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Thread: The Epic of Preamu [Chapter 17]

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    Default The Epic of Preamu [Chapter 17]

    Foreword: This will be a story about one of my Nationstates Nations greatest hero, Preamu.
    Nationstates is a forum game, with browser elements, as you create your own nation and dictate
    everyday matters. It also has a strong RP component, as you alone decide how your nation looks,
    feels and what itīs history is. I can only recommend the game and the site.

    My Nation Liugark (http://www.nationstates.net/nation=l...etail=factbook) is a nation of people
    who trace their lineage back to their nomadic beginnings.

    They are of Turkic stock, first occuring in history as a splinter tribe of the mighty Xiong Nu.
    Their home is the Gansu and and at the western banks of the Yellow
    River in Lanzhou. I will write a brief summary about them down.

    Spoiler for Brief History

    The Liugan (or Liu) Ethnicity orginated from Gansu and the Quilian mountains and at the banks of the Yellow River. Many Historians assume that they came from the Quilian Mountains in 800 B.C. and since then roved at the western banks of the Yellow River,Gansu and the Quilian Mountains, which they called home. They get mentioned first in 200 A.D. as a member tribe of the Xiong-Nu (at this time the southern Xiong-Nu). In the same century, they declared independence from the shattering Xiong Nu State. Most historians state that they are of Turk stock being related to the Xiong-Nu.


    Raiding northern Han settlements and Tuyuhun nomadic caravans, they got famed for their skill as typical nomad horse-archers, who also employed a melee cavalry type of fighting. To even pass the Silk Road successfully, Caravans had to pay tribute to the
    lords of the Gansu Valley. Multiple Han armies were defeated, leaving the Han with no control of the Silk Road. Soon enough, the Liu overtook the lands of the Liang to their west, forcing them to migrate westwards.



    The early Liu were a typical steppe people, having no script, history being told by bards and fathers to sons.They placed the skulls of the enemies a man has decapitated in his life before his Kurgan. It was not uncommon for Liu Chieftains and the Khan to drink
    out of the head of his enemy. They were nomads, searching graze able pasture in their lands and sometimes beyond. The tribal warriors were split into regular and heavy cavalry, the latter reserved for nobles or experienced warriors. The regular tribesman was clad in linen with fur, leather boots. He wielded a compact composite bow, additionaly a sword or a mace. Heavier Lancers or even Cataphracts were clad in lamellar or scale armour, laminar armour on their arms. Chainmail was unknown to them at the time. They wielded long lances, a composite bow, small shields, a mace or a sword. The sword of the Liu was clearly influenced by Han technology.


    In 485 A.D., years after the fall of the mighty Xiong-nu, the Liu Khan Bramu extended the rule of the Liu Khanate, raiding Wei Territories and forcing them to pay tribute. Now he settled his eye on the west, on the Tarim Basin, which was populated by the White Huns. Former brothers of the Liu, these men were descendants of the Xiong-nu just as them. Bramu was known as a reformer, envisioning a more settled life for the Liu, even setting up a permanent camp at the banks of the Yellow River (this camp is the place of todays capital Karahitu).

    He also brought in many chinese bureocrats and scriptors, lectoring himself and multiple servants, setting
    the base for a change of vocal to written history. He also modeled a infantry force, consisting of subjugated
    people and mercenaries of the Wei.Because of his revolutionary thinking he got many enemies.



    Please read this little information, as the story will start around this time, first describing the
    early years and upcomings of Preamu.

    For any further questions about Liugark and the Liu, please ask me here or look for yourself
    in my nations factbook.

    Any comments, recommendations or help in general is more than welcome. I hope all of you
    who read this story will enjoy it, and just have a good time. You may be forced to google
    some tribes and nations, as I try to be as historical accurate and authentic, apart from my
    freely made up Liu.

    And without further ado, letīs begin the story !

    Excellent music to listen to while reading ( immersive):

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    or any other Steppe inspired
    music.


    Spoiler for Pictures relevant to the story

    Qilian Mountains, birthplace of Preamu.


    Gansu, home of the Liu.



    Chapters

    Foreword

    CHAPTER I.: The young Preamu

    1. Those beautiful Mountains

    2. Stream

    3. Bhur

    4. Shadow of the Steppes

    5. Preamu and Numu

    6. The Tiger of Gansu

    7. Exile


    8. A Jewel of the East


    9. Way back Home

    10. Father and Son, Tiger and Eagle

    11. The Calm before the Storm

    12. Leader of Men

    13. Preamu, Warrior


    14. When the Sky crumbles

    15. To hunt a Jackal

    16. A scent of Jasmine

    Last edited by Marvzilla; June 22, 2013 at 12:49 PM.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story]

    Preamu

    Preamu, son to Bramu, was one of the greatest heros
    this world has ever seen. Or should one call him conqueror ?
    Murderer ? Butcher ? Or even Nemesis of the civilised world ?

    All of this can be debated, but only one thing is for certain:
    Preamu has carved out one of the greatest Empires mankind
    has seen, Eurasia laid to his feet. From the vast steppes
    and mountains of his home in Gansu, to the warm and
    beautiful straits of Constantinople, all the people inbetween,
    poor or rich, noble or scum, warrior or poet called him master,
    lord, Khan....

    The truth is, there is no truth. In one campaign he liberated the
    people, in the next he massacred them to the last child. He was
    as wild as the winds and at the same time spoke like an diplomat
    of the Roman court. He was wise and strong, harsh to traitors but
    forgiving to his true friends. He was not one person, but many,
    caged in the hull of a mere mortal. There can be no truth, as
    there are no lies.

    He was Liu in Gansu, he was Hellen in Bactria, he was Persian in
    Ctesiphon, he was Roman in Constantinople. He loved his women
    and hated them, for they all wanted his wealth, but also him, the
    man. He hated his men, but also loved them, as they never forgot
    his mistakes but loved his victories. He was split, schizophrenic,
    like the earth itself. He was more human than all the people of
    his Empire together. But he was no human, as he was the
    carnage of the Steppes themselves.

