Muslim sexism in weddings

[Darth Wong]

We all know how incredibly sexist the Muslim theocratic nations are, but here's a little anecdote from "moderate" Canadian Muslims that might interest you.

My brother was invited to the wedding of a Muslim friend. He went there with his wife. When they got there, a woman rushed out of the building to tell them to stop holding hands, because that is considered an insult to Islam. They complied, and then they were told to go through separate doors: one for women, and one for men. Somewhat more reluctantly, they complied with that as well.

Once they got inside, my brother discovered that the "womens' door" led to a small barricaded area, covering perhaps one eighth of the floor space of the room. The mens' door, on the other hand, led to the rest of the room. The women were, as he said, "literally packed in like sardines behind the barricade at the back of the room" while the men lounged about the floor.

During the ceremony, my brother was surprised to see that even the bride was stuck behind the barricade. The ceremony took place at the front of the room, between the groom and the bride's father. No contact at all took place between the bride and groom, and no vows were exchanged, because the wedding was not a contract between the bride and groom; it was an agreement between the groom and the bride's father. In fact, the groom gave $500 to the bride's father as part of the ceremony. And during all this time, the bride sat in the barricaded womens' area, minding her place.

So, to summarize:

1) Women get a tiny barricaded area to sit in, men get free run of the whole area.

2) The bride does not participate in the marriage ceremony at all.

3) The ceremony consists of the groom essentially purchasing the bride from her father.

And this is what they call "moderate" Islam.

[Last Roman]

hmmm, I wonder if that stuff happens here in the states

[Mathias]

hmmm, I wonder if that stuff happens here in the states

It quite likely happens in muslim communities in every country

[Sam]

That's disgusting. I would feel totally ashamed of myself were I to treat women in that fashion. Suddenly I have more respect for Christian fundies.

As for the "holding hands is offensive to Islam", judging by what I have seen and heard on TV in the last few years, it seems that muslims demand more tolerance than any other group of people, and yet show so little to others in return. What could be responsible for this behaviour?

[The Last Spartan]

that is very condescending

[Last Roman]

that is very condescending

my post? It was an honest question

[The Last Spartan]

my post? It was an honest question

no, no I was talking about the passage

[Last Roman]

oh ok

[The Last Spartan]

i did not know that there was sexism still here in the Americas. well, I knew that plenty of women were sexists, but I never thought men would still be

EDIT: well, maybe they're feminists, hell I dont know

[Ldvs]

Although I can hardly stand a Christian wedding, it is admittedly a lot nicer than that. If a muslim could tell us how are organised muslim weddings in general, we'd see whether this one is an exception or not. I doubt it is always that harsh (I hope so at least).

[IndianWarElephant]

Ummm i dunno , i had been 2 a muslim friends wedding in India , and it was nothing what u said !!! I dunno maybe bcuz the groom's parents were Members of Parliament , but the wedding was grand , and there was nothing like what u wrote !! As a matter of fact there were more women than men . And all in expensive dresses and saris (the traditional dress )!!! I coulnd't see any sexism there . Maybe its different in different regions , and the thing ur talking about "buying" the bride is called Dowry has been practised for centuries by hindus , but i wont call them so , bcuz its disgusting !!! Anyways , hope i've educated u on eastern marriages !!!

[Denny Crane!]

I have witnessed muslim weddings that were not like that though sexism is predominant amongst these and other societies where the educational and human rights levels are low, this kind of attitude gets exported through culture and immigration into our countries though it dissipates quick enough.

What makes this a muslim thing? I have witnessed it among many religions and cultures.

Edited.

Peter

[Sétanta]

I quite hope the wedding is not a legal marrige and simply a religious ceremony, that way they don't get all the civil benefits of marriage as well.

[Darth Wong]

I quite hope the wedding is not a legal marrige and simply a religious ceremony, that way they don't get all the civil benefits of marriage as well.

Interestingly enough, that may actually be the case. In Canadian law, the wedding is not binding unless the bride signs the contract. The contract signing was not a part of the ceremony, so it must have been quietly performed before or after the ceremony. Which means that the ceremony has no legal ramifications, and that there was effectively a conventional civil wedding before or after it. In a typical Canadian Christian wedding, the signing of the contract is performed as a part of the ceremony, after going through your vows. There's a little table right up on the stage where the bride and groom sign the contract in front of all the witnesses.

[Shaun]

When will Islam enter to 21st century?
And also, is it even legal under Canadian law to force a female into marriage?

[Kapitan_brad]

When will Islam enter to 21st century?
And also, is it even legal under Canadian law to force a female into marriage?

Canadian law holds people to the highest possible standard for human rights. That such an act is possible under Canadian law could only be passed off through a loophole of religious tolerance. And even so, there have to be lines drawn.

Maybe its different in different regions , and the thing ur talking about "buying" the bride is called Dowry has been practised for centuries by hindus

From what i've always known, isnt the father of the bride supposed to give Her the dowry to give to her groom, so that they dont have to de dependant on the wifes family for support ?

I remember back in the day, i was doing a paper on ancient sumerian law, and one of the chief tenets was individuality amungst married couples From the family. I cant be sure Hamurrabis Code neccesarily applies to all eastern cultures, but im thinking that maybe it should have influenced the proceeding cultures.


Regardless, I do not believe that story based on the fact I have muslim friends who are good people, certainly not terrorists (if im wrong, no1 gets any of my stuff). Religion is always something that can be contorted and warped. Its not JUST Islam, but Christianity as well. Look at the "evangelical" movement across the united States. Or the old Pagan practices. Its all a matter of degree and . . . . well, something else !

[RZZZA]

Weddings are such pointless, antiquated rituals.

If that woman objects to this treatment, let her speak out. I guess she must not mind. I see muslim women speaking out in mulsim countries all the time on T.V., I'm sure this woman in Canada, amongst family members, can also speak out if she feels like shes being wronged.

So while it may look backwards and wrong to outsiders like us, to them it probably feels right.

[Darth Wong]

Weddings are such pointless, antiquated rituals.

If that woman objects to this treatment, let her speak out. I guess she must not mind. I see muslim women speaking out in mulsim countries all the time on T.V., I'm sure this woman in Canada, amongst family members, can also speak out if she feels like shes being wronged.

So while it may look backwards and wrong to outsiders like us, to them it probably feels right.

That's pretty much it; she could have easily avoided this if she wanted to, but she must think it's OK. Not that this exonerates the practice; it's a ceremonial throwback to some of the worst practices of our ancestors.

[RZZZA]

Maybe its considred a sign of honor and respect for a bride to sit seperately? Was she on an elevated platform? That could signify that she is so pure and precious that she is too good to stand next to the men. *shrug*

[Shaun]

The problem is that they must feel obliged to do this, even though legally they dont have to. I wonder if Muslim women know that they dont legally have to do this?