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Thread: A Thief's Tale - TES fanfic Chapter 9 Celebration [updated 11.12.2012]

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    Default A Thief's Tale - TES fanfic Chapter 9 Celebration [updated 11.12.2012]

    A little story about a thief in the land of The Elder Scrolls

    Prolouge
    Prologue

    This is my tale, the tale about Silius (that's me!), the imperial thief from the Imperial City. I was a well respected member of the Thieves Guild in Cyrodiil. I fled the City just before the Aldmeri Dominion sacked it during the Great War, and traveled to Bruma. In Bruma I heard of the Blades, a secret society hiding nearby, and I decided to find them. But the Aldmeri where faster than me and when I found their dwellings it had all been destroyed. Some way from the destroyed temple (I later knew it was called Cloud Ruler Temple), I met a man, fleeing from the temple. We decided to go north together, to Skyrim. Outside the village of Riverwood we went different ways. I never got to know the other man's name, but I remembered him, and the gift he gave me; a short blade, black as the night, and sharp as a razor. The other man said the dagger was called Mehrunes Razor. I went to the local tavern in Riverwood, and got drunk. The people at the inn took well care of me, as I had news of what happened in the rest of the Empire. But someone recognized me as a higher in the Guild, and I got thrown into the street, told that if I ever showed my face in a city again, they would chop my head off.


    Chapter 1. Riften
    A shadow climbed the city wall of Riften. To reach the city I had to cross a mountain pass, and the little village of Ivorstead. It was a long journey. I had been on the road for several days, and I didn't want any problems with watchmen right now. I could deal with them later. Right now I only wanted a drink, and some warm food. I had heard that the local tavern served some interesting drinks, and couldn't wait to try one of those. Sneaking by the shadows I happened to find the market. A couple of stands with different goods. Suddenly I felt something. Just a little feeling, something that wasn't right. It was like someone watched me, even tho I was hiding. Can someone know I'm here?
    Now I noticed what was wrong. There was a large man near one of the stands at the market, watching me. How could he notice me?! After a couple of seconds he turned around, and started speaking to a guard. They both looked at me. “Damn! I should have moved when I had the chance!”
    Now I recognized the large man. He was one of the guests at the inn in Riverwood, and he had definitely recognized me as well. Now I was in real trouble...
    The guard called for another guard, and another one. They where all watching me. I had to find a way to get out of there, something that might help me. I decided to get out of the city as fast as I could, and started running.

    The city had two levels, the ground plane and the docks. I thought I had the best chances to get away at the docks, but to get there I had to reveal myself to the whole market. There wasn't very much else I could do, so I ran, and I ran. I could hear the guards shouting behind me, but I couldn't look back now. The stairs where too far away, so I just jumped down into the water. Now every guard at the market had noticed me tho, so I had to be very fast now. Some of them where already halfway down the stairs. I managed to pull myself up a wharf, and looked around. There where no ways out, except a large gate for boats. The gate was closing, but maybe I could manage to get there... arrows started flying nearby me.
    - Stop right there, criminal scum! Some of the guards shouted. Ha! Like I'd stop now. The gate was almost closed. A little faster... But some of the guards where faster than me, and where now standing before me with drawn swords. No! Suddenly I noticed a door made of iron. I ran towards it, and to my luck it wasn't locked. I threw myself inside and hid in the shadows. I could hear the guards talking outside.
    - Shall we follow him inside captain?
    - No Ulfric. He went into the Ratways. He will be dead before the end of the day. But you and Hadvar can stay here and guard the door if you want.
    - Aye captain!


    Chapter 2. The Ratways
    I sneaked into the sewers, cause that was what it was, trying to find another way out. The guards had said it was a deathtrap to go in here. Was they right? What was so dangerous? I had been in several sewers before, in Cyrodiil. Once I helped a client escape the jail in the Imperial City through a secret passage in the sewers. Suddenly I heard low voices. Maybe it's the Guild? No, they sounded more like barbarians. Of course all these nords sounded like barbarians. I decided to wait, and see who it was. My instincts were right. These were not thieves, but outsiders, driven away from society, just like me. These were dangerous people, and if not handled right, I could die. I looked around to find another way, but this was the only one. I had killed people before, but only one or two at the same time. Here were five bandits, all armed with axes or swords. Maybe I could kill one of them while the others didn't look? My prayers were answered when two of them walked away. Now there were only three left. When I thought the others weren't looking, I jumped at the closest one, and cut his throat. One of the bandits noticed me tho, and drew his sword. I threw myself at him and stabbed him in the chest, but the dagger got stuck in a rib, and the third one was on his way towards me. I decided to run towards the iron door again, but stopped when he started talking.
    - No need to run, fellow thief!
    “Fellow thief?” I thought. “What can he mean?” Before I had time to say anything, he opened his mouth again.
    - I recognize the Cyrodiilic Thieves Guild armour when I see it. Welcome to the Ratways. My name is Frodnar, and I'm a member of the Guild as well.

    Finally. I had found them.

    Frodnar told me that he could show me the way to the Guild's hideout; a bar called the Ragged Flagon. It wasn't a large place, but there were more thieves and fences than I had ever seen. In Cyrodiil the whole guild could never meet at one place, because of all the spies, but here it seemed the guild could do what it wanted. Frodnar led me to a large bald man, sitting alone in a corner writing something. Suddenly he looked up, right into my eyes, like he knew I was coming.
    - What have you got there Frodnar? He said. It looks like an imperial to me. Yes, that's definitely imperial armour, that is.
    Before Frodnar had a chance to answer, I spoke
    - Yes, I'm from the Cyrodiilic guild. Who might you be?
    - I'm Delvin Mallory, and when you're down here you show some respect! You do well to remember that. What's your name?
    - I'm Silius. I fled the Imperial City when I heard that the Aldmeri were moving towards it.
    - Silius, eh? I've heard about you. There's a large bounty on your head.
    First it looked like Frodnar was going to say something, but then he just shrugged, and sat down with some other thieves.