    He was Preamu, greatest of the Liu, a friend of mankind, a
    conqueror and lover. He was what the Romans called Basileus,
    the Persians Shah, his people Khan.

    He was Preamu.
    Last edited by Marvzilla; December 21, 2012 at 05:22 PM.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story]

    Chapter I. : Those beautiful Mountains



    "Only the falcon is truly free, as he can spread his wings and can fly where no man can.
    He sees the petty world from above, and when he has grown old, he doesnīt spread
    his wings anymore. He just falls, and dies. Do you know why he dies ? No, itīs
    not the fall that kills him. He dies of a cold heart. The world he has seen from
    above has filled him with grief. "

    As the sun set itīs first beams of light on the majestic Qilian Mountains, the
    Khan of the Liu people hold his firstborn in his mighty hands. He was strong,
    that could Bramu see. But would he fall like the falcon ?

    "My son, there is still hope. As every man can make this world a better place.
    We just have to try ! "

    He lifted the toddler up in the air, eastwards, the sun shining in his young face.
    A strong wind blew over the plateau and dark clouds where only broken by the
    rising sun. It was truly a sight to behold.

    Bramus eyes were filled with tears. He kissed his son on the forehead and entered with
    him the little decorated tent, where shamans were doing their work. It smelled after
    jasmin, and in a dark corner laid a beautiful woman, sweating, bloodied.

    Bramu stepped over to her, the Shamans barely making place. He hold the little
    something towards her and she took it in her weak arms. She smiled, half crying.

    "Preamu."

    Bramu just nodded, barely able to hold his tears back.

    She grabbed his hand, gazing deep into his black eyes. Motionless both of them
    sat there, only the toddler moving slightly.

    "I canīt lose you ! You are my Queen ! "

    Tears flowed down his cheeks.

    "Donīt cry my man. Look, we have a beautiful son."

    "But you are my sun. Without you there is only rain."

    "And you are my sky. We are together, now or later. It doesnīt
    matter."

    Again she smiled weak. He did too, the tears still flowing.
    They sat like that for what seemed like an eternity.

    Then it rained.



    Bramu stepped out of the tent. Heavy raindrops fell onto him,
    cold and hard. He had his son firm in his arms.

    "Do you see this, son ? Your Mother loved those. They hold the
    sky, and the sky holds the sun. Those beautiful Mountains."

    Last edited by Marvzilla; January 17, 2013 at 06:03 PM.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story]

    Chapter II. : Stream



    Summer. The season when the mares get their foals and the stallions feed fat on grass.The season where the warm wind blows over the fields,over the streams, trouts and frogs living in it.The season where the young men become unsteady and hunted after every skirt possible.The summer is a good time, a time of prosperty and riches.

    Not for the young boy who just got slapped behind his head.

    "No ! I canīt believe you still donīt get this in your thick head, young one ! "

    Bramu was visibly angered at his son, who tried to hold back the tears of angerand pain.

    "You canīt just target the enemy general. The old ways hold true ! Harass,tire and break your enemy before you charge. If needed, you fake a retreatand fight when your opponent is in unfavorable conditions ! "

    "But Alexander didnīt fight like that ! He charged Darius and nearly killedhim ! "

    Another mighty slap sent the young boy flying. His father got older, but he wasstill a man in his physical peak.

    "Alexander nearly lost that battle ! Thatīs what you get when you merit heroismabove security. Who leads the men when the General dies ? "

    Preamu laid on the ground, holding his left cheek. He cried, but didnīt wanted to.How often has his father hit him like that and he still cryied ? That had to stop !

    He slowly rose up, with a look of defiance on his face. Bramu sighed and turned,walking towards the camp.

    This was the summer camp of the Khan, the one he set up in the Gansu countryside.It was a small valley, and a little stream found his way through the grass. The forestedhills around were used as camp ground.
    Preamu sat down at the water. He didnīt cry anymore, but was still about to bawlagain. Why did his father only treat him so bad ? He never was as harsh to thechildren of the other tribe members. But he could be, heīs the Khan after all !Thatīs what Preamu thought atleast. Bramu was very hard to his only son,because he knew he had to toughen him and ready him up for the mightytasks that lay before him. In one year he would visit the Bhur, the militaricschool founded by Bramu, made for the tribal Aristrocracy and their sons.He knew that education was essential and that if Khanat of the Liuever should rose above itīs current
    position, it needed more than merenomads.Those opinions and reforms made him unpopular, as he also broughtthe script and alphabet to the Liu, imported from the late Han.

    Preamu was over it now and tried to grab a small trout with hisbare hands. The stream was not very deep, but deep enough fora six year old to drown in. Cautious and sharp Preamu watched onespecific trout, the one all the others seemed to follow.He concentrated on one particular moment and he sprang forward.This heroic leap didnīt get him a tasty trout, but a mouth full of water.He couldnīt swim, and the stream pulled him underwater.Suddenly a big hand grabbed him by his collar made out of fell.His father lifted him up, high above the ground. Preamu was ready to get the hardest beating his father has in reserve.

    But instead, he sat him down, slowly.

    "You see ? "

    "W-hat ? "

    "You canīt just attack the general. You will slip and drown inhis men. Watch."

    Bramu got to the stream, Preamu close behind him. Bramu goadedthe fish Preamu just targeted with a small piece of bread closer tothe shore. He grabbed after the fish, and when the trout tried to escape
    it was already on dry ground.

    "Goad your enemies into a position that is favorable to you. Donītrun into his arms, or you will perish."

    Preamu was left sitting alone, confused but enlightened.
    Last edited by Marvzilla; February 22, 2013 at 09:43 PM.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story]

    Chapter III. : Bhur



    Winter.

    The unforgiving season of the frozen water and harsh winds.
    The time when the earth froze. Life got hard in winter.

    And so did the nomads of the Gansu.

    Several Liu tribes started to raid Wei settlements just
    beyond the great Hwang Ho with itīs icy straits.

    This was the natural circle between the nomads and
    sedentary people. In autumn and winter the hordes
    from the endless plains raided the rich and fat farms
    of the settlers, in need of food and loot.

