Sweet Dreams

**Maurits** · October 01, 2012, 04:02 PM

This was my submission for the writing competition of this year. I hope that some of you will be kind enough to give me some constructive criticism to help me improve my writing!

Tale

Sweet Dreams
A short story by Maurits

With a deep sigh, I sank away, finally feeling the familiar lorica hamata brushing over my tunic. The sun stood high in the sky, driving away the last remains of a cold night. There were lots of birds, high up in the trees of the forest we were walking through, but I couldn’t hear their voices. Actually, I didn’t hear much more than the overwhelming cacophony of sounds usually produced by a legion on the move.

At our left side, a few horsemen passed by in a hurry. One stopped for just a moment at the front of the cohort, saying: ‘Centurion, be ready to deploy in battle formation. We’re closing in on the enemy.’

The battle-hardened veteran nodded, turned around and shouted the order to his men. Around me I could see the stern faces of my comrades, some looking up while making silent promises to the gods. For years, they had been marching through forest and swamp, plagued by both the Gallic summer and the countries’ inhabitants. Caesar had leaded them to victory, time after time, and they trusted that he would do so again.

One of these barbarian chieftains had managed to unite all tribes who had not been brought under Roman rule up to this moment. Now, Caesar had spotted the unordered mass which they referred to as their army. He had chosen to fight them at his time, at his place. I felt safe, knowing that my general would not send us forth without a good chance of winning the battle.

When we reached the outskirts of the forest, the army halted. Officers on horseback drove off and on, shouting orders at the centurions to deploy the army into its battle formation. The marching columns started to wheel around, and soon we were ready to engage the enemy. I couldn’t see them yet, but felt the tension building up. I turned my head towards the man next to me. I looked into his eyes, which seemed to serve as a mirror showing me my own emotions. Then, Caesar himself came driving towards us! I immediately jumped to attention, listening to his words:

‘Milites! In this war, we have fought many a battle together. I know that I can depend on all of you, the finest soldiers Rome has seen since the founding of the city. Today, we face these barbarians again, no match for a Roman legion! You know that I have always been reluctant to shed the blood of my brave soldiers. I would rather die than deprive the Republic of one of her armies. Go forth, slay these dogs and this war will come to a glorious end!’

As he spoke, a warm feeling spread through my body. I felt light in my head, and heard myself and my comrades scream: ‘Hail, Caesar!’

Trumpets sounded, and the army began to move. When we crossed the hills which had lain before us, I could finally see the enemy with my own eyes. Large, hairy men with wild beards and strange figures painted on their shields. The sight of them still frightened me, although they had proven to be no match for an experienced Roman legion many times already. A loud roar went up from the valley as the Gauls started taunting, uttering battle cries to frighten us and cheer up their comrades. We didn’t react, though. Stoically, I marched there in my little part of the battle line, ready for my general’s order to go forth and kill.

There, the enemy rushed forward! Our lines came to a halt, and I quickly raised my pilum. When the centurions shouted the order ‘Pila iace!’ the air was darkened as death rained down on our foes. For a moment, their advance was halted, but then they stormed on. There wasn’t any formation or order to be seen, just a crazy mass of half-naked men storming towards us.

I unsheathed my sword and bent my knee to stand ready for the impact. Uttering frantic roars, the first barbarians crashed into our cohort. I felt the cold sweat forming on my skin, my knees faltering as I waited for the enemy who would attack me.

Just in time, I jumped away as a sharp sword rushed towards me. I didn’t give the Gallic nobleman a chance to recover, but swiftly stabbed my gladius into his belly. Immediately, he dropped his weapon, blood dripping through his fingers as he pushed them against the wound. With one final blow, my blade sliced across his throat and he fell down on the ground. Panting, I rested for a moment. In the heat of battle, my fear had been forgotten. There was just me and the enemy, life and death depending on a single move or decision.

There, another one attempted to cut a friend of mine to pieces. I ran towards the big warrior, shouting at him while doing so. Surprised, he turned around, giving me the opportunity to cut his hand off. It fell on the ground, still holding his axe. Marcus smiled at me, shouting: ‘Watch, the cavalry!’

I turned around to see a truly majestic sight. There rode Caesar, at the head of his cavalry. Screams of fear went up as the barbarians started to run away to avoid being trampled under the thundering mass which was now assailing them. More and more of them started wavering, routing before him, oblivious to the rest of the world. Once more, our leader had won a glorious victory. This was to be the end of the Gallic wars, once and for all!

Sweating, with the words ‘for Rome!’ on my lips, I turned around. For a moment I didn’t knew where I was, but then I realized that this had all been just another sweet dream. Smiling, I jumped out of my bed. After all, there isn’t a better way to spend a night than being part of my beloved history!

**Rex Anglorvm** · October 03, 2012, 06:57 AM

The actual writing was fine, a good short story I thought, especially with the unexpected ending. The only very minor point might be that the use of images may be more for an AAR, rather than a piece of creative writing, and that may have put off some voters, but I doubt it - JAT

Personally I liked it.

Rex

Rep added+

**Maurits** · October 03, 2012, 07:11 AM

Thanks mate

I guess that I've become so used to AAR writing that it felt natural to include some visuals to reinforce the text. I'm glad that you like the story itself, that should provide a good basis for some further creative writing works to come

**Mausolos of Caria** · October 13, 2012, 07:12 AM

The important question is- is this based on a real experience?

It would be awesome to have a dreams like this!

I liked that you placed this in Caesar's Gallic campaign and made him a part of it, and of course the reader notices you are an experienced writer about ancient battles already

I'm sure you'll have better luck in the competition next year

Oh well, constructive criticism... I really dunno, the only thing I can do is to encourage you to try another faction than the Romans but as you have already written about the Dutch Republic now that has been fulfilled for now.