    - I was thinking of joining this guild Delvin. Is it you I should talk to about that?
    - First we need to see what you go for. The jarl in the city of Whiterun has made some... enemies. Go fetch her ring for me and then we'll talk. The ring is made of gold, with a star made of diamonds on it.

    "So... this is how it starts?" I thought. "Let's just see how it ends."


    Chapter 3. Whiterun
    Whiterun was originally just a village built around the Companions meadhall Jorrvaskr. The Companions were a group of warriors who sold their services to those who could afford it. Risking their lives for money. Just like I did. The only difference was that I remained silent in the shadows, while they died. Soon Whiterun had became a paradise for trading, due to it's central location in Skyrim. The jarl lived at the top of a hill in the city. The castle where she lived, was called Dragonsreach.
    I was told the ring probably was in her living quarters, but that you could never be sure. To get in I could either try my luck at the front gates, or brake in through the prisons. I decided it was better to remain hidden, so I headed for the dungeons. At night I climbed the outer wall of the castle and soon found the gates. They where heavily guarded tho, so I decided to keep to the plan and find the jail. It was a small door, a pretty close to the main entrance. It wasn't guarded, but some watchmen were patrolling the whole area. I sneaked over to the door and tried the handle. Locked. “I think I have some picks here somewhere...” I thought, but didn't have more time than that. One of the guards was heading this way again, so I had to hide again. After a couple of minutes the guard went on and I could open the lock.

    Inside was dark and hard to breath. There was a sleeping guard at the end of a table, but other than that no one was there. I walked up some stairs and found another door that went right into the castle. The whole place seemed empty, so I sneaked on towards some new stairs. At the second floor was a guard tho and he didn't seem sleepy at all. I decided it was best to take him out in some way, so I poisoned a bit of bread when he looked away. He died before he even noticed something was wrong. Now I had multiple choices. Which way the right one? There was a new stair, this one going down and two doors. I decided to try the stairs.

    I came into a bedroom alright, but it wasn't the jarl's bedroom. It rather seemed like some kind of servant's room. Pretty small and without too many decorations. While I sneaked back upstairs someone had noticed the poisoned guard tho. He wasn't there anymore, but other guards were searching through the whole place and three of them were stationed outside one of the doors. “So that's the jarl's quarters.” I thought. But how should I get in there? Suddenly I got an idea. One of the searching guards was heading this way. “Maybe...” I managed to kill the guard without any problems and no one noticed a thing. After that I took his armour off and to all luck he had a helmet which wasn't showing his face. I took the armour on and walked towards the door.
    -We got him. The captain wants to speak with the three of you tho. I said, recognizing the guard who had fallen asleep.
    The guards walked away and I had my chance. The door wasn't locked and it was easy to get in. Inside was a large bed and lots of jewels. “How am I going to find the ring in time?” But then I saw it. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! Made by gold and diamonds, just like Delvin had told me, it was lying inside a container made of glass. I crushed the container fast, took the ring and ran away, dumping the soldier's armour behind the castle. After a couple of minutes I had sat on a horse and was on my way back to Riften...


    Chapter 4. Knock on the Road

    It was two days since my adventure in Whiterun. On the road I had found a khajiit caravan traveling from Markarth to Riften, so I joined them. The Guild and the caravans often traded with each other. The caravans transported illegal goods through Skyrim, while the Guild looked after their backs. When we met on the road, their leader Ri'Jirr welcomed me to join them, I said yes. After a couple of hours we walked into trouble. It was an ambush. Very well planned and very dangerous. We walked into a small forest and suddenly arrows started flying. One of the khajiit got one in the chest and died almost instantly, while others, like Ri'Jirr got hurt by them. I threw myself into a ditch my the road and drew my blade before anyone noticed I was gone. The bandits who ambushed us now jumped out of the woods and attacked the remainings of the caravan with axes and swords. I ran as fast as I could with the dagger in my hand. I could hear the screams behind me, but tried not to think of them. Suddenly a lonely bandit came before me. “Where did he come from?” Before I could react he hit me in the head with the back of his axe. Everything went dark, but before I got unconscious I heard screams and someone running...


    When I woke up my head was on fire. My eyes where blurry for some time, but after a while I could see again. I was at a camp with both my hands and feet tied. The knots weren't very strong, but in this shape I couldn't manage to take them off. Around me was the smell wet cat. At first I though that some of the khajiits had been captured, but soon realized I was wrong. Around me lay dead naked khajiit bodies, almost the whole caravan! I was clad in some old rags. A couple of meters away was a campfire with some bandits sitting around it. One of them suddenly walked towards me. I could smell when filth and rotten meat. Apparently he was going to pee on me and the khajiit, but when I looked him in the eyes he changed his mind.
    - He's awake lads! the bandit shouted. The rest of them stood up and walked towards us. One of them, the biggest, leaned over me. His breath almost made me faint, that's how disgusting it was.
    - So, you're one of them thieves aren't you? he whispered in my ear We might be able to help eachother, don't you think?
    - S-sure. What do you want? I managed to answer. When the bandit chief heard this a huge grin appeared in his face.
    - I want a place in the Guild he whispered back. I want to be a member of it and I want to do whatever I want to, without any guards to worry about
    - I cannot promise anything... I started to say, but he hit me in the face before I could finish.[/I]
    - Let's get out'ta here lads! The place'll be filled with soldiers before nightfall cause you let that bloody cat run off!