    The Wei, descendants of the formerly nomadic Toba
    were helpless against these attacks from the Liu, with
    their swift horses and retreatment tactics. Many stout
    Wei soldiers have fallen to the arrow and the sword.

    In this bitter time, another chapter of life started for
    Preamu, who know was eight years old. The Bhur,
    the militaric school founded by his father, for the
    sons of the aristocracy. At the age of eight, they
    learned to life as a Warrior, the refined their
    horseman and marksman skills. They learned
    Chinese script, they learned the epics of the Bards.

    Bramu also ordered the tutors, who were formed of
    old, experienced Warriors, Bards and Scriptors, to
    teach them the qualities and the commandment of
    Footsoldies, and how a sedentary General thinks
    and acts. They learned more of their own traditions,
    those which they didnīt knew yet. Why the title
    Chanyu was abandoned in favor of the title Khan
    or Khagan.

    They learned of the known world. Of the two
    big Chinese empires in the east, the Wei and
    the Qi. They learned of the nomadic Tuyuhun
    and Hephtalites, cousins of the Liu. They learned
    of the Taklamakan with itīs oasis and their
    city-states. They also learned that the Wei were
    triburaries of the Liu, that they had to pay them
    to keep off their homes, which they refused to do
    this very year. They learned of Bramus vision, to
    attack the Tuyuhun and expand the realm of the
    Liu, so that they could roam freely in the Hexi
    Corridor. They learned of the might Rouran
    Khanat, north of them, the descendants of the
    Hsien-Pi, the people who destroyed the last
    remnants of the Xiong Nu, the forebearers
    of the Liu.

    Preamu excelled in most subjects. Apart from
    those martial practices and lessons he learned
    something far more important : Friendship.

    He and the other boys soon formed a close knit
    group, motivating each other, dreaming of a future
    where Preamu was Khan and they all would sack
    the lands of the Wei and the Qi, just like Modu Chanyu
    did with the Han. They also listened to the imported tales
    of Megas Alexandros, in Preamus eyes the greatest man to
    ever live.

    "Give all you got Numu ! "

    The big, burly Yahzeer was known as a harsh drill-
    master, with a brutal training regimen.

    The daily unit of Wrestling was on, and Numu was
    clearly losing to the superior Preamu.

    "I will get you ! "

    Numu tried to spin out of the tight hold, but it
    didnīt worked. Preamu pinned him down and Yahzeer
    clapped in his hands, ordering the boys to seperate.

    "Good work Preamu. Numu, work on you strenght. Go to
    the lifting stone. "

    Numu was about to complain, but Yahzeer cut him off
    with a deadly gaze. Sighing he walked towards the
    heavy, round stone. Preamu clapped him on the shoulder.

    "Good fight. You nearly got me in the beginning. "

    "You are a good winner, Preamu. I just disrespected you
    with my weak performance."

    "No, you really gave your all."

    Numu slightly smiled, hanging his head in sadness.
    He was the closest friend Preamu got, they spent all their
    time together. Numu admired Preamu, and Preamu loved him
    for his loyality.

    The other boys were Cammuru, a strong and quick Wrestler,
    clearly better than the rest of them. Rudur, a fast learner
    who had great understanding for script and language. Utruru,
    the best horseman of the lot. Zarwu, the most intelligent one,
    with an affinity for logistics and tactics.

    They all were bound together like no one else.
    This close kinship should be tested often in their lifes.

    "But teacher, why do we not just invade the Wei headon,
    if we are so superior to them ? "

    "Well, Cammuru, your thick head again forgets the importance
    of strategy and logistics. The Wei have a clear advantage,
    as we are no adapt at taking their cities, yet. Our advantage
    is our swiftness, and for that to take in effect we need our
    free steppes. Their close and disgusting cities limit their
    and our movements. "

    "But we can just wrestle them down ! "

    "Haha, now you are just stubborn. You wonīt wrestle a man
    down if behind him is one waiting to kill you. Overthink
    this."

    "Yes, master."

    "I have another question ! "

    Tarqu sighed. The young utruru was maybe a great rider,
    especially for his age, but he had a maleviolent strain,
    that would make any professional killer proud.

    "Why do we not just torture them ? That would force them
    to subjugation ! "

    "Young Utruru, who has taught you anything about torture ?!"

    "No one, I just thought it would be a...."

    The other boys laughed as he got a light clap with the Bards
    route.

    "Thatīs not what we do. Overthink your foul words, young man !"

    "Yes, master."

    Utruru looked down with a angered grimasse.

    "Master."

    Preamu stood up. The small learning circle was situated on
    a small hill just at the mighty Hwang Ho. The old Bard loved
    this place, and saw it as the right place to teach.

    "Why do we not just set out to the west ? There are far greater
    riches than in the east. The Wei are weak and poor, but the people
    in the Taklamakan and beyond are riches. We always hear tales
    about the riches of Kashgar and this mighty Bactria, but no
    one tried to reach those places yet !"

    "Thats because we are mouffons !"

    Preamu was one of Tarqus favourite students. The future Khan
    was bright and expandive, a strain every great leader had.

    "We already control the entrance to China, why donīt we tighten
    this grip ? We could take all of the silk rout, but we are
    Mouffons, and thats why we are content with our little Gansu
    Valley and Qilian Mountains. In my opinion, we Liu are destined
    for greatness, we just have to grab it !"

    Preamu loved these lessons. Tarqu was not a typical Bard. He
    was far more open to the rest of the world, and saw beyond
    the great steppes. He had a vision of greatness, just like
    Preamu.

    "But always remember : One single man is easily corrupted.
    One single leader will fell all the greatness he has experienced."

    "Why is that ?"

    "Because might has the habit to devour men. Great success goes
    hand in hand with ones downfall."
    Last edited by Marvzilla; January 05, 2013 at 04:21 PM.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 3]

    Okay, so I want to hear some feedback on the font. Is it readable ? Is it comfortable to read ?

    If not I am going to change it.

