I know your name, where you live, and what shoes you're wearing

**Silver Guard** · June 05, 2006, 09:24 AM

Stalking
Just when does lust/attraction become obsession, and just when does it become stalking?

**~~ckerr094~~** · June 05, 2006, 09:46 AM

When you think of nothing but that person, when you are willing to stop at nothing to get your way into her life.

**Ardeur** · June 05, 2006, 11:09 AM

I'd say when you start 'Googling' the person, you've crossed a line.

**Richard the Lionheart** · June 05, 2006, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by Ardeur

I'd say when you start 'Googling' the person, you've crossed a line.

Googling a person?

Well I guess it could work if they're a celebrity or something.

**Cluny the Scourge** · June 05, 2006, 05:06 PM

You cross the line into obsession when you wouldn't be prepared to leave them alone if they asked you to - that demonstrates that you don't really care about them or what they want, only your own craving for their love/attention when they simply aren't interested. I have done plenty of craving for women who couldn't care less, but I always abandoned all hope and went off to suffer alone the moment they expressed their distaste. Love, but not obsession.

**Necromancer** · June 05, 2006, 06:32 PM

When you start imagining (not hallucinating) them to be right next to you, and you have mental discussions with them. That's obsession right there.

**Ulyaoth** · June 05, 2006, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by Necromancer

When you start imagining (not hallucinating) them to be right next to you, and you have mental discussions with them. That's obsession right there.

I do that all the time with thousands of people, that's not obsession.

**~~Atheist Peace~~** · June 05, 2006, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by Ulyaoth

I do that all the time with thousands of people, that's not obsession.

Yeah me too. Well, I don't really "imagine them next to me," whatever that truly means, but otherwise, yes.

well, not realy. You put yourself in a situation and think about what you would say.

Exactly.

**HMMcKamikaze** · June 05, 2006, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by Necromancer

When you start imagining (not hallucinating) them to be right next to you, and you have mental discussions with them. That's obsession right there.

Nah, thats just Schitzophrenia

**Ó Cathasaigh** · June 05, 2006, 06:40 PM

well, not realy. You put yourself in a situation and think about what you would say. I'd say crossing the line would be, as cluny put it.

**Garbarsardar** · June 05, 2006, 06:59 PM

Well, none of the above really.

When you are fascinated by a real person in your immediate proximity you can call this infatuation.

When you find all your thoughts turning around a particular person, object or situation ( and it could be a person you hate, not only a person you are infatuated with) this is called obsession and it involves a substantially higher degree of suffering than infatuation.

When you are actively pursuing information about the life and movements of a person, in a way which surpasses the actions normally expected in the two previous categories, then it is stalking.

**Farnan** · June 05, 2006, 07:28 PM

If you're still talking to that person and having conversation it is not stalking, when you start following them and try to keep them from noticing your doing it, when you do it against her will you are stalking. If you follow them a bit so you can talk (by that I mean you look for them where you are, so that you can talk to them there, not following them home) then it is not stalking unless you are indeed following them home.

**Silver Guard** · June 06, 2006, 05:35 AM

Googling? If by that you mean Oogling, of staring, then that is a common activity for many people!
AT, that wasn't realy needed was it?
Combining Keystone soldier and Garb:
When you are actively pursuing information about the life and movements of a person, in a way which surpasses the actions normally expected in the two previous categories, then it is stalking. When this is done in a way which has no intrest in communicating to the person in the process, or has nothing to do with their feelings, or deliberatly against their will it is also stalking

**Aristocrat** · June 06, 2006, 05:53 AM

When you get a restraining order filed against you or a supena (sp?) in the mail you know you have crossed the line...but why should that be a deterrant, she is just playing hard to get. (Devil's advocate...and that was meant to be a joke...albeit a little off).

