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Thread: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

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    Default The Critic's Quill: Issue 33


    The Editor Speaks
    Hello and welcome to Issue 33 of the Quill. Hopefully there are still a few longer-serving members who still remember Issue 32. But for those who don't, let me explain that the Quill exists in order to bring you news, reviews and musings on the state of creative writing at TWC.

    This time, in addition to our usual selection of AAR reviews and essays, we have a special feature on the recently concluded Scriptorium Winter Writing Competition.

    Juvenal (Editor)

    Table of Contents

    Monthly AAR Competition Section

    MAARC & BAARC News
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    MAARC XXXVI
    The Winners announcement is here.

    THIRD PLACE: [SS6.4 AAR] Restoring Rome by Schrödinger
    As luck would have it, the all-seeing eye of the Quill has recently lit upon this fine AAR, so you can read about it in this very issue!

    SECOND PLACE: [RS2.1 AAR] The Kingdom of Ionia by Chaplain118
    This one has been running for over a year now, the last time we looked at it was last summer when Boustrophedon wrote this review.

    FIRST PLACE: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprud Reborn: A Crusader AAR by Thokran
    This is a real dark horse, it began in October of 2009 and ran for four months and 12 chapters before succumbing to a computer virus. Fast forward almost two years and the story has been taken up once more, albeit 200 years later in game time and with a whole new cast of characters! With a pedigree like that, little wonder it won the MAARC. Be assured that providing a review for this amazing piece occupies a suitably high spot in the Quill's priorities for future work.

    MAARC XXXVII
    Another MAARC has completed even as I was writing this section, the Winners announcement is here.

    THIRD PLACE: Restoring Rome (for the second month in a row... see above).

    SECOND PLACE: [IB SAI AAR] The Nowhere Legion by SeniorBatavianHorse
    Also winner of MAARC XXX and placed second in MAARC XXXIII, this AAR is a testament to SBH's sheer dedication to his Late Empire obsession. It reads like a published work, in actual fact it now is a published work which can be enjoyed here. We have a review by Skantarios from back in June, but the story has obviously moved on a long way since then, so I strongly advise you to get over to his thread now to find out what all the fuss is about.

    FIRST PLACE: [TWS2 AAR] Takeda - A Shogun 2 AAR by robinzx
    More Shogun 2 gorgeousness has brought this AAR renewed success in the MAARC. Let me refer you to this review from Radzeer to give you some idea of why this AAR has triumphed again.

    MAARC XXXVIII
    No sooner does one MAARC conclude than another begins! Do you have an AAR ongoing? If you do then this could be your chance to join the ranks of the luminaries of TWC! All you need to be able to submit your AAR is to have updates in May. Please don't hold back, go here to add a nomination.

    BAARC III
    After a long hiatus the Battle Report competition (BAARC) has sprung back into life. From what I have heard, the process of deciding the winners has been long and epic, but finally a conclusion has been reached. Follow this link to see the results of BAARC III.


    Coverage by Juvenal



    Tale of the Week Section

    Tale of the Week: March-April News
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Well it seems like an eternity since I last wrote the Tale of the Week coverage for the Critic's Quill. But eventually I found a spare scrap of parchment, dusted off my trusty quill and retrieved the bottle of ink from its hiding place underneath the desk, so I shall resume my appointed task. But first may I thank the people who have covered my role here while I have been absent (emigrating is a really stressful time) and the guys who keep TotW running so smoothly.

    And so with no less than 7 competitions to report on we had best get a move on before the editor tells me off for filling his illustrious publication with my ramblings.

    TotW 126 - Eternity lasts forever
    In the first of this edition roll call of stories to be remembered forever as a victor is robinzx's tale.

    Prometheus

    “Disengage radiation element, deionizing membrane activity accelerator, monitors shutting down… doors ready.”

    Professor Hammond jumped slightly at the mechanical female voice of the Polygenic Splicer. He must have paced back and forth a thousand times across the cramped laboratory as the numerals on the giant vault slowly counted down, but now the wait was finally over. Over the past forty years he had been called deluded, crazy, evil - amongst others - but today would be the end of all of that. Today he would achieve what no man had before him, and a lifetime of research would finally have its purpose.

    Alan Hammond you are a genius. Nobody ever believed you, but you’ve finally done it, even if it was with a bit of help...

    For almost a decade he had been frustrated by the issue of DNA degeneration, but all that changed after the meeting with them. They called themselves the First Civilisation, and the accidental intrusion into one of their labs gave him a glimpse of the answer - the figures, the charts contained things he never thought possible even in his wildest dreams. As it was, balanced delicately upon a small crucible was a tiny glass vial containing the fruit of his labours. Cradling the minuscule container on his palm, he marvelled at the liquid within, except it wasn’t a liquid of course, but billions upon billions of nano-organisms each only nanometres wide.

    Since eternity the cycle of life and death reigned supreme over mankind, and from the Pharaohs of ancient Egypt to the oligarchs of the twenty-fifth century countless men have tried and failed to find a solution. If this works it would revolutionise the destiny of mankind forever…

    Tipping the vial sideways, Professor Hammond eyed his creation nervously as the green mass slowly drained from its container in the direction of his open mouth. They mentioned it would act quickly, and that he would feel the change as it swept through him. Soon he would taste the elixir of the gods, he thought, wondering what the taste of immortality would be, and if indeed the complex manufacturing process had worked…

    It never came.

    He never saw the man approach, nor did he feel the tip of the syringe enter the back of his neck until it was too late. As it was the assassin stood over the pile of shriveling flesh and bone that had formerly been Professor Alan Hammond. Holding the vial in his hand, the dark figure stood for a moment marvelling at the deadly power of the nanotoxins. The mission had been a complete success, and the last threat to the Civilisation had been extinguished once and for all.

    "Agent 01284 reporting to The Mothership: Project Equinox three-five successfully completed. Prometheus is dead. Requesting immediate extraction."

    TotW 127 - The Prisoner's Dream
    Darkan proved to be the prisoner whose dream came true when his story this week's competition.


    The smell was appalling, a rancid mix of sweat and piss, together with the smell of the rotting rats that lay on the ground. The small cell was dark and damp and only the occasional torch light shone in as the guards were patrolling, though that was a rare event.

    When was it that I was brought here? Wilms thought. It must have been more than six months ago, he concluded. How is it that I still have my sanity?

    Food had stopped coming a long time ago so Wilms had had to make due with the rats that were lurking in the dark, though now they were scarcer, as if they knew his cell was a trap for them. His captors had also stopped bringing him water, though water was something he did not lack, as trickles were pouring through the cracks in the walls.
    Noises from the corridors made him step back from the door, curling up into the farthest corner. As the steps came closer, he could hear two men talking to each other:

    - ... so the bastard is dead, huh? How did that happen?
    - We were dicing in old Jangmar’s tavern and he double crossed me. I took out my dagger and ...

    The guards continued their round, their voices fading in the distance.

    Wilms got up from his corner, pointlessly dusted of his filthy clothes and headed to the door again, looking through the barred window. Although he couldn’t hear voices or steps anymore, he could still see a glimmer of light in the distance, though it was coming closer and closer. Suddenly the door was ripped away with a terrible sound and the walls around him shook and started to fall apart. By instinct, he started running through the corridor, towards the light, his steps unsure at first and then more and more confident.

    Taking his hand up to cover his eyes he stepped into the light and felt sand beneath his feet. After so much time in darkness his eyes couldn’t see anything through the blinding light, but the sound...it was soothing. He felt a scorching heat, as if the sun itself was embracing him with its countless rays. Wilms turned toward where the sound came and sooner than he thought he could feel the cooling touch of the sea upon his feet and an incredible joy took over him, as if a dream was coming true.

    I wouldn’t mind a piece of roasted meat and a cup of wine, he thought amused.

    He dove into the cooling water and as he emerged he saw the most beautiful sky he had ever seen, with only a few white clouds to give it life somehow.

    - Oh, crap, Othmar, come here, one of the guards called.
    - What happened?
    - We have another dead here, the first man replied.
    - Are you sure? This cell was supposed to be empty.
    - It will be now, as soon as we get him out.

    TotW 128 - For love and duty
    In the first of his 3 wins on the bounce LegolasGreenleaf avoided meeting his Waterloo with this tale of Napoleonic battle.

    A Soldier's life for me

    "Sonner la charge. Prenez la tête sur les!" came the order from the distance. Sounds of trumpets and cries of "Vive l'Empereur!" filled the air. Horses soon came into view: hundreds of horses, even thousands, coming closer all the time.
    Coming closer to death.

    French bastards. Couldn't leave us well enough alone. Now they have to come and bother us again, only to die. Oh, and to run away, crying like the little girls they are.
    Not that our men were any better. Horde of Prussian militia with us British Guards, that's all. Already, I can hear 'em cry and call out to God. Some of the "braver" ones say "For Crown and Country". Bah. They're no braver than the fat man on the horse in the distance, telling us to form a square. They would all run away from the fight and dishonor us all. They say fighting for your life tends to make you a tad philosophical. And now, standing on this Godforsaken piece of Earth called Waterloo, with all the world's soldiers around me, even I start to think about who I fight for, or what my duty is.
    I tell ya, I've been drinking too much these days. This philosophical nonsense is startin' to rot my brain.

    Who would I fight for? My love? My only love, after years in the army, is the smell of gunpowder, and the cries of the dead are music to my ears. What is my duty? My duty is only to myself, and I care for no one.