    Also, here is a map so you can orientate a tad better as the story progresses. It shows the
    position of the Liu and their neighbours.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Ignore some of the northern Tuyuhun borders, as the Liu were far more widespread south, occupying almost all of the Qilian Mountains.


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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 3]

    Hey. A good story you have here! The font is readable, but as Radzeer has told me sometimes Italics can make a font hard to read!

    Personally I don't mind the Italics. It's your story

    Keep it up! +rep




    Proudly under the patronage of McScottish

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 3]

    Great story--you got me interested. I'm with Tigelinus: italics are not really what I'm used to reading, but like him I say it's your story--it's your choice of font. Italics aren't really that uncomfortable to read--just not usual, that's all. Keep up the great work, friend. Hawooh.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 3]

    Quote Originally Posted by wumpus View Post
    Great story--you got me interested. I'm with Tigelinus: italics are not really what I'm used to reading, but like him I say it's your story--it's your choice of font. Italics aren't really that uncomfortable to read--just not usual, that's all. Keep up the great work, friend. Hawooh.
    Thanks, and I am glad I got some readers early on. Yeah, itīs my story, but the readers should be
    comfortable reading it. If someone has problems I am more than willing to fix things, so it is as pleasant
    as possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigellinus View Post
    Hey. A good story you have here! The font is readable, but as Radzeer has told me sometimes Italics can make a font hard to read!

    Personally I don't mind the Italics. It's your story

    Keep it up! +rep
    Thank you very much.

    Expect a update today, if nothing comes inbetween. I was busy the last days, Christmas and
    all.

    Thanks for the kind comments.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 3]

    Chapter 4: Shadow of the Steppes



    It was Spring, the season of the migration from the
    winter quarters to the summer quarters. The Khagan
    and his Tribe were already on the move. Hundreds of
    riders, Wagons and herdes. Whistles and cries of the
    young Warriors filled the mild air of the lower reaches
    of the Qilian Mountains, steep and rocky.

    Preamu was 12 years old now. Only a few years and he
    would be officialy made Yagbu, second ruler of the Liu.
    He was now fully part of the Bhur, his day being made up
    of training, learning and the occasional herding, as even
    the sons of royality and aristocracy of the Liu were not
    excempt from lower work.

    Preamu was a lively boy, a good observer, intelligent and
    physical strong. He already showed signs of a clever leader.
    Numu was as strong, and he was the best friend of Preamu.
    No one was as bound together as this two. They already discussed
    who will get what part of Preamus Empire when he would be
    Khagan and Numu his Yagbu. Some of the older women where
    suspicious that this two spent so much time together, but
    these thoughts were written off as typical gossip.

    The other boys of Preamus Bhur exceded in their favourite
    disciplines. Preamu knew already that he could count on
    them when he would be Khagan, as everyone was loyal to him.

    The trek of the Khagan was moving slowly, but steady, to itīs
    location at the lower Hwang Ho. A bard sung a song about the
    divine horses, which were said to roam the plains of the Gansu,
    one of the typical myths of the Liu. He also played on a little
    instrument, similar to a Dombra. The chirping sounds made of it
    were harmonical with his deep voice.

    Some warriors guided the herds to another grazing ground, where
    all the goats and yaks could fill their bellies with hard grass.
    The warriors looked rather disinterested, sitting on their small
    steeds. Bow and quiver at their sides, with a sword or a mace
    hanging at their belt, they were more than ready to route any
    predator, the four legged or two legged one, either.

    The Khagan rode ahead of the trek, with a small band of guards
    and his advisors. Usually it was the task of some other tribe
    members to scout the area, but Bramu rarely missed an opportunity
    to ride out and flee the ceremonies of the shamans or to listen to
    women.

    Preamu would have liked to follow his father, but the Khagan didnīt
    wanted him at his side. He ordered him and the other boys of the
    Bhur to herd the goats. Preamu was already used to the dismissal of
    his father, but it did hurt everytime regardless.

    "This is sooo boring !"

    Utruru was easily bored. If he didnīt raced with another member of
    the Tribe every five minutes he would let out a sigh and complain
    about everything. He was the most energetic of all the boys of the
    Bhur.

    "Does anyone want to do a race ?"

    His eyes filled with excitement.

    "I promise, I wonīt make fun of the loser !"

    The other boys just rolled their eyes.

    "You might be the best rider of us, but you wonīt accept
    my challenge to a wrestling match to this day !" Cammuru
    said in a amused voice.

    "Oh really ? How about this: First we all do a race, and then
    we two do our little match. Anyways, I am not that keen on
    touching another man all over his body." He smirked.

    "Deal."

    Preamu, Numu, Rudur and Zarwu just sighed, but they knew there
    was no other way around this.

    The boys lined up with their young horses, everyone awaiting
    the whistle which would start the race.

    "Ayyyyyyy !"

    All of them forced their horses forward, the stout animals giving
    their all. Grass and earth fly high behind them, whirled out by
    the hooves of the horses. The slightly steep landside around them
    flew by, their wild hair flying in the air. The finish was set at
    a little wooded area, just out of sight of the trek. Utruru leaded
    the race, but Preamu was just behind him. The young boy looked
    behind, smirking and getting out the rest of his horse. Preamu
    ducked a load of earth flying at him just in time.

    "Chaka !"

    Utruru was whistling and laughing, winning as expected. Suddenly,
    he was thrown off his horse.

    "Take that !"

    Cammuru threw him to the ground. Whistling and chanting the other
    boys rounded up.

    While the others were enjoying the spanking Utruru received, Preamu
    was distracted. Something gained his attention, just behind some
    of the trees. He walked to the little forest, where a little stream
    cleared itīs way through. It ended in a small pool. Grass grew around
    it, and the sound of birds filled the air, a rather rare sound to
    a boy of the steppes. And then, Preamu saw something unbelievable:
    A young horse, black, drinking out of the pool. It was strong, that
    he could see. The muscles defined under itīs fine hairs.

    Preamu carefully came nearer to the animal, carefully setting step
    after step. The atmosphere was electrising, the air seemed hot.
    Suddenly, the horse looked up, bothered by the young mans presence.

