Poems

Hey, there is a poem thread but for civitates only. I suggest we should make one (like the one for quotes) for everyone and make it a sticky so everyone can posts their poems, or poems from other authors.

The reason I started this is also because I want you to give me your opinion abut this poem. This poem is for a project for school in which we make a “literally journal”, or at least is how they call it and they ask us to submit anything, like a poem or story, ect. Please give me some sort of feedback, I want harsh criticism but constructive. So please be highly critical and mean but to make the poem better.

I crawled in this world with the disgrace

of passed illusions,

of passed times I cried

that will never return.

I followed your steps

and drank incessantly from the cup of oblivion,

and in each corner you left forgotten a piece of heart.

Now, alone and beaten I want to confess:

For your bewitched eyes I would have always given more.

My sick being doesn’t resist anymore.

Memories come up from those moments I enjoyed

As I idolized your smile

and your beauty unrivalled,

and drunk of love I entreated you with devotion

with my most sincere and bitter tears

half of them cold,

half of them sour.

A love you were lying.

I smoked ablaze my life waiting for replies

and the feel of your lips thirsty of passion

from your sleek and coquettish figure.

Fondle me in your dreams

with the soft ripple of your sigh

the day when you will consent me

at the sound of church bells

dressed with your best colors,

and love me at the dusk of the sky.

And they will say you are my comfort.

And they will say you are mine.

Nice poem... but:

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=43366

:original: