Mod idea - "This is ROMA!!!"

[removeduser_4536284751384]

The game may be 12-18 months away, but I already know of a great mod idea many of you will enjoy playing. I call it "This is ROMA!!!", something of a parady. Well, this entire thread is a parody if I am honest. It will include features such as:

• A more "realistic" take on the Roman faction, it will have modern cities of glass skyscrapers surrounded by ancient walls. From the beginning super-ripped legionary super-soldiers (with American accents!) clad in full-body segmented armour will destroy all opponents. And after a certain point, they can replace those ballistas with assault rifles!
• Greeks who embody every stereotype of homosexuality ever concieved, whining about the latest warrior fashions and hitting on one another in battle while looking very effeminate.
• Improved European barbarians based on the orcs of Peter Jackonson's Lord of the Rings.
• Improved African barbarians based on the wookies of Star Wars.
• Carthage's only units will be spear militia, elephants and sacred band infantry. The militia will complain about having to fight in a posh sounding British voice and have extremely low morale. They will have to rely on orcish and wookie mercenaries to get anywhere. Their rare Sacred band will be "Greek" in nature.
• "Mummy Returns" Egyptians based on early and fictional accounts of ancient Egypt. Egyptian Generals will of course be resurrected mummies who can decimate any army single handedly (I'll leave the precise meaning of the term "decimate" ambiguous).
• non-Hellenistic eastern kingdoms will be in a pink "hello kitty" colour scheme, just like RTW's Parthians!
• Hellenestic Kingdoms will be a cross between the above Greeks and pink "hello kitty" Asian natives. I'll also make sure you won't be able to tell what sex their generals are. More likely they will have been both sexes at different times in their lives.
• Steppe peoples will be replaced by Centaurs.

I think that covers just about everything. What do you think?

[Rasic]

Some of our more historical accuracy oriented members will have you believe that most of this will be included in the vanilla game, so no need for the mod.

[Vaskill]

Careful, you might attract the Roman fanboys on here who will swarm all over this Mod.

[Armatus]

you forgot my little pony

[saxdude]

Africans gotta be gangster factions and zulu, completely removed of any civility that would have been present in the Kushite and Aksum Kingdoms, they must be the living embodiments of the stereotype that fills the minds of idiot BNP members.

[Tia]

Dude, you totally forgot about adding Vikings in Scandinavia!

[MathiasOfAthens]

Dude, you totally forgot about adding Vikings in Scandinavia!

Yes good point because its a well established fact that true vikings are Danish.

[Timefool]

The Mermaids of Atlantis to the west of Iberia.

[removeduser_4536284751384]

Dude, you totally forgot about adding Vikings in Scandinavia!

The Mermaids of Atlantis to the west of Iberia.

Some great ideas.

you forgot my little pony

Africans gotta be gangster factions and zulu, completely removed of any civility that would have been present in the Kushite and Aksum Kingdoms, they must be the living embodiments of the stereotype that fills the minds of idiot BNP members.

Yes perhaps these would be better than the wookies and centaurs I had planned. Or maybe we can have both!

[Coriol's Anus]

American accents? No no no, they have to have British accents. It is a well established fact that Romans had British accents.



By the way, the absolute worst way to write parody is to start by saying "this is a parody".

[Lord Oda Nobunaga]

The centaurs should have archers riding on their backs, that way we can have extra overrated horsearchers as the centaurs themselves will also have bows and cataphract armour.

[hochmeister devin]

We should expand the campaign map so chinas on the map. The chinese soldiers will be horrible, but neigh unlimited in number and they should all look the same. Basicly they should embody stereotypical china.