Corrupt a Wish

[Frunk]

Granted, but it is a dead unicorn.

I wish that television in Australia was less awful.

[NobleWoman]

Granted, But now, the radio becomes worse.

I wish it rained chocolates for months.

[napoleon boneaparte]

Granted but humanity will face a global water crisis instead.

I wish my replacement CPU processor would arrive faster so that I can play XCOM 2.

[NobleWoman]

Granted, but now your screen shows cracks and breaks into pieces. You have no money to replace it and so it is an endless wait for playing XCOM 2.

I wish I can avert global crises.

[Mega Tortas de Bodemloze]

I wish I can avert global crises.

Granted: A Blue Jin hears your plea and responds by quelling all global crises, and envelops the earth in serene harmony. A Red Jin enraged by this zelatus act invokes armageddon and incinerates the earth.
Ergo.... "Extra Crispy"....


I wish I had a large Mocha Coffee Bryers milk shake. Trully heaven sent and "Yummers" it would be......

[SlartyBartfast]

I wish I had a large Mocha Coffee Bryers milk shake. Trully heaven sent and "Yummers" it would be......

You are handed your Mocha Coffee Bryers milk shake -- by Baldrick. He has made it with his famous special ingredients: mud for coffee, dandruff for sugar, and you don't want to know what he uses for cream.

I wish benevolent aliens would come and rescue us.

[NobleWoman]

Granted. The aliens are so benevolent that they decide to remove the root cause of all problems--humans. Humans are exterminated and the aliens congratulate themselves on their benevolence.

I wish that I could tame a jinn and make him fulfil my wishes.

[Bo1Bo1Sha3]

Granted. Your wishes are all fulfilled, your life is perfect, what is there left to live for? Nothing is new or enjoyable, you sit on a chair staring with a mug of coffee into the sunset and sigh at how nothing feels new...

I wish farting in public was illegal except for me.

[Mega Tortas de Bodemloze]

I wish farting in public was illegal except for me.

Granted: Such legislation was unanimously passed. Now... While you slumbered, thugs came to your bedside, administered knockout drugs and then proceeded to tatoo the words "Guess who cut the Cheese?"
across your forehead in bold, hot pink letters.


I wish that my bedroom fan did not make that scratchy sound when I turn it on....

[Ngugi]

Granted: the bedroom fan is so silent, so silent. You fall into sleep so easily.
While it moves closer... And closer, and closer, to your bed. Closer... So silent. You do not hear any noise. Closer... Cool air, no reason to awake. Closer... And it slice your throat with its whirling fan blades. The only sound heard are your final gasps for air.
Silence.





I wish the sun was not coming in through my bedroom window now when I am to go to bed ^^

[Bo1Bo1Sha3]

Granted, it comes through the bottom of your bed, out of your tv, from the ceiling, through your socks, out your mouth, your ears, elsewhere. The bedroom window has no light coming through it now.

I wish I was a fish.

[Emperor PooMan]

Granted, it comes through the bottom of your bed, out of your tv, from the ceiling, through your socks, out your mouth, your ears, elsewhere. The bedroom window has no light coming through it now.

I wish I was a fish.

Granted, however you must first find the fish. Oh where could that fishy be?

I wish I didn't get nosebleeds so often

[groundpounder11B]

Granted, the blood now comes out your eyes.

I wish floors swept themselves.

[Frunk]

Granted but, in Soviet Russia, floor sweeps you!

I wish this cold I have would go away.

[groundpounder11B]

Granted, but it takes your life with it.

I wish my computer wasn't broken.

[SlartyBartfast]

Wish granted, your computer isn't broken. BUT... it ends up taking control of your life, until you are nothing more than an automaton hitting your keyboard in the delusion that you are having fun. Because your computer isn't broken, you no longer have free will and your life is meaningless. The whole point of your existence now is to create wealth for the super rich, while you squander your rare and precious free time in the evenings and weekends (spare time that the super rich grant you because it makes you a more productive slave) pressing buttons like a chimp or a trained pigeon while the drool swings from your stupefied half-grin. You're welcome!

I wish Total War had a Mount and Blade option and first-person camera, where you as the general can bust fighting moves in battle.

[♔atthias♔]

Wish granted, your computer isn't broken. BUT... it ends up taking control of your life, until you are nothing more than an automaton hitting your keyboard in the delusion that you are having fun. Because your computer isn't broken, you no longer have free will and your life is meaningless. The whole point of your existence now is to create wealth for the super rich, while you squander your rare and precious free time in the evenings and weekends (spare time that the super rich grant you because it makes you a more productive slave) pressing buttons like a chimp or a trained pigeon while the drool swings from your stupefied half-grin. You're welcome!

I wish Total War had a Mount and Blade option and first-person camera, where you as the general can bust fighting moves in battle.

granted but you became addicted to the game and you are banned from total war FOR EVER!!!!

I wish i could have non stop sex whit fully naked women

[Ybbon]

Granted, you die inside 3 days due to lack of water and sheer exhaustion, contrary to popular belief you do not die with a smile on your face but pleading with horny naked women to stop.

I wish I could put Jeremy Corbyn in a boxing ring with Donald Trump, and see who wins.

[Spear Dog]

Granted, Trump pounds Corbyn into a bloody pulp and as a result wins the Presidency in an unprecedented landslide victory which he converts into a mandate to use his Executive Powers to extended the Presidential period to 8 years and 3 terms, which his puppet Congress endorses. Thanks a lot Ybbon!

I wish Rodrigo Duterte, President of the Philippines, through a series of freak misunderstandings and errors becomes elected Pope - upon which he is immediately ordained and consecrated a Bishop, as such the result is legally valid and holds. He takes the name Pope Urban IX - "God wills it!"

[Ybbon]

No problem, I don't care if Trump wins, but Corbyn being a bloody pulp is fantastic news!

Granted. In an astounding turn of events, Pope Urban IX reconstitutes the Inquisition and starts on Donald Trump - he's toast! Their second target is Australia.

I wish I could live on an ocean going yacht and sail between glamorous locations and roll with the high rollers and A-list stars during summer, and live it up in Aspen and Gstaad in winter. GQ magazine will do a monthly feature on my lifestyle and fashion choices.