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Thread: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

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    Default The Critic's Quill: Issue 39








    From the TeamHello and welcome to all.

    It brings us great pleasure to present to you another edition of the Critic's Quill.

    We may not have much numbers in this edition, but we do have some good writing here. Dance has stepped up to the occasion with four well-written pieces. We also have the usual contributors, R-teen, Kybrothillian, Maximinus Thrax, Legio_Italica, and Merchant of Venice. All with shiny new articles for all our readers. A big round of applause to them.

    Join us as we catch up with the Writer's Study and all the news there with Dance. Then we have solid reviews in both AARs and Creative witing of course. One of the reviews is about Hulksuru, a review about a tale set in an alternate universe and something which we don't see being attempted everyday. After the reviews, it is time to finish the edition with some articles and some good tea or coffee. We have quite some good articles from introspection about AAR wiriting to secrets of successfull writers. And to conclude it by an article of Shogun 2 AARs.

    Lastly, we thank you all for your continued dedication and patronage to the Quill. Please enjoy the articles and we hope to be back in the next edition in the holiday season with lots of articles and cakes.

    The Critic's Quill team.


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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    News


    Catching up with the Study
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Welcome to Issue 39 of the Critic's Quill!

    It has been three months since our first issue of Catching up with the Quill, a subsidiary news article for the Writer's Study, featured in the Critic's Quill, and as such, much has happened since!

    We'll start, as always, with Tale of the Week!

    There were some fabulous tales over the past three months! But, alas, we can only recount a few of these dashing tales.

    To begin, we start with an interesting tale from TotW 184: Inferno. The winner, probably will be of little surprise to you, is R-teen. R-teen produced for us a tale derived from the fiery bowels of Dante's Inferno itself!

    Truly a magnificent idea for the week, in very close accordance with the subject matter, a man's solemn acceptance of his fate, as he stands before The Gates in the south... The deep south, that is. The man's impeccably honorable acceptance of this fate is displayed stoutly as he even provides some comic relief, before an eternity of pain and suffering ahead. The comedic relief of the subject matter is quite enticing for readers.
    "It's a glorious scenery though, I'll give you that. Those crackles and flames and fireworks and all... It really scares the **** out of me."
    R-teen is quite the writer. His presentation and grammar are always so spot on. It is with little disappointment that he has not yet begun a true creative writing story. He would do such a splendid job, and it would be quite the intriguing read I am most certain of it!

    Aside from one or two grammatical errors–which one would really have to be meticulous about to find–it is seemingly flawless, and so one can enjoy the story peaceably!

    Truly an astonishing tale from a frequent returnee to TotW, as he has indeed graced us in the past with superb submissions, as well!

    Following only a couple weeks later, I bring a tale done in May, TotW 187: From Another World, by a relatively familiar face to the Writer's Study scene... Robin de Bodemloze. If he wasn't your guess, well, he definitely is the author of this brilliantly futuristic piece of writing.

    The subject, From Another World, is brought to us by another familiar, and intrinsic player in the Writer's Study's arsenal, Audacia.

    Audacia's subject garnered a relatively large turnout of submissions, at seven. Rarely, as of late, do we see the submissions reach this number, but that just makes his tale that much better! There was definitely stiff competition this week, as many of TWC's best and natural writers competed - making the victory that much sweeter...

    Robin's tale depicts a space ship that seeks to return to Earth (or Genesis 5-3, as they call it) to gather some intelligence planted there long ago. Well, these unidentified beings (I assume, perhaps ignorantly) are similar to humans, if not cut from the same cloth. It's a fascinating touch on conspiracy theories that intelligent life long existed on earth, far before our modern, or even our "recent" ancient times.
    "Very good. Set course for ultra-high geostationary orbit above Genesis 5-3, and upload the coordinates of the Ark into E.V.E. The planet’s atmosphere is 53% disulphur tetraoxide - Pegasus' life support systems will give them no more than 160 minutes to complete extraction and rendezvous with the Discovery quarantine module."
    I am unsure where Robin concocted such amazing originality as this, but it certainly helped captivate the attention of the voters this time around!

    A mistake noted (from the above quoted paragraph) would be the hyphen in place of where I assume a dash is meant. This is an easy punctuation error, however. Another instance features an en dash where there doesn't really need to be one, as the en dash is meant to replace and. But, perhaps I'm just nitpicking here.

    Lords of the Writing Universe know that I make similar mistakes (as we all do) in writing, hence why accomplished authors have editors and publishers!

    Well done, Robin! And it should be noted that this was also Robin's WSCM gold medal victory! A rare gem indeed.

    Inspired by George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, TotW 191: Prince Rhaegar, is in honorable homage to one of the most intriguing characters of his medieval fantasy series...

    And, as such, Dude with the Food pays homage to a personal hero of his own, Joan of Arc. With not releasing the fact of his biopic story on the mysterious and intriguing woman of the past, he slowly immerses his readers into her story, subtly, and with great care.
    “You see before you heresy! Open the eyes you call your own and observe damnation here unfolding before you. See not the accursed witch branded unjustly but the noble and honorable messenger of God. You burn not a demon but an angel, worthy of seat in heaven."
    The opening dialogue is powerful in its own right. One can only but wonder whom is speaking, and of whom they speak. But, as it is subsequently revealed, it was a French man, of no high status, or true importance, who speaks out on behalf of a mortally condemned soul, a woman he believes is of divine intervention–as if sent from above, herself–she is none but Joan of Arc. Executed at the mere age of 19, after an eventful youth saw her as having garnered a more powerful following and enshrinement of a whispered immortality, so young in age. Within those furious days, one can only but wonder the plight that this young woman went through, before many in modern days are even capable of personal independence, she was a war hero, and had established a reputation and reigniting of morally lost souls. In what she would one day be recognized for sainthood, had led to her condemnation, in a dark era of our history...

    With a keen knack in proficiency in his writings, DwtF has done nothing but justice to the memory of this historical figure. His intuitively righteous dialogue has captivated the readers and voters alike, this week, leading him to nothing but sheer victory, despite the adversity of stiff competition!

    During the read, one might come across several punctuation errors–though small in turn–are noticeable. But, perhaps DwtF's mind was so focused on ensuring as accurate a portrayal of those final moments as possible, and was carried away with his writing, as can happen all to easy when the melodic and omniscient power of words and their output are put from keyboard to text (in our case, as opposed to the more historically normal and formerly common pen to paper).

    The dialogue could have used a little more emotional description, of the speaker, rather than a long speech, with little explanation of the emotion the speaker was displaying physically, though these competitions can at times be restrictive to writers, as is part of the difficult of it, in shortening the subject matter to within the bounds of the guidelines, and as such, this may not be much of an issue to most readers.

    A truly splendid tale, worthy of the win received. We can always expect this quality from Dude with the Food!

    It is with great personal displeasure that I must admit that our Monthly Creative Writing Competition and Monthly After Action Report Competitions have suffered an unfortunate setback of lack of activity, due to these warm summer months, and as such have been pushed back three months for the current competitions, leading us to frozen competitions, in what shares the pedestal with the dastardly subject, of which words pain me to speak, a seemingly parallel demon, of writer's block. A sore relevance, and perhaps remedied with the launch of Rome 2 and the end of the summer, which, the results of the competitions will not be known until the next publication of the Quill, but you can be certain they shall in turn be covered.

    But, to leave on a truly positive, and undeniably important note, I implore you fine readers (who have read this far, and perhaps those who just glanced the ending) to take up your quills and keyboards, and, if your busy schedules permit it, to write what comes to mind, or whatever you wish to convey into stories, poems, and reflective blogs, and better your understanding of writing, and proper language skills, as you can never achieve absolute perfection (Lords of Writing know, as they have at times granted their benevolent blessings upon me, and other times, left my prayers for a prolific piece unanswered).

    We in the Writer's Study and all Content areas of the Forum need you! No author, novice or experienced, is perfect. And as such, we can all learn from one another.

    So take some time to portray your thoughts in the Study, as you all have brilliant minds. You will be received with only the warmest of welcome!

