Worst movie ever

What the worst movie you've ever seen? Not just a bad movie. But the most horrible movie you've ever seen. So bad, it ain't even funny.
I'll kick off with this:
Druids a.k.a. Vercingetorix
Not much to say.. just a really really pathetic piece of moviemaking.

Who was it that had the Robo Vampire sig? Apparently it's the worst movie ever. I've never seen it though. Yet.

ROBO VAMPIRE

Even reading about it makes me laugh out load.

The Passion

Why anyone would wanna see Mel Gibson have an orgasm is beyond me.

Originally Posted by God

Who was it that had the Robo Vampire sig? Apparently it's the worst movie ever. I've never seen it though. Yet.

ROBO VAMPIRE

Even reading about it makes me laugh out load.

I was the one with the Robo Vampire Sig/avatar/custom title, and I have seen the movie.
It's so bad that it becomes a masterpiece.
I would urge everyone to find a way to get a copy of this now unfortunately out of print gem.

I would also like to mention Xin qi long zhu shen long de fu shou , Aka Dragon ball: the movie.

Or Long teng hu yue, aka "fearless Hyena II" or "le Cri de la Hyene", with Jackie Chan, mostly notable for its awesome couple of bad guys, whose ridiculous technique only equals their ridiculous eyebrows, Heaven and Earth :

They have the best scene of "evil manaical laughter" of cinematographic history.

Originally Posted by Timmius

What the worst movie you've ever seen? Not just a bad movie. But the most horrible movie you've ever seen. So bad, it ain't even funny.
I'll kick off with this:
Druids a.k.a. Vercingetorix
Not much to say.. just a really really pathetic piece of moviemaking.

thank god, i had no desire to watch this movie.

Anyone who is interested about the plot, story, character, can simply view this review and you will not have to watch the movie whatsoever, because those screens gives you the same satisfaction as watching the whole movie.

i'm sure everyone imagined Vercigentorix like this: :eekout:

Pearl Harbour

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0213149/

Originally Posted by Archer

thank god, i had no desire to watch this movie.

Anyone who is interested about the plot, story, character, can simply view this review and you will not have to watch the movie whatsoever, because those screens gives you the same satisfaction as watching the whole movie.

i'm sure everyone imagined Vercigentorix like this: :eekout:

Did the gaul's really have moustaches like that?



Friday night lights (or Monday night, I can't remember)

The characters had no personality and showed barely any emotion, and not much seemed to happen.
It was just boring in general.

The more I read about Robo Vampire, the more I want to see it! It looks like pretty solid entertainment!

I know some of you are probably going to disagree with my nomination...

Alexander

I can't help it. I've got nothing against homosexuals but I've never seen a more blatant example of a film that tries to be so politically correct that it ignores the actual subject matter in the process.

I didn't go to the cinema to see two men eyeing each other up from across a banquet table, I went to see blood, guts and historical fact!

Besides, the accents are absolutely horrible. Colin Farrel is a good actor (and Irish hooray!) but there's something iffy when an ancient Hellenic King starts talking with a working class Dublin accent.

"Yeh rite den Darius... I'll figh' yeh fer yer impire"

Let's not even get started on Val Kilmer's...

Too many bad memories of watching that film...

Good soundtrack though...

Originally Posted by Merry Ploughboy

I know some of you are probably going to disagree with my nomination...

Alexander

I can't help it. I've got nothing against homosexuals but I've never seen a more blatant example of a film that tries to be so politically correct that it ignores the actual subject matter in the process.

I didn't go to the cinema to see two men eyeing each other up from across a banquet table, I went to see blood, guts and historical fact!

Besides, the accents are absolutely horrible. Colin Farrel is a good actor (and Irish hooray!) but there's something iffy when an ancient Hellenic King starts talking with a working class Dublin accent.

"Yeh rite den Darius... I'll figh' yeh fer yer impire"

Let's not even get started on Val Kilmer's...

Too many bad memories of watching that film...

Good soundtrack though...

No I agree it's up there amongst the worst. Poorly done battle, poor acting, poor dialogue - crap movie.

Archer, he looks like he is seeing something traumatising...like the part of the contract that stipulates his payment is scaled to the movies profits.

Worst movie ever: Bicentennial man starring Robin Williams, my girlfriend of the time forced me to see it with her...I dumped her after half an hour and left (ahhhh high school love...).

Edit: Then my next girlfriend wanted to see it (The next weekend) and I fell asleep five times during the movie. Robin Williams sucked as both a robot and a man, go figure.

*moved to the arts*
tBP

Dark Waters...

I would just like to point out that you just read about a ghost and a gorilla vampire trying to have sex when they suddenly are interrupted by a robot out to get a drug lord. You will never read that again in any other context, so cherish this moment before it's gone.

Haha this film certainly sounds amusing!

Originally Posted by Lord Tomyris

Haha this film certainly sounds amusing!

The stunt double's the best bit:

a blonde woman we've never seen before appears and blasts away on her machine gun before jumping out the window and serving us the most obvious stunt double ever.



