t their elite soldiers. They’ll be here soon.” Ravel replies while making his way back to his own soldiers. “Meet me at Castle Vanquish as soon as you’re done. Bring everyone that can walk.”

    “Even the children from the Agoge and the farmers?”

    “No, Leave them.” Ravel shouts while passing the gates and leaving Atticus quite baffled.

    “Lord Ravel, The wounded are cared for and our dead are being prepared for burning. All the enemy soldiers in the immediate area have been killed. The main bulk however has been routed and is still on the lose. My estimates are that there were some 1500 enemy soldiers. First numbers suggest that we killed about 700. We don’t have the manpower to pursue Sir.”

    “Excellent. Let them be, We’ll deal with them later. Let the wounded guard the dead. Prepare the men to move. We’re going to castle Vanquish. Good work Vigill. It would seem that promoting you to a Droungar was a good idea.”

    “Aye sir! Warriors! Prepare to move out!” Vigill screamed from the top of his lungs.


    Atticus Ironhand, later that day, Castle Vanquish.

    Back in the fortress a fading voice utters “Atticus, what are your father’s orders ?”

    “Thedeus ? I was sure I saw you fell. What are you doing down there if you’re not dead?” Atticus replies with a distraught voice. Seemingly irritated that his friend wasn’t participating in the fight.

    “They got me… It’s my leg… they got my leg Atticus.” As Atticus approaches his friend Thedeus raises his leg… Only his thy remains. Blood squirts out as Thedeus moves it. “Please kill me… I can’t live in our society like this… A cripple. Kill me !” Without hesitation Atticus thrusts his sword through Thedeus his head. “We don’t have room for the crippled.” Atticus mumbles.

    While Atticus cleans his with blood tainted sword a door is being kicked in that leads to the armory.

    “Atticus you’re alive ?” A stunned Alexios utters.

    Never caught off guard Atticus moves only his head in the direction of the door seeing Alexios as well as Dvergar coming out it. “Well well well, you guys didn’t die did you…”

    “Not only have we survived, we killed Dranan.” Dvergar quickly responds with a humorous tone.

    “I presume he fled ?” Atticus replied uninterested. “Well, My father ordered me to come to his castle with the remaining survivors. I killed Thedeus over here. He lost his leg. Probably trying to be a ing hero or something. There are some survivors, there are about 9 over in the kitchen. They’re from our year. I told them to go there early in the fight. Collect them so we can make our way to the castle. Droungar Vigill left multiple men outside tending to our wounded men out there, those who can’t walk will remain with them. The same will apply for the children and farmers” Atticus concludes.

    Several minutes later the of energy depleted company arrives in the Castles shadow where they are greeted with salutes from soldiers on the wall. “Open the gate for Dekar Atticus!” a watch officer yells down. The large gate opens and the company of men make their way over victory-bridge onto the courtyard. The courtyard is filled with life, something that hasn’t happened in years. Soldiers running around with food, water, weaponry and armor. Fires are lit all over the courtyard keeping men around then warm and at the same time helps melt snow into drinkable water.

    Vigill shouts from a distance “There you are Dekar Atticus. Your father requests your presence in the war room.”

    “Droungar Vigill, I see that father promoted you. Well… you deserve it I suppose.” Atticus said with a rather cynical and jealous tone.

    “Thank you young Dekar, I’ll get your men to a spot where they can rest and have their wounds checked by one of our Kyrios. Before you go to your father, could you tell me where Strato Dranan is ?”

    Atticus agitated with the delay “He’s dead alright? he fled after the enemy forces broke through the walls and gate. He shamed us all. Alexios over there can help you sort out the detail. If that would be all I’d like to get going.”

    “Very well Dekar.” Vigill replied in an equally agitated tone before moving off towards Alexios.”