    As the first of the French came towards us, the General gave the order, "Open Fire!". With a deafening explosion, hundreds of shots were fired with a blinding light, bringing a hail of death towards the cuirassiers, and spreading confusion and shock among them.

    With a cry, I raised my bayonet and charged into their ranks. They say being a soldier isn't great, but it's my life, and it's made for me.

    TotW 129 - Victory
    LegolasGreenleaf returned for his second win in as many competitions with this tale from Roman times. Just another day at the office really.

    Just another day

    The smell was unbearable.

    The stench, he couldn’t stand it. It was too powerful. It was enticing. It made his mouth water. He couldn’t control himself. He couldn’t bear it. It reminded him of home, of the small insula where he lived as a child. Memories of his mother in the kitchen, making the most unimaginable kind of food, food not even the Emperor’s chefs could boast of. He remembered the juiciness of the cucumbers and onions, the tenderness of the lucanica, the pork sausages, whenever they could afford it, the sweetness of the honey spread copiously over his bread. He remembered the taste of hazelnuts and almonds, and his satisfaction after a good meal of stuffed duck, seared over low flame for hours, and complete with chick peas and lettuce.

    Oh, that smell.

    What was that in the distance? It looked like a buffet table. In the middle of nowhere? Still, it looked enticing. It had everything he could dream of: pigs’ ears, mackerel, dormice, and oh, a smouldering boulder just flew from nowhere and landed on the table, how nice.

    Wait, what?

    Julius snapped out of his daydream as the frost set in. All around him, thousands of Romans struggled against the tide of Gothic cavalry, threatening to break the lines. His friend Claudius ran past him. “Hey Julius, what are you doing?” he called. “Enough of your dreaming! We have a battle to win!”

    Julius sighed, and lifted his shield. It was just another day at work.

    TotW 130 - For the Shogun
    LegolasGreenleaf once more claimed victory for the third week running as he takes to yet another era of history, this time feudal Japan. I must offer my congratulations to LegolasGreenleaf for becoming only the third writer to win this competition 3 times in a row , the other 2 being Theodotos I and Juvenal (both going on to win gold medals). Best start getting those medals ready.

    We are Shimazu

    We are the Shimazu.

    We are strong. We are brave. We are proud. We fear none.
    We are the Shimazu.

    We are the masters of integrity. No man is more loyal than us. For many years, we have served under the daimyo with honor. From the weakest ashigaru to the strongest samurai, we are ready to fight for our clan. As a general, I too, m ready to fight for glory, and to serve with honor.

    However, there are those who frequently shame the Shimazu, and disregard our integrity. It was only yesterday that I had conversed with the heir of our clan, our daimyo's son. His words still wander in my head like a poem, forgotten in the wind. Such words have raised a number of questions, some more disturbing than the others. It has brought thoughts that would rightfully shame any man loyal to his clan.These thoughts have made me forget my principles, the basic learning given in the art of Bushido, the Way of the Warrior.

    Who is it that I should fight for? Who should I stand up to as an enemy, and who should I bow to and resect? Such thoughts......
    The Ashikaga Shogunate has influenced my mind more, and I struggle to choose a side.

    A messager burst into the tent. "General!" he panted. "The Takeda are attacking! They are sure to win a decisive victory if they are not stopped!"

    I immediately snapped out of my musings.The time will come to choose a side, but it is not now. Today, I am Shimazu.

    TotW 131 - The Outpost
    ♘ Derpy Hooves ♘ finally ended LegolasGreenleaf's run by manning a remote outpost in the middle of nowhere.


    “It sure is quiet around here.” Sighed the sentry.

    “Dammit Farah!” his companion replied. “Why must you make comments such as that whenever we are on duty? Maybe one day I will take this halberd here and stick you. Then it definitely won’t be quiet around here.”

    “I’m sorry Sakhr,” replied Farah. Sakhr gave Farah a look of disbelief. “I really am. I guess I just say that in hopes that something interesting will happen. Instead, almost every day we wake up, head over to the barracks, grab our equipment, then leave Aten to head west for about a league, only to spend the rest of the day at an old wooden tower. There is nothing to see leagues around. All there is the white sand, the empty blue sky and the mountain ridge in front of us. We are guarding against a threat that will never exist. There is no threat to our beloved city of Aten, much less the Saracian Empire. There has never been a moment in time where anyone has defeated the Saracian Empire and there never will be…”

    “You know with that kind of patronizing talk someone might think you love everything about the Saracian Empire.” Joked Sakhr.

    “I am only admitting that no one can defeat the Saracian Empire. That does not mean I don’t want an independent Aten. I just know it will never happen. Still I wouldn’t mind if something as interesting as a rebellion occurred…”

    “Don’t say things like that. You probably were not around at the time, but two decades ago there was a rebellion over at the city of Hesperos. Saracian soldiers came, defeated the rebellion. After the rebellion was over, the Saracians held mass executions in Hesperos; executing any Hesperosi they saw fit. It was utter madness.”

    “What. Were you there?” scoffed Farah.

    “Yes I was, and I was a soldier too who had to watch these executions take place. I hope such a thing never happens to Aten.”

    The two sentries were quiet. As the silence ensued, they stared across the vast desert wasteland where at the end lay a range of mountains that extended north to south as far as the eye could see. “That reminds me Sakhr. What is over those mountains? I have never been that far away from Aten, but seeing as how you have been more than just a sentry I think you would know.”

    “Over those mountains there?” Sakhr pointed. “Yes.” Replied Farah.

    “From what I have heard, nothing. I think the closest settlement would be Turkara, but that is practically on the other side of the world.”

    “If that is true, then who are we guarding the empire from?”

    TotW 132 - Merry men of the forest
    In a week that was dominated by strange talk of sausages Schrödinger came out victorious with this woodland tale.


    The damsel damselled distressedly, being suitably upset at the distressing turn of events. She had been frolicking through the forest to see her grandmother this morning and now she was tied to a tree, damselling. Never before had she damselled, but she was damn well going to damsel now she had the opportunity.

    Especially with the drunken men cavorting in the clearing in front of her. Smiler had a scar which cut grotesquely across his chin. Lugless had none of his own but wore a necklace of three dangling down to his bared hairy chest. Nightmare wore a hood, his only feature the stench of cider emanating from the hole which was his breathing opening. They had lit a fire and were dancing in its flickering light, hallooing and screaming a rough song popular at the time.

    “Oh! The sand, the sand, the sand, sand, sand
    There are camels, camels, camels, camels
    In the sand, sand, sand, sand
    Oh! The land, the land, the land, land, land
    Is full of camels, camels, camels
    Like an ‘orse with an ‘ump, ‘ump, ‘ump.
    And a very hairy rump, rump, rump”

    It seemed to the damselling, who was damselling very well despite the gag over her little mouth, that they had captured her for a stupid game for which the only purpose was to annoy her. Intermittently they would come up to her for the ‘rump, rump, rump’ lines, but they did not touch her. Although they had not been so gentlemanly when they had caught her, bound her and forced her into a large haversack with a knife at her throat.

    “Like an ‘orse with an ‘ump, ‘ump, ‘ump”

    Then it happened. Smiler spilt his drink on Lugless, who turned to blame Nightmare as his beloved ear collection soaked in rancid alcohol. Nightmare drew his knife on Lugless, who with a howl like a rusty trumpet went to lay him out with a vicious right hook. Lugless dodged it clumsily with drunken speed, stumbling into Smiler. Smiler grinned a terrible grin and shoved Lugless to the ground, tripping him, and turned on Nightmare, drawing his own knife. The two circled for a bit, until the larger Smiler stumbling on a fallen branch, the other end of which Nightmare had been stood on. As the branch tumbled, both men fell and stuck their knives into one another’s guts.

    It took the men who were too merry a little under a day to die, and the damsel in distress a further three until the delirium carried her to the Styx, rescuing her from the dying illusion she was a sausage.


    And so that brings us to the end of this edition's TotW News. Unfortunately due to a hectic schedule and the editor breathing down my neck, my little musings on a selection of entries will have to sadly left out this time, but will be back. Therefore all that remains for me do is thank the staff for running the competitions, the writers for delighting us with their tales and the voters and readers for supporting it. Thank you and goodbye.

    Coverage by wowbanger



    AAR Review Section

    Restoration of the West...and Reunification...
    An IBFD AAR for RTW:BI by Justinian Australis
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Si Deus nos spectat, non minus possumus voluptatem.
    If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

    I would like to start by stating that the author of this After Action Report is Australian. Whilst I have nothing against the Australians personally, it is a sad fact that they like their barbecued shrimp far too much for their own good. Therefore if you have a crippling seafood allergy I would highly recommend stopping now... for your own health and safety.

    Once again we bring the legen-daddy series of Modifications known as Invasio Barbarorum (sorry, I mean INVASIO BARBARORVM) into the spotlight. However unlike my last exploration into the series, we enter our time machines and set the date just a bit later; during the collapse of the Roman Empire to be precise. Enter Invasio Barbarorum : Flagellum Dei, or as I like to lovingly refer to it: Rome Total War. Papal Edition. (Yes it does actually have the pope in it.)