    Signing off this second (and hopefully not the last) issue of Catching up with the Study, I thank you, fine readers.

    Until next time, my readers few or many!

    - Dance


    Coming up in the next issue:
    Look for the winning tales of the special Tale of the Week: 200 Competition, to be delved into deeply, in the Critic's Quill 40, and much more, in our upcoming third issue.

    Also, the results of our summer MCWC and MAARC will be laid out and picked at with the tweezers of critique!

    AAR Reviews


    The Prussian Republic
    A participatory AAR by Lord Inquistor Derby Hooves.
    Review by Kybrothillian.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    I don’t happen to be an active reader of ETW AARs, but I think I can safely say that AARs about Prussia are aplenty there. Perhaps AARs about state revolutions where a certain country becomes a revolutionary republic isn’t uncommon either. But while “The Prussian Republic” by ☩Lord Inquisitor Derpy Hooves☩ is both of these as well, its main unique feature is that it is Participatory, meaning that it is an interactive AAR.



    What does this mean? It means that the readers participate in deciding the course of the AAR. Participation is actually vital: If there is not a sufficient amount of readers active (more than three), the AAR will stagnate, regardless of the writers eagerness. Much of the content of the AAR will depend on the readers. Players can propose such things as army recruitment, structure building and diplomacy, which then need to have more agreements than disagreements from other players to pass. Obviously at least one agreement is needed. Every player is also able to gain a personal unit to use by their own wishes without needing agreement from others.

    First let’s talk about the text content. Since the course of the AAR is determined by the readers making votes what to do each update (in fact, the faction used in the AAR was decided by voting as well), there is no major plot. Although this still doesn’t stop the writer from developing any side plots that he could work on by himself if he wanted to. Characters are also mostly absent, with only those giving information being used by the writer. However the readers will get the room to create characters for themselves, and interact with the AAR and each other. Indeed, many such characters are created already by players, including Ernst Stottlemeyer, Friedrich Schwarz and Adolf von Kurland to name a few. But still, if side plots were to be used, the writer could easily add in characters of his own, which could either be on their own or interact with the readers.



    This all leaves the updates to be informative in form, instead of narrative. The writer explains in detail everything that has happened so far to the players, and may make additional posts to show available options, which include unit availability, economic situation and diplomatic relations among others. With these, the players have to devise and make their proposals and decisions.

    Of course then there are the images as well. Every update features a large amount of images showing both the country statistics and captions of the battles. The images receive the necessary cropping to make them look good most of the time, and there is even one case of a graphically edited and animated image, made to look like from an old film. Of course, some rare images remain without the cropping, and the angles could benefit from some working. But there’s nothing critically bad there, they are just minor things.



    To finalize it, the Prussian republic provides an interesting AAR to follow with its exotic nature of making the reader part of the working power behind it. However not even an interactive AAR should be exempt from improving the story side of after action reports. Side stories and more dramatic descriptions could improve the AAR greatly in this aspect, making it more interesting for people with a taste for good storylines. The AAR is still at the early phases (not like joining at a later point isn’t possible) so to get the writer to make more updates, you could go to check his AAR, join the ranks of councilors, invent a character if you so wish, and help guiding the republic of Prussia to prosperity.


    Seaxan Dægrēd
    A Saxon AAR by McScottish.
    Review by Maximinus Thrax.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Introduction
    A veteran of TWC’s writing community, McScottish has managed over the years to perfect his unique approach, overcoming the traditional limitations of the AAR genre. His creations are a statement that AARs should no longer be considered a sterile genre, laden with the usual huge amount of screenshots and boring battle descriptions. In fact, at first glance, the only clue that McScottish’s works are indeed what they claim to be is that he placed them in the AARs section. The trademark of his AARs is that the gameplay elements are always hidden in plain sight, embedded within the narrative structure, leaving much to the imagination of the reader.

    Story

    Seaxan Dægrēd (the Saxon Dawn) makes use of the Arthurian Total War mod for Rome Barbarian Invasion, the chosen faction being the Germanic Angles, also referred to as Anglii.

    The story begins in 481 AD, some seventy years after the end of the Roman rule in the former province of Britannia. The Sub-Roman Britain is now turn asunder by endless bloody conflicts between the numerous warring factions, whether natives to the land or outside invaders. The latter category, heavily featured in the story, is comprised of several Germanic populations arriving from the mainland - Angles, Saxons and Jutes.

    Seaxan Dægrēd
    revolves around the character of Gyric, son of Frithnoth the blacksmith:
    My mother was a Seaxan, my father an Angle, and I was born in the north-east region of Bryten near what the Romans named 'litus Saxonicum', the 'Saxon Shore'.
    It tells the account of a low-born Angle and his brutal transition from childhood to adulthood, in an age marked by pandemic violence and destruction. Eventually, he makes his way into the Angles’ army to carve out a destiny for himself. What’s interesting is that the author delivers the story from the perspective of a foreign invader. This element of extraneity is ever-present throughout the story, eventually influencing Gyric’s relations with a series of characters.

    Seaxan Dægrēd has everything one could expect from such an excellent work: intriguing storytelling, unexpected turns of events, love, betrayal, death. McScottish has demonstrated once again that he’s not afraid to make reference to elements which rarely can bee found in an AAR, for instance love, which plays an important part in the story.

    Writing style

    McScottish uses exclusively first person narrative to describe the events from Seaxan Dægrēd. Thus, the narrator is a much older and mature Gyric, who has probably reached a certain status within the Anglo-Saxon society, although there are no hints about it at this point.

    The story has a good flow and every new chapter blends in with great ease. The excellent quality of the writing is a testament to McScottish’s mastery of the English language. As an example, I should really mention this next paragraph, one of the many which caught my attention:
    One thing I did not notice, at the time, was that my fiery temperament was slowly being quenched by the water of Ese and his teachings. I had not become calm, not yet, but each new lesson was like a hot blade in my fathers forge being thrust into the extinguishing water, the steam rising from the blade much like the steam rising from my own body and mind.
    The author spares no detail regarding the descriptions, whether is about the outer appearance of a character, a duel between two combatants, a fully-fledged battle or the decaying state of one of those ruined settlements scattered across the isle, which once attested the hegemony of Rome over these forsaken territories. The evocative power of such descriptions is tremendous:
    When their wall hit our own, and it hit hard, it sent ripples through so that even at the rear I nearly lost my balance. Only planting my spear into the ground kept me upright, my knees shaking and my entire body sweating in spite of the lashing rain that threatened to blind me, my hand constantly moving to wipe away the God-sent water. In the front men were already dying, spears shattering or becoming useless, those who had swords starting to draw them and those without sliding long-knives and hand-axes from sheaths and the loops of a belt. I could hear men dying, some screams cut short, others grating against my ears and, to a young Angle like myself, it did seem that the entire world was ending.
    Historical research has always played a major role in all of McScottish’s works. The use of first person narrative combined with a great attention even to the minutest detail, when it comes to accurate depicting of habits persons or settlements, creates a great feeling of immersion, in the long run contributing decisively to the overall authenticity of the setting. This well-balanced abundance of descriptions has the force to transport the reader back into the past, allowing him to witness and live the events through the eyes of the main character. The author also inserts a variety of ancient terms (contemporary words, names, toponyms). As a small but concludent example, he was able to provide no less than five different names for the legendary Arthur of Camelot, one of the native kings of the land - Artōrius , Artúr, Artorīgios, Bana, Deádbǽre, each of these names being used only a certain faction.

    Since this AAR doesn’t use any screenshots whatsoever, the TW campaign is cleverly hinted at by various characters on different occasions, usually through dialogue. The same goes later on in the story with the unit recruitment.

    Characters

    Seaxan Dægrēd is populated by many memorable characters. Most of them evolve over the time, gradually revealing certain hidden aspects of their personality. One thing is certain, though. In this grim age, where everyone either lives or dies by the sword, survival through any means is essential, even if it involves betrayal.