    Chapter 5. Escape
    After some hours I realized the bandit clan was split. Some of them supported the leader, some of them supported a woman called Eyja. Every time a decision was made Eyja and the leader, named Rolff had a big fight, whatever the matter was. Apparently Rolff was the only reason I was still alive. Most of the others, including Eyja, wanted to see me dead, but luckily enough the leader still had some authority over Eyja and her supporters. Otherwise I probably would have died right there. Anyway we didn't follow the same road as the kahjiit, probably because of soldiers guarding it. Instead we took a old forestpath leading towards the mountains southwards; the men called the highest peak High Hrothgar. Some of the nords in the group started whispering to themselves when we got closer. Praying? The more sensitive of them just fell silent with red eyes. Both Rolff and Eyja where unchanged tho.
    - What's so special about that mountain?, I asked.
    - Didn't I tell you to shut up you lazy maggot?, Rolff screamed in my ears.
    I needed to be more careful.

    At night when most of the men where asleep Rolff came to me tho. I was lying near one of the tents and someone who didn't know I was there, wouldn't have seen me. I could actually smell him long before he came. A musty smell of blood and pee. Then he sneaked closer and started whispering.
    - Halloy there lad., he said even tho I was older than him. You're gonna go free tonight, but you need to help me flee too. That damn woman almost has the power to turn my men against me now and I need to be a long way away from here when that happens. I'll cut your bounds now and we'll be off
    He took a big knife from his belt and for a moment I thought he was going to stab me with it. He only cut the ropes as he had promised tho and soon I was free.
    - Don't try to sneak away, cause I'm right behind ya' he threatened me. “Oh, I know very well” I thought, but didn't have the courage to say it out loud.
    - Let's go then. I said instead.


    We ran eastwards south of the mountain called High Hrothgar. There was a small valley between the mountain range north of us and the one south of us. It was filled with trees and animals, but I feared there would be wolves or even worse, bears. After a couple of hours we started walking instead. Both of us where tired and hungry. That idiot didn't even bring water or food for two! Anyway he said we headed for a village called Ivorstead. It was there all pilgrimages to High Hrothgar started. Before we could enter the village we both needed to bath and change clothes tho, so I had to steal something from a small house on the way. It seemed some kind of hunter lived there, but no one was there, so I just grabbed something and ran away. After getting most of the pee and filth away, Rolff actually looked quite normal. We continued eastwards until we came to the village. There where guards. Lots of them also, but they didn't seem to know either of us. It seemed the kahjiit who fled had gone the other way. We stayed at the inn for one night and the next day we continued eastwards to Riften.


    Chapter 6. Arrows
    A day after we left Ivorstead we ran into two hunters and their pray. Before we could get off the road, one of them recognized Rolff from a wanted sign, and tried to put an arrow throw him. The other hunter brought forth an axe hanging on the side of his horse, but I was faster. I threw myself in his direction and pulled him down from the steed. While he was trying to get up I took a dagger from his belt and stabbed him in the back with it. I took a fast look around where the second hunter was firing arrows at Rolff. The bandit had gotten one in the leg and one in the stomach region. He was lying on all four, awaiting the finish. I do not know what made me do it, but I threw the dagger at the hunter, who died almost instantly when it hit his throat. I ran towards Rolff, but when I got there he had passed out cos of blood-loss. I tried to clean the wounds best as I could, and then put him on one of the horses. I sat up on the other one and we headed for Riften again.

    A couple of hours later Rolff woke up again, but he could hardly move, nor speak. He made muffled noises and started coughing weakly. I tried to make him stop, but he was stubborn, even in this state. In the end he lost consciousness again. We continued until nightfall and made camp on the northwest side of Lake Honrich. Rolff fell had some troubled sleep, but was awake most of the night. Around three in the morning I decided we better get to Riften as soon as possible. I put Rolff on the horse and we started riding eastwards.

    We arrived at a farm called Merryfair Farm. I sat down to knock on the door to buy some food, or if no-one was home, steal. Just as I lifted my hand though, arrows started flying. Rolff sat up suddenly and held an axe in his hand. The horse he was sitting on fell down, filled with arrows. From the woods around us soldiers ran towards us. We had been ambushed by imperial soldiers. I drew my dagger and got to my horse. Rolff stood up again, but his head was bloody and an arrow could be seen sticking out from his left arm. In the right hand he held the axe, and hit feverishly against the nearest imperial. It hit him in the head, but the helmet defended him from damage more serious than a concussion. Before riding away I looked back and saw what happened. Rolff was surrounded by imperials, but he had killed, or knocked some soldiers unconscious. A man cut his right arm off from behind, and another put a sword between his ribs. Before fleeing I realized the imperials didn’t look like soldiers. All the men had large beards and everyone, including the women were very dirty. As I started riding again I realized I knew them. They were all people from Rolff’s bandit group. In front of them was Eyja holding a bow. I tried to get the horse to ride faster while she notched…aimed….and fired. The horse died without a sound. I jumped off it as it fell and held my dagger tight in my right hand. I started running while more arrows hit the ground around me.

    Suddenly it all stopped. I could hear some more screams from behind. I stopped running and threw myself to the side into a ditch. What was happening at the farm could only be described as a slaughter. The bandits had been ambushed by real imperials, mounted. The bandits, who were on foot and had bad equipment, were not only surprised, but also had no discipline. Eyja put an arrow through a horse, which fell on its rider, but other than that the bandits were losing.
    - Victory! We have victory!, the imperial commander shouted. Get the survivors in chains! Brandon and Celin, go get whoever they were chasing!

    I was on the run again.