    "Donīt worry," Preamu whispered,"I wonīt do any harm to you. My name
    is Preamu, son of Bramu. How may I call you ?"

    The young horse looked anxious, watching every move of Preamu, ready
    to gallop away. He now stood next to it, slowly carassing itīs
    fur.

    "I will call you Shanyu, the ruling one."

    The horse became calmer. Preamu got a hold on it, swinging himself
    on the horses back.

    "Let us ride Shanyu, towards the sun, let us ride out of this world !"

    Shanyu galloped forwards, out of the clearance, on to the wide
    plains. The other boys of the Bhur looked up at once, suprised
    to see their friend on such a majestic horse. They whistled and
    called his name.

    "Now Shanyu, give all you got !"

    Shanyu became even faster, racing over the wide plains. Sunbeams
    shined over the hills and mountains, making them appear like
    a Shadow of the Steppes.

    He rode towards a small groupd of people, his father and his
    retinue.

    "Look father ! I am the victor over the sun !"

    The warriors were amazed, and even Bramu had a proud smile on his
    lips.

    "We have escaped our world Shanyu, we made it !"

    This was the happiest day Preamu would ever remember.
    Last edited by Marvzilla; January 05, 2013 at 04:21 PM.

  11. #11
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 4]

    Nice story, like the others I don't mind the Italics, perhaps a little nore time could have been spent building the supplementary characters, but this has a lot of potential.

    Rex

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 4]

    Quote Originally Posted by Rex Anglorvm View Post
    Nice story, like the others I don't mind the Italics, perhaps a little nore time could have been spent building the supplementary characters, but this has a lot of potential.

    Rex

    Rep+
    Thanks for the kind comment.

    Well, there will be some more chapters on the younger Preamu, so you might expect
    a more deep view on his compagnions.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 4]

    Chapter 5: Preamu and Numu



    "But I donīt want to rule over this strange place !"

    Numu was angered.

    "I always loved Persia, and Babylon with itīs riches.
    The golden and blue monuments and halls, the people."

    "So you like the pomp of these lands ?" Preamu was
    curious.

    "Not only that."

    Preamu and Numu laid on the hard grass, over them
    the dark sky, the stars shining like small diamonds,
    reachable for both these ambitious young men.

    "There are so many different people. They have their
    own, strange beliefs, they have their own dress. I
    want to experience all of this. At your side."

    "So do I." The air was mild.

    "So Persia for you, but who will get India ?"

    "It doesnīt matter, as long as we can be together
    at one place."

    Preamu smiled. They always fantasized about how
    Preamu would rule his empire, about the strange
    lands they only knew because of the tales and
    scripts they learned in the Bhur. Preamu was
    fascinated by every single one of them.

    And he was sure that he and Numu would never
    split ways.

    Numu drove his hand through his thick, black hair
    that hung straight to his shoulders. He and Preamu
    were now 16 years old. It was time for Preamu to
    become Yabghu, official second ruler.

    "And when we have visited all these places, we will
    have our women. Dozens of them." Preamu was already
    very interested in women, but wasnīt allowed to
    come near any in his own tribe, as only his father
    was allowed to find him a suiting lady, and only when his
    father was dead, he would be able to take one that he chose.

    Numu hadnīt the same feelings. He was never interested
    in women, looked after them or shared bed with one.
    The only thing that was of interest to him was Preamu.

    "Regardless, in the end we bot will always stand together."

    Preamu meant what he said. He loved Numu like a brother,
    he was the single most important person to him.

    "Yes."

    "And if one of us dies in battle, a glorious death, the other
    will follow him."

    "That is certain, Preamu, I would give my life for you."

    "And I would give mine for you, dearest friend."

    Preamu suddenly sprang to his feet, making a wide gesture.

    "But that is of no concern, as we will conquer and unite the
    people, from the Hwang Ho to the mysterious Tigris and Euphrat !"

    Numu laughed, and Preamus face became as hard as a stone.

    "Donīt you believe in me ?"

    "Ha Ha ! I believe in you, how could anyone NOT believe in you,
    my euphoric Preamu !"

    Preamu began to smile and slowly realized how awkward he must look
    right now, his arms widespread, proclaiming himself as king of the
    world.

    But his dream was there. And no one would take it. He knew that
    Numu would be the last to be with him. He shared his dream.

    Numu stood up. He was as tall as Preamu, a young man in good
    physical condition, already respected as warrior and rider.

    But silent voices told dirty rumours behind their backs, about
    a forbidden love. Preamu never bothered with those rumours.

    He saw Numu as his brother, his own blood, the best friend
    one could have. He loved him.

    Numu loved Preamu, but he saw him not only as a brother, his
    own blood, the best friend one could have. He saw him as the
    center of the world, his world. He loved him.

    And his love was forbidden indeed.

    Last edited by Marvzilla; January 05, 2013 at 04:21 PM.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 4]

    Chapter 6: The Tiger of Gansu



    It was a dark evening and a cold wind
    grazed over the steppe.

    The royal camp of Khagan Bramu was situated
    on a hill, near the mighty Hwang Ho. Those
    were the summer quarters of the Khagan and
    his retinue and tribe.

    The camp was arranged in a circular set up,
    the yurts of the most important people placed
    more central, and the yurt of the Khagan in
    the center of the camp. Poles holding banners
    were placed at the entrance of this yurt, the
    banner depicting a stylized tiger on a red
    background.

    The yurt itself was majestic, finest carpets
    hung at the wooden walls, adorned with gold
    and jade. In the middle was a fireplace,
    the smoke produced by it disappearing through
    a hole in the center of the yurt.

    With some distance to the fireplace a highend
    throne like stool was placed, made out of finest
    wood, ornamented with gold, jade and rugs made
    out of tiger skin placed over it. On it sat the
    mighiest man of the Hexi Corridor, the man who
    controlled the Wei and forced tribute of them.
    The man who has beat any incursion of the Rouran
    Mongols, who subjugated and vassalized the
    City-States of the Tarim.

    But he was a broken man.