I can only imagine how the casting agent presented this situation to the director:

Livingstone: So, Sarah, we're shooting the church stunt today, could you get the stunt woman ready for make-up?

Sarah: Yeah, about that... She kinda isn't here, so we had to get someone else.

Livingstone: Well, does she look like the actress she's standing in for?

Sarah: Uh, she's not as much a 'she' as she is a... em... 'he'.

Livingstone: What? Everybody is going to notice if a big burly stunt guy suddenly takes over!

Sarah: In fact, he's quite a bit shorter than her. I think it will work out, though, as soon as the interpreter has managed to explain what he's supposed to do.

Livingstone: He's a Mexican?!

Sarah: No, no, he's Asian.

Livingstone: Oh god, please tell me his skin color is at least close to white!

Sarah: Actually, he's one of those dark ones.

Livingstone: Jesus Christ, just give him a damned wig and get him ready. I'll see what I can do.

Sarah: Yeah, that's another thing. We can't find the long blonde wig, so we'll have to settle for a short grey one. And the interpreter isn't completely sure, but he thinks the stunt guy refuses to shave his moustache.

The name of the casting agent has been altered in the above dramatization, not just because I want to protect her privacy, but also because this movie has no end credits.

I must watch this movie! :laughing:

If you haven't read about it yet, read it now:
http://www.encyclopedia-obscura.com/...bovampire.html

It's hilarious.

The Langoliers.

Stealth ranks as one of the worst movies I have ever had to endure.

Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma by Pier Paolo Pasolini.

edit: Actually I missed the bit 'films you have seen' I haven't actually seen it; nor do I have any intention of seeing it.

(incidentally, it would be difficult to call it the worst as the phrase in context is inherently subjective and more than slightly arbitary - however, it is not a film one would recommend)

Originally Posted by The Burgundian Noble

Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma by Pier Paolo Pasolini.
edit: Actually I missed the bit 'films you have seen' I haven't actually seen it; nor do I have any intention of seeing it.
(incidentally, it would be difficult to call it the worst as the phrase in context is inherently subjective and more than slightly arbitary - however, it is not a film one would recommend)

I've seen salo it's not so much bad as sickening and at times hard to watch, i'm sure you know what i'm talking about, unless your into that kind of thing then it's probably great.

Mine is one of the worst and strangly one of the best, it's called the Holy Mountain i'm going to post a review because it's almost impossible to describe this film.

How can the average person describe the Holy Mountain? They can't, It's one of those films that is so bizarre that one has to witness it at least 5 times to fully appreciate it. Alejandro Jodorowsky takes every form of religion and mysticism and puts it into symbolic imagery, that turns into a two hour mind trip. The film is not thrown together, each scene is so chock full of strange imagery, yet each image has a particular meaning. The plot concerns, the thief, who seems to be representational of Christ in modern times. The thief awakens in the desert, almost crucified by children, he is then rescued by an amputee dwarf. After him and the dwarf share a joint, they travel through different scene after scene of surreal images. In one scenario a police state has taken over downtown Mexico. Innocent people are massacred, and birds fly out of their bullet wounds. The conquest of Mexico is reenacted by frogs and iguanas. The Christ character gets drunk with Roman soldiers, and they make a mold of him to produce statues for profit. And this is all in the first twenty minutes. The occult science of alchemy is another factor of the film. The thief finally meets the alchemist, played by Jodorowsky himself, and the alchemist turns his excrement into gold. The black magic of alchemy involves turning raw materials into gold, but it also is a science that the nine planets of the solar system revolve around. We are then introduced to 7 of the most powerful people in the world named after the planets of the solar system. Each person is corrupt and greedy involved in politics, war or mass marketing. Each person who has their own planet, and a weakness is willing to give up their money and be reborn as a Buddhist monk. In a way these people are alchemists also since they have the ability to turn worthless items such as weapons and cosmetics into riches. Since money is just paper, in a way the magic of alchemy in everyday life convinces us that the dollar bill is of value. Many aspects of life are just an illusion, just as in cinema. In the Holy Mountain Jodorowsky proves to be the master of illusion like a magician. Also his character, the Alchemist has the job of spiritual leader to lead all of the 9 people to the Holy Mountain including the Christ character and the women with the Kaballah tattoos. Also the film is indulgent at times in it's Frued like sexuality and nudity. It is both strange and intriguing, both hilarious and horrifying, and one of the weirdest films your most likely to see. Their is so much that happens in this film, that it's almost impossible to describe. People who are looking for deep meaning in films like Donnie Darko need to keep searching, the films of Alejandro Jodorowsky would be a good start. The Holy Mountain is not only a masterpiece, it's a spiritual journey, and it just might very well change the way you look at the world. Not everyone will like it, so sit back and watch with an open mind. The Holy Mountain is one of the most underrated and important films ever made. 10/10

It took me 8-9 attempts to watch all the way through and about two years to understand it, which i'm still not sure about.

Originally Posted by Dorian Gray

Stealth ranks as one of the worste movies I have ever had to endure.

yeah but at least jessica biel is in it....