    Chapter 7. Imperials in the Rift
    As the imperial scout came closer I hid in some bushes behind a fallen tree. I had managed to lose the first two, but some hours later they had continued the pursuit with five more men. They had driven me more northwards than my route would originally take me, but I was still close to Riften. By nightfall I hoped to sneak through the imperials and let them continue riding north. But it was only midday yet with many hours of sunshine left of the day. I could hear a horse coming closed, so I drew my dagger. As the rider came close I saw he’d lost his helmet. I picked a stone up and threw it at his head. As he fell from the horse I sneaked up to it and sat up. Rather than waiting for nightfall I’d ride now.

    Two days later I finally arrived at Riften. It was rainy, quite late and already dark. The city was infested with imperials, probably from the same company that had ambushed us. The horse was marked as imperial, so I had to leave it before coming close to the gates. When I approached the guards I noticed the usual city-guard wasn’t on duty, but rather imperials again.

    "Who goes there? Show yourself!", one of the imperials shouted. I left the hood on over my head.

    "I want to pass through! Give me passage! I’m just here to seek shelter from the rain!", I answered.

    The guards talked for a while, but then they opened the gates. I made my way to the inn rather than go into the Ratways. It was safer that way. The Bee and the Bard was always open, all the way through the night. It was a place for news as well as mead and sleep. I walked up to the innkeeper, to ask about the imperials.

    "Hi there friend! One mead please. What news of the Rift?" I said. "I noticed quite many imperials here. How come they’re so many around?"

    The innkeeper nervously took a glass from a shelf and started pouring mead into it, but his hands were shaking and he dropped the glass.

    "I couldn’t say sah, I really couldn’t say. I’m sorry sah, please have a mead bottle and leave, here ya go sah." The innkeeper took a bottle from another shelf and handed it to me. I didn’t make a move to take it, but I brought my moneypurse up and took out some coins.

    "Please sir, isn’t there…anything you could say about the imperials?"
    The innkeeper’s hand made a slow move in the direction of the coins, but he made up his mind and decided not to.

    "Sorry sah, I really can’t. Please leave now or I’ll have to call the Watch sah!"

    I took the coins and left the inn with a murderous look at the innkeeper. Outside were even more imperial soldiers. At least ten-fifteen were in the market area, and even more were patrolling the streets in pairs. As I walked down the stairs to the lower level of the city I saw a group of soldiers outside the door to the Ratways. In front of them stood a captain of some kind and gave orders to the soldiers. They then went inside in groups. I walked up to the commander.

    "Good day sir. What’s going on here?" I asked, but I suspected the worst.

    "The jarl of Riften have asked us to help him with this vermin that is the Thief’s Guild. Please step back and if you see anyone who is suspected to be in contact with the Guild, report to me or one of the other officers. These thieves are very dangerous and we don’t want any citizens to interact with those animals, but if you find yourself in a situation where you are able to capture or kill one of them, do not hesitate to do so!" the captain said. Afterwards he stepped in through the door and closed it after him. As I ran away I could hear one of the soldiers lock the door.


    Chapter 8. Return
    I walked up the stairs to the upper level of the city, but didn’t have a real goal. I found myself outside the Temple of Mara, the goddess of love, after a while. As I walked up the stairs to the gates of the Temple, I saw a familiar face. Frodnar was outside it, dressed in rags. He looked more like any beggar than the man I’d known weeks ago. He looked up at me and gave me a smile.

    -Silius! You made it back, didn’t ya! I knew yo’s was made of proper thief stuff, didn’t I!, he said.

    -Don’t you know the imperials are hunting the Guild down Frodnar? We have to get to the others somehow! And warn them!

    -Oh, don’t you worry Silius, we’ve known about them for a long time. Just after you left for Whiterun we got a message from our people in Solitude. The imperial commander Aeitus Comonradus had some bad experience with the Cyrodiilic Guild, and swore and oath to get rid of the rest of us “scum” as he calls us. I think you know of him though, don’t you Silius?

    He was right. Commander Comonradus had been one of the first ones to lay down weapons to the Aldmeri Dominion, and the thieves of the Imperial City had humiliated him by stealing his family sword, and planting it in the latrines, to be pissed on by the soldiers still fighting. Comonradus had ever since hated everything that had to do with the Thieves’ Guild.

    -I need to talk to Delvin and the others fast Frodnar. Is the Guild still in the city?, I asked.

    -Yes of course! Why would we leave the Flagon?, Frodnar answered. Most of the fences and merchants have left, but we’ve planned a resistance in the Ratways. I’m up here to check how many imperials are here and how many returns from the first attack on the Flagon.

    -But how are we going to get into the Flagon if they are in the Ratways? Of course we could sneak by them, but it’s quite a risky business…There’s a secret door, isn’t there?

    Frodnar just grinned and walked down the stairs of the Temple.

    We were at the graveyard behind the Temple of Mara. Frodnar walked up to a tomb and pushed in a symbol on the grave. After a couple of seconds the top part of the tomb started moving into the wall. Beneath it was a couple of stairs and a ladder going down. We walked down the stairs and Frodnar pulled a chain that hung from the roof. As the tomb closed again Frodnar started climbing down the ladder.

    Only Mercer Frey was in the Ragged Flagon when we came there. He was sitting on a table, drinking mead with a crossbow by his side. He was facing the wrong way so he didn’t notice us before Frodnar walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.
    -Hello Mercer! Silius has arrived in our beautiful city again, did you know that? I showed ‘im our secret entrance down here so he could make us of it in the future too, s’posing we get rid of all the imperials!

    Mercer looked around and nodded at me.

    -Silius, eh? I heard Mallory sent you off to Whiterun on some theft. Successful I hope? We ain’t the ones to give jobs to failing thieves.