    Moving over the courtyard and making his way into the main building of the fortress Atticus takes the stairs up to the second floor. Nothing significant just a simple stairs. Usability over grandeur. Arriving on the second floor the war room is o the left. A nice and warm fire is burning under a large map of the known world. Since the Jättar communities are scattered over the north the map could be considered outdated. Since it states the Empire rules all lands in the cold northern region. Ravel is in deep conversation with a huge Jättar wearing the Domesti insignia. Both having their backs at the door and looking out over the courtyard from the balcony both men don’t notice Atticus coming in and taking a peak of the map.

    “Father you asked for me?” Atticus finally says while turning to his father after examining the map.

    Ravel turns and the mysterious Domesti come back inside “About time you arrived. Atticus this is ‘The Bear of the North’ Domesti Marius Faucan.” Ravel said while looking at some documents he was holding.

    Rather stunned Atticus hesitates to shake the man’s hand. Always having been under the impression that there were no Domesti left among the Jättar. After several seconds pass Atticus does shake the hands man and introduces himself “Dekar Atticus Ironhand.”

    “Well now we got that out of the way it’s time for a history lesson” Before Ravel can continue a deep and dark voice interrupts, it’s the voice of Marius. While he walks towards the map he continues ”Atticus, I am your uncle. My father… well your grandfather rules the lands towards the west. Our scouts spotted the Bakafu moving from their lands here in the eastern regions.” Marius says while pointing on the map.

    “Tell him the rest as well.” Ravel replied quite angered.

    Marius continues as asked “They passed through our lands after a unsuccessful raid into the, from here southern regions four days ago… We examined the threat and it didn’t seem to hurt anyone since they were turning away. Our scouts kept following them at a distance it wasn’t until yesterday morning they actually found a remnant of the old road system… As soon as the scouts reported back I was dispatched here with a small force of 500 men.”

    “You just figured it wouldn’t hurt having a unidentified tribe on our lands ?” Atticus asked.

    “Actually your father knew… He was informed last night.” Marius his face says more then a thousand words. Having been under the impression ravel would’ve shared such important information.

    “Shut up Atticus” Ravel quickly utters when he sees Atticus’s lips moving. “Regardless if he knew or not we’re in this together now. I’ve dispatched messengers to fetch our own warriors. There should be about 350 scattered on our borders. Since I didn’t hear from our south-eastern patrol I expect some 300 men to return to us. Here’s where you come in Atticus, Marius inform him.”

    “You’ll take 25 men and ride a day south. They left the elders, woman and children in a camp there. It should have minimum protection so you should be able to raid it. I will stay here until you return and your father’s forces have been amassed.”

    Ravel with his usual skepticism continues “Because you did such a splendid job keeping your men alive Vigill outfitted a party for you with supplies which will be waiting for you. Marius brought horses for you to use. Try to do a better job keeping those alive.”

    With a bitter face Atticus makes a small bow and says “Father, Domesti, I’ll get underway then.”





    Ranks

    Army Ranks,

    Ema or Ema’s, term for an entire army(’s), Led by a Strate(General), Domesti(Supreme Commander) or Emperor. 10.000 men. Rank Insignia: V, X for a Supreme Commander or an X topped with a crown.

    Mere, Smaller elements of the army, 4 Mere’s make an Army. Commanded by a Tourma(Lieutenant-Colonel). 2500 men. Rank Insignia: IV

    Droun, 5 droun make up a Mere, Commanded by a Droungar (Captain). 500 men. Rank Insignia: III

    Kentar, 2 Kentar make up a Droun. Commanded by a Kentarian (Lieutenant) 250 men. Rank Insignia: II

    Kontau, 10 Kontau make up a Kentar, Commander by a Dekar (Sergeant) 25 men. Rank Insignia: I

    Administrative Ranks:

    Strato, Camp Commander. Rank Insignia: S-V

    Stratok, Governor. Rank Insignia: SK-X

    Ethnarch, Commander of the elite forces/honorary title. Rank Insignia: E-X

    Kheiro, Surgeon. Rank Insignia: A red cross.

    Kyrios, Instructors employed for training the recruits. Rank Insignia: K

    Rank Insignia:

    They are painted in white on the breast plate, more specific on the left chest area. Ema Commanders have capes fitted with large rank Insignia’s. The Emperor has a Gold painted Crown under his insignia.