    Ok so with the Australian BashingTM and the general introduction to his Papalness out of the way we move onto the basics. This AAR initially started off as a fresh re-entry into the AAR scene, though with Justinian already being an accomplished writer this was no biggy. His mission statement is to simply survive; no matter what happens. Ricky Ponting Justinian Australis will roll with it and turn it into a narrative. I was already impressed and the AAR proper hadn't even started. <3

    Setting the scene is often the most important part to any venture into the halls of AARtistry; together with the gentle art of making full use of the first post to do so. The scenario that unfolds is that the West is basically jiggered. The author's style is for the most part mainstream commentary over screenshots. However his literary technique enables him to expand on this with some flair. Unlike many more highly regarded and worshipped AARtists Shane Warne Justinian has a slicker and smoother methodology, and approaches his subject with more fictional eloquence... which in my personal opinion makes the narrative far stronger. Coupled with the steady strengthening of his own prowess and his personal immersion into his work, the characters of the AAR really come alive for us, becoming more and more defined as chapters accumulate. What started as episodes of a few small paragraphs has turned into fully-fledged thousand word updates with a smattering of supporting screenshots as a sop for the textually-challenged. This maturing of Justinian's ability really stands out and has convinced me that he's not just doing this to further his forum credibility (which is one reason we all share for doing AAR's; obviously), but because he enjoys what he's doing; and for that I gladly tip my metaphorical hat in his direction.

    The screenshots are raw and uncut. Some artistic direction is used, especially to push the development of the story, however they are aren't anything overly special. To put it bluntly, I feel that they are mostly used to avoid having to write thousands of words of scene description. Other than this minor aesthetic issue I really can't take umbrage at anything Stevo Justinian has done, because when all is said and done, he has created a fantastic, engaging piece of work.

    Actually some of the pictures are quite good...



    And that is partly what inspired me to choose this AAR for review. Due to significant hardware issues the AAR came to a premature end in late January this year, ironically on a cliff hanger as well. I do offer my congratulations to Justinian for sticking to his brief as long as he did, even if he did end up actually starting to win the game instead of merely surviving as originally promised. But who am I to nay say against inconsistency to mission statements, one has to be flexible in order to cope with what the game throws up.

    Good news! Justinian is back and he is rocking with a brand spanking-new, shrimp-filled, baby-eating Dingo'd AAR with the Invasio Barborum Somnium Apostatae Juliani modification located Here. And right from the off I can assure you that his developed style hasn't changed a bit. I have nothing but praise for this AARtist and wish him all the best of luck with his new venture.

    Review by StealthEvo


    Liberty or Monarchy - An American AAR
    A DMUC AAR for ETW by Bregil
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    From the scribe
    The time period described by Empire: Total War is a terrifically intriguing one, and it’s a shame that the state of the game upon release has done little for its AAR community. There is at least one shining light among the gloom however, and it’s with great personal satisfaction that I am writing a review for an excellent ETW AAR. Being a writer of a S2TW AAR, yours truly knows all too well the feeling of writing and pressing ahead with updates knowing there would be less interest than for medieval counterparts, which makes Liberty or Monarchy all the more impressive.

    Opening statement
    The year 1783, to most Americans it was a year of great promise. Great Britain had just signed the Treaty of Paris recognizing the independence of the United States of America. In most communities across the former 13 Colonies, church bells rang and there was celebrating in the streets. Beneath the veneer of gaiety and jubilation, however, lurked the seeds of discontent. While the Continental Army had mostly managed to hold it's own against the British Army, it seemed to many (especially the soldiers) that it was in spite of the Continental Congress and various state legislatures rather than due to any significant contributions to the war effort by these bodies. The fact that many soldiers and sailors were still waiting for pay from a broke government only stoked resentment. General Washington's actions in formally returning the authority of Commander in Chief to Congress and resigning command helped alleviate some of the tension and prevented an immediate crisis. In the end, most decided to adopt a wait-and-see approach and give Congress a chance.
    Liberty or Monarchy is played with the legendary DMUC mod and follows the travails of the Thirteen Colonies. Described in the third person, it plots an intriguing storyline with the Colonies choosing to opt for a constitutional monarchy. We follow the fledgling nation in its struggle against first the British, and then the Spanish empires, both eager to exploit any weaknesses in the colonies. A series of battles ensue both on land and at sea as the Colonies seek to protect its existence.

    Writing and presentation
    The story is well written with a smooth flowing tone throughout and maintains a high technical quality in terms of spelling and grammar. The narrative tends to be fairly concise and remains loyal to the campaign while delivering a thoroughly enjoyable story, albeit one that is a little simplistic at times. Events from across the nation are explained effectively, and a large cast of characters were taken from the campaign. While each has been given distinctive roles in the war effort, I did feel the characters could have been developed further. Nonetheless the political wrangling amongst the various characters gives the story an interesting side plot and help add colour to campaign developments:

    Colonel Pope, fearful that Barstow may have had treasonous correspondence from Pope himself on his person when he died, immediately relocated to Lewes, Delaware before he could be arrested. He knew he was not in a very tenable position having only just begun his recruitment efforts when Barstow was killed. He had, however, managed to persuade a few fellow officers to join his cause. As a result, he had a small force of Rangers and cavalry at his disposal. His force was dramatically strengthened, however, when Commodore Barry, incensed at what in his mind was a betrayal of the American People by the Ainsley government, authorized the marine detachments aboard his frigates to join with Pope if they so chose. Temporarily organized into a single regiment, the marines were a tremendous boon to Pope's forces.
    The AAR is blessed with a large number of excellently taken screenshots, with images of battle being a particular highlight. Being the first game to use the Warscape engine, ETW brings a dimension not before experienced in Total War games – the naval battle – and this AAR does well to highlight the beauty of the game’s imagery. Suitably sized and well cropped, the screenshots help readers to visualise the story.






    In terms of presentation, Liberty or Monarchy keeps to the basics, with a consistent format used throughout for both text and imagery.

    Critique
    This AAR is an engaging read with an interesting story line, and takes full advantage of Warscape’s beautiful game imagery. My two cents for the author:
    • Perhaps more back story to flesh out some of the main characters?
    • Some of the political aspects of the campaign were rather interesting and it was a shame the author didn’t develop them further, even if that would break from the author’s fidelity to campaign events
    • Spoilers are used for all of the images. While this keeps the AAR looking clean asking readers to click on spoilers every other few lines is immersion breaking and could be done without, especially given the images are well sized as it is
    • Some of the screenshots contain much game UI which is a peeve of mine. Removing game UI generally improves immersion, in my opinion
    • ETW is to blame for the fact that historical fidelity is rather low in terms of in game characters, which is unfortunate given the number of colourful characters during the era. Perhaps this is one area where one could deviate a little from the game?


    Conclusion
    I have no reservations in saying this is a particular highlight among ETW AAR’s. Since starting the AAR in March of last year the AAR has been updated regularly with the author keeping his readership well informed of progress. If you’ve only been reading RTW and M2TW stories thusfar I highly encourage you to step out into the new world (literally) and give Liberty or Monarchy a go. You might be pleasantly surprised, and your support might even let us find out what happens to the Kingdom of America!

    Review by robinzx


    Restoring Rome
    An SS6.4 AAR for M2TW by Schrödinger
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Hi everyone, this is my first review so I’m not promising anything

    I was looking through the AAR forums one day and came across one titled: [SS 6.4] Restoring Rome and I thought to myself Stainless Steel? The Romans? This is something I didn’t want to miss out on. So I clicked on the link, made myself a cuppa to tackle the extremely slow loading time my computer offers, and then began to read.
    The first thing I noticed was this:
    used to be known as Tweety, long time ago
    Now I had an author’s name, maybe some of you will know who Tweety was but I must confess that I didn’t, so I simply knew him as Schrödinger. The author then goes on to say:
    this will be a mix of battle/character building, I like to role play but also to fight...
    Brilliant! An AAR that from the beginning promises a plotline as well as some action, what more do you want? And then I got on to reading the AAR.

    It opens with a character called ‘Ioannis’ who is the Emperor’s son brushing up on his archery with his “friend” Yaroslav. It continues with Ioannis having a conversation with a mysterious Turk. One thing I liked about this first update was the level of description the writer included:
    And the Turk left, his hat slipping slightly as he stood, to reveal a golden nose, burning dark eyes and thick caterpillar brows.
    This is just an example, you’ll have to read it to get the full picture. Although the first update was lacking in pictures, the descriptions really helped you imagine what was going on, something I think is great. The next update introduced a new character called ‘Dimitra’ Yes you’ve got it, a female one. Now I haven’t read many AARs from a female point of view so I was quite intrigued. It turns out this character was none other than Ioannis' soon-to-be partner, this, I thought, would open up some great twists. It was quite a short update containing just a conversation between future man and wife, but an interesting one at that. Here is a snippet of the convo which really gets across how these two love-birds feel about each other:
    “We are to be wed.” his tone was bored, somewhat disinterested as he didn’t even look at her, his betrothed, preferring to examine instead his imperial fingernails.
    Again this update was lacking in pictures, but it’s understandable as the game doesn’t offer screens of couples talking. At the end, however, the author explains the reason for lack of pictures, he is waiting for “interesting ingame bit” Fair enough? The first two chapters had been interesting enough so what the author thinks is interesting must be pretty good.
    We are then introduced into another character ‘Iakovos’ I won’t go into too much of the plot detail, I wouldn’t want to ruin it for you. This update does however include some pictures, much to my delight, one of them is of a view of ‘Phillipus’ Hill’ which, unfortunately, I didn’t know anything about.