    Of all the characters, I really want to mention two of them: the Frisian warrior Ese, Gyric’s mentor, and Wynith, a female warrior of noble descent and the main’s character love interest. Regarding the first character, it’s quite a surprise to discover an admirer of everything Roman underneath a rugged exterior of a battle-hardened barbarian. As for Wynith, her quite important place in the story (not to mention her strong personality) is a nice addition to the AAR.

    Images

    Unlike the majority, this AAR doesn’t employ not even one screenshot. Each chapter is preceded by a single picture, unrelated to the game, which always comes to summarize the very content of the update, functioning as a visual symbol. I believe this approach is unique, here at TWC.

    Critique

    Seaxan Dægrēd, like the rest of McScottish’s works, is one of the most interesting and well-written AARs I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. I’m not going to mention once again about the clarity of the style, the superb descriptions, the great narrative plot, or the elaborate characters, since these elements have already been analyzed.

    What I’m going to mention, though, are several aspects which can usually put off some casual AAR readers. The most important one is the lack of visual references to the game. Most casual readers want to see at least a couple of screenshots, since, to some, the gameplay facet is more important than any literary flourish. A direct consequence is also the fact that it’s quite difficult to keep track of everything that has been going on in the game, at least on the conquest level. Also, the lack of a in-game map may no doubt affect the geographical perception of the land for those who are not familiarized with Britain’s terrain.

    On the other hand, what I said above was not meant to sound as a reaction against McScottish’s decision to exclude any sort of gameplay pics. Personally, I understand and respect his decision to bring his work closer to a novel-like format rather than to a classic AAR, because it really enables him to stand out of the crowd as a writer.

    My real gripe regarding McScottish’s work is related to his modus operandi. The only obstacle on the road to becoming one of TWC’s greatest and most accomplished AAR writers is his habit to start new AARs every once in a while, neglecting the majority of his earlier works. I do hope this time he will find the resources to complete Seaxan Dægrēd, easily one of the best works around, even in its current unfinished state.

    Conclusion

    The readers of Seaxan Dægrēd will not be dissapointed. In fact, I’m sure most of them will soon start ignoring the AAR aspects and care more for the narrative content itself, wondering how will the story eventually end. It’s really that good.


    The North Remembers
    A Crusader Kings II AAR by RoyalNobody.
    Review by Dance.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    A fitting introductory title image of the Weirwood tree of Winterfell

    I bring forth to you a CKII:AGOT AAR by a new and upcoming AARtist, by the name of RoyalNobody. Though, when this AAR is completed, I'm sure his name will be due for a change (pun intended)!

    The premise of this CKII:AGOT AAR is quite intriguing. For those of you familiar with 'A Song of Ice and Fire', the medieval-fantasy epic, by George R.R. Martin, then perhaps this review might peak your interest into this astounding piece of AArt.

    RoyalNobody has set the story forty-five years after the current events of A Game of Thrones (or properly and colloquially known as ASOIAF), with many of the tapered off settings from the middle of GRRMs series, having been spun into different directions. Obviously a lot changes in forty-five years, as the events of the current series has undergone an immense transition in just a short few years of the original storyline. Well, RoyalNobody has added his own spin and is unraveling his own ending to this epic story.

    The sheer brilliance of the beginning of this story is sure to captivate both 'GoT' readers/watchers and newcomers who are not familiar with the ongoing series, set in an immense alternate universe, with many... Similar comparisons to the history of our world...

    The story follows a multitude of 'big players' that are all vying for survival and supremacy, in the unforgiving and treacherous world. So the fact that you see alternative perspectives of the many different sides, where the interesting aspect is that there is no black and white. The heroes, conquerors, good guys, bad guys, are all in the eyes of the readers. Albeit your a fan of the North, the South, the Dragons, the Lions, there is seemingly innumerable amounts of sides to sling your hopes for success. All of the sides are vastly different and interesting in their own rights, and the enormity of events that occur, in the many different regions of the continent and abroad add deeply to the immensely intriguing and ever-changing story that unfolds from chapter to chapter.

    In a world where no one is safe, regardless of their status, wealth, or power, the possibilities are endless and endings seemingly unpredictable. By the title of this magnificent story, the closest character to a protagonist would have to be Hoarfrost Umber. House Umber is a loyal house of northerners, bred hard and strong, as far north as north goes (just short of The Wall), and the Umbers have not forgotten a grave crime and immensely devilish slight that was committed against the north. Hoarfrost aims to enact swift vengeance for past travesties that have, as of yet, gone relatively unanswered. With a multitude of possible enemies, Hoarfrost definitely has the odds against him. Aiming to unite a shattered peoples, and restore the prominence and honor that was once held, this young, yet determined leader, has his work cut out for him. But, we shall follow this adventure through and see what the future has in store for House Umber and all of Westeros.

    Other key players in this story will arise, as different kingdoms have forged, and independence has been declared, one may wonder who will rise above the ashes and unite Westeros, once again... If ever again.

    The presentation is immaculate. Like many good books, the writing can provide a scenery that no picture could do justice. As we all perceive the scenery and characters in our own minds, with our own small detail differences, and perhaps very different detail differences, we will build our own imaginations around this epic story. The writing itself is the emphasis of this story, with minimal imagery provided.

    The images, however few there are, are very well placed. They mesh well with the scenes for which they belong. The sizes are equal, and the number is balanced, which is aesthetically pleasing, and though they only add a quick snapshot of the setting's subject matter, it is enough to complement the story, without taking too much from the already well written, and detailed scenarios.


    When the character perspective is on Gorold Goodbrother, the new King of the Iron Islands, these pictures, depicting warriors are well placed to complement the subject matter, and show you the intensity of the Ironborn

    The images all mimic the same format, but are distinctive in their own rights. The author admittedly makes his screenshots from Skyrim, with a greenscreen modification, and then edits them with a third party program, paint. Brilliantly original, and a very commendable approach.

    The author's sense of description is crisp. If I can take one interesting example of his prolifically ingenious descriptiveness:
    They were family by the looks of them, a father and his two young daughters. The father was plump and had a round, honest face with dark brown hair and dark eyes. His daughters trailed a step behind him and both had his brown hair and dark eyes, though one had inherited his plumpness while the other had not.

    Whoever the man was he was not noble, and would be worth no ransom. More than likely the man had spun a tale to his captors that they would be richly rewarded should they spare his life and his daughters innocence. When this farce was over Gorold would be sure to give him a slow and painful death, and then take his daughters to his bed. At least it might improve his mood.
    The author takes great pride in ensuring he provides detailed and accurate descriptions of the characters he has created. The sheer depth of his descriptions puts the person described into your mind as the author would hope to have them portrayed, which is truly the work of a great author whose trying to relate his envisioned person into the mind of his readers. I take one small example here, however, the story is riddled with truly descriptive writing such as this, which is rare to come by at such mass in a creative work.

    I noticed some areas where improvement could do some justice, as relatively minuscule as it is, critique is the only way for improvement!

    Firstly, I noticed more often then not that dialogue is fairly minimum in the full spectrum of the story's five chapters, thus far. The issue I see is that often dialogue is stuck in the middle of seemingly large paragraphs.

    All dialogue, especially when between different characters, should have their own new paragraphs. The issue I see with this (in many author's eyes) is that it may not make the writing presentation as aesthetically pleasing, with one liner paragraphs, though it is proper presentation.

    That being said, the paragraph are often longer than is truly necessary. There are several points throughout the AAR where new paragraphs could logically be started, which could make the story more clear and concise. When paragraphs drag on, it makes it difficult to retain much of the knowledge being read, because often one is focusing on keeping their spot in the long paragraph that they end up sacrificing their attentiveness to detail. Surely a resolvable issue.

    Aside from that, I noticed several small, and assuredly accidental grammar and spelling errors, but this of course is resolvable with revision.