  8. #28
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: The Iron Dynasty

    Good chapter! Ravel comes across as extremely brutal, with his talk of killing families, genocide and a plan to raid a camp of elders, women and children.

  9. #29
    General Brewster's Avatar The Flying Dutchman
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    Default Re: The Iron Dynasty

    Sometimes the world needs a villain instead of the hero they crave

    Extremely happy with the feedback, I'm trying to keep it realistic, Are these people a threat ? Yes, ok then get rid of them any means. Brutal as it might be Ravel has a responsibility. I'm not going to spoil a lot here but it will be explained later why Ravel swings the sword before he asks .

  10. #30
    General Brewster's Avatar The Flying Dutchman
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    Default Re: The Iron Dynasty

    I knew it had been a while since I updated the story here but damn! Over a year already.
    For those interested I have included a Time-line below, it basically describes events before the story starts. Furthermore I'm in the process of rewriting a lot of the stuff I had. I've grown as a writer and it shows during my rewrite. When that's more presentable I'll be sure to post it here as well!

    Let me know what ya'll think about the time line. There may still be some language errors in there or perhaps even an inconsistency. Feel free to point them out!

    Time Line

    Time line for Jättar:

    ADJ: After Dissolution Jättar
    BDJ: Before Dissolution Jättar
    BJ: Before Jättar

    BJ: The various clans kept no records of their history, it was deemed to be beneath them. Each clan has their own legends and tale’s from before but these stories aren’t considered official history.

    BDJ:

    791 BDJ: The Council of Power is held at Vernicus. Phytheon, leader of one of the mountain clans had successfully brought all clans to the council to discus their unification. After some initial setbacks Phytheon’s power over the other clans prevailed and the Jättar Empire was founded with Phytheon as it’s first Emperor.

    790 BDJ: The Jättar at this point still did not document their history, however it’s widely acknowledged Phytheon was crowned this year.

    501 BDJ: Phytheon X created the Imperial Administration. Their objective was to collect knowledge about the empire and pass it down the generations. They would also start to more accurately keep time and register important events.

    420 BDJ: The first recorded and one of the most significant defeats the Jättar ever suffered since their unification was the battle of Limes against the human Kingdom of Limes. The Jättar at the time we’re not an organized fighting force and so we’re lured into the territory of the kingdom of Limes where they waited for them. The Jättar marched into a swamp like valley and the Limes attacked from all directions. 15.000 Jättar died, accumulating to approximately 33% of the male population at that time. Thus the Jättar we’re forced to accept defeat and agree to a humiliating peace treaty. The young crown price of the Jättar, Ravel(20 at the time) was present at the battle.

    418 BDJ: The Kingdom of Limes exerted control of much of the Jättar territory, repressing the Jättar greatly with their superior army. A series of penal laws we’re passed by the appointed to the Jättar, Governor Torek decreed that each second Jättar child be passed on to the Kingdom of Limes to work in the Kingdom. Some of the old clans revolted and were brutally purged.

    400 BDJ: Governor Terek committed a coup within the Kingdom of Limes, accusing the king of being too lenient towards the Jättar. Later that year Terek was brutally murdered by the previous heir, and new king Barek XI.

    397 BDJ: The occupation costs of the Jättarian lands increased tremendously, constant revolts, increasing death toll on the Kingdom’s side and a failed harvest made Barek XI decide to withdraw from Jättar territory. Later that year Ravel ‘The Great’ inherited the throne of the Jättar Empire.

    395 BDJ: The Jättar had in secret worked on developing a new military system since their crushing defeat in 420 BDJ. The Agoge was instituted and from now on every male would serve. Now with a professional, well trained and well equipped army the Jättar slaughtered an army of 35.000 Limes while only having a force of 10.000 Jättar. This was the first display of military might the Jättar would continue to show to the world. The immediate repercussions of this battle meant that the lands in which Alingas lays became the territory of the Jättar Empire. Ravel ‘The Great’ received his prefix here.