    The other is of our first battle between the Romans and some local rebels


    It is a good picture which, as you can see, is nicely cropped and gives us a good idea of the action. My only criticism would be to have more of them! The next update goes back to Ioannis and the trials and tribulations he faces being the Emperor’s son, one of such being around this mysterious Turk, who I quickly find is becoming my mascot.
    truly the Turk was like a bad smell.
    Another update and another character, this time ‘Mikhail’ a Kievan merchant. The number of different characters is a double-edge sword. It shows effecting writing skill as the author can switch between characters whilst keeping their identities, but some may find it confusing trying to keep track of who is who, the author counteracts this to some extent by including a large portrait of the character whose POV we are currently looking through. This update also includes a rather nice map which gives us some idea of how the Roman Empire is doing:


    Another battle also occurs which gives us the opportunity to view some more screens:




    These two are prime examples of the authors skill in screen takings, they are nicely cropped and seem to be taken at exactly the right time. My criticism would be that I often find it hard to distinguish who is friend from foe, which I guess is something that can’t really be helped but maybe a little editing would improve them.

    I feel like I am going on, so I’ll wrap it up there. So far it has been updated regularly, the story is really developing nicely, and the author seems to have a talent for writing. My criticisms are few and far between. I would recommend more pictures to help show what is happening in the campaign, make the battles a bit more detailed (which can’t be helped if there hasn’t been any) and the biggy, for me, not so much the number of characters, merely remembering who is who – which would be a more difficult task for someone just joining the AAR. Therefore I would recommend including a little ‘Character Bio’ at the beginning just to refresh our memories on who is who.

    Apart from that I think this AAR is coming along nicely, and you’d be missing out on not reading it. I mean things seemingly just about to kick off. Dimitra has just had a child, but questions of whose it is are asking, people are pushing for wars, other for peace, peoples agendas are becoming clearer so more and more plots are developing, and our Turkish friend is always there, in the shadows. Surely he is up to something, but what?

    So come along and give Restoring Rome a read, I believe things are about to get real wild

    Review by Shankbot12


    Unification of the Gauls
    An EB AAR for RTW by Vercingetorix King of Gauls
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    1. Introduction
    This AAR first caught my notice because of two things. First of all the mod is exceptionally suited for AARs due to a high sophistication of the trait and ancillary system, allowing a very deep exploration of your characters while staying true to the gameplay. Secondly is the peculiar faction of choice, the Arverni, and their objective of conquering the world basically. This setup for a campaign should (and did) prove to be great AAR material, but more about that later. First, allow the author to explain the how and why of his AAR in his own words.


    - How did you come up with the idea for your AAR?
    I got interested in Gauls few years ago, in the time I started playing RTW. Later I begun playing EB, one really fantastic mod. I also watched the Vercingetorix movie and I was delighted! It gave me an idea to make this AAR - I wanted to unify the Gauls, as Vercingetorix wanted to. Also, another goal was to burn Rome again, as Brennos did.
    - What do you think is the strength and weakness of your writing?
    I think I am not very competent to give the opinion of my own work, but I'd say I can describe the events and characters pretty well. I didn't have many dialogs so far, but I'm trying to correct that and I probably don't use the right word every time. I think my writing is now a bit better then it was when this AAR started. I'd also like to mention English isn't my native language, since I'm from Serbia.
    - Why did you choose that particular mod/timeframe?
    EB is an excellent mod with lots of details and great units that give a totally different feeling. The starting situation of the Arverns seemed as a real challenge, so it was just perfect for this kind of AAR! I didn't change the numbers, but I do X10 for them when I write the update. Also, I have an ambition to make similar AAR starting 82BC when EB Ordo Novus Mundi is finished.


    2. Writing
    The author is not a native speaker nor is he a native of a country with close contact to English speakers and this should be taken into consideration. His writing is usually in a matter-of-fact style with little embellishment and although that might trouble me in other AARs, it doesn't in this one because of the focus this story has: conquering the world. Butchering cities rarely needs eloquent poetry in my opinion. The piece below is from his opening post (and thus first update) and one can tell English is not his native tongue.

    We, Arverni offered unification of all Gallic tribes, we offered Aedui leader to become King of Gauls, with me as his heir. Aedui rejected, and wanted to rule Gauls alone, with us as their slaves.
    Although mistakes are still present in his most recent updates, they have become fewer in number and the author does take corrections and suggestions to heart, like here in my own post. The author's dedication to improving and correcting his spelling is admirable but many mistakes could be avoided by using a few simple tools like spellingcheck in MS Word.

    On the actual story:
    The scope of this AAR is an epic one, in the literal meaning of the word. Rather than focus on a single character and his exploits, the author gives us accounts of great battles and the ransacking of cities. This has benefits but several downsides as well. One cannot really get attached to characters on such a level as the events around them are dominating the story and the characters sometimes drift to the background. I cannot really offer much analysis apart from the fact that it might be a good idea for the author to slow down the pace of his AAR. What do I mean by that? Well, he could stop taking territory and focus on internal problems, which always provide good ideas for conspiracies and such plot changes. It might offer a new perspective on the story and attract more readers, though this is of course just a suggestion.

    Another peculiar error I noticed is that the author rarely uses an article before nouns like "Gauls", which might be explained by the author's native tongue. Take this quote below for example:

    As Amminos and I are getting older, it’s very important to decide who will succeed us and lead Gauls to new, great victories. Therefore, our whole Royal family will meet in Cenabum on the day when Gauls celebrate Beltane, the end of the winter and the beginning of the spring.
    I would advise the author to double-check his updates for this kind of error before posting, because even to me (also a non-native English speaker) these mistakes really stand out.

    Then there is the matter of using the in-game language. The author always refers to the Romans as "Romani" but he does not know that "Romani" is actually more than just "the Romans". Grammatically it means "the Romans" but with the connotation that they are the subject of the verb. Take the example below from his AAR.

    Our men couldn’t wait to start killing Romani
    As a former longtime Latin student I have to point out that this is an error and if the author wishes to maintain an air of verisimilitude then the Latin for "Romans" has to be used correctly, i.e. with the correct case. "Romani" is nominative plural, but in the case about the Romans he refers to are the object of the verb "killing" and thus "Romani" should be in the plural accusative case, i.e. "Romanos". A small error you might think, but the author uses this word very often and it is not correct. Obviously going back to all the previous updates would be too much effort, but I would advise him to adjust it in the next updates.

    Those are really the only things that struck me as problematic. The writing is on a grand scale so do not expect a detailed and complicated novel, but rather a grand scheme to conquer the world and everything that goes with it, like butchering populations and destroying armies.

    3. Graphical elements
    Not much to complain about in the graphical aspect of this AAR. I would advise the author, when taking screenshots, to disable the arrow markings. They are ugly and distract too much like in the example below.


    No real issues otherwise and the author has a keen eye for good angles and interesting compositions. Something I quite enjoyed are the consistent updates with a little overview of the map at the very end. This really allows us to follow progress in the conquest, an essential element considering this AAR is conquest focused.


    It adds a very nice touch to the updates and I have much praise for the author's consistency in doing this.

    4. Conclusion
    If you're looking for a battle-heavy and epic AAR then you've come to the right place and this story will surely please you, but those looking for a deeply emotional or character intensive story will be disappointed. To the author I have nothing but praise for his determined efforts in writing this AAR in a language so different from his own. Should he be able to work out the problems I mentioned and if he puts his updates in MS Word for a spellcheck before submitting then I'm sure this will soon become one of the classics in EB AARing and perhaps even AARing in general. Well done, Vercingetorix, and keep up the good work!

    Review by Boustrophedon


    England AAR: The Tales of a Kingdom
    An SS6.4 AAR for M2TW by Shankbot12
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Over the years there have been a multitude of England AARs, and this one is developing nicely. One of the first AARs I read on my return to the forums after a two-year hiatus, it really grabbed me as a bright spark. Quite a way into the story, it has really come on, with C&C help from robinzx and la coupe est pleine of particular help to the writer, who has matured dramatically from the early stages. So, onto the story itself. Basically, I am going to concentrate on volume 2, the tales told in diary format (and told well) of Eustace the Bastard, a Bastard from the far wings of the English royal family


    Well, first, it does seem wonderfully English, even to an Englishman such as myself, I recognise with joy the Englishness oozing from this English AAR. Men shout 'bloody hell' on a regular basis and an atmosphere among the leaders evocative of Imperial Britain is there. One of my favourite examples is here, a characterful excerpt representative of the story-led parts of the AAR:

    'I'm Walter Mountford by the way,' extending his hand towards me. 'Eustace Radcliffe, m'lord' I replied shaking his hand. 'Right, enough chit-chat, we've got business to attend to,' Lord Mountford Senior rumbled from the back of the tent, 'Take a seat everyone, take a seat. Now I know all of you are wondering what my plans are concerning the current campaign, and I am pleased to announce are next target will be...'

    Silence

    'Paris!' A roar of approval went up from the men. Mountford indulged them for a minute and then silenced them with his hand, 'Pick up your orders on the way out, we march first thing in the morning.' Another roar of approval. 'Eustace, Walter say behind, the rest of you dismissed!'
    Regard the 'chit-chat' and the English joy at having a Paris to march on. Regard and revel in them. The easy charisma this AAR is written in makes it like a relaxing warm bubble bath to read. Which is not to say that it is dull, far from it, for Shankbot12 comes into his own when reporting from the battlefield. On the fields of death he maintains the persona we grow to love (usually, but not spoiling anything here...) but I can't show you really without spoiling anything, so head off there if you want to see. Instead, his screenshots:




    Which are invariably tastefully edited with clear ability on photoshop and a good eye. Although not representing a paragon of crystal clear graphics utilising the full capability of the engine, this has never really bothered me, perhaps as a result of never having had them on my own game. Also, he more than compensates for any lack with his shots themselves. Another interesting and as far as I am aware, unique, device is the washing out of a screen apart from the character...