    A qualm I have, as many 'die hard fan fiction' fans might also share, is accuracy to lore, when creating fan-based fiction. I would also ensure the application of this to my own works, but ensuring accurate depictions in correlation to specific lore-based rules is essential. One such example is when the Ironborn are described as having fought each other over a rotting carcass. Perhaps there was more to this incident than met the eye, however, a prime example of lore contradiction would be, as is a commonly accepted cultural norm, that Ironborn do not shed each other's blood. This is a relatively minor critique that perhaps only those familiar with ASOIAF lore might pick up. Perhaps it was still an intended inclusion, as the author seems to have a firm grasp of the ASOIAF lore, displayed in his writings. His readers eagerly await more!

    Overall, this AAR is beautifully conceived. The author has done is research on the lore, which is essential in fan fiction. There are no issues which cannot be remedied with revision, and the story has endless bounds, as the author has found a way to create his own post-events story! Truly a remarkable take on the spin of the original series, I would expect nothing less from this superb writer.

    I look forward to future updates and would absolutely recommend this AAR for not just 'Game of Thrones' fans, but also any readers of medieval fantasy, history, war, drama, or if your just in for a good read! No reader shall be disappointed by this story.

    Creating Writing Reviews


    A Whale Rider's Journey
    A story by Rex Anglorvm.
    Review by R-teen.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    It is never an easy task to tempt random readers into investing time to read a large creation of yours. One has to come up with a way to grab the readers and as soon as possible, offer their audience something that they couldn't just easily give up.

    A tragic start, that mayhap can even bring a tear or two to the eyes of a sentimental reader, is the method Rex undertakes to have you mesmerized by the end of the very first chapter. Rest assured, such show of skill is not limited to the opening of the story.

    Plot and Storytelling
    While some people may find the Viking settings interesting enough as I did to start reading the story, in the end it’s all a matter of taste of the readers whether to like the settings or not. To catch the interest of the different kinds of reader, Rex has his captivating opening up his sleeve, daring the readers to put down the story after the first contact is made. The end of the first chapter is where you’ll become aware that this isn't a story you can just abandon.

    A Whale Rider’s Journey is a beautifully written thriller narrated through a consistent first person perspective and with a monologue-like tone, which is in good accord with the story. The characters are exquisite, well-made and distinct. Excitement never leaves the narrative and from every chapter you can expect a good dose of thrill and adrenaline.

    Development of characters is without a doubt one of the most astounding aspects of the story. The characters present in the story are pretty solid, palpable, adequately described—both mentally and physically—and each of them sport their own sense of humour, temper and mood. Never in the story would it bother the reader that a character is not distinguishable or hard to keep track of. One of the methods of achieving such a successful result I gather, is the avoidance of the writer with regard to introducing not needed trivial characters; when it comes to assessing whether the story could be progressed without naming a new character or not—keeping in mind that the chapters are relatively short for a story of such kind and as a result, there may not be enough neither space nor need—the writer shows off his sharp wits.

    Unfortunately, the deft writing is let down by not a very innovative plot. At least judging from this much we've seen from the story—unless the writer amaze us in the future with an expected twist in the story—the plot doesn't have much to offer; it lacks uniqueness and originality. The story nonetheless, is delivered through such an adept storytelling that you can hardly blame the writer for trying to take the best out of a worn out plot.

    Writing
    When it comes to the writing, there could hardly any solid faults be found with it. Aside from the not so frequent typos and small punctuation errors—which were too sparse to be worthy of further mention—the only other thing that is entitled of noticing is the writer's overuse of the italic letters. Mostly they’re used to distinguish the thoughts of the protagonist from the main body of text, but as a result of the first person perspective of the narrative, the line separating those two isn’t really a clear one, and it seems that sometimes the writer himself is confused by this fact, to an extent that in a case or two we can see almost an entire chapter written in italics, which is a little disturbing.

    Although the paragraph lengths seem a little short sometimes, they’re finely structured and make for an easy read. Better yet, the writer takes advantage of his own style in this respect to brandish it as another tool in his arsenal of penmanship. Take for example, the two paragraphs quoted below, to better understand how Rex uses a simple paragraph break—and also, bringing such a small sentence right after a long one—to unleash the momentum he’s built up by the previous paragraphs and make the climax stick in the reader’s mind like a punch-line.
    “I stepped in next to Huw at last, and took his right hand opponent from him, he nodded his thanks, and finally free to concentrate on one man, he swiftly swung that deadly axe once more and as the man lifted his blade to counter, the little man laughed and seemed to swerve backwards and then threw the blade from his right to left hand and took the man in the centre of his forehead in the blink of an eye.


    The Welshmen was an artist.”

    In less than one hundred words we can see a remarkable job of battle description, a pleasant show of good writing, and last but not least, the art of character developing in short, as the writer further polishes the edges of the figure that is the ‘The Welshman/Huw’, gifting him character, and making him stand out in the mind of the reader.

    Mentioning the battle descriptions, it is definitely worth pointing out the precious efforts the writer has put into bringing battles into life. The aforementioned is yet another one of the outstanding features of the story. Length-wise, the descriptions are adequate and sufficient; Rex doesn't bore the reader with lengthy details of war, neither does he neglect the importance of keeping enough blood flowing throughout such a story. And quality-wise, they’re outright splendid, well-written and visual.

    Conclusion
    The story in overall, is of very good quality. It is captivating, hard to put down and can bring you hours of happy reading. When it comes to enjoy-ability, A Whale Rider’s Journey shines a brilliant shine.



    Hulksuru
    A series by Marshall of France.
    Review by Dance.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Introduction
    Hulksuru is a fantasy epic tale, set in an alternate universe. In Hulksuru, fantastical creatures dwell among the many differing humanoid people and vastly different cultures of this mysterious world. The story features numerous civilizations that are all vying for supremacy in a harsh world, where power is everything.

    This epic tale is produced by TWC's very own, Marshall of France. MoF, in co-authorship with another tremendous writer, brings us a very difficult presentation of a new fantasy story. Epic fantasies such as this are very difficult to organize and maintain, naturally, as they tend to require an in-depth history to explain the nature of the current events and those involved. By example in this, I point to Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, A Song of Ice and Fire, Harry Potter, to name a few different fantasy epics, all of which are backed by meticulously-written legendariums (by which word I use to describe the worldly writings of large epic story series'). The fact this epic is co-authored is an even more intriguing spin on the individuality of it, as two minds merge to form a tremendously in sync world, as they unleash their combined imaginations to produce a spectacular fantasy tale.

    The introduction of vast civilizations, each with their own unique cultures, religions, structural organizations, citizens, and regions, is a lot to take in at once, but the reader is captivated from the immense setting being unraveled before them, which entices the point of curiosity and enthralls readers of this epic from the first few chapters. And alas, a new fantasy epic is born!

    Writing and presentation
    The writing style is common among creative works, but the authors provide an in-depth knowledge of their world, and in particular, a sense of direction in which they are taking the story from the outset. There is no sense of bland writing, or a tedious storytelling, as within the first few chapters the reader is blasted with unpredictability and climactic scenes of shock and awe. This quick presentation of the story helps to quickly garner reader intrigue quickly into the tale, and creates a sense of yearning for more writing.

    The introduction of each civilization, based on the first few chapters is a brilliant way to truly present the individuality of each set civilization, and the quarrles, misfortunes, strengths, and weaknesses each civilization faces in the uncertain future of their world. The threat of each of these civilizations to the others are apparent early on, as each has their own unique strengths and weaknesses, which grant them a relatively fair stance as the overall story progresses.

    The authors' approach here grants them the ability to create truly unique and detailed characters for each of these civilizations and a sense of differing goals and ideals, by which their individual stories may grow to seek and achieve. One quickly comes to associate the many different cultures with those in which have existed throughout our own history, and by this we the readers get a sense of the broad spectrum in which this story can develop as seemingly similar cultures throughout history are combined into one time era and thrust against one another, as they all vie to retain their independence and survival.

    The difficulty that goes into creating a story of this magnitude can quickly become apparent, in any epic series. There is a seeming need for a complex structure to be forged in which the large number of characters, cultures, creatures, and regions can all be compiled into one legendarium. With a detailed compilation, which is easily navigable, will help the readers gain a true sense of structure and understanding, to closer see the world depicted to them, through the eyes of the authors - which is ultimately a goal in true understanding of the envisioned experience of the authors writings.