    Just as I was about to answer a scream came from the other side of the large sanctum and a man ran in. He was clad in what once had been an imperial armor made of leather, but now wasn’t much more than bloody rags. In his hand was a dagger, which also was dripping with blood. When he saw us he almost tripped on his own feet, but then opened his mouth. Mercer Frey lifted the crossbow faster than anyone had time to think and the imperial fell into the low pool in the middle of the sanctum with a surprised look on his face and a grunt.

    -The bastard was going to throw that knife at you lad. Learn to act fast and first., Mercer said to Frodnar. He also threw an angry look at me, but then he turned away and loaded the crossbow again. He walked over to the dead soldier and pulled him from the pool. He’s not hit, so it seems all this blood is someone else’s. He might be the first of a larger force coming this way. We better start moving if we want to survive the day!

    As he stepped away from the body a dunmer woman entered the sanctum She was carrying a longbow and a quiver at her waist and her hair was set as a knot on the back of her head. Her hands and arms were bloody, but she soon washed it off in the already reddish pool.

    -There’s no need for that Mercer old boy! We got them good and hard at the drawbridge just like you said!, she said. You must be the new one, Silius? Too late to take part of the action I’m afraid! My name is Tara and I’m also one of the newer members! I was a part of the Thieves Guild in Morrowind before I came here with the rest of my people, so we share similar histories!

    It looked as if she was going to continue, but she got disrupted by the others who came to the sanctum, with them Delvin Mallory and the one Frodnar told me was Gallus Desidenius. They looked happy and bewildered, which in Mallory’s case, was quite dangerous. Delvin recognized me and pointed, with almost childish enthusiasm, at me for Gallus. The two of them talked as they slowly made their way to me. Moments before Delvin started talking, a prisoner was brought in. He was wearing heavy plate and I recognized him as one of the men I’d seen walk into the Ratways earlier.

    Everywhere were celebrating thieves.


    Chapter 9 Celebration
    I was sitting in the Ragged Flagon, waiting for the highers of the Guild to make a decision about me. I’d returned with the ring, but the imperials had come with me as well. Delvin Mallory seemed to like me, while Mercer Frey seemed very against a newcomer. I couldn’t see what Gallus thought, but in the end he was the only one that mattered. A woman was there as well, but I had never met her face-to-face. Frodnar had told me her name was Karliah, before he drank himself to sleep. Apparently she was good with a bow and had killed more than ten imperials by herself. I was woken from my thoughts by Tara, who now had changed the bloodstained leather armor for the usual shirt and trousers.

    -”Hello Silius! Why look so thoughtful? We won the battle and none of the imperials lives to tell the tale! We have defended our little place with our lives and Nocturnal has helped us.”. she said. She smiled as she said the words.

    -"Oh, I’m very happy we won. It’s just that we don’t know if I’ll get to join this Guild yet. Gallus and the others are discussing it right now!", I answered.

    -"Oh, you’re much too experienced to be kicked out now. You’ve clearly showed what you go for and Delvin clearly likes you."

    The door behind me opened and Gallus Desidenius came out, followed by Karliah, Delvin and Mercer. Delvin looked very satisfied, while Mercer was even angrier than usual, which I took as a good sign.

    -"Ah, Silius! We’ve decided to let you into our Guild! I’m sure you’ll do very well with us!", Gallus said. Delvin nodded approving, Mercer walked away and Karliah just stared into my eyes. "We have gotten a special mission by a noble in Solitude called Eirik Redhand. He wants us to burn down an estate in Hjaalmarch and steal everything of worth in it. The place, Windstad Manor, lies to the northwest of Morthal. It’s a three-man job, because you’ll need to be able to take out the guards, steal the gold and silver and set a fire at the same time. Redhand wants it all to happen in the exact hour the owner comes back from Solitude. If everything goes well he will give us his old property in Markarth, which we need to expand our business there.", Gallus continued. "I’m making you the leader of the group. Is there anyone in particular you’d like to have with you? Made any friends yet?"

    I thought for a while and then came to a conclusion.

    -"I’d like to bring Frodnar and Tara, if they are willing. When do we leave?"

    We arrived in Morthal at nightfall after five days. We had taken a cart from Riften to Windhelm and one from there to Whiterun, from where we rode to not awake suspicion from the locals. After all we appeared as common peasants who wouldn’t have the money to ride a cart. We went to Moorside, the local inn. We rented two rooms and sat down to eat. We had much to do that night, but first we had to meet with a contact-person named Haldin. Eirik Redhand strongly opposed the Empire and thought that the Great War was the perfect time to break free. The owner of Windstad Manor was an imperial called Tasius Aurrus, was rich Empire loyalist who had only moved to Skyrim to get away from the invasion. He despised the nords and their ways and had used his wealth to dismiss many of the guards and nobles of Solitude and Morthal. He always kept a guard of veterans from the Imperial Legion with him and his estate was heavily defended.

    Frodnar and Tara had become good friends and sometimes they reminded me of how old I had gotten. On cold night my bones hurt and it had only gotten worse when I arrived in Skyrim. Frodnar had gotten himself drunk again and while Tara tried to get him in bed, I fell asleep.


    People, please leave comments. I really want to know what you think of this. If no one likes it, then it's unnecessary to continue, right?
    Last edited by Mhaedros; December 11, 2012 at 03:22 PM. Reason: updated
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  2. #2
    Ferdiad's Avatar Patricius
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    Default Re: A thieves tale - TES fanfic

    I don't like the way you did the Guards dialogue at the end.