    Which adds a slick professional edge to this AAR, already oozing character and bursting atmosphere from the seams, augmented perfectly by the regimented screenshots.

    To conclude, updated as often as real life allows, Tales of England has come on since December, switching from Vanilla to SS and into its second volume. The only small cons there are to it are the niggling spelling mistakes (in particular of farther for father) and if one were being picky the inconsistent updates. However, they are well worth waiting for.

    PROS :-
    Immersion to the extreme, you really feel a part of the writer's world
    Well-edited tasteful screenshots with some interesting additions

    CONS:-
    Small spelling mistakes littered throughout, especially "farther"
    Inconsistent updates, but understandable due to real life commitments

    OVERALL:
    An immersive experience, well recommended but could do with further polishing. Hopefully with time will become a stalwart of the AAR forums, certainly has the potential, keep up the work Shankbot!

    Review by Schrödinger


    The Hunter of Blunders
    An Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim AAR by LuckyLewis
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    I thought I'd share a few stories of my character in Skyrim. He's a pretty ineffective character, low level and all that jazz. He's been dumped into the middle of Skyrim's vast wilderness. His inventory stripped of nothing but his armour, bow, shield and a handful of arrows. He no longer has a single coin, nor a single potion, he has very little left. To make matters worse, this clumsy chap has to eat, drink and sleep thanks to a certain modification. He'll have to hunt for food and keep an essential supply of water. He will have to find a place to rest, whether it be a creepy cave or a abandoned bandit camp. He will have to find a way to make coin in order to treat himself to the warmth of a tavern or the taste of a sweet roll. He will have to do all to fight for his survival while a civil war rages across the land and Dragons darken the skies.
    The Hunter in Lucky Lewis’ AAR is perhaps not the character you would be most happy to use in your Skyrim game, but maybe that is the genius of it.

    When I came across this AAR looking in the non-Total War games AAR section, my first thought was; there already is a Skyrim AAR, why do we need a new one? I opened it, noticed that it was by a moderator and started reading. First the introduction over, it looked funny, and something new and that I might have been wrong about that we did not need another one.

    I started reading the first chapter, and was struck by the pictures first. They were so nicely shot, and stood perfect to the writing. I can’t imagine how long time it must have taken to get those pictures the way he wanted them. And the resolution is also great, the pictures are relatively large, but not too large and the loading time is therefore not so long.

    Our Hero


    And his antagonist!


    The story is written in third person, and Lewis recounts it in a lively way. While I was reading, the voice of the narrator came through to me as being strikingly similar to that from the movie '300'. If you have seen the movie you are bound to get what I mean. If not, go watch it.

    I really like the way it is written, sort of mocking the hunter and at the same time you think it is serious.

    When I was done with the first chapter, I was so impressed I scrolled down as fast as I could to read the next, and I was not disappointed after the good start. As I write this, however, there are no more chapters.

    Here are some of the comments by the readers;

    "Those are glorious shots, Lewis."

    "Lewis...another AAR by your hand? Bound to be epic!"

    "wonderful life this hunter has."

    "good lord. That was impressive."

    "Superior storytelling, Lewis."
    In the second chapter, the Hunter encounters many of the creatures of Skyrim, and gives a promising future for the AAR.
    I am looking forward to reading more of this. The storytelling, the pictures everything is done with great care and makes this enjoyable to read.

    To conclude I will use pluses and minuses:
    • Plus: Lewis uses the pictures very well, and they are detailed and with high resolution.
    • Plus: His writing style is very entertaining and gives a great deal of soul to the story.
    • Minus: Hard to find anything here, but perhaps Lucky Lewis should write longer descriptions, personally I think that would add depth to the story.

    Review by HeirofAlexander


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    Juvenal's Avatar love your noggin
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33


    Article Section

    AARtistry: World and Setting Development
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Alright, what is the thing that is most important in an AAR?
    Plot? True.
    Characters? True.
    Chapters? True again.
    This is true in case for all such aspects. But what is a very vital component is the setting, the world. This is what we shall discuss here. And also, I would be glad if this turns out to be informative to anyone too.

    The Who, What, and Where of it.
    So, what about it? Setting or the world is an important part of the AAR. The AAR could do without it of course. But it would be more like a journal reports. Something like the small example before.

    The King ruled from the capital. He took an army and defeated a horde of barbarians. He went on further conquests. Finally he died on a hill.

    Informative? Quite so. But was it enjoyable to read? Even if it would be, it was all over before you could start to enjoy it. For every plot there is a setting. In simple words a place where the plots unfolds. It could be a timeline (Ancient, Medieval), or a specific era (Hundred years war, Napoleonic), or simply a place (Real, Fantasy).

    The above is setting, related to the plot. But what about the rest of the story? Does it come there too? Yes it does, and even you can do it too. Another example.

    Robert strapped on his armour. His armour was of mail, it's metallic texture glinting in the winter morning. He inhaled the chillness, as if it were steeling him for the charge. He pulls out his steel blade. He had polished it the night before. He sat on his black mount, contemplating the sights before him. From the hill he stood on, he could see the flank of the enemy. He feels a little flutter in his stomach. With mounting joy, he realises that the flank was unguarded. He waves his sword above the head to signal the advance.

    Well, if you gist the above down, it comes down to two things.
    1. Robert is sitting on a horse,
    2. He signals a cavalry charge.

    Now, when you look at the two examples, which ones would you enjoy to read? A brief up to the point report, or a richly descriptive paragraph.

    So, What it's all about?
    To be very honest, it can be about many things. It can mean the world around the plot. Simply put, where the plot takes place. It can include a lot of things.
    • The location,
    • The climate,
    • The scenery,
    • Personal effects of characters

    And everything that would make your story more colorful. What do you think is a vital reason of success for Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter series? It is the level of detail put into the books. It almost takes us, or rather our senses, into their world. So, along with reading it, you can feel the story too.

    So, how do we get all that?
    Now, we come to the concluding part of the article. And that part is -> Applying it into your AAR. SO not to lengthen the article, but to round it up properly, I'll put a few vital points that can be used.
    • Relevance -> Whatever detail you might put in the story, it should be at least relevant to the plot, or a sub-plot. If you'd like some suspense, you can make it relevant to the future plots. This would add flavour to your story. No use mentioning aliens in a medieval AAR.
    • Detail -> Whatever you do, make it detailed. But the balance must be perfect, you have to adjust the level of detail such that it is not dry (less) or boring (big heap).
    • Immersion -> This is rather a subjective matter. It means that unless you are immersed in your AAR, the reader would not be too. So, make sure you enjoy writing it, and automatically the reader would enjoy reading it.

    Well, that's all for this article. My best wishes to all reading this.
    Thank you.

    By m_1512


    Casting call: characters in AARs
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Movies these days come in all shapes and sizes, but a set of common themes run through each of them. Think of the last movie you watched, or the last book you read, and the chances are that what you remember the most vividly will be the characters and how you connected to them. Perhaps Decimus Maximus’ heroism inspired you in Gladiator, or perhaps the enigmatic Sherlock Holmes impressed you with his genius – or maybe Katniss Everdeen struck a chord with you… because you are easily impressed? Whatever your answer to these questions, it is hopefully clear that a strong cast of characters is the lifeblood of any good tale. They allow the reader to connect to them on a personal emotional level, and achieve a higher level of immersion. In this article I shall attempt to play muse and hopefully provide a modicum of inspiration for the budding AAR writer, first examining the most readily available character archetypes in AARs and the ways to build up their personalities so that they seem alive to the reader.

    Starting out
    Just like any real person, each of your characters needs a plausible and easily recognisable identity. Fortunately in AAR writing the game provides various tidbits that form the the basic information required. In TW AARs this often includes a name and title, family, and maybe some personality traits over time. Often the starting characters of a game will provide an adequate starting cast – usually the protagonist, perhaps some support characters, and maybe one or more antagonists. One does not have to stop here however – imaginary characters work just as well as their game-oriented counterparts. The key is for each character to be believable and have backgrounds that relate logically to the time period as well as other characters. Calling your characters Abdul and Mohammed may not work the best for a story set in medieval France, for example. Sometimes deliberate mismatches could be used to spectacular effect, but in such cases a plausible explanation of the mismatch must be prepared – how Abdul came to be in medieval France.

    Main characters
    Your main characters are the blood and soul of your story, and a small group of well-defined main characters will punctuate your readership’s relationship with your story. Being the centrepiece of your story, each main character should have a recognisable persona with a well-defined background, personality traits and a purpose to serve. Often it is helpful for main characters to be defined in pairs or in small groups so that characters can be contrasted against one another, and so that there are opportunities for interaction. Good versus evil is a simple yet effective, if a little overused, dichotomy. Male and female characters can be paired as potential lovers. Old and young can become mentor and protégé. Etcetera.