    In terms of story-writing (non-AAR creative writing), MoF's use of imagery - almost every one he posts - is spectacular for the set scenes. I can't get over enough how brilliant some of the pictures are. They're fantastic! The action images help set the scene of battles perfectly, the images depicting the settings are spectacularly well chosen, and even the dramatic scenes, with mild action, are chosen with picturesque melody:

    The Assassin slowly moved in. He drew out his dagger and watched as the Emperor began to speak. This was the perfect moment. He yelled and ran forward. Nova turned alert and blocked him, pushing him to the floor.

    Just to keep a little bit of mystery on my end, I don't search for the sources of these images, as each new chapter has at least a few great images in it. One could certainly spend several minutes gazing the detail in each image. The graphics in this story truly amplify the descriptive writing and dialogue that it serves to imagine.

    Some additional images that shall remain mysterious, unless you read the story:
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 




    Critique
    This story, without a doubt, has been craftily planned out in advance. The authors have gone above and beyond to produce a quality fantasy tale, with an interesting and mysteriously immense lore.

    The imagery is relatively flawless in production. They picturesque setting helps to truly set the mood for the read, and the selection of images arguably couldn't be better than those selected. This is a major plus to story's unique settings.

    As identified in the commentary of the story thread, when an author gets so into writing their masterpieces, they can often overlook some key aspects of their writing, such as the presentation of the story, and if there could be an alternate, and possibly more effective way to rephrase it. This is a difficult task indeed, as English is in fact the secondary language of the author, as he has admitted, which in turn, will also undoubtedly effect grammar in some parts, but it is almost barely noticeable, as he so beautifully presents this amazing story. It is definitely a demon he will struggle with presenting, as the story continues, but his efforts for perfection are a testament to his dedication to the production of this story, which is a mega plus. With consistent and meticulous editing, the potential for a near-flawless piece is most certainly there.

    The writing style he uses for providing the story to us is unique and a fancy complement to the spectacular writing. The one qualm noticed here, is the size of the text could potentially pose a problem for reading. Repetitive reading at this size, including the fact it's italicized, could present problems for the aesthetic production of the story, where a more efficient font size would appeal to a broader audience spectrum.

    With the introduction of so many different factions it can become a bit confusing, as there is yet no active compendium of knowledge from which one may review each faction individually. Though the story is still in its upstart in development (at least what has been provided for the reading audience), a story with so many big players could certainly be better accompanied with an organized collection of factions, characters, places, and creatures, for easy reference if the story becomes a little too confusing - as is possible with epic serials.

    Final Thoughts
    It is with unequivocal certainty that I am confident enough to recommend this read to the many patrons of our fine forum. This story has the potential to become a highly achievable marvel to fantasy writing. The potential for an unending serial is there. The author has admittedly already written nearly thirty chapters, and there is much more to come.

    I have been a keen follower of this story since its release and I will continue to do so, as it accommodates my dramatic and violent fix (for reading material, of course). This is truly a masterpiece in the making and cannot receive enough praise for its unrivaled originality and presentation, that leaves its readers yearning for more.


    Tale of Rome
    A tale by Rex Anglorvm.
    Review by Legio Italica.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    "Tale of Rome" is a short story by the “Wrinkly Wordsmith,” Rex Anglorvm. While I can't comment on the state of this prolific writer's skin, I can certainly vouch for his work with that iconic quill pen. In this latest epic, we follow the life of one Lucius Ulpius Verres, a young Roman legionary from humble beginnings who, like so many others of his more obscure countrymen, has a chance to make a name for himself when he joins the rank and file of the Sixth Legion. Throughout the story, the characters and elements surrounding the protagonist are developed and explored along with young Lucius as the saga progresses.

    The tale begins in the streets of Rome, where our protagonist, then a boy, struggles helplessly against a pair of cruel and belligerent bullies. Over the first few chapters, readers are introduced to Lucius in flashbacks; covering the main theme of his time in the legion, then returning to boyhood. Thus, in a common but creative manner, the author is able to connect and develop various aspects of the protagonist without having to adhere to the monotony of mere chronology. Able use of this technique can also keep readers guessing, eager to find out more about the main character or characters and their “background.” Producing this effect, however, requires some skill. Oftentimes, “flashbacks” become disjointed and confusing, interrupting the story rather than contributing to it. This is one more reason why I find Rex's work here so commendable. He uses the “flashback” tool very well, inserting a “background” chapter at just the right time, and including just the right amount of relevant details. Each is placed specifically to expound on an element of the main theme, while also leaving plenty of mystery to keep us reading more.

    As one continues on, he or she may realize that a modest knowledge of Classical Roman history is almost necessary to fully appreciate the more finite details of the story; geography, context, location, titles of officers, geopolitical forces at play during the time in which the story takes place, social structure, etc. While I found this to be an engrossing facet of the story, some readers might initially find themselves searching for context or syntax as new themes and places are introduced. Hence, I will leave it to individual judgment whether the historical detail is a strength or weakness here. Whilst Rex brings his considerable knowledge of the Roman Republic and her legions to bear, he also adds familiar dimensions to help the story break free from a strictly historical context. For example, the author adds dynamic tension between field commanders and the bureaucracy and politics that ultimately control the former to a great extent; a phenomenon well-known to leaders of a more modern sort. This element adds a wealth of depth to the story, and of opportunity for new characters and plot developments that Rex seems so adept at in order to layer and move the narrative along. Rex introduces another important facet of the saga, exploring individual characters or themes to introduce or explain new developments, including senatorial intrigue and a Gallic perspective. Thus, in characteristic fashion, the author continues to layer his story in a manner that becomes more intricate and yet makes the general plot clearer and more effective. This is first used to bring an emerging “villain,” Senator Olvidus, into the tale while also leaving readers eager for the next installment. By the fifteenth update, the dubious mystery of this ruthless opportunist, the plebeian gangs of the Roman inner city, and the web of past drama that connects it all together begins to read like a television drama.. Rex brings his readers this same possibly professional level of an episode-based storyline, and by all appearances, they love him for it.

    The story continues to build in intensity as Lucius and his comrades confront not only a dark past in the streets of Rome, but none other than Hannibal Barca himself in the woodlands and countrysides of the Italian peninsula. Each new chapter brings an almost viscous level of love, loss, betrayal, and vengeance. Finally, past and present collide in a final battle that will decide whether Lucius shall triumph over his past or fall to the demons that so haunt his every move. With that, the story leaves our brave protagonist and his towering Greek companion Andronicus fighting for their lives in pitched combat. Does such a finale indicate a deliberate end to a tale left in perpetual turmoil, or an unfinished work, awaiting further inspiration? Perhaps if the reader cannot decide, only time will tell......

    Articles

    Interactive AARs
    An article by Kybrothillian.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    It is doubtless that most AARs are going to be of the usual type, being completely controlled by the writer in their story line and plot, while other people come to read the progress. In such AARs, the writer does everything, although he might take in suggestions from the readers if he wants to. However, there are some instances of the writer making a request to the readers to decide on some matter of the AAR. It could be just a simple of question like “Should I attack this or that faction in the game?” or “should the main character do this or that next?”, and this is usually the case with most instances.

    However, the writer can go more complex with this if he wants to. He could place the whole direction of the campaign behind the AAR at the shoulders of the readers. This will then mean that the players will decide what faction will be attacked, what sort of an army is built etc. When such a mechanic is implemented to an AAR, it will often be accompanied by a set of rules, which indicate the readers how the decision making is done. At the basic level these include proposing an act as well as agreeing or disagreeing with the act. There may also be elections, where either a reader (or should they be in this case be called players?) or an in game character is voted for a position of importance, and law proposals where a restricting law is voted on. Interactive AARs also allow substantial freedom to the players to develop their own characters to role play with during the AAR. Due to these factors, one could consider interactive AARs to be more similar to the RPG forum games rather than your usual AAR. Of course, one could also call them group hosted AARs because of the amount of people participating in the progress of the AAR.