  3. #3
    Mhaedros's Avatar Brave Heart Tegan
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    Default Re: A thieves tale - TES fanfic

    What's wrong with it?
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    Mhaedros's Avatar Brave Heart Tegan
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    Default Re: A thieves tale - TES fanfic

    Chapter 2 in the OP
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  6. #6
    Ngugi's Avatar TATW & Albion Local Mod
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    Default Re: A thieves tale - TES fanfic

    Good story, nice mix of good descriptions and action (I'm already fond of Delvin, hope to see more of him)

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    Mhaedros's Avatar Brave Heart Tegan
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic

    Thanks for the comments guys! Chapter 3 is up soon
    Last edited by Mhaedros; April 07, 2012 at 07:05 AM.
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    Mhaedros's Avatar Brave Heart Tegan
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic

    Chapter 3. Whiterun
    Whiterun was originally just a village built around the Companions meadhall Jorrvaskr. The Companions were a group of warriors who sold their services to those who could afford it. Risking their lives for money. Just like I did. The only difference was that I remained silent in the shadows, while they died. Soon Whiterun had became a paradise for trading, due to it's central location in Skyrim. The jarl lived at the top of a hill in the city. The castle where she lived, was called Dragonsreach.
    I was told the ring probably was in her living quarters, but that you could never be sure. To get in I could either try my luck at the front gates, or brake in through the prisons. I decided it was better to remain hidden, so I headed for the dungeons. At night I climbed the outer wall of the castle and soon found the gates. They where heavily guarded tho, so I decided to keep to the plan and find the jail. It was a small door, a pretty close to the main entrance. It wasn't guarded, but some watchmen were patrolling the whole area. I sneaked over to the door and tried the handle. Locked. “I think I have some picks here somewhere...” I thought, but didn't have more time than that. One of the guards was heading this way again, so I had to hide again. After a couple of minutes the guard went on and I could open the lock.

    Inside was dark and hard to breath. There was a sleeping guard at the end of a table, but other than that no one was there. I walked up some stairs and found another door that went right into the castle. The whole place seemed empty, so I sneaked on towards some new stairs. At the second floor was a guard tho and he didn't seem sleepy at all. I decided it was best to take him out in some way, so I poisoned a bit of bread when he looked away. He died before he even noticed something was wrong. Now I had multiple choices. Which way the right one? There was a new stair, this one going down and two doors. I decided to try the stairs.

    I came into a bedroom alright, but it wasn't the jarl's bedroom. It rather seemed like some kind of servant's room. Pretty small and without too many decorations. While I sneaked back upstairs someone had noticed the poisoned guard tho. He wasn't there anymore, but other guards were searching through the whole place and three of them were stationed outside one of the doors. “So that's the jarl's quarters.” I thought. But how should I get in there? Suddenly I got an idea. One of the searching guards was heading this way. “Maybe...” I managed to kill the guard without any problems and no one noticed a thing. After that I took his armour off and to all luck he had a helmet which wasn't showing his face. I took the armour on and walked towards the door.
    -We got him. The captain wants to speak with the three of you tho. I said, recognizing the guard who had fallen asleep.
    The guards walked away and I had my chance. The door wasn't locked and it was easy to get in. Inside was a large bed and lots of jewels. “How am I going to find the ring in time?” But then I saw it. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! Made by gold and diamonds, just like Delvin had told me, it was lying inside a container made of glass. I crushed the container fast, took the ring and ran away, dumping the soldier's armour behind the castle. After a couple of minutes I had sat on a horse and was on my way back to Riften...


    Please leave comments
    Last edited by Mhaedros; April 07, 2012 at 02:53 PM.
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  9. #9
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter 3 out

    It's coming along nicely +rep

    I can't wait to see what is going to happen next...

    I've updated my post with my thoughts after reading through it properly, hope it helps - and if you feel as if I'm talking complete nonsense, please just tell me to shut up

    EDIT: The post
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    After having a quick look at it (I'll read it properly later) the only thing that really stood out that I think could be improved on would be the dialogue passage at the end of Chapter 1

    e.g.


    Orginal
    The city had two levels, the ground plane and the docks. I thought I had the best chances to get away at the docks, but to get there I had to reveal myself to the whole market. There wasn't very much else I could do, so I ran, and I ran. I could hear the guards shouting behind me, but I couldn't look back now. The stairs where too far away, so I just jumped down into the water. Now every guard at the market had noticed me tho, so I had to be very fast now. Some of them where already halfway down the stairs. I managed to pull myself up a wharf, and looked around. There where no ways out, except a large gate for boats. The gate was closing, but maybe I could manage to get there... arrows started flying nearby me.
    - Stop right there, criminal scum! Some of the guards shouted. Ha! Like I'd stop now. The gate was almost closed. A little faster... But some of the guards where faster than me, and where now standing before me with drawn swords. No! Suddenly I noticed a door made of iron. I ran towards it, and to my luck it wasn't locked. I threw myself inside and hid in the shadows. I could hear the guards talking outside.
    - Shall we follow him inside captain?
    - No Ulfric. He went into the Ratways. He will be dead before the end of the day. But you and Hadvar can stay here and guard the door if you want.
    - Aye captain


    Edited Version
    The city had two levels, the ground plane and the docks. I thought I had the best chances to get away at the docks, but to get there I had to reveal myself to the whole market. There wasn't very much else I could do, so I ran, and I ran. I could hear the guards shouting behind me, but I couldn't look back now. The stairs where too far away, so I just jumped down into the water. Now every guard at the market had noticed me tho, so I had to be very fast now. Some of them where already halfway down the stairs. I managed to pull myself up a wharf, and looked around. There where no ways out, except a large gate for boats. The gate was closing, but maybe I could manage to get there... arrows started flying nearby me.

    - "Stop right there, criminal scum!" Some of the guards shouted.

    Ha! Like I'd stop now. The gate was almost closed. A little faster... But some of the guards where faster than me, and where now standing before me with drawn swords. No! Suddenly I noticed a door made of iron. I ran towards it, and to my luck it wasn't locked. I threw myself inside and hid in the shadows. I could hear the guards talking outside.

