I Can't Change What's Real

[Audacia]

I Can't Change What's Real

I can't change what's real. But I can certainly try. I welcome you to a collection of my musical compositions and poetry. Here one can take reprieve from a stressful day to relax, listen, and read. I have been granted permission to present my music here, a first for the Writers' Study, and a decision that I hope will greatly benefit all who listen. Feel free to click the song titles, which will bring you to Soundcloud where my music can be played. I appreciate all comments, suggestions, and critique.

Music

What's Real - Instrumental - It's okay, just keep living your life unaware of what really matters. What's real anyway? Justice - Instrumental - Lead us, guide us, and direct us. Justice serves the world. For Her - For her, here, now, and forever. Dance With Me - What's the point? Forget about your dreams and dance. Right?

Poetry

Joy Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  Her beauty, like the warm, salty waves of the ocean Washes over me, soothing me For she is more divine Than the exquisite beaches of the world Her gaze, like the dancing flames of fire Stings gently, melting without pain For her passion is greater Than any scorching blaze Her kindness, like delicious chocolate on my tongue Sweetens my days with pleasure For she is more delectable Than the sweetest sugary treats Her love, like the warm blood in my veins Flows endlessly through my body For it keeps me more alive Than life itself The Spark Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  A spark flew in the night It jumped and danced with wonder I stopped and stared with fright The black sky crashed with thunder I lived a constant struggle Each day a painful blow Yet I remained ever watchful And fought life’s hellish undertow The dark clouds roared and rumbled Hard rain fell on my face I reached and nearly stumbled The spark still danced with grace I closed my hands around it And felt its warmth at once I realized I had found it A mark of providence A gust of wind blew suddenly The spark begot a fire Its dazzling flame enveloped me And filled my heart entire I swear that it was born that night The dream I dreamed proved true Dark clouds gave way to brilliant light My life began anew Frustration Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  Never knowing what I've done To upset the delicate balance, My insides pitter and patter Like a thousand drops of rain On the hard concrete sidewalk. A hundred pointy pins poke and prick My rough and ravished skin. Where can I find a remedy For my mind that swirls and swerves? I fight the angst with words. Tender Words Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  Full is the world of what love ought to be, A hundredfold words to paint it so true, Plucked notes of a song with smooth melody, Cannot describe that which I seek from you. Like sticky sap that seeps from battered bark, Charming marks of love make my stomach churn, To compare thy voice to that of a lark Is a likening I bitterly spurn. And yet when you lock thine eyes with my own, I succumb to thoughts of deep affection, And think I stare at beauty only known To he that hath witnessed true perfection; For the love which I seek to earn from you Is worth tender words so long as they’re true. Pitiful Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  Look at them walk around, See what they're wearing. Look at them talking now, Hear what they're saying. What's with that awful style, What's with that look. What's with that broken laugh, I can't stand it any more! Leather bag and jean coat, Venom stings but I don't. Fix your hair, your face, yourself, Can't you see you're pitiful? Look at them watch their friends, See how they scowl. Look at them watch themselves, See how they smile. What's with that nasty grin, How do they bear it? What's with that attitude, How do I bear it? Leather bag and jean coat, Venom stings but I don't. Fix your hair, your face, yourself, Can't you see you're pitiful? Peeling An Orange Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  A ripe round fruit hangs from a lazy limb, Its savory scent stimulates my desire; I reach to pluck it on a tempting whim, Against me it seems my senses conspire. I begin to peel its fiery skin, And work toward its mouthwatering core; Its sweet sticky juices seep from within, Roll off my hand, and fall upon the floor. I sink my teeth in the succulent flesh, A chilling shiver is sent up my spine; My inhibitions I hardly possess, My taste buds experience the divine. And though I am so deeply satisfied, My fervent craving will never subside. What If I’m Wrong? Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  What if I’m wrong about what I believe; About life and love and what I perceive? What if I’m failing to see what is real; A victim to what this world can conceal? Where do I look to discover the truth, And break the snare of impetuous youth? How do I know what path to set upon? For life’s free and full then suddenly gone. What really matters and why should I care, For people and things and what’s really fair? With uncertainty I faithfully trudge, Through the mire and muck before the judge. Rubbish Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  Is it rubbish or is it real? Do I really know? Can I really know what is real and what is rubbish; Is it all just frightfully here? Is there really any good; Or does everyone and everything simply exist? Neither good nor bad, neither happy nor sad, Living life under one shadowy banner. There is no line. There is only existence. So can you judge me when I only exist as you exist too? That is the horror of it all. Never Again Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  Never again do I wish to see your face so pale; So wrought with fear and helplessness. Never again do I wish to see your eyes so lost; Aimlessly searching for some sort of reason. Never again do I wish to see your tears Magnifying the freckles of your sweet face. Never again do I wish to have to say Words I know will pierce like pointed daggers. For God only knows what life would be Without your sweetening words and tender touch. And oh how simple this all must seem! Yet know these words I solemnly mean. Oblivious Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  I care not if this be daft; I must confess this is not my craft. The words and rhythm may not flow; You need not say it...believe me I know. Yet how else ought I note how I feel? These crazed thoughts I cannot conceal! Excuse my petty words of elation; I am overcome with such a sensation! You guessed it right I have a love, A darling I've been thinking of. She's loved me so without a doubt, And that's what this is all about. Oh what am I to do? I'm so young and she is too! Yet I cannot let her slip away; I lost her once that dreadful day. I will not make the same mistake. I cannot make the same mistake. I fought so hard and cried so long; Surely she must be the one. Surely she must be the one!

