Corrupt a Wish

[Dude with the Food]

Granted but you say "Yeah right, look at that flying pig," to someone sarcastically, then it appears and you don't notice the speeding bus coming from behind.

I wish I could tell curtains telepathically to draw themselves.

[NobleWoman]

Granted, and now they cant open because you never learnt how to do that

I wish I could eat but never get fat

[Dude with the Food]

Granted, you starve on your diet of 3 lentils a day.

I wish I could get a chippy tea.

[Cyrus Da Great]

Granted, But you suddenly became sick and couldn't eat it any more.

I wish I had a council of like twelve grandmas to consult with daily.

[NobleWoman]

Granted, and now due to your council's daily advice you spend your time knitting and attending tea parties.
I wish I could get free air travel for the rest of my life

[Dude with the Food]

Granted, in the meantime somebody frames you for murder and you spend the rest of your life in a maximum security prison.

I wish people would understand what I say quicker.

[NobleWoman]

Granted and since they understand you quicker they never wait for you to complete your sentences

I wish I owned a pony

[Dude with the Food]

Granted... until it finds out it can moonwalk, becomes famous and leaves you for its new lifestyle.

I wish I had a never-ending supply of pancakes. (Naturally with sugar and lemon juice.)

[Hazzard]

The sugar is burnt, the lemons are limes and the milk is from goats.

I wish for no more violence.

[NobleWoman]

Granted and now there are only abuses
I wish for the weather to return to normal

[Hazzard]

The is normal, it never rains, shines, snows and the wind never blows.Crops die and everyone starves.I wish for you to never speak again.

[Satrio Eko]

Granted,and because i can't speak i can't tell the entire world about a meteor that will strike the earth

i wish i had wifi on my house to replace the 30kbps modem

[TuranianGhazi]

Granted, your 30kbps modem keeps away Pulse spirits from overtaking your soul (they're too slow lol), while all wifi owners perish to the ethereal apocalypse instantaneously

I wish I had a civilian-use tank vehicle instead of my crappy car

[Pīrūz Nahavandi]

Granted, but it blows up.

I wish that I could go to sleep rather than stay on the internet.

[Rijul.J.Ballal]

Granted.you never wake.
I wish i did not have to be away from the internet for such a long time.

[NobleWoman]

Granted and now you are so all over the internet that nobody wants your status update anymore

I wish I had a dozen wishes without expiry dates

[Dude with the Food]

Granted but you waste them all on cherry cola.

I wish fat people would just leave me alone.

[Rijul.J.Ballal]

Granted now fat apes don't leave you alone.
I wish i was rich.

[NobleWoman]

Granted but you los all your money to the Tax Deptt

I wish I was able to get first rank in my exams every time no matter how little I study

[Satrio Eko]

Granted,but the teacher realizes that you get first rank from cheating and kick you from the school I wish i had 1 Million Dollar