    - "Shall we follow him inside captain?"

    - "No Ulfric. He went into the Ratways. He will be dead before the end of the day. But you and Hadvar can stay here and guard the door if you want."

    - "Aye captain."


    As I said, I'll have a proper look later, and it's just what I think Besides what I've seen so far it's a great story, well done

    EDIT: Read through your story properly now, it's off to a great start I only have two 'tips' for you (at the moment ): One, I find the way you have presented your dialogue could be improved [see above] and secondly, for me, everything seems a bit 'rushed'. The character is kind of at A and then B almost immediately, I personally think it would be better if you slowed things down a bit Not too slow though
    Last edited by Shankbot de Bodemloze; April 14, 2012 at 07:03 AM.
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  10. #10
    StealthFox's Avatar Consensus Achieved
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter 3 out

    Overall it's pretty good. I've made a few suggestion below though. Try to notice the structure of your sentences. Vary your writing to include compound, complex, compound-complex, and simple sentences. Watch out for run-ons and comma splices too. Shankbot's suggestion about dialogue is also good.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mhaedros
    Prologue
    Prologue

    This is my tale, the tale about Silius (that's me!), the imperial thief from the Imperial City. I was a well respected member of the Thieves Guild in Cyrodiil. I fled the City just before the Aldmeri Dominion sacked it during the Great War,and traveled to Bruma. In Bruma I traveled to Bruma where I heard of the Blades, a secret society hiding nearby., and I decided to find them, but the Aldmeri where were faster than me. and When I finally found their dwellings, I discovered that they had all been destroyed. Some way from the destroyed temple (I later knew it was called Cloud Ruler Temple) I met a man fleeing from the temple. We decided to go north together, to Skyrim. Outside the village of Riverwood we went different ways. I never got to know the other man's name, but I remembered him, and the gift he gave me: a short blade, black as the night, and sharp as a razor. The other man said the dagger was called Mehrunes Razor. I went to the local tavern in Riverwood, and got drunk. The people at the inn took well care of me, as I had news of what happened in the rest of the Empire. But However, someone recognized me as a higher in the Guild, and I got thrown into the street., They told me that if I ever showed my face in their city again, they would chop my head off.


    Ch. 1
    A shadow climbed the city wall of Riften. To reach the city I had to cross a mountain pass, and the little village of Ivorstead. It was a long journey. I had been on the road for several days, and I didn't want any problems with watchmen right now. I could deal with them later. Right now I only wanted a drink, and some warm food. I had heard that the local tavern served some interesting drinks, and couldn't wait to try one of those. Sneaking by the shadows I happened to find the market. A couple of stands with different goods. Suddenly I felt something. Just a little feeling, something that wasn't right. It was like someone watched me, even though I was hiding. Can someone know I'm here?
    Now I noticed what was wrong. There was a large man near one of the stands at the market, watching me. How could he notice me?! After a couple of seconds he turned around, and started speaking to a guard. They both looked at me. “Damn! I should have moved when I had the chance!”
    Now I recognized the large man. He was one of the guests at the inn in Riverwood, and he had definitely recognized me as well. Now I was in real trouble...
    The guard called for another guard, and another one. They where all watching me. I had to find a way to get out of there. I needed to find something that might help me. I decided to get out of the city as fast as I could, so I and started running as fast as I could.

    The city had two levels, the ground plane and the docks. I thought I had the best chances to get away at the docks, but to get there I had to reveal myself to the whole market. There wasn't very much else I could do, so I ran, and I ran. I could hear the guards shouting behind me, but I couldn't look back now. The stairs where were too far away, so I just jumped down into the water. Now every guard at the market had noticed me tho, so I had to be very fast now. Some of them where already halfway down the stairs. I managed to pull myself up a wharf, and looked around. There where were no ways out, except a large gate for boats. The gate was closing, but maybe I could manage to get there... arrows started flying nearby me.
    - Stop right there, criminal scum! Some of the guards shouted. Ha! Like I'd stop now. The gate was almost closed. A little faster... But some of the guards where were faster than me, and where were now standing before me with drawn swords. No! Suddenly I noticed a door made of iron. I ran towards it, and to my luck it wasn't locked. I threw myself inside and hid in the shadows. I could hear the guards talking outside.
    - Shall we follow him inside captain?
    - No Ulfric. He went into the Ratways. He will be dead before the end of the day. But you and Hadvar can stay here and guard the door if you want.
    - Aye captain!
    Last edited by StealthFox; April 13, 2012 at 07:44 PM.

  11. #11

    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter 3 out

    I like it.

    No disrespect to the local scene, but I could recommend a fiction site with a fairly substantial Elder Scrolls community if you like.

  12. #12
    Mhaedros's Avatar Brave Heart Tegan
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter 3 out

    Nah I don't like other forums I'm working on chapter 4 as we speak, but I don't know when it's ready
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  13. #13
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter 3 out

    Quote Originally Posted by Time2Kill View Post
    I like it.