    390 BDJ: The remains of the Kingdom of Limes were mopped up, the Kingdom ceased to exist after the siege of Limes and the Jättar Empire would now stretch from it’s northern shore’s to the southern Mountain Chain.

    387 BDJ: Construction began on ‘The gate of the south’. A passage way through the mountain to the Jättarian lands. Small fortifications were built but these soon fell into disrepair. Remains can still be seen carved into the mountains.

    380 BDJ: Ravel ‘The Great’ creates ‘The Order of the Red Guard’, A special unit within the army with fully red painted armor. Known for their exceptional valor in combat. Only veterans of 5 campaigns may join their ranks after evaluation. Their encampment is near the foot of ‘The southern gate’. The newest enlistees patrol ‘The southern gate’.

    373 BDJ: Ravel ‘The Great’ orders his army further south than ever before, initially his forces encounter small villages on the planes south of the ‘The southern gate’. Perusing a policy of initial peaceful occupation these villages were occupied by a Kentar(250 men).
    - After several months a larger portion of the 15.000 strong invasion force was now used as police force in these villages.
    - During late summer the ‘Sock’ as these People called themselves struck back. Near the village of Co’Sock a Kentar under the command of Kantarian Thedus was ambushed while exercising. The bodies were decapitated, their heads placed on spears and their bodies drawn and quartered. More of these reprisals would take place during the laters months of this year.

    372 BDJ: A large battle near Co’Sock broke the Jättar line, up until now the Jättar army had not utilized cavalry on the battlefield, opting to use the horses for transport alone. The Sock people grew up on horses and easily smashed the Jättar lines despite being outnumbered. At the end of the day the Sock retreated being unable to fully utilize their advantages due to a lack of manpower. The campaign had costs 4000 Jättarian lives by now.
    - Around the yearly Agoge small revolts broke out back home, In Alingas, a newly built settlement, the largest of these revolts broke out. Ravel ‘The Great’ decided to retreat back to the Southern Gate. It remains his only failed campaign.

    371 BDJ: Marching with his Red Guards, Ravel ‘The Great’ moved towards Alingas. Initially the village resisted but eventually gave up after Ravel promised no reprisals would be made it they surrendered peacefully.
    - Keeping his promise Ravel refrained from any reprisals, he however did commission the building of Fortress Alingas later the same year. This influx of workers and eventually soldiers made the village the fastest growing in the realm.

    359 BDJ: Fortress Alingas is completed, during it’s official opening Ravel attends. He’s so impressed he decides to reside there during the coming summer.
    - During the early winter at age 81, Ravel ‘The Great’ dies at fortress Alingas after a period of illness which began shortly after his arrival.

    300 BDJ: It’s unknown to history who succeeded Ravel ‘The Great’, the library which contained most of documented history was burned during a great fire in Vernicus, the capital city, in 300 BDJ. As a consequences not much is known what happened after Ravel’s death.

    266 BDJ: A period of relative peace, prosperity and economic growth under Marius III sees the first mention of The Guild of the Hammer. A state controlled guild of smiths. They are credited to make the worlds best weaponry and are considered master smiths. Disciples travel to other kingdoms and republics to be hired by their rulers and make them weaponry or superior quality tools.

    210 BDJ: Famine weeped across the Empire, Marius IV seemed inept to respond and instead retreated to Fortress Alingas. Members of the Order of the Red Guard conspired against him and placed his infant son, Marius V on the throne. Marius IV was never seen or heard from again. Strate(General) Aquilla was chosen as regent. He reformed parts of the Agoge so that enough people would remain to work the fields. His approach worked.

    198 BDJ: Marius V, now 20 and considered an Adult ordered his forces to lay siege to the encampment of the Red Guard. He ordered the hanging of all officers as reprisal for their betrayal to his father in 210 BDJ. Later that year even Strate Aquilla, who had been like a father to him was found impaled on the city square in Vernicus. Further purges we’re held throughout the year.

    188 BDJ: A succession crisis looms, Marius V his only son, Ravel, Dies while fighting in a small scale rebellion in the east. The local populace became enraged when their quota for the Agoge was raised and took up arms. While successful in quelling the rebellion Ravel was mortally injured and died on the way back to Vernicus.

