Deliberate deliberations

[Raglan]

James was sat at his desk in the headmasters office. Several scattered books sitting in front of him. He was beginning to understand a passage spoken to him recently by Dumbledores portrait.

I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind... At these times... I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure.

His head was almost hurting, to many things were swimming around and around in his head. Atticus, charms, Transfiguration, the disappearances of so many of the teaching staff, Occlumency, and for some reason he kept thinking of snakes. He couldn't place it, something was off. Sighing to himself he stands, and makes his way to the pensieve. He had never used it before, and felt some certain apprehension about it. But ignoring it he begins. First one thread - a memory of the conversation with Atticus in his office. Then another thread - a certain lesson involving healing. And yet another - a snake and an owl. And another and another and another thread are all poured into the pensieve. Swirling now, almost full, James places yet one last thread into it, the contents of a book even now sitting on the headmasters desk. Standing back he watches as face after face resolves itself before him. The owl and the snake appearing several times. Twice the owl appears to be attacking the snake, and once the snake attacks the owl. Then the scene disappears, and becomes the sorting hat clearly shouting out house names. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin. Only Hufflepuff is left unshouted.

Stepping back from the pensieve James is even more confused than before. What does it all mean? Sighing to himself, his mind still crammed full of to many thoughts and memories he settles down at the desk once more, and begins sorting though the tombs before him.

[Raglan]

a post from else where which deserves to be here.

James sat and did little but stare after Atticus for a long time. A heavy feeling in his heart. The boy truly seemed to have no idea of right from wrong. After a while he looks up at the portraits around the room. Most of them look likewise deep in thought. Only one speaks. The Severus Snape portrait. Always an odd character that painting. Often watching, rarely commenting unless the Dumbledore portrait speaks likewise. But, since the boy is Snape's nephew, James reflects that it makes sense. What he speaks of is troubling. Truly troubling, and portents to trouble to come. Trouble that James hopes will not occur. It is not so long since the wizarding world tore itself apart. And though intellectually Atticus' ideas had much to complement them, the reality was that the cost in human - and not just man, but those species that are intellegent - suffering and lives outweighed any true benefit. Is man good or evil? No, of course not. The world is more complicated than that. Can those that stand for law and order need to kill? Yes, some are just too dangerous to leave alive. Hildegard was likely one such person. But to be judge jury and executioner like Atticus had been. And show little other than pleasure at it... That was worrying.

Sighing James stands. Making his way over to the bookshelves, he exercises a useful mental exercise. Allow the mind to wonder, while looking over the titles of books related to the problem. It had allowed him to crack the mental block stopping him from being good at Transfiguration. It had many years ago, allowed him to progress along the path of being an Animagus. And hopefully it would aid him now. So, what is the problem? Atticus, Atticus is the problem. His desire for forbidden magic - sometimes sensibily, and sometimes from fear. A desire for knowledge, yet without the wisdom to use it. Ah. Thats the problem. James reflects. I don't think that Atticus has the wisdom to use his exceptional talent. Do I? No, probably not. But I doubt that Atticus has ever questioned it. It was the same problem he had as a student. That time he had been caught searching James mind. He simple could not understand how being able to do something, didn't always mean doing it. Just because James could take his wand and walk downstairs and murder a student. Didn't mean it was right for James to do it. But would Atticus refuse, because he understood why it was wrong? Or simply because he didn't see any benefit from it.

Stopping he sees a book, nearly two hundred years old. A thesis by one of the former headmasters. James has read it before. It concerns the Slytherin problem, such as many see it. The basis to the book is that if Slytherin are the ones that cause the problems, then shouldn't Slytherin be gotten rid off? The headmaster - a man from Slytherin himself - had argued both sides, and left it up to the reader to decide for himself. Only a single word on the dedications page had left the reader to know the authors position.

No.

It was a position that James agreed with. And one that the headmaster of the time had proven correct. A mans choices, not his circumstances governs his fate. And in a world where black and white does not exist, then people should not have their fates decided by a single choice at the age of eleven. James knew from his own session with the hat that such a decision was often far from final. He has tried it on three times. And each time the hat had agonised over the decision, before choosing a different house each time. Ravenclaw, Slytherin and finally Gryffindor. Oddly, the leftover of Hufflepuff had made him value those students even more. To be a reliable friend, and a decent person. It was truly an underappreciated goal. More Hufflepuffs would make the world a better place.

Sighing, he realises why he feels so troubled. Atticus is going to be trouble. But it doesn't mean he should be treated as such. James knew from his own childhood. That being treated as a problem, and only made him more of a one. James own problems had been his untutored magic, rather than any personal issues. But they had grown into a self reliance that made him look down on those that needed friends. It had taken being headmaster to see the value of relying on others. Chuckling he realises that the hat would probably take that as a reason to call Hufflepuff if he was to wear it again. Tollerance, and friendship. They were the best ways to deal with Atticus. They were the best ways to make him feel part of the world. And James reflects, i would rather like him as a friend.

Standing, he clears his mind. Tommorrow he would try and reach out to Atticus. He wasn't able to give him a job, shaping others takes a certain type of mind, one that Atticus doesn't have. But there was much that James could do to help him. And, if they were to be friends, maybe Atticus would one day be able to help him....