    No disrespect to the local scene, but I could recommend a fiction site with a fairly substantial Elder Scrolls community if you like.
    Blasphemy
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Quote Originally Posted by Mhaedros View Post
    Nah I don't like other forums I'm working on chapter 4 as we speak, but I don't know when it's ready
    Can't wait!
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter 3 out

    New chapter

    Chapter 4. Knock on the Road

    It was two days since my adventure in Whiterun. On the road I had found a khajiit caravan traveling from Markarth to Riften, so I joined them. The Guild and the caravans often traded with each other. The caravans transported illegal goods through Skyrim, while the Guild looked after their backs. When we met on the road, their leader Ri'Jirr welcomed me to join them, I said yes. After a couple of hours we walked into trouble. It was an ambush. Very well planned and very dangerous. We walked into a small forest and suddenly arrows started flying. One of the khajiit got one in the chest and died almost instantly, while others, like Ri'Jirr got hurt by them. I threw myself into a ditch my the road and drew my blade before anyone noticed I was gone. The bandits who ambushed us now jumped out of the woods and attacked the remainings of the caravan with axes and swords. I ran as fast as I could with the dagger in my hand. I could hear the screams behind me, but tried not to think of them. Suddenly a lonely bandit came before me. “Where did he come from?” Before I could react he hit me in the head with the back of his axe. Everything went dark, but before I got unconscious I heard screams and someone running...


    When I woke up my head was on fire. My eyes where blurry for some time, but after a while I could see again. I was at a camp with both my hands and feet tied. The knots weren't very strong, but in this shape I couldn't manage to take them off. Around me was the smell wet cat. At first I though that some of the khajiits had been captured, but soon realized I was wrong. Around me lay dead naked khajiit bodies, almost the whole caravan! I was clad in some old rags. A couple of meters away was a campfire with some bandits sitting around it. One of them suddenly walked towards me. I could smell when filth and rotten meat. Apparently he was going to pee on me and the khajiit, but when I looked him in the eyes he changed his mind.
    He's awake lads! the bandit shouted. The rest of them stood up and walked towards us. One of them, the biggest, leaned over me. His breath almost made me faint, that's how disgusting it was.
    So, you're one of them thieves aren't you? he whispered in my ear We might be able to help eachother, don't you think?
    S-sure. What do you want? I managed to answer. When the bandit chief heard this a huge grin appeared in his face.
    I want a place in the Guild he whispered back. I want to be a member of it and I want to do whatever I want to, without any guards to worry about
    I cannot promise anything... I started to say, but he hit me in the face before I could finish.
    - Let's get out'ta here lads! The place'll be filled with soldiers before nightfall cause you let that bloody cat run off!
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    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter 3 out

    A short but sweet update

    I want to know more about this 'bandit'

    The only problem for me was the lack of speech marks at the end conversation, but it's your call Thanks for the explanation

    Keep it up


    rep when I can repped
    Last edited by Shankbot de Bodemloze; April 20, 2012 at 12:58 PM.
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    Radboud's Avatar Luctor et Emergo
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter4 Knock on the Road

    Don't know if this is where to post it but here we go (as requested):
    Last edited by Radboud; April 17, 2012 at 05:56 AM.

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    Mhaedros's Avatar Brave Heart Tegan
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter4 Knock on the Road

    Great logo Rad +rep and all that stuff. I'll open a thread in the writers lounge with a collection of my works
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    Mhaedros's Avatar Brave Heart Tegan
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    Default UPDATE

    Chapter 5. Escape
    After some hours I realized the bandit clan was split. Some of them supported the leader, some of them supported a woman called Eyja. Every time a decision was made Eyja and the leader, named Rolff had a big fight, whatever the matter was. Apparently Rolff was the only reason I was still alive. Most of the others, including Eyja, wanted to see me dead, but luckily enough the leader still had some authority over Eyja and her supporters. Otherwise I probably would have died right there. Anyway we didn't follow the same road as the kahjiit, probably because of soldiers guarding it. Instead we took a old forestpath leading towards the mountains southwards; the men called the highest peak High Hrothgar. Some of the nords in the group started whispering to themselves when we got closer. Praying? The more sensitive of them just fell silent with red eyes. Both Rolff and Eyja where unchanged tho.
    - What's so special about that mountain?, I asked.
    - Didn't I tell you to shut up you lazy maggot?, Rolff screamed in my ears.
    I needed to be more careful.

    At night when most of the men where asleep Rolff came to me tho. I was lying near one of the tents and someone who didn't know I was there, wouldn't have seen me. I could actually smell him long before he came. A musty smell of blood and pee. Then he sneaked closer and started whispering.
    - Halloy there lad., he said even tho I was older than him. You're gonna go free tonight, but you need to help me flee too. That damn woman almost has the power to turn my men against me now and I need to be a long way away from here when that happens. I'll cut your bounds now and we'll be off
    He took a big knife from his belt and for a moment I thought he was going to stab me with it. He only cut the ropes as he had promised tho and soon I was free.
    - Don't try to sneak away, cause I'm right behind ya' he threatened me. “Oh, I know very well” I thought, but didn't have the courage to say it out loud.
    - Let's go then. I said instead.


    We ran eastwards south of the mountain called High Hrothgar. There was a small valley between the mountain range north of us and the one south of us. It was filled with trees and animals, but I feared there would be wolves or even worse, bears. After a couple of hours we started walking instead. Both of us where tired and hungry. That idiot didn't even bring water or food for two! Anyway he said we headed for a village called Ivorstead. It was there all pilgrimages to High Hrothgar started. Before we could enter the village we both needed to bath and change clothes tho, so I had to steal something from a small house on the way. It seemed some kind of hunter lived there, but no one was there, so I just grabbed something and ran away. After getting most of the pee and filth away, Rolff actually looked quite normal. We continued eastwards until we came to the village. There where guards. Lots of them also, but they didn't seem to know either of us. It seemed the kahjiit who fled had gone the other way. We stayed at the inn for one night and the next day we continued eastwards to Riften.
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  19. #19
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter 5 Escape updated 22.4

    Oooooh... very interesting

    Good update I liked the unexpected twist

    Can't wait to see where this leads our friend too...
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  20. #20
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    Default Re: A thief's tale - TES fanfic Chapter 5 Escape updated 22.4

    I quite like it but I'm not a fan of short updates. Gimme something with volume! pretty please? ^^

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