    184 BDJ: With succession still not settled and Marius V falling ill, various factions within the army fight out small skirmishes. When, later that year Marius V shows signs of recovery the factions quickly disband.

    181 BDJ: 7 years after Ravel’s death a woman known as ‘Eve’ appears at court. She brings with her a 7 year old boy claiming it’s her and Ravel’s son. Various Strate’s that were at attendance dismiss these claims as false, one goes as far as to saying that even if it was true, this son would not be lawfully begotten.
    - Later that year Eve returns with her son and a document signed by Imperial Administration that she had in fact married Ravel during one of his campaigns in 189 BDJ. Members of Ravel’s personal guard later confirmed this to be true…

    180 BDJ: Several Strate’s who had previously been involved in skirmishes of 184 BDJ declare an open rebellion upon the designation of Ravel’s heir, now called Dranan as heir to the throne. Initial success forced Marius V and Dranan to retreat towards Fortress Alingas, however mutiny broke out within the rebellious ranks and Marius was sure to capitalize on it. Ironically it were units of the Red Guard who would ultimately prove decisive and kill the rebellious leadership in battle.

    158 BDJ: Marius V dies quietly in his sleep. Dranan succeeds him to the throne as Dranan II. The first month’s of his reign were filled with intrigue but the Red Guard made sure he was safe, wanting to avoid an other purge like his grandfather enacted upon them.

    99 BDJ: After the deaths of Dranan II, Dranan III, Ravel IX and Dranan IV within 8 years the Empire started to decline. Raids by a mysterious people that came of ships to raid the north stalled economic growth and the lack of long-lived leadership crippled the army. Marius VI had ascended the throne at a mere three years old and his regent, Strate Proxes wasn’t considered to be a good administrator.

    82 BDJ: The regent ship ended with Proxes death and Marius VI becoming of age. However having been the first and only Emperor excluded from the Agoge Marius VI had no military knowledge what so ever. He personally led his army towards the northern shore’s and waited for the invaders… Little did he know they had arrived with a raiding party of around 2500 men a week before. The Strate’s tried to convince Marius VI that he had to scout the area but he refused. Having failed to erect a properly defended campsite the raiders slaughtered around 7500 Jättar during the night, leaving the severed heads of three Strate’s near Marius VI’s tent.

    80 BDJ: After proposing an other campaign in the North with little to no improvement to the original plan Marius VI had proposed two years before the Strate’s decided to confine the Emperor to his Palace in Vernicus. Strate Proxes ‘The Younger’ was elected by the Strate’s to become Domesti(Supreme Commander). Implementing a series of watch posts the Jättar armies managed to trap one of the raiding parties crushing them with ease. He sent back one boat filled with hands and one with a skeleton crew. Telling whoever they were not to come back.
    - Later that year Proxes ‘The Younger’ seized control of the entire government, ruling out of Marius VI’s name.

    66 BDJ: Proxes ‘The Younger’ Purges the reaming Strate’s that supported his grasp for power before handing over power to the new emperor… Ravel X, son of the late emperor Marius VI and now 26 years old. He had been tutored by Proxes ‘The Younger’ and excelled in administrating the empire. The army and Proxes in particular was happy that the new emperor had upheld the tradition of participating and completing the Agoge. Proxes was raised to nobility and given lands in the West of the empire.

    16 BDJ: While having been an excellent ruler, Ravel X allowed for the local nobility to gain more power in day to day affairs. By 20 BDJ he realized the realm had decentralized beyond his initial idea’s. A series of small famines resulted in a declining population and thus smaller army. Constant raids on the northern shores by an enemy known as the Bakafu drained the empire’s coffers and manpower pool.
    - Later the same year Ravel X died by falling of his horse…
    - Dranan V, 58 years old and eldest son of Ravel X succeeded to the throne but was forced to abdicate within 12 days. Phytheon Faucan a respected noble didn’t believe Dranan V was up to the ask and thus led a coalition to depose him. Dranan V committed suicide in the wake of these events. Being the first emperor to do so.
    - Near the end of the year Phytheon Faucan had moved to place Dranan V’s son, Marius VII on the throne. At 38 years old he had excelled in the Agoge, led the Jättar to victory over a small army of the Bakafu and looked to be the stable ruler the realm needed… However not long after Marius VII’s coronation, his son, the 4 year old Ravel was abducted from the palace grounds in Vernicus. Grief struck Marius VII and he was no longer interested in ruling. Dedicating all his time in the search for his son.