    Support characters
    Depending on the importance of the role, a support character’s personality and background can be described in great depth, or not at all. In either case the support character’s primary role is to cause some kind of interaction with the main characters in such a way that readers are able to learn more about the latter in specific ways or to progress a story in some way that doesn't involve the main characters. As a result support characters are important for not only their intrinsic value but also what they are able to bring out in their more illustrious cousins. A childhood friend can relate stories of childhood. An old flame can provoke forgotten emotions. A sibling can reveal thoughts of jealousy and rivalry. The possibilities are quite literally limitless. Sometimes in third person stories an inglorious support character can even be used as the narrator, providing a withdrawn, somewhat more objective perspective of the action.

    A good idea is to maintain a relatively large cast of support characters, even if some have no immediate use to speak of. These “dormant” support characters are stored away for future use, and can be employed once suitable events that related logically to a character comes to pass in the story. They can also be used as side plots or distractions from the main plotline, and are a wonderful device for treating writer’s block.

    Character development
    People change over time, and AAR characters should be no different. Over the course of an AAR, all characters should show some sign of development – not just through the accumulating of victories and battle scars – but also in terms of how such events their personalities. It is important that as the reader follows the story he feels that he has grown with the characters, and as characters grow their personalities – anything from their approach to events to their thought processes – should vary accordingly. For the main characters, it is especially important that as the story progresses, these characters are seen to be progressing along a defined trajectory along a story arc, be it a personal mission, a goal set by another, or some other form of landmark. Having the reader feel the glory of success – or even the pain of failure – could all help to bring him closer to your main character. A glorious victory could galvanise the tentative squire. The consummation of love could cause a brazen warrior to review his priorities. The loss of a loved one, on the other hand, could traumatise a character in some way.

    Twists and turns are essential to any good story, and just as in real life, your main characters should experience unexpected events once in a while. These help to break them from clichéd models of archetypal roles which can make the character seem predictable and uninteresting if adhered to for too long. This is where support characters – be it one you've put on the back burner or one who is freshly introduced – and their interaction with other characters comes in. Perhaps a distant cousin has arrived with tragic news of a death at home? Maybe a traveller brings news of the impending Mongol invasion? A battle and the death and suffering that comes with it could give a character a new outlook on life?

    Dialogue
    Dialogue between characters is one of the best ways to emphasize personalities and sensitivities, but also one of the hardest to get right. In order to create an authentic dialogue, the author must put himself in the position of the character. Only by understanding his or her goals and worries would the writer be able to create dialogue that is both logical and vivid sounding.

    Equally important is the tone of voice of the characters. Old men talk differently from young men, and superiors address their subordinates differently than vice versa. One way of mimicking realistic speech is to think of persons in real life or fictional persona you are familiar with and who are similar to the AAR character and imagine how these people would speak in different scenarios. The authentic use of period titles and honorifics also helps to improve authenticity.

    Requiescat in pace
    Killing a, or even the, main character is one of the most poignant things any writer can do – to both his readership and himself. If you’ve invested adequately into a main character, suddenly killing him will – unless you’ve provided adequate foreshadowing and maybe even then – almost certainly provoke feelings of shock, sadness, disappointment, and even anger among your readership. Even when the killing of a main character is well executed the anguish it causes may cause some among your readership to protest against your decision, or even to abandon the “ruined” story all together. The death of a well-crafted character may even cause the author himself to lose heart in the plot, fearing it is tainted by the death.

    Despite these potential pitfalls, sometimes killing a main character can be an incredibly powerful way to bring the story to a climax, for example at the end of the story. The trauma you cause in your readers can multiply the glory of his life and the significance of his sacrifice. The final moments of a main character – be it a melancholic swansong or a heroic last stand – can help take him to that next level of greatness.

    In the event that you’ve decided to kill the main character, the key is to do it in a manner that seems meaningful and is “epic” in some way. It would be rather silly for your main character to trek across the desert in search of vengeance only to die of an infection, for example. Permanence is another important attribute of such plot turns – that brave sacrifice will lose all meaning if your character is brought back to life somehow a few chapters later.

    Either way, killing the main character isn’t a decision to be taken lightly, and is certainly not for the faint hearted.

    Conclusion
    An iconic set of characters are key to any AAR story. Invest well in them and both you and your readers will be rewarded in abundance. Being able to write with a sense of authenticity and sensitivity come from experience and practice – so get writing!

    By robinzx


    How to use Speech in Writing
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    I have recently been reading 'The Elements of Style' by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White. It is a great book and I would recommend it to anyone interested in improving on their grammar etc. This brings me on to writing this article. I'll be the first to admit not always using speech properly, for many years I was confused with the whole process - either due to being taught incorrectly, or not being taught at all! So I will be bringing in some of Strunk's 'rules' in this article, and I hope it helps you when you next write.

    First and foremost is punctuating speech, it is the foundation for any effective use of speech - and by using it correctly your writing will improve massively. Use a comma or period between the dialogue and the tag line (the words used to identify the speaker: "he said/she said"):

    "I really want to go to the beach this afternoon," she said as they exited the car.

    Periods and commas go inside the quotation marks, but remember if you use a period to end a dialogue then the first letter of the tag line must be capitalised, as in any normal sentence.

    Wrong: "I really want to go to the beach this afternoon." she said as they exited the car.

    Correct: "I really want to go to the beach this afternoon." She said as they exited the car."

    Other punctuation - semicolons, question marks, dashes, and exclamation points - go outside the speech marks unless it is actually part of the dialogue.

    Bob was wondering what Jane had said, was it, "I love cake!"?

    In this case Bob is asking the question, Jane didn't use it when she spoke. On the other hand:

    Bob had heard Jane fine. She had said, "Can I have some cake?"

    Jane asked the question when she was speaking, so it goes inside the speech marks. Also note that sentences end with only one mark of punctuation. Don't use double punctuation marks, but go with the 'stronger' punctuation. (Question marks and exclamation points are 'stronger' than commas and periods.)

    When a tag line interrupts the dialogue, it should be set off by commas. Note that the first letter of the second half of the dialogue is in lower case, as in this example:

    "That is," Bob said, "we are both having some cake."

    Make sure that your tag lines don't awkwardly interrupt the sentence, instead place them where the 'break' would appear naturally if someone was speaking. The best way to check this is read the sentence out loud and see where it fits the best e.g.:

    "Once more do you," Bob continued, "like cake?" This doesn't read well, but:

    "Once more," Bob continued, "do you like cake?" This flows much better, and the interruption appears where it feels natural

    To signal a quotation within dialogue, use single quotes: "Have you read 'The Critics Quill' yet?" he asked Shankbot12.

    Next is the layout of speech in writing. Always start a new paragraph each time the speaker changes within the dialogue. If there is action involved with a speaking character, keep the description of the action within the same paragraph as the person who is speaking. This is important because it makes it easier for the reader to follow who is speaking, and generally makes the story easier to read. For example:

    "Hi Jack," said Gill as she walked up the hill. "How are you?" "I'm fine thanks Gill, yourself?" Jack replied. "I've been better actually." "Oh, what's the matter?" Jack questioned.

    As you can see, this is quite difficult to follow. Something like the following would be much better:
    "Hi Jack, How are you?" said Gill as she walked up the hill.

    "
    I'm fine thanks Gill, yourself?" Jack replied.

    "I've been better actually."

    "Oh, what's the matter?" Jack questioned.


    When writing in conversations like this it is important to remember:
    • Do not use dialogue simply to convey information. It should set the scene, advance action, give insight into characterization, remind the reader, and foreshadow.
    • Keep the character's voice in mind, but there must be a balance between realistic speech and readability. Don't use too much colloquialism or misspelling in order to create a character's voice. Also remember to use speech as a tool to develop characters. Word choice tells a reader a lot about a person such as appearance.
    • Tension, sometimes saying nothing, or the opposite of what we know a character feels, is the best way to create tension.

    This example is not only easier to read, but flows a lot better and will make noticing speech in large blocks of text easier. The bit in red is still on the same line as the same person is speaking, it doesn't matter that an action has separated it, before it was difficult to make out who was speaking then, this way it is clear and easy to follow. . You could also put the speech in to italics which again makes it easier for the reader to see who is speaking.

    Finally we have the mysterious surrounding the use of 'said.' Strunk writes on the subject of whether to use said or not:
    Quote Originally Posted by Strunk
    "They [inexperienced writers] do this, apparently, in the belief that the word said is always in need of support, or because they have been told to do it by experts in the art of bad writing."
    This, I find, is right on the mark. I remember always being told not to use said, replace it with something that describes it better. This is complete cobblers, speech is about, as is all form of fiction writing, 'showing, not telling' - let the dialogue tell the reader how the speaker feels, good writers will imply what the emotions are. Don't use tags to convey emotion or action, For example:

    "But I don't want to go to school yet," she moaned.

    Here a good writer would conjure up a scene of a moaning girl:

    She stood by the front door with her hands balled into little fists, flailing about in the air. Her red, tear-filled eyes glared up at her father. "But I don't want to go to school yet."

    This greatly improves the description of the sentence, and clearly creates an image in the readers head. This couldn't be achieved by using adverbs alongside said. However, descriptive tags are necessary at sometimes, but they should only be used sparingly.

    I hope this article has helped you as much as it has helped me. Safe to say from now on I'll be checking how I write dialogue. If you remember everything here you'll be writing like [INSERT ANY AUTHOR YOU LIKE HERE] in no time. If you take one thing away from this make sure it's Strunk's golden rule on dialogue:
    Quote Originally Posted by Strunk
    It is a total loss unless you indicate who the speaker is.
    By Shankbot12


    Scriptorium Competition Section

    Scriptorium Winter Writing Competition

    Every year the Scriptorium organises Summer and Winter writing competitions. Now the Winter competition has been over for while and we at the Quill feel that the time has come to remind you of just how good the submissions were. So for your reading pleasure we present reviews of all three category winners, plus the Librarian's Choice winner.