    Bramu gazed disinterested into the round that gathered
    in his royal yurt. Many men who he knew from his earliest
    days, some he has never seen before. They gathered for a
    feast, something that Bramu never could find a liking for.
    But he was Khagan, and as every other member of the Liu
    he had his obligations.

    Slowly he sipped some of the fermented mare milk, the
    typical alcoholic drink of most nomads. He used a simple
    cup, made out of bronze, adorned with silver. He barerly
    could hold back a sigh and stood up.

    "My dearest friends", he began, opening his arms in a welcoming
    gesture,"welcome to this feast. Let us all enjoy this rich
    meal, brought by my most loyal friends, killed in a glorious
    hunt."

    The whole yurt was listening. Bramu smiled, but his eyes only
    showed distain and boredom.

    "I am more than pleased to see all of you here and I am eager
    to hear your stories of the happenings in our realm."

    Some men whistled, others shouted his name. It was their form
    of appreciation. Bramu sat down, sipping on his mare milk again.

    "What has my life come to ?" He silently grumbled to himself.
    He was now 43 years old, a high age, and his days were numbered.
    His beard was still brown, but the first hairs became grey, as did
    some on his head. He wore a long, majestic Kaftan, in the turkic
    style. Depictions of tigers fighting dragons were on it, and feel
    was placed around the neck. Jewelry, tributes of the Wei court, hung
    around his neck and at his forearms. All this pomp was not his world.

    He just wanted to conquer, like in the old days, when he subjugated
    the Wei and forced them to pay him tribute. When he slaughtered men
    and pillaged villages and towns alike. When he took what he wanted,
    when he could talk to his men like a man, without any formalities.

    He just wanted to do one more campaign, one last thrust into enemy
    territory. He wanted to cement his legacy and his dynasty. He already
    started the first reforms, beginning with a central camp at the
    Hwang Ho, the Yellow River, a centralized seat of might. Then he
    changed the military, imported better weapons and smiths out of China.
    The bows of the Liu were of the hunnic type, the best avaible. But
    he wanted better armour and armoury for his men, who he organized
    in the decimal system. All this gained him many foes, but they didnīt
    dare to contest his rule, as he was still the ferocious Khagan, who
    decapitated the Rouran Khagan, who severed his head and has drunken
    finest wine out of the this head. He was still a able tactician,
    with competent men on his side.

    He also was certain that his dynasty was safe, as his son Preamu was
    a able warrior and a bright head. He had the highest expectations of
    him. He has never shown his only son any kind of love, but he loved
    him as much as father could love his child. But he wanted to harden
    Preamu, to prepare for the path of the Khagan.

    He already had plans for him and for the Liu in general. In spring
    of the next year, he would march on the Tuyuhun, tribal scum,
    offspring of the old Xioung Nu. His son would march south, fighting
    the Turfan, a tibetan Tribe. This would be his first real test as
    Yabghu. Then, in summer, father and son would annex the Tarim. The
    Hepthalites already claimed some of the desert, but they would beat
    them out for good. He would rule over the newly won territories as
    Khagan, further reforming the nation into a real state, while his
    son would rule as Yabghu in Gansu, ensuring the security of the
    borders. This would be the end of the nomadic Liu and the beginning
    of the Bramu Dynasty, one that would outshine those in China. He would
    cultivate the land and the people, building big cities. He never shared
    the silly ideas of conquest into the west like his son, who was clearly
    influenced by the tales of Alexander the Great, which were brought in
    from India via Chinese pilgrims.

    He also was in the process of marrying another women, seen fit and
    beautiful enough for him. Preamu took this as a great insult, as his
    father never mourned the death or acknowledged his mother.

    He looked around, searching for his son. He sat at the right of the
    Khagan, with his friends. Bramu understood that brotherhood was the
    key to the heart of his men, but he felt that Preamu got too close
    to his retinue, especially Numu.

    "Preamu !" Bramu ordered him to his side.

    Preamu stood up immediately, striding to his fathers throne.

    "Father ?" He looked him straight in the eyes.

    'Brave boy' thought Bramu.

    "Listen. You, apart from my generals, are the first to hear of this.
    I plan one last campaign, which would give us control of the Tarim.
    You are going to subjugate the Turfan, south of us, to pacificate
    this border. We will rule as Khagan and Yabghu, my son." He told
    him in a lowered tone. "I will instruct the Shads soon."

    It was one of the few times Bramu slightly smiled in the presence
    of his son.

    "But father, if we really get so close to the Hindukush, why not pass
    it." Preamu had fire in his eyes.

    "We could subjugate and annex the Hephtalites entirely, and then...."

    Suddenly, Bramu sprang up and slapped his son with his backhand.
    It was not the first time Preamu questioned his father and undermined
    his authority, even if it was not intended as such.

    "You disloyal bastard ! I tell you of my plans, and you think you
    are in a position to tell me another strategy ?! Know your place !"

    Preamu held his cheek, the fire in his eyes now murderous.

    "Father, the time would be right ! Look farther than the ambitions
    of our ancestors, look farther than this ! Please, let us conquer
    the world, together !"

    "You will do as I say !" He raised his hand again, and Preamu was
    more than willing to take another shot. He had courage.

    "Unruly boy, do I have to exile you ?!"

    "Bramu please, the alcohol speaks out of you", Gazu said, one of
    his best generals and oldest friends.

    "No, he has to learn it. Kneel down !"

    Preamu just stood there, not moving an inch.

    "Kneel !" Bramu was furious, hitting his son again.
    Blood came out of Preamus mouth.

    Both men looked each other in the eyes. The whole yurt was silent,
    all eyes directed at the son and the father.

    "You always think in your limitations, you never wanted something
    great."

    "I made this people greater than they ever were !" Both men shouted.

    "You are just a traitor !" Bramu had a curious smile on his face,
    shocked. He opened his arms, turning around and looking around
    the yurt.

    "You are about to take another woman, acting like my mother never
    existed ! When did you mourn her death, or praised her ? Never !"

    "You are just like her, upstart and unruly. Thats why I donīt praise her.
    Yes I do take another woman, and I do as I please. Your mother is
    no more. Either you come along with this, or perish. Now, kneel !"

