Are looks important?

[zelda]

i had sex with someone who wasnt grossly obese but he was pretty overweight. it was the first and last time, i really liked this guy alot. he was handsome but he was overweight. i wanted to be unbiased because i really liked him. but the only way to have sex was on top because he would crush me. i had to be on top because his stomach in the way. i wonder if thats what it is like to sleep with a pregnant woman.
they always say that women arent into appearances as much as men are but thats not true. i think women are just as moved by appearences, but they are willing to accept a situation were men are more attractive because of who earns the bread situation. there r so many women with ugly guys, i swear if they didnt have money forget it. 250 pounds 5.3 bald, disgusting misogynist pigs. deep down inside these women know but r afraid to tell anyonne. if i see someone who isnt necessarily beautiful, i can still be attracted to them based on there inntellect or whatever.

[Spiff]

Very much the wrong forum, Not really a political issue

I think this should either be in Social/Relationship Problems , or Ethos, Mores, et Monastica if you want to debate this is terms or morality, or Athenaeum if you want to debate the science of attraction i suppose

[God-Emperor of Mankind]

IMO looks aren't important.
It is kinda like games.
If you got a game that is pure eye-candy and nothing else then the game will suck because there is no gameplay. The same with people.
Personalities comes first with me and if I like the personality then that is woman I can love.
If she happens to be good looking at the same time then hey a nice bonus but has no influence whats so ever.

[Pallida Mors]

Initial attraction was the only factor for me regarding looks. If you want to have a functional relationship it will require many other things then being awestricken by the others good looks. Like how they interact with you. To me everything else becomes more important, but attraction is the start.

[Last Roman]

Initial attraction was the only factor for me regarding looks. If you want to have a functional relationship it will require many other things then being awestricken by the others good looks. Like how they interact with you. To me everything else becomes more important, but attraction is the start.

exactly. When looking for a partner, you usually are looking for someone who looks nice. But as you get to know that person, looks matter less, and personality becomes more important

[Mathias]

IMO looks aren't important.
It is kinda like games.
If you got a game that is pure eye-candy and nothing else then the game will suck because there is no gameplay. The same with people.
Personalities comes first with me and if I like the personality then that is woman I can love.
If she happens to be good looking at the same time then hey a nice bonus but has no influence whats so ever.

The thing is; you cant have sex with games

[Caudex Maximus]

IMO looks aren't important.
It is kinda like games.
If you got a game that is pure eye-candy and nothing else then the game will suck because there is no gameplay. The same with people.
Personalities comes first with me and if I like