    Although you might be tempted to use the reviews to decide whether to read the corresponding stories, don't forget these are all winners and therefore well worth reading anyway. So why not try reading the story first and then see if the review strikes a chord with you?

    Please feel free to post your impressions of the stories, and to critique our reviews, your opinions are always welcome.

    Poetry: Victory Shall be Ours
    A poem by Maximinus Thrax
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    The librarians at the Scriptorium received many entries for this year’s Winter competition, and, obviously not everybody can win, so I would like to take the time to give an honorable mention to those entries who did not receive enough votes to win a medal. On a brighter note, I have here Maximinus Thrax’s poem, ‘Victory shall be ours’, which allocated enough voters to garner second prize at this year’s competition.

    Angry over the condition of their state following the Seven Year’s War, suffocated by the exuberance of the Parisian (and other) nobles, and presumably enraged by the continued dominance of the church in everyday life, the poem is ostensibly about the citizens of France rebelling against their monarch, Louis the Sixteenth, and attempting to fight their way to a stronger, democratic, France.

    There are several interesting aspects about the poem. The tone employed by the speaker is very formal, confident; and in this sense, the level of language employed here (once again we must assume, but I would guess an officer in the army) proves effective because, one, the language mirrors on some level the way people in the early nineteenth century spoke, and, two, because we can reasonably expect an officer, who is presumably educated, to be able to speak using sophisticated patterns of speech. Interestingly, several words or phrases are capitalized, including ‘Light of Freedom’, ‘Temple of Liberties’, and ‘Abode of Equity’. Naturally, these are ideas important to the thematic relevance of the poem.

    When I first read the poem, just by looking at the poem itself in fact, I thought it must have a definite meter and rhyme scheme though, in actuality, it does not. I counted iambs, then trochees, and even a spondee or two before I gave up on there being a regular meter. I bring this up because I think this poem needs to have a regularized meter (not free verse with a rhyme scheme (and rhymes are kind of overrated anyway)) because the language of the poem, the theme of the poem, and, most of all, the time period of the piece denotes relics of bygone days. Of course this beckons the question of which poetic form to use, and I think you would be well served by researching 19th (I suppose late 18th as well) century French poetry and reading the canonical poems of the era. Writing about France using a French form will add a layer of authenticity to the work, and will expose you to new types of poetry.

    Also, before I bring the review to a close, I’m not sure how I feel about the line concerning the god Mars in the last stanza. The invocation of any god (Greek or Roman or Christian) seems to undermine several of the fundamental philosophical concerns behind the French Revolution, including the wish to further weaken papal authority and, most importantly, the idea that man can, without any outside influence, make his own fate.

    I would like to again thank everyone who voted in the competition. Like many of you, I eagerly await the next competition.

    Review by Absalom, Absalom!


    Short Fiction: Catherine
    A story by HeirofAlexander
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Let me say at the outset that I feel HeirofAlexander's story is a well-deserved winner. It is taken from the first 'Chapter' of his story 'Blood & Iron', but it works just as well as a stand-alone (although if you enjoyed this chapter I would recommend you go on and read the whole thing).

    Written in the 3rd person, it depicts a woman unable to get to sleep. She feels driven to question her relationship with her husband who is preparing to go off on campaign at the King's command. It is a very emotive piece, you sense a steady rise of tension in the protagonist. First Catherine worries about how she will manage to rule her husband's Castle whilst he is away, then her motherly instincts take over as she becomes scared, angry even, that two of her sons, who in her eyes are still little boys, are going on campaign as well. But finally she remembers her wedding day, and how fabulous it all was, and how the stories of Knights in shining armour had come true. This seems to calm her whirling thoughts and allow her to return to the more inconsequential concerns of the moment.

    The story reaches out to you as the reader, and makes you feel what Catherine is going through and creates an atmosphere of sympathy towards her. It portrays a generally unexplored view on the negative effects of war, and the hardships and worries it brings to those left behind. This is what makes it such an interesting story - it differs from the norm and explores something different. Grammatically this piece is almost perfect, punctuation is effective and not overly used, while the spelling is faultless. There are a few occasions where the sentence could do with some proofing and revising e.g.
    He is the best thing that has happened this part of England.
    But this is just me being picky. The description provided is of good quality, but a little more wouldn't have hurt the story - again just a minor thing. Overall it is a brilliant piece, and a solid foundation for a full story that must surely be even better.

    Review by Shankbot12


    Long Fiction: Forlorn Hope
    A story by Inarus
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    This is a story about the storming of Ciudad Rodrigo in 1812 during the Peninsula War. Oddly enough, the first time I came across the phrase 'Forlorn Hope' was when reading about this very assault in Michael Glover's book about the war (picked up on a whim whilst on holiday). It refers to the storming party that first attempts the breach made by the siege artillery. The irony of the euphemism surely leaves you in no doubt that such an assignment was tantamount to suicide, but in return it offered both great honour to the participants and the almost certain prospect of promotion for the survivors.

    So you can imagine that a story written around a young man who is part of this greatest of battlefield dramas is going to immediately draw my attention.

    One reason I am reluctant to attempt Napoleonic Wars stories myself is that there is such widespread knowledge about the era that it is very easy to make mistakes which readers are going to notice. However as I began to read Inarus' work, I was pleased to see the number of things he has got right. Our protagonist, Lieutenant David Egerton, leader of the party, is of a class apart from his men. He has clearly not experienced battle before and has his head stuffed with notions of glory, heroism, and the honour of his family name.

    I was impressed at the transitions in David's mood; initial blind confidence giving way to nervousness at the imminent prospect of being put to the test. Then the awful experience of actually being fired upon and receiving his first wound. The brief internal fight between terror and the shame of being branded a coward, cut short by the need to close with the enemy on the battlements before they can reload and fire again.

    Inarus introduces a clever breaking of the our close identification with David by briefly shifting to the point of view of the first French soldier he encounters. We experience David's victory from the victim's perspective, thus nipping in the bud any incipient sense of triumphalism we may have been developing.

    Another thing that impressed me was the clear explanation of how David and the rest of the Forlorn Hope are driven on by circumstances rather than raw heroism. As I have said, the initial rush is triggered by the need to catch the enemy reloading. Then it becomes imperative to secure the walls before the enemy decimate the main force (whose approach is characterised by the cadence of unseen boots marching through the morning gloom). With this in mind it actually becomes easier to continue forward rather than to flee past your advancing comrades, exposing your back to the unseen foe.

    As the battle rages, David's mental horizon shrinks, the supreme effort required to prevail against each enemy he encounters pushing all else aside, even the excruciating pain of his wounds.

    Finally, Inarus makes a tiny mistake! He uses the word 'instinctively' twice in quick succession (the kind of error I make several times in each paragraph). But this easily-fixed typo is lost in the majesty of the sweeping denouement to the story. Taking a leaf from 'All Quiet on the Western Front' the battle is concluded and David's ambition is fulfilled in ironic fashion. We also learn some interesting facts about the Cathedral of Santa Maria, the characteristics of the French musket, and the location of the commander of the Light Division. Actually I think this last fact might be in error as I believe the Light Division attacked by escalade well away from the breach. But no matter, war is a confused business and allowances need to be made.

    So, in conclusion, I feel that this is a fine piece. The vocabulary is varied, the descriptions are (as far as I can tell) free from anachronism, the details of the action make sense, and the story-arc is well constructed with a solid ending. In fact I have no difficulty commending this story to the discerning readership of the Quill. Inarus is indeed an accomplished author.

    Review by Juvenal


    Librarian's Choice: Artistic representation
    A story by Radzeer
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    It was early morning. The bookstore was not yet open, but the lights were on and people were busy inside. A shipment of new books has arrived the night before and had to be neatly arranged on the shelves before the customers arrive. But there was something else inside that building. An invisible, lost spirit was drifting back and forth after a long journey. Then it found something.
    And thus opens Radzeer’s masterpiece, quite rightly selected as Librarian’s Choice. With a delicate balance between mystique and masterful storytelling, the story introduces a ronin, or rather the artistic representation of one. Reborn on the cover of a book, this once brave warrior observes the unfamiliar world around him in silence, narrating a tale of his strange surroundings. He was a valiant samurai once – and his confusion at his new surroundings serve well to reinforce that this was a man, if he could be called that, who had travelled a long journey through time and space. The comparison between this “life” and the last – battling upon the plains of Sekigahara – describe a past of bittersweet heroism, which act as both a contrasting backdrop and a raison d’être for our protagonist. A shadow of his former self, he is forced to make do with the limited sights and sounds that come to a book cover, his melancholy apparent.

    A ronin is a masterless samurai, and his lack of a true calling brings him great shame and dishonour. It is particularly poignant therefore that this artistic representation was able to gain a measure of redemption, albeit in a time far removed from his own. Through a coincidence of events our protagonist is brought back to his homeland, only for it to bear no similarity to the one he remembers. There however the face of a little girl captures his attention, one whose declaration that “he seems brave” warms the heart of our protagonist. The revelation that a great-great-great-great grandfather fought at Sekigahara and regained honour for his family, on the other hand, opens the proverbial eyes of not only our protagonist but also those of the reader. He couldn’t be sure the girl referred to him, and neither could we, but that merely served to enhance the intrigue, bringing the reader closer to our protagonist, almost wishing that he had indeed been the man of the hour that day.