    Tears were burning in Preamus eyes. He knew that if his father would
    have children with his new wife, he would get serious contenders on
    his title as Khagan. And he would not break down infront of the
    assembled Shads and Nobles of the Liu.

    "Go sleep with your new wife and dream in your limitations.
    When I become Khagan, I will invite you to my marriage, and you will
    tremble before my Empire, as it wouldnīt fit into your wildest dreams."

    Bramu was fully enraged now, he drew his sword but before he could
    land a strike Preamu took a step back, shocked, and his father missed
    him. He fell down, unable to stand up, influenced by the strong alcohol.

    Preamu now shed tears.

    "Look at this man, he wants to unit our known world but he canīt
    even make one step after another."

    "OUT ! I will exile you, you unruly bastard, you dirty fruit
    of your damned mothers womb !"

    Preamu turned away and walked out, his friends following him.

    There he was, the mighiest man of the Hexi Corridor, the warrior
    of the warriors, the Khagan of the known world.

    The Tiger of Gansu, drunk and mentaly broken, laying on the ground.
    Last edited by Marvzilla; January 05, 2013 at 04:20 PM.

  15. #15
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 6]

    A fantastic last chapter, very well written indeed.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 6]

    Quote Originally Posted by Rex Anglorvm View Post
    A fantastic last chapter, very well written indeed.

    Rep+
    Thanks, your support is very welcome.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Nationstates Story][Chapter 6]

    Chapter 7: Exile



    "It getīs colder, every night."

    "I know." The face of Cammuru was hard as a stone.

    "We could be hunting some fine ladies right now, but
    instead we are here."

    "I know."

    "Shame on Preamu for being so stubborn !"

    "Donīt say such things !" Suddenly Cammuru showed emotions.

    "He might have been stubborn, but he had every right to be
    so !"

    "Yeah, maybe. But we havenīt done anything, why do we have...."

    "Shh."

    Cammuru interrupted Utruru.

    Preamu had a sympathetic look on his face. He knew it was because
    of him that his compagnions had to suffer. He wished no ill for
    them, but he also admired their loyality.

    "No worries, brothers. We will be at home again, sooner than you
    might think."

    "When ?" Utruru made no attempt to hide his disliking of the
    situation.

    "Soon. We just have to hold out one, maybe two weeks !"

    "We have almost no food left. The ground will be frozen in due
    time. What are we going to do ? Preamu, as your friend, I advise
    you to plead to your father. Meet him on even ground." Zarwu
    suggested.

    "No, that would only show my weakness."

    "But you have no other choice. You know your father best.
    He wouldnīt hesistate to let you starve out in the mountains." Utruru
    said with a concerned look in his eyes.

    "No, he wonīt do that." Rudur sat down on his saddle, which he
    used as a temporary stool. They sat around a small fire, protected
    of the wind by a larger rock formation.

    "He has no heirs and even if he would beget a heir in this moment,
    at the moment of his death it wouldnīt be old enough to continue
    his dynasty. Thats the one trumph Preamu has right now: His own
    bloodline. Bramu wonīt let him die in fear of dangering his legacy."

    Zarwu made good points, and even Utruru had to agree. Preamu knew
    it was essential to have people of Zarwus intelligence and logic
    close to secure ones prolonged success. And apart from that, he was
    a good and loyal commander.

    "Zarwu is right. And exiling the sons of multiple shads and noble
    families has already created a dangerous situation for Bramu. If he
    lets us die out here, rebellion is imminent." Rudur said. The young
    man maybe was a little fragile, but just as Zarwu he was intelligent
    and had an affinity for scripture and foreign tongues.

    Preamu just nodded. He knew their situation was grave regardless.
    Bramu held true to his word and exiled him and his friends of the
    Bhur. Here, in the outer fringes of the Qilian Mountains, near to
    Tangut territory, survival was an every day fight, even for such
    hardened nomads. Winter was coming, food was spare. They were not
    equipped with much, so occasional raiding was a great risk, too.

    "We wonīt die out here, anyway." Numu just came to the little round.
    He tended to his horse, as an injured horse would have meant death.

    "We are Liu. These are our mountains and steppes. And we have us, led
    by Preamu. In my opinion, we are more than comfortable." Numu said
    with a smile. He was more lighthearted than the others, though a
    little shy and only opened up to Preamu.

    The men just went silent for a moment, overthinking their options.

    "Tomorrow we have to get food. In any way possible." Cammuru was
    right. Their last proviant was nearing itīs end.

    "Youīre right, my dear Cammuru. Go to sleep men, as I want you fresh
    and ready." Preamu said.

    The next day the small band of Liu royality stood up early. They were
    exiled for a month now, and with no food and nothing huntable in sight,
    they had to change their strategies. Every man saddled his horse, took
    some of the last proviant and then they rode out in different
    directions. They wanted to scout out a wider range and meet at the same
    place at night. They searched for anything: Deer, birds, wild horses,
    caravans, camps. Everything hunt and lootable. If one gets in danger
    and is pursued, he would have to try to lose the pursuers. If this was
    not possible, he had to die a hero, as Preamu said.

    Preamu followed a small stream which flew through the rocky terrain.
    Hard grass and no trees were in sight, typical for the this range.
    Preamu could barely see, it was still dark. He could hear the stream
    and the occasional bird, the wind but not much else. He knew that this
    would be a long, hard search. After hours of riding along the small
    stream in hope some caravan or nomads have temporarly settled there,
    he reached a slope, where on the left side a big hill stood high.
    The sun was now high at the sky, though clouds concealed it, and after
    a heavy rainfall fog disguised the landscape in itīs white screen.

