Corrupt a Wish

[Ybbon]

Wish granted. Earth becomes a very dull and boring place, everyone looks the same, acts the same, thinks the same. Civilization stagnates and collapses. Everyone ends up as a normal plain caveman.

I wish to not grant the next wish to bring a touch of chaos to proceedings.

[Mega Tortas de Bodemloze]

I wish to not grant the next wish to bring a touch of chaos to proceedings.

Kay..... Wish Granted. I was gonna wish that the Duculax I just took would kick in quickly, but you derailed that so now I get to walk around with a tummy full of concrete blocks till your wish wears off. Nice going there Buffalo Guy....

{May you step in poo and feel all quishy too....

(On a side note, Long time no see, Hope everything going well on your end.... )

[Ybbon]

your un-wish is granted. Your blockage is well and truly impacted now.

I wish for a new Peter Jackson version of Bambi. Not sure where Andy Serkis will appear in that but he needs to be there!

[SlartyBartfast]

Wish granted. The movie is called Bambi: First Blood. Andy Serkis plays Bambi, a demon-possessed fawn who traipses through the forest stomping on and burning every goddamned rabbit he finds. Unwittingly you take your small children to see this masterpiece. They are traumatized for life and refuse to leave their bedrooms ever again. Deeply depressed at your parenting failure, you shoot yourself in the head in your own kitchen. Your children hear the shot and leave their bedrooms for the first time in years. They find your brain in the kitchen sink and your body on the floor. Thoroughly traumatized now and beyond repair, they take turns shooting themselves too.

I wish the sequel to District 9 will be even better than the original.

[alhoon]

Wish granted! The original is retroactively turned to such horrible trash that even an elementary school play would be better.

I wish all movies were in black & white and contained at least one funny scene.

[alhoon]

Wish granted! The original is retroactively turned to such horrible trash that even an elementary school play would be better.

I wish all movies were in black & white and contained at least one funny scene.

[SlartyBartfast]

Bingo, you are turned into a dog and your wish comes true: now every movie you ever see is in black and white. And the gods, being generous, also grant your other wish: every movie contains at least one funny scene. It is the same scene every time however, from the original National Lampoon's Vacation where the Griswald's tie their dog to the bumper of their car and forget about him and then drive off. And guess what: you get to play the dog in this funny scene, every single time, but it is filmed afresh in real footage -- not CGI -- every time, for every single movie ever made must have this funny scene. You are now the equivalent of Sisyphus rolling his boulder up the hill every day, or Prometheus having his liver eaten every day; you are the dog that must run until eventually he dies of exhaustion and road rash, every single day for the rest of eternity.
Enjoy your life, won't you.

I wish I was a better person.

[Bo1Bo1Sha3]

Wish granted, you improve incredibly but it still falls short of the bare minimum and everyone still doesn't like you.

I wish I could censor and erase whatever I see on the internet to my heart's content.

[King Athelstan]

Granted, but you're China.

I wish holidays were longer

[SlartyBartfast]

Wish granted: h----o----l-----i------d-------a-------y--------s............

I wish I could experience further dimensions.

[alhoon]

Wish granted: h----o----l-----i------d-------a-------y--------s............

I wish I could experience further dimensions.

Granted, you experience pain in such extremes that it can only be characterized as a new dimension.

I wish the person granting me my corrupted wish will get twice the suffering my wish will cause me.

[SlartyBartfast]

Granted, but having failed to specify what your corruptible wish actually was, your second wish means I receive exactly twice zero pain which is nothing.

I wish all Nazis would grow a brain and die.

[Bo1Bo1Sha3]

Granted, your extended family passes away shortly thereafter.

I wish for lotsa spaghetti.

[SlartyBartfast]

Granted: https://pwa.www.1800flowers.com/gifts-lotsa-love-perfect-pair-155759?page=detail&brand=1001&product=155759

But now your parents are so embarrassed of you they disown you. Destitute, you wander the world alone, whoring yourself just to eat. Inevitably you contract syphilis and go insane, imagining that you really are important in the scheme of things. You are not, and so God stomps on you and feeds you to the frogs.

I wish witless conservatives could see Trump for the demagogue he is and stop lapping up his demagoguery as justification for their own hatred and shortcomings.

[alhoon]

Granted! Witless conservatives see Trump for what he is, stop lapping up his demagoguery and just move to the next fear-mongering populist that aside of being mostly the same cup of tea, he hates you specifically and makes your life a living hell.

I wish Trump becomes a dictator (like the 1960s types) in a small African country and SlartyBartfast found himself a citizen of that brutal dictatorship, with all his loved ones fates tied to Trump's schemes.

[Ybbon]

Your wish is granted, Slartybartfast fate is unknown, but nobody ever accused a 1960's dictator of being generous or kind, so....

You on the other hand have been promoted to chief medal designer and engineer (yep, it's an engineering feat to fit all those medals). Turns out El Presidente is really very partiular about his medals design and number. You are going to be very very busy....

I wish I could have a place on the Rocinante, because they are just very cool (assuming they are all still alive at the end of season 3).

[alhoon]

Granted! You have a place on the Rocinante, the old horse of Don Quixote, as the knight was charging on the windmills. Unfortunately, with your added weight, the horse barrels forward and you are crushed by the blades of a windmill.

I wish I was El Presidente instead of Trump with my armor of shiny medals that I have so carefully designed!

[SlartyBartfast]

Wish granted. But it is not long before a legion of right-wing nutjobs storm the whitehouse and assassinate you because you refuse to build a wall to keep out Mexicans.

I wish I was dead.

[Ybbon]

Wish granted. Welcome to Season 20 of The Walking Dead! You have a starring role as third zombie on the left.

I wish for for a lego movie version of Lord of the Rings - with Batman of course, because, well he is Batman after all.

[alhoon]

Granted! You are given a Lord of the Rings movie accessory in a lego kit that contains batman. Of course, the "movie" being just a tiny piece of plastic that lego batman holds in his hand, is not much to watch.

I wish Batman was in love with the Penguin.