    What the writer of such an AAR should keep in mind though, is that the story side of AARs can be used in interactive/participative AARs to enrich the flavor of the work. The readers would often make their own characters to use, but the writer should consider some of his own as well. The AAR could be mainly about letting the readers dictate the campaigns direction while the writer uses side characters to describe and inform of things in the update, or the writer could make a full story with a proper plot to go side by side with the “game” part of the AAR, or anything in between. Whichever way the writer goes, the story aspect should be taken into account. Of course I am not saying it’s compulsory, but I’d like to endorse it.

    After some quick searching into TWC, I was only able to locate eight actual attempts to make interactive AARs. It’s fairly possible that I missed some AARs. But let’s see the found ones here:

    The very first interactive AARs were the Will of the Purpurati - An Interactive Seleucid Empire AAR and
    the [SS AAR/CG] Interactive Venetian AAR. Will of the Purpurati managed to beat the Venetian AAR by a few months, appearing on July 2008. According to the OP of the thread, the idea for an interactive AAR came from out after readers had been making suggestions for game moves in the writer’s (DictatorFish) previous AAR. Thus the writer went on to make a new AAR, where he would directly ask for directions in the campaign from the readers. In this way, his AAR went on a few updates, until at September it died out. The Venetian AAR was started in October, and in this one there would have been a bit more complex system of rules, including sharing the game funds between the writer and the readers. However the AAR was sadly shut down before its first update could come, and the writer never made a new thread like he said he would.

    Perhaps one of the most large-scaled and complex interactive AARs is the “You are the senate” game. While technically an RPG game, the players did use Rome total war and its mods to create their updates. The game had an AAR like update thread here, where some update posts were made in 2010. The RPG has fallen very much inactive now, with last proper activities back in 2011.

    Next up is [EB AAR] Koinon Hellenon: Athens X Sparta (.org X TWCenter), a participative AAR - Sparte. This one is my personal favorite, for the simple reason that it was the first AAR I came to read (and participate in), while I was still a newly registered member in TWC, wandering around in the Total War Eras AAR section. Started in January 2011, this interactive AAR was remarkable and inventive in several ways compared to both previous and following AARs. Firstly it had a comprehensive OP that explained the game rules in high detail. The AAR involved different types of sessions (those intervals at which readers make their proposals and such) as well as a rising civil war meter, and also had a selection of imagery and media, thanks to the artistic nature of the writer (Molina). Secondly, this AAR was hosted over not one, but two sites! The thread for the Sparta side was hosted at TWC, while the Athens thread was hosted at Total War .org. Thanks to this the AAR became very interesting, with the direction of the played faction facing diverged goals by the two parties (not to mention all the spying and role played assassinations and executions). Thirdly, this was the only interactive AAR to ever reach an official ending, which none other so far has reached. The first phase was happily ended when the civil war meter got full from the different interests of Sparta and Athens. Sadly however, the planned second phase involving the civil war itself never came, as Molina seemed to have sunken to the depths of real life issues. Still the uniqueness of the Koinon Hellenon AAR made it a real pioneer and trailblazer, an inspiration for all interactive AARs that were started after it.

    Speaking of these successors, the very first of them came out a few months after the Koinon Hellenon AAR had ended. [FoR AAR] The way the Crow fly's A Saxon Participative AAR was made by Sekiryutei (back then Savage Feat, and also one of the followers of Molinas AAR) to pass time until the part 2 of KH AAR would be released. Since this AAR was not going to happen over another forum besides TWC, the different parties (tribes in this case) would all be formed at TWC, and have their secret talk meetings in social groups. I happened to join this game too (even started my own party/tribe, but was left the only member of it), and it went on for a few updates, until dying out.

    A new interactive AAR made an appearance only next year. In July 2012, Rex Germaius started the [EB AAR] SenatusPopulusqueRomanus - An Interactive AAR, which centered on the Romans in Europa Barbarorum. The mechanics were a simplified version of KH AAR, as elections and law proposals were not used. Of the successor AARs, this one is so far the most successful one, having gone through 9 updates in total. The AAR gained the interest of many forum users, who joined in to participate and added a heavy amount of roleplaying. Unfortunately I was embroiled with other parts of TWC at that time and didn’t become aware of it until it was too late. The AAR was not to last, as the writer put his work on indefinite suspension, and didn’t return to continue.

    A few months earlier, the nostalgic memories and a thought of starting a new interactive AAR came to my mind. I did not hesitate, and launched the Concilium Britanniae participative AAR. I attempted to fit the mechanics of Molinas AAR into the setting and theme I had chosen (that being post-Roman Britain) in the best way, and then wait for participants. However, my AAR was left without much voluntary followers (perhaps the choice of setting was the main factor) and I had to resort into advertising my AAR around and contacting potentially interested people to join. Even then the activity wasn’t left particularly high, and despite managing to squeeze out more than a few updates, I was forced to quietly abandon the AAR.

    But something good may have come out of that attempt at least. ☩Lord Inquisitor Derpy Hooves☩ got inspired by my AAR, and started out his own, The Prussian Republic - Participatory AAR (which I wrote a review for as well. You can find it in this Critics quill episode). So far the first Empire total war attempt for an interactive AAR, this AAR had very much the same core rules of proposing and agreeing/disagreeing motions (with some limitations as well), plus it tried to add some other features, such as influence, elections involving the readers, as well as the ability for each player to have their own in game unit. The AARs faction was also decided with a thread pool in the start. However, right now the AAR has gone quiet for some time, with the lack of activity shutting down the progress. The AAR can still be saved from suspension though, since if enough people show interest for it, the writer might continue his work. So like I said in the review as well, if you’d like to see this AAR go forward more than the few updates it has had, you should go and participate (as the name says).

    So those were the existing Total War AARs. However, if new interactive AARs were to be started, I’d like them to consider the points I raised above. In addition, the writer should pay heed to the theme and setting he’s choosing. It seems like Rome Total War and its mods might be the best bet when starting an interactive AAR, as the more successful ones have been held with them. All in all, the interest of readers is highly important for interactive AARs, thus make sure that you will absolutely get them. So good luck for anyone, who starts a new interactive AAR and for everyone continuing an existing one. I will be sure to pay a visit to them, as I’d like to see an AAR that makes it to the finish line.


    A parallel between story based AARs and screenshot based AARs
    An article by Maximinus Thrax.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    I’d like to bring into discussion a rather unconventional categorization, which analyzes the predominance of screenshots in AARs. Over the years, I’ve noticed that, when it comes to the general content, there are two main types of After Action Reports – story-based and screenshots-based.
    The first category is the story-driven AAR which employs a wide range of narrative techniques, beside gameplay elements. Because of that, the screenshots play an accessory role in this case.

    The second category consists of works which rely heavily on the visual aspects of the campaign, meaning that the authors would almost always emphasize the game itself rather than the possible creative aspects stemming from their gaming sessions. The most important part of such AARs are, of course, the in-game screenshots, everything else tending to have a subordinate function.

    The purpose of this article is to outline the main characteristics of each category by placing them both in an apparent antithesis, while trying to maintain an objective perspective at all times. The presence of this particular method doesn’t necessarily mean that the first category is worse than the other, or viceversa.

    So let’s start then…

    Story-based AARs

    1. Writing a story-based AAR takes a lot of commitment, practice and basic knowledge regarding the literary aspects involved in the process.
    2. An author will always seek to expand his gameplay experience into the realm of fiction, by adding more complexity to the story through the insertion of additional plots, events and characters. Each of these elements represents a different goal in the overall economy of the AAR. 3. 3. It’s more than obvious that only a handful of such AARs ever get completed due to various reasons, which I’m not going to mention here. Completing an AAR is probably the hardest thing to achieve.
    4. The intense use of screenshots is not widespread in this case, since most authors can write pages upon pages based on a single in-game capture. Some have mastered their craft to such a degree that they don’t even need to employ screenshots anymore.
    5. The bulk of readers is comprised of other authors striving to hone their skills, and people who are following a particular work purely for its entertaining and, why not, literary value.