    Preamu heard something. The heavy steps of horses, the rattling of
    scabbards, talking ! He got off his horse Shanyu, and led it behind
    the hill. It stood still and made no sound, seemingly understanding
    the situation. Preamu himself got low and crawled along the hill,
    hoping the strangers wouldnīt spot him. He quiet couldnīt categorize
    the tongue of those people, but they spoke no turkic language like the
    Liu. He finally got to a got spot, where he was hidden behind some
    bush and the fog hid him aswell. He now could see a small camp of seven
    or so people, rudimentary set up along the stream. A small pit was
    in the process of making and small tents were erected. Those people
    were no nomads. Their clothing was richly adorned and their style of
    hair and facial hair was different of the nomadic people. He saw their
    weapons, swords in scabbards and could identify them as chinese ones.
    Those were people of the Wei ! Preamu was euphoric and almost stormed
    into the camp, which would have been his certain death. He held himself
    back and got back to Shanyu. He would ride back to their meeting point
    in a hurry. Seven people, only one carrying armour with him. Richly
    adorned clothing, everyone armed. A diplomatic mission ? Who knew.
    Preamu just knew that they had most likely proviant and loot, things
    he and his compagnions desired the most at the moment.

    He got back to their more rocky meeting point. Everyone got back, the
    last being Numu. Preamu was almost sick of worry.

    When they finally gathered, he told them of his find and everyone was
    excited. Apart from some decent hunting grounds which would be obsolete
    in a few weeks they found nothing. But with loot they could buy them-
    selves proviant from caravans, and the weapons would have use, too.

    Preamu ordered his friends that they would ride out immediatley, and
    if possible would camp nearby the Wei. After a long exhausting ride
    they came to the slope. It was dark already and everyone tried to be
    as silent as possible. They bounded their horses to flocks and followed
    Preamu the green hill. What they saw filled them with joy, because
    this has Preamu not seen: The men were just company to some sort of
    noble woman, most likely a diplomatic present from the Wei to soothe
    some Khan.

    They laid down and slept, as it everyone was exhausted. They would get
    up before the first sunbeams would shine on the plateau and then they
    would strike.

    It was Preamu who would awaken as first. He woke up the others, ensured
    that the Wei were still there and sleeping and after that instructed
    his friends.

    "We will attack from three sides: Cammuru and Utruru will go around
    the hills and the steep range to attack from the left. Rudur and Zarwu
    will cross the small stream and then attack from the right. Meanwhile
    Numu and me will attack from the hill, gaining their attention. Only
    attack when you hear our yells and whistles. Understand ?"

    Everyone nodded. They were eager to fight. This would be their first
    fight that could end deadly. The Bhur prepared them, and they saw raids
    and people dying, but now they would be on their own. Every single one
    of them was equipped with a composite bow and a sword, the latter in
    the chinese design. They had no armour, only their furs and clothing,
    their riderboots and hoses.

    Preamu and Numu slowly led their horses up the hill, no one saying
    anything. Finally they were at the top, ready to attack. The enemy was
    sleeping, they were mounted. But it was still a scary situation.

    Preamu looked over to Numu who stood some metres apart. No words, just
    a endless moment and a look that said "donīt die".

    "Ayyyy !"

    They both rushed down the hill which was considerably less steep on
    this side than the one they came up. With an insane speed they rode
    toward the pit, with the small tents around it. Just now the men came
    out of them, scared and confused.

    Preamu took an arrow out of the quiver. He placed it on the bow, drawed
    it, felt the might of the simple construct, of the elegant arrow. The
    force of the senew.

    "Shhwww". The arrow glided out of the bow, everything seemed to be in
    slow motion. It made itīs way through the cold morning air, itīs
    feathers swaying. The small iron tip hit first, forcing the way through
    fabric, then skin, finding the target. Blood sprinkled on the mans
    finely decorated tunic, painting it in dark red. A expression of horror
    on his face, he slowly fell backwards, giving his last breath.

    Preamu hit perfectly. He felt cold, but the adrenaline rushed in his
    ears. It was his first kill. He just erased a life. He felt no remorse,
    just emptieness. Cold and empty.

    He felt no different after shooting the next arrow, delivering another
    fatal strike to the next man. Other than the first he struggled, his
    hands firmly grasped around the arrow in his chest, to no effect. He
    collapsed, and just like the first man his face was filled with horror.

    Numu killed one too, and Preamu didnīt even thought about to look to
    his long life friend.

    By then, they rode through the camp and were about to turn. But they
    just halted. Behind them the yells and whistles of the others filled
    the air. Preamu looked on the ground, slowly realising what he did.
    He feared he would fell remorse, sadness, anything. But he felt....
    nothing.

    Numu looked at him, his mouth wide open and heavily breathing. Preamu
    just nodded and they turned around, slowly trotting back to the camp.
    The others had finished of the rest of the retinue, and it was only
    Utruru who was still yelling and whistling.

    Forming a circle they nodded at each other and got of their horses,
    while Utruru made one last round.

    "AYYYY ! Chaka !"

    Finally he came back.

    "We have done it ! We are warriors !"

    The others just slightly smiled. Utruru got off his horse.
    He had a very strict walk and knew where to go.

    "Utruru !" Cammuru suddenly hauled after him. The other immediatley
    followed.

    "There we have it." Utruru had a big, cold smile on his lips.

    He turned around, his hand pointing at the small, frightened something.

    "Our present back home."
    Last edited by Marvzilla; January 05, 2013 at 04:20 PM.

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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Chapter 7]

    I haven't read it yet, but maybe the text could come across the whole page (or is that just me? ) and whilst I can read the italics it might be easier if they weren't...

    It looks like a great start, and I can't wait to catch up with it.
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  19. #19
    Marvzilla's Avatar Ducenarius
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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Chapter 7]

    Quote Originally Posted by Shankbot de Bodemloze View Post
    I haven't read it yet, but maybe the text could come across the whole page (or is that just me? ) and whilst I can read the italics it might be easier if they weren't...

    It looks like a great start, and I can't wait to catch up with it.
    Thanks man.

    Yeah, I think I am going to change it to non-italics, it just seems to be too unusual, and I have
    no actual need for them, just thought it looked more elegant.

    I canīt use MS Word (dont have it) so I have to use a simple text editor. Thats were the
    formation issue stems from.

  20. #20
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
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    Default Re: The Epic of Preamu [Chapter 7]

    Ah I see, no worries - although you could always type it up on TWC?
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