All work is the sole property of the pseudonym Audacia, is protected under United States Copyright Law, and cannot be sold or distributed.

[Rex Anglorvm]

I haven't had a chance to listen to the music yet, but I thought the poetry was rather good, I perferred the latter (The Spark) to the former (Joy).

I'm looked forward to listening to the music.

Rep+ for something original

Rex

[Shankbot de Bodemloze]

Unlike Rex I have listened to the music but not read the poems. I found they were nice to ahve on playing in the background.

I preferred "What's Real" until the very last bit over "Justice", but that was nice to listen to all the way through. The sound is nice, although they sounded (too my untrained ear) a bit similar.

I'll look forward greatly to waht seeing what you conjure up next.

+rep for the great idea.

[Audacia]

Thank you for the comments! I have updated the poetry section with a new poem, "Frustration," that I wrote today. For the next piece of music, I will be uploading an orchestral piece I'm currently working on.

I preferred "What's Real" until the very last bit over "Justice", but that was nice to listen to all the way through. The sound is nice, although they sounded (too my untrained ear) a bit similar.

Yes, the sounds of the two songs are similar, in terms of instrumentation, tempo and the like. However, the chord progressions are individually unique.

[Audacia]

I have updated the poetry section once again with "Tender Words," my first attempt at an English sonnet. Got to love iambic pentameter! Let me know what you think!

[Rex Anglorvm]

I'm no expert of things poetical, but Tender words had a nice flow to it, I certainly had the impression of a sonnet wrote in distant times

Rep+

[Audacia]

I'm no expert of things poetical, but Tender wordss had a nice flow to it, I certainly had the impression of a sonnet write in distant times

Rep+

Thank you! I tried emulating the styles of John Donne, and if I dare to say, William Shakespeare. I researched the proper forms of thou and believe I used them appropriately. I also tried using the first two quatrains (four lines each) to develop the main idea before using the last quatrain to state the narrator's change in heart. The couplet then explains the narrator's reasoning.

[Audacia]

The orchestral piece is nearly finished, though I must say it's been much more difficult to write than the pop-rock I'm accustomed to. I'll be taking a break from cellos, violins, and the like and will be returning to my roots for my next piece, which I've already started

[Audacia]

I have finally finished my orchestral piece and encourage you all to listen! As always, I appreciate your comments and suggestions. This piece was particularly inspired by a special someone, you know who you are!

For Her

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Audacia]

I have finished another poem, titled "Pitiful." It's a bit abstract, so I would like to see if any of you want to take a shot at guessing its message and meaning! Let me know what you think!

[Rex Anglorvm]

A tad abstract, but quite nice too

I've yet to check out your musical entries, but will do soon.

Rep for the latest poetry

[Shankbot de Bodemloze]

I unlike Rex have only listened to the music stuff...

I liked the different tempo of this one, the repeating motif is nice and about about 0:30/0:40 when those strings(?) come is is very good. The change in beat at 1:00 is well compose, the extra instruments help build it up nicely, yet there is still that underlying motif throughout.

Overall very good. Now when will there be vocals?

+rep

[Audacia]

I unlike Rex have only listened to the music stuff...

I liked the different tempo of this one, the repeating motif is nice and about about 0:30/0:40 when those strings(?) come is is very good. The change in beat at 1:00 is well compose, the extra instruments help build it up nicely, yet there is still that underlying motif throughout.

Overall very good. Now when will there be vocals?

+rep

Thank you very much for the kind words Shankbot! Yes, what you hear are strings, cellos, violas, violins, and the like. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Regarding vocals, let's just say I'm a bit unsure of my own voice. However, I do have a friend who happens to be a stellar singer, so at some point I may write lyrics and record him.

[Shankbot de Bodemloze]

They were a nice touch.

I'll look forward to hearing what you produce.

[Audacia]

I present you with a new sonnet I hope you all enjoy.

Peeling An Orange

A ripe round fruit hangs from a lazy limb,
Its savory scent stimulates my desire;
I reach to pluck it on a tempting whim,
Against me it seems my senses conspire.
I begin to peel its fiery skin,
And work toward its mouthwatering core;
Its sweet sticky juices seep from within,
Roll off my hand, and fall upon the floor.
I sink my teeth in the succulent flesh,
A chilling shiver is sent up my spine;
My inhibitions I hardly possess,
My taste buds experience the divine.

And though I am so deeply satisfied,
My fervent craving will never subside.

[Rex Anglorvm]

A rather 'fruity' poem, but I liked it

Rep+

[Audacia]

A rather 'fruity' poem, but I liked it

Rep (when able)+

But is there more to it Rex! Look at the symbolism, dive into the language, explore the words for a hidden meaning

[Rex Anglorvm]

But is there more to it Rex! Look at the symbolism, dive into the language, explore the words for a hidden meaning

Yes I picked up the hidden symbolism, hence the 'fruity' label too can be both read and perceived in different ways

[Aru]

Very good poems, I enjoyed reading them, specially the Orange one. Not so much the love poems, but I despise love poetry. Technically they're on the (high) level of others.

[Shankbot de Bodemloze]

Excellent work my friend, a very "open to interpenetration" poem...