    1 BDJ: 15 years Marius VII had searched for his son in vain… During this time the Empire was badly ran, the army wasn’t supplied and raids on the coast became more frequent and larger in size. The Empire lost 6600 men during the battle of BraveColds and that effectively ended it’s military hegemony in the home lands. The local nobility forced Marius VII to hold a new Council of power. During the council notable absentee was Phytheon Faucan. The other nobles were furious at Marius VII and demanded he step down. However there was no heir to take the throne… After months of deliberation it was decided the empire was to be dissolved. Heavily opposed to this Marius VII ordered the Red Guard to kill all nobles in attendance, they ignored the order and instead imprisoned him. Without the constant opposition from the Emperor none stood in the nobles way.

    ADJ

    3 ADJ: Records of the year preceding this entry and the last have been destroyed. Vernicus has been burned to the ground and no records exist to Marius VII’s fate. Remains of the Imperial Administration conclude that Marius VII must’ve died by now and the family that ruled the empire 791 years is no more.
    - Famines continue to ravage the land.
    - Population decline continues to have a grip on the remains of the Jättar.
    - The northern coast is all but abandoned to counter the raids from distant lands.

    5 ADJ: I, the last Lord-Care-Taker of the Imperial Administration by the name of Grove, appointed to office by the last emperor Marius VII, have fallen ill. By the symptoms I have reckon I do not have long to live. May this place continue to be a source of knowledge, hope and enlightenment for anyone who may find it.

    17 ADJ: Prologue starts.

    37 ADJ: Story starts.





  11. #31
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
    Content Director Patrician Citizen

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    Default Re: The Iron Dynasty

    I think time-lines like this one are enjoyable and helpful for both writers and their readers. It looks like your tale has a rich back-story, which could contribute items, ideas, motivations and cultural reference points for the story in the present day.

  12. #32

    Default Re: The Iron Dynasty

    Good read. I appreciate the world building aspect. I felt the view and culture after the battle in the conversations between Atticus and his crew. The father not being present at the graduation seemed more deliberate than not. I felt that come across as well. I felt some disdain about his man and his "trying to be a hero" and even more disdain for the one who may have tried to flee. Was that a reflection of personal opinion or culture commentary on the lack of discipline that may have led to the heroics/loss of limb?
    Great read overall and look forward to more

  13. #33
    General Brewster's Avatar The Flying Dutchman
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    Default Re: The Iron Dynasty

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    I think time-lines like this one are enjoyable and helpful for both writers and their readers. It looks like your tale has a rich back-story, which could contribute items, ideas, motivations and cultural reference points for the story in the present day.
    Thanks mate, I noticed that when I started writing it I immediately got motivated to carry on again. It helps me also creating more of a world around it which in turn gives me a lot more options to make scenario's while writing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zeus Almighty View Post
    Good read. I appreciate the world building aspect. I felt the view and culture after the battle in the conversations between Atticus and his crew. The father not being present at the graduation seemed more deliberate than not. I felt that come across as well. I felt some disdain about his man and his "trying to be a hero" and even more disdain for the one who may have tried to flee. Was that a reflection of personal opinion or culture commentary on the lack of discipline that may have led to the heroics/loss of limb?
    Great read overall and look forward to more
    Thanks for the compliments! It is defiantly a cultural aspect that fuels the disdain.
    Currently I'm rewriting everything that I have posted here, making it more immersive and more display of emotions in the characters. I'm very happy with the progress atm. By the time I have that done I shall of course post is here

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