    VS


    Screenshot-based AARs
    1. Hands down, it’s the most accessible AAR format around. Any first-time author can create his own AAR as long as he previously installed the game, along with any screen capture software. I’ve seen quite a lot of such works where the author usually accompanies each screenshot with no more than a sentence to serve as a basic explanation. Another important aspect is that the author doesn’t always need to possess a high proficiency in English language.
    2. Most of the time, this kind of AAR has only one goal, whether is about translating the personal gaming experience to a wider audience or showing off one’s skill.
    3. Because of its simple structure, a screenshot-based AAR has a higher chance of getting completed, because there is less effort involved.
    4. It is said that a picture is worth a thousands words. I mostly agree with that, as long as the author has taken care of editing the available materials, and also used only the most meaningful screenshots.
    5. Some readers will favour screenshots over massive walls of text, since it’s easier to keep track of everything when looking at a bunch of mere pictures. You can always tell that their interest lies mainly in the strategic side and other gameplay mechanics.


    So what kind of conclusion can be drawn from this comparison, you might ask? Probably the most important conclusion could be that, in the end, it doesn’t really matter what kind of AAR an author prefers, as long as he avoids any shallow approach. Having fun with the game, planning and editing, these are the three main ingredients for any successful AAR.

    As far as I’m concerned, and especially as a member of the TWC writing community, all authors should focus more on the literary parts of their works, and less on the technical facets. People from other forums would probably find these works tedious at best, since their taste is suited more for Let’s Play sessions or other similar formats.


    Legendariums: A Necessary Compendium of Organized Knowledge
    An article by Dance.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    One might wonder how George R.R. Martin, George Lucas, or J.R.R. Tolkien are able to develop such complex universes, that are seemingly boundless in the larger spectrum of the creative imagination. To develop Middle Earth, Westeros, and the Star Wars Galaxy, is more than just jotting down a place, some characters, and a well-written scene. There is a lot more too it than that.

    When you create a character, you now have an addition to your—as I like to call it—legendarium (as a synonym for a more common term these days, "wiki"). With this new character, you have already begun the road to establishing a collective base of knowledge and writings, that relate to your story's universe. One character may lead to two, then three, and eventually fifty. Consider it like managing a team. Each team member is unique in their own way, and as the manager you should be familiar with them. In this case, the manager is the author, and the team members are your characters. The author is responsible for directing their characters to where they need to be, and how they need to be, in order to properly reflect the story as envisioned. Each character serves a purpose - hence their creation.

    For example:
    Big Johnny is large and intimidating, and uses his monstrous size to his advantage in the hallways, to instill a sense of fear in the smaller kids, especially Billy, whom hes picked on everyday since he's known him. His bullying antics always impressed his friends.

    Then, when recalling Big Johnny at a later time...

    Big Johnny was at the diner, when he came across Billy and some of his friends, as they traded Pokemon cards.

    Sitting across from Billy and his friends, were Big Johnny's friends. They were heckling Billy and his friends.

    Big Johnny walked by the table and stood up for Billy.
    This may be a pretty simplistic example I'm using, but inconsistencies in writing happen quite often, even by professional authors.

    The two perceptions given of this character would then contradict one another.

    When establishing key personality traits, and ways of speech for a character, it is important to keep to these established details, so as not to contradict previous personality trait establishments, later on. This goes for an assortment of things.

    Another aspect of organization, so as to avoid contradiction later on, is distance traveled within the real time of the story.

    For example:
    Lord James fled Covington Castle last night, under cover of darkness, with the news he's learned...

    The next morning (but a few chapters later)

    Lord James and his entourage arrived in Paris, with news that the English King hopes to wage war!
    There are an assortment of ways in which one can compile their knowledge.

    The one I will emphasize on (particularly one I like and thinks work wonderously, while writing chapter-by-chapter submissions on the forums):
    Chapter Ten
    Characters (may contain spoilers)
    Legend:
    - In square brackets: The pronunciation of the character's name.
    - In round brackets: The character's age, as per the current chapter.
    - In individual spoilers: The character's current status, as per the current chapter.

    Corinthians:


    Memnon
    (Age 33)
    Memnon was the youngest son of Cleon. He was calm and collected. He rarely loses his anger, but when he does, he is a force to be reckoned with.

    Memnon is very handsome, with a strong jawline, impeccable physique, and has a sharp-witted tongue, which sometimes gets him into mischief with the wrong people...
    Spoiler for [I
    Current Status (WARNING: SPOILER)[/I]]Memon survived the assassination attempt on his life, in 278 BC, and has since been garnering support to retaliate.


    Cleitos [Cly-Toss]
    (Age 32)
    Cleitos was a childhood friend of Memnon. The two had grown up and been schooled together, under Polyarchus.

    Cleitos had a fair complexion, and kept a constant beard. He was hot-headed and vulgar.
    Spoiler for [I
    Current Status (WARNING: SPOILER)[/I]:]Kleitos was killed at the Battle of Euripides, in 279 BC.


    Insert your Chapter 10 content here.

    In my own 17-chapter-long story, I instituted this form of reference, in order to make the extensive character list more easy for the readers to reference. It has actually had quite some effect on my own ability to maintain a constant flow of characters, with correct knowledge, by the fact I update the list with each new chapter, and thus am able to reiterate the different characters to myself, subconsciously, and keep them in my mind, without losing focus.

    All compendiums of knowledge started with one sentence. When George R.R. Martin wrote 'A Game of Thrones', in the early 1990's, the series we all behold now, nearly two decades later, it was a dream, one he put aside for a few years, before seriously continuing. Most authors cannot simply create a character, and throw them aside in their mind, while they create hundreds more, and then simply recollect the details of that character's looks, personality, demeanor, and importance out of the blue. With the possibly of hiatuses, or other complicating triggers of life that may hinder immediate progression, and push the work weeks, months, or even years after they last used the character/or story.

    To write an accurate depiction of that character—in keeping with how they were first established—is a difficult task, the more and more that is added to your story. It can get to be quite difficult to manage the different personality traits, and the accurate descriptions of these characters.

    Instead, instituting a system that best suits your own way of referencing, in order to keep to the story as accurate and flawless as you can, is the ideal way to maintain the overall organization required to establish your masterpiece(s).

    One day, when your an established author, someone may just do it all in a Wikia for you. But, until then, and for your own external notes, it is wisest to compile and control the information yourself in as easy a way as you can, and so you're not stuck sifting through your own chapters trying to come up with the smallest thing.

    This is an ideal asset that can assist in writing novels, short stories, and also apply to AARt!


    The State of the Shogun 2 AAR sub-forum
    An insight by Merchant of Venice.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    4! That is how many pages of AARs there are for the Shogun 2 AAR sub-forum.

    67! That is how many pages there are for the Medieval 2 AAR sub-forum.

    That is only 4 pages away from equaling the number of threads in the Shogun 2 AAR sub-forum But why can I count the number of pages for Shogun 2 AARs on one hand? And why are there not more, even after two years since the game came out? Is it something to do with the game or with the setting? I say it is both. But then what is the future of Shogun 2 AARs? With the impending release of Rome 2 will this sub-forum die out?

    Shogun 2: The Game
    Shogun 2 is a marvelous game. A game with mesmerizing graphics and addictive gameplay to keep you hooked for hours upon hours. But for many avid Total War players., Shogun 2 still doesn’t stand up to the older games, most notably Rome and Medieval 2. And perhaps that is why there are so little Shogun 2 AARs. Maybe it is because no one plays the game enough and enjoys it enough to write about it? After hundreds of hours of playing a game that game may become rather stale in some player’s minds. The lack of major overhaul mods could also contribute to the lack of AARs for this game. Some of the most played mods for Rome are Roma Surrectum and Europa Barbarorum and for Medieval 2, Stainless Steel and Third Age: Total War. With the obvious exception of Third Age: Total War, all the aforementioned mods aim to add historical depth as well as more gameplay features to their respective games, making them arguably more enjoyable then the game they are based on. For Shogun 2 though, mods like these are harder to find. There are of mods such as The Sekigahara Campaign, DarthMod and The Rights of Man 3 but these are really the only overhaul mods for Shogun 2. Now, despite these mods being fantastic, the lack of variety and overall lack of abundance of mods, leaves many people going back to the earlier games. Can this perhaps be the reason? Do the Shogun 2 AARs suffer because of the game they are based on?

    Shogun 2: The Setting
    Sengoku era Japan is a marvelous setting for any game. With samurai, ninjas and the near constant state of warfare, it is a pretty good setup for a strategy game like Total War. But ask a person who hasn’t played the game what the Shogun was, what a no-dachi is or what were the Ikko-Ikki and they may struggle to give you an answer. But ask someone what the Knights Templars were, who fought in the crusades or ask them to explain the feudal system then they most probably will be able to give you an answer. Now maybe that is where the problem lies. It is easier to write about things you have knowledge of then to write about stuff you don’t. Many people know about samurai or ninjas through anime and manga but do many people know who the Tiger of Kai was? I myself knew very little about medieval Japan before playing Shogun 2 but since I first delved into to the world of Sengoku era Japan, with its intense clan rivalries and political machinations, I have become fixated with the subject just as I was when I first played Medieval 2 or Rome. Despite having a great setting for a story, Shogun 2 suffers from the fact that many westerners are uninterested with medieval Japan. Maybe they are interested, but they still are more interested and have, more importantly, more knowledge of Antiquity or the Crusades and so choose to write about the struggles of the barbarians against the might of Rome than the journey a clan leader takes from vassal to Shogun, military leader of all of Japan. I think it is this, combined with the lack of mods, that is the reason why Shogun 2 AARs are so few in number.

    Current AARs
    Yet despite the potential turn offs of writing an AAR based on Shogun 2, there are some that have caught my eye and have the potential to be special. The first one is f0ma’s “Road to Kyoto”, an AAR based on the Shogun 2 expansion, Rise of the Samurai. It follows Fujiwara Kunihira as he attempts to restore his clan to its former glory. It starts of with the clan originally divided then continues to follow his bloodstained path to the ultimate goal; Kyoto. What really caught my eye with this AAR is the author’s ability to create interesting and diverse characters, their ability to create thrilling battle descriptions as well as the numerous stunning pictures, which really showcase Shogun 2’s graphics. This particular AAR is about sixteen chapters through and already shows real potential.

    The second AAR, which caught my eye, was the recently created
    Nin-po; The Sword Above The Heart. This AAR, despite only being a few chapters through, is an excellent piece of creative writing. In fact, the author hasn’t even reached the point where the campaign is involved. The story follows a young man who is studying to be a shinobi, a ninja if you like. This AAR is more of a story or piece of creative writing at this point, yet when was that a bad thing! This is definitely an AAR with real potential.


    Lastly, there is my own AAR. It follows a young man by the name of Yuki, who has recently signed up to his clan’s armed forces, in attempt to see the world. He did not though, know that from now on his life would be radically different. He will laugh, he will cry but no longer will he be the simple farmer that he was. That life is gone. Now, this AAR is simply epic. It is mind-blowing, a masterpiece that will have you on the edge of your seat. Move over Skantarios, Radzeer and Robin, I am now the king of AARs! (Who said I couldn’t use the Quill to advertise!)


    Future of the sub-forum
    So what lies ahead for Shogun 2 AARs. To date, only two have been completed. Only two!But yet I still have hope for the future of Shogun 2 AARs. Because one of those two AARs, was the magnificent Takeda AAR done by our own Robin de Bodemloze. I hope that this brilliant piece of work may inspire more people to write about medieval Japan. Already there is promise. The last MAARC consisted of a tie-breaker between two Shogun 2 AARs. My own and f0ma’s Road to Kyoto. As well as this, an interesting new AAR is Nin-po; The Sword Above The Heart, which shows much promise and potential. The problem though is the actually finishing of these AARs. The Medieval 2 AAR sub-forum is littered with dead and unfinished AARs but survives because of the large number of finished AARs, which are so good that the other ones are forgotten. Same goes with Rome. But this is magnified in the Shogun 2 AAR sub-forum because of the lack of AARs that are actually finished. And so, one can only hope and pray that these AARs, along with many more, will finish and hopefully inspire more people to write about this fascinating era.


  3. #3
    m_1512's Avatar Quomodo vales?
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    Conclusion





    Thanks for joining us in this edition of the Quill. I hope you found it a worthwhile and enjoyable read. Please put a round of grand applause to the staff for bringing about the issue by their sheer hard work - Dance, Legio_Italic, Maximinus Thrax, Merchant of Venice, R-teen, and The Kybrothillian. Particular thanks to Dance for yet again penning an impressive four pieces making up the quarter of this edition. Perhaps one day he might even break the standing record of maximum articles in a single edition of the Quill (current record is 12).

    If you enjoyed the staff's efforts please leave your comments in this thread - and rep the authors generously.

    Until next time,

    The CQ team.



    If you find yourself at a loose end, then why not consider sampling some of the TWC publications or creative forums. It's easy, just click through the picture!



  4. #4

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    Great work team. Issue 40 should be as exceptional!

  5. #5

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    Great work guys, good to finally see it out after so long. Also good to see more creative writing reviews.

  6. #6
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    Thank you very much for the two reviews of my work, I can see that both reviewers have done their homework!

    The rest of the edition is great too!
    Last edited by Rex Anglorvm; October 06, 2013 at 06:07 AM.

  7. #7
    McScottish's Avatar The Scribbling Scotsman
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    What can I say...I'm amazing! I kid, I kid. This is, as usual, fantastic work from the Quill's team. Read the entire thing from top-to-bottom, loved each of the reviews and articles and can't wait for issue 40.

  8. #8

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    Well done lads. A great issue - onwards and upwards gents!
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  9. #9

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    Great job guys. They keep getting better and better.
    Of these facts there cannot be any shadow of doubt: for instance, that civil society was renovated in every part by Christian institutions; that in the strength of that renewal the human race was lifted up to better things-nay, that it was brought back from death to life, and to so excellent a life that nothing more perfect had been known before, or will come to be known in the ages that have yet to be. - Pope Leo XIII

  10. #10

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    great issue

  11. #11
    General Retreat's Avatar Policeman Pleb
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    I must admit this is the first issue of Critic's Quill I've actually read, and I'm kicking myself that I haven't looked in previously. Thanks to Merchant for pointing me this way. The article by Dance on legendariums is particularly useful, and I'm currently 'borrowing' his format for my own thread (again, nod to Merchant). Good stuff, guys!

    When's the next episode out?
    Swords of the Sea: 1066 has come and gone, the Danelaw torn down and a new kingdom built in the image of its Norman rulers. But with time, wounds heal and what is broken can be reforged. The Danes have returned with steel, and seek to reclaim what is theirs.
    The Great Expedition: Pax Anglia, one of Earth's great empires, sprawling across the stars. On their newly colonised planet of Nova Sydney, adventure awaits on the savage frontier - Henry Boyce steps forward to lead an expedition to pierce the Bushlands' wild heart.
    Winter War: Finland, 1939. The Soviet war machine has begun its indomitable advance from the east. Of all its neighbours, only Finland stands alone in defiance. Conscript Anton Bezrukov prepares for a quick victory, but the reality is far bloodier...

  12. #12
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    Good job guys, I've read through some of it this morning and I'll look forward to reading the articles.

    Looking forward to the next issue.
    THE WRITERS' STUDY | THE TRIBUNAL | THE CURIA | GUIDE FOR NEW MEMBERS



    PROUD PATRON OF JUNAIDI83, VETERAAN & CAILLAGH
    UNDER THE PATRONAGE OF MEGA TORTAS DE BODEMLOZE

  13. #13
    The Wandering Storyteller's Avatar Protector Domesticus
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    Quick reply as I hadn't seen this before but wow thanks for the review! The story has now reached 60 chapters now and I shall be updating on the 17th of June. Thanks again and I shall definitely be taking the feedback seriously.





















































  14. #14
    KhalFrodo's Avatar Semisalis
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 39

    I'm looking forward to Issue 40!

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