If your obsessed with someone or something, it consumes your life and slowly your life comes to revolve solely around that person or thing with no regard for anything else.
Stalking is when you take obsession with someone to the next 'level' (so to speak) and you actively invade on that person's privacy by following them, watching them, and (in some cases) always trying to get their attention. Also, there are different 'levels' of stalking, the 'only spying on her kind' and the 'now I am a real psycho kind', notice the transition from obsession to covert stalker to overt stalker. All three are unhealthy for a person and the last two are unhealthy for the person being stalked.

Then there is the 'anti-stalker' someone who continually turns up in places and accuses the person they are following of stalking them....they are truly insane (cough...my ex-girlfriend....uncough).

Edit: And by Googling he means searching their name of google.

**Farnan** · June 06, 2006, 07:43 AM

Hey Googling someones name does not equal stalking, or I stalk myself and nearly everyone...

Sometimes you do it just for fun to see what turns up.

**the Black Prince** · June 06, 2006, 07:53 AM

English Stalking legislation

Protection from Harassment Act 1997

S1
ss1 - A person must not pursue a course of conduct- (a) which amounts to harassment of another, and (b) which he knows or ought to know amounts to harassment of the other.
ss2 - For the purposes of this section, the person whose course of conduct is in question ought to know that it amounts to harassment of another if a reasonable person in possession of the same information would think the course of conduct amounted to harassment of the other.

S2
ss1 - A person who pursues a course of conduct in breach of section 1 is guilty of an offence.
ss2 - A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable on summary conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months, or a fine not exceeding level 5 on the standard scale, or both.

S3
ss1 - An actual or apprehended breach of section 1 may be the subject of a claim in civil proceedings by the person who is or may be the victim of the course of conduct in question.
ss2 - On such a claim, damages may be awarded for (among other things) any anxiety caused by the harassment and any financial loss resulting from the harassment.

A 'course of conduct' is defined as conduct on two or more occasions. - Pratt v DPP 2001

additional situation specific offences are also found in::
Offences against the Person Act 1861 - fear of violence
Sexual Offences Act 2003 - sexual harassment
Telecommunications Act 1984 - silent phone calls
Malicious Communications Act 1988 - offensive letters and "poison pens"
Sex Discrimination Act 1975 - sexual harassment
Race Relations Act 1976 - racial harassment
Protection from Eviction Act 1977 and Housing Act 1996

the language of the Protection from Harassment act means harassment is any course of conduct that the Jury, taking account of the defendants age sex etc, decide is harassment... its a highly subjective offence

**Ardeur** · June 06, 2006, 08:56 AM

Googling? If by that you mean Oogling, of staring, then that is a common activity for many people!

Originally Posted by Wiki on Googling

http://encyclopedia.tfd.com/Googling The verb to google means "to perform a Web search", usually with the Google search engine. "Mary googled for Wikipedia references." Compare with grep. This new word arose from the tremendous popularity of the Google search engine. The American Dialect Society chose the verb to google as the "most useful word of 2002."

Another use of the word is to say that some brand or concept "does (or doesn't) google," which indicates whether or not useful information can be found on it using a quick Internet search (commonly with the Google engine). For instance, a person named David Jones, or a computer program named "Click", doesn't google, since using either as a query would return hundreds of links unrelated to the individual or program in question. Similarly, really obscure things don't google because they return no hits. Both search engines and companies try to ensure that the most relevant results are returned first; thus, virtually every well-known company googles.

The word google can also be used as a noun, meaning "search engine hit." The derivative term kilogoogle (i.e. 1000, or maybe 1024, search engine hits) is also in use, but megagoogles are rarely heard of. As such, a certain search term might score 58 kilogoogles.

Google discourages such use, fearing the dilution and potential loss of its trademark, like Yo-Yo, Xerox and escalator (see genericized trademark). The company sent a cease and desist letter to Paul McFedries, creator of wordspy.com [1], a website that tracks neologisms. However, Google also sells the "I Google" Tee, which uses Google as a verb on the product and in its description.

I was actually just kidding, I Google people all the time.