    The ending meanwhile, fiery as the flames engulfing the train carriage, served to complete the fate of the artistic representation. Seemingly at peace with his fate upon hearing the little girl’s family legend, the artistic representation seemed to accept his fate with quiet satisfaction as the train was engulfed in flames. Just as he had in a previous life, he would face death unflinchingly and without fear. This time, however, he leaves this world with the satisfaction that his previous one had been a honourable one, having erased the shame of being a ronin.

    On the first read through, it is easy for the reader to miss the subtle cues embedded in the narrative, and as a result the storyline – in particular the identity of the protagonist – can seem somewhat cryptic. Only upon further examination does one come to truly appreciate the tantalising mystique the author has sought to build, and truly appreciate the genius behind this work of art. A complex array of emotions is evoked as one progresses through the text, from the indignant protest of the protagonist at being called “authentic” to his cautious optimism that his previous life had been a worthy one. The subtle hints of romance were skilfully done in the angelic voice of the woman, but also in the enticing suggestion that he had known the little girl from a previous time. Perhaps she recognised him too – a notion seemingly confirmed by her outstretched hand even as she left him? Perhaps she was his daughter, or was she his wife? We will never know, but again the deliberate vagueness only serves to deepen the sense of immersion. The reader is roped in like a fish on the end of a line, mesmerised by the fusion of emotions. I trust I was not the only one left desperately wanting more and wishing the fading spirit well for his next stop in space and time. With the flames completing his redemption perhaps his next life will bear more permanence? Perhaps he will meet the angelic female again, or the little girl?

    His life was short, but it was glorious. He was an artistic representation, but under Radzeer’s mighty quill he was so much more. As a story it is a must read, and I feel little remorse in pointing out that its failing to come first in a vote merely highlights the fallibility of such processes.

    Review by robinzx


    From the Editor's Desk


    I hope you have enjoyed the issue. The Critic's Quill staff have laboured long to create high quality work for your pleasure and education. So let me give a big hand to the team of Absalom, Absalom!, Boustrophedon, wowbanger, m_1512, StealthEvo and robinzx. In addition, we have three volunteers from the readership: Schrödinger, Shankbot12 and HeirofAlexander. With luck I might be able to persuade some of them to become regulars. Please consider giving rep to my writers if you were impressed by their efforts.

    A Tiger's Leap
    Finally, I would like to draw your attention to the AAR Anthology, a new project from SeniorBatavianHorse. Here it is described in his own words:
    An Anthology AAR in serialised format epublished at Smashwords.

    What I am envisaging here is a selection of multiple AARs (say five or six) of sufficient quality to be included in a serial anthology. So that a reader would download Book One and read the first chapters of - say - five or six AARs. Book Two would carry on the AARs in sequence - and so on with Books Three and Four, etc.

    These AARs would need to be either already finished and sufficiently advanced so that there is enough material to cover several Books. Also these would need to be an AAR strong enough to stand alone without supporting pics - I doubt we could include these for legal reasons.
    SBH has gathered a group of AAR authors to publish the first volume, but the project will be ongoing with AARs that finish dropping out and new ones coming in to take their place. If you have a suitable AAR and think you might like to join the project, then please go to this thread and make your interest known.

    So until next time, thanks for reading. Please feel free to post about this issue in the thread below.

    Juvenal



    If you find yourself at a loose end, then why not consider sampling some of the TWC publications or creative forums. It's easy, just click through the picture!


    Last edited by Juvenal; May 12, 2012 at 01:11 PM. Reason: polishing
    imb39 ...is my daddy!
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  3. #3

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Huzzah! It's finally out

    Great work everybody - especially the new guys!
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  4. #4
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Great issue guys. I'm honoured to have been apart of it, hopefully I'll be able to say that for the next issue as well.

    Schrödinger, thanks for the kind review mate, I'll add it to my sig.

    Here's to Issue 34. Although we might need more than one pint...
    THE WRITERS' STUDY | THE TRIBUNAL | THE CURIA | GUIDE FOR NEW MEMBERS



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  5. #5

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Awesome. Good job guys Happy to see both my first review and my writing competition submition reviewed here. Thanks Shankbot

    Great article on character developing robinzx :

    Also looking forward to the next issue .
    Last edited by Heiro de Bodemloze; May 12, 2012 at 02:10 PM.

    |Of, the esteemed House: DE BODEMLOZE|



  6. #6

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Finally here! I'd be happy to help with the next issue too if there is anything to do

    Great work everyone and thank you for the review Shankbot- although I have both a family tree (thank you!) and two character lists by now!

    Particularly enjoyed robinzx's bit on killing main characters...

    And urge EVERYONE to check out SBH's project which could be really major for the AAR genre as a whole!
    ~

    RESTORING ROME - CHAPTER II: TRAGEDY OF THE KOMNENOI
    bitte sehr
    SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT - A VERY SPECIAL FELINE


  7. #7
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Quote Originally Posted by Schrödinger
    Great work everyone and thank you for the review Shankbot- although I have both a family tree (thank you!) and two character lists by now!
    I know, I know, a bit out of date but...
    Quote Originally Posted by Schrödinger
    Particularly enjoyed robinzx's bit on killing main characters...
    You've already killed one of my fav characters tonight, don't get any ideas! Although I am mentally exploring some plots to do with this...

    I'll second what you've said about the Anthology - defiantly something to watch out for.
    THE WRITERS' STUDY | THE TRIBUNAL | THE CURIA | GUIDE FOR NEW MEMBERS



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  8. #8
    SeniorBatavianHorse's Avatar Tribunus Vacans
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Great issue and a good strong selection of reviews there - well done to everyone involved (and thanks for mentioning the anthology idea, too)! The character developing article is particularly worth reading among a batch of excellent work!

  9. #9

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Wow, that was a positive review of my 'Restoration...' AAR, was not expecting that! Still disappointed that it had to end (I blame the Trojans), Constantius was poised to take over the world and dispose of that sniveling Honorius.

    You know, I've never met a fellow Australian that's barbequed shrimp before....

    Mind you we do love to barbeque just about anything!
    'The Last Pagan Emperor'- An Invasio Barbarorum Somnium Apostatae Juliani AAR
    MAARC L 1st Place
    MAARC LXXI 1st Place

    'Immortal Persia' A Civilization III AAR

    Prepare to imbibe the medicine of rebuke!

  10. #10

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Thanks for the very flattering review, Robinzx. I do feel obligated, however, to point out that Liberty or Monarchy is on hold for the forseeable future due to a combination of RL time constraints and a (hopefully temporary) lack of interest in ETW.

  11. #11

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Excellent work as always! Congrats to the writers and the editor! Now I guess it is time to pick up my quill again.

    @ robinzx: Thank you very much for the generous review of my Scriptorium competition piece. I am glad to see that you have found those extra layers in the story. Very professional work! (I mean the review )

  12. #12
    Inarus's Avatar In Laziness We Trust
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Damn ye Juvenal! Spotting my little error! hehe I only noticed it when it was too late, when everyone was voting Thank you for the review!



    And excellent piece on Characters, robinzx.




  13. #13
    Boustrophedon's Avatar Grote Smurf
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Glad to see this published thanks to all the writers and all that! Now where did I leave that pen...

  14. #14
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Glad to see Q33 finally arrived

    Just joking guys! Well done, reviewers and contributors all

  15. #15

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Wow, great job, everyone!

    I'm very happy that my AAR is here btw.

  16. #16

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Quote Originally Posted by HeirofAlexander View Post
    Great article on character developing robinzx :
    Quote Originally Posted by Schrödinger View Post
    Particularly enjoyed robinzx's bit on killing main characters...
    Quote Originally Posted by Shankbot12 View Post
    I am mentally exploring some plots to do with this...
    Quote Originally Posted by SeniorBatavianHorse View Post
    The character developing article is particularly worth reading among a batch of excellent work!
    Quote Originally Posted by Inarus View Post
    And excellent piece on Characters, robinzx.
    .. thanks guys. Definitely wasn't expecting that. Much appreciated.

    Quote Originally Posted by Radzeer View Post
    @ robinzx: Thank you very much for the generous review of my Scriptorium competition piece. I am glad to see that you have found those extra layers in the story. Very professional work! (I mean the review )
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  17. #17

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    I'll add to your list robinzx.
    Great article. doesn't cover it enough.

    In general, great work everyone. Shankbot and Heiro's works were a nice surprise. Hopefully there will be more.
    Last edited by LegolasGreenleaf; May 17, 2012 at 01:02 AM.
    WIP. Watch this space. It'll be epic.

    No, seriously.

  18. #18
    StealthEvo's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    Quote Originally Posted by Justinian Australis View Post
    Wow, that was a positive review of my 'Restoration...' AAR, was not expecting that! Still disappointed that it had to end (I blame the Trojans), Constantius was poised to take over the world and dispose of that sniveling Honorius.

    You know, I've never met a fellow Australian that's barbequed shrimp before....

    Mind you we do love to barbeque just about anything!
    You do barbequed shrimp Stevo. Just trust me on that.

  19. #19
    Juvenal's Avatar love your noggin
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 33

    If you liked this issue, then you will be pleased to know that Issue 34 has now been published!

    If you didn't like this issue, then why not get over there anyway to see if we've improved?
    imb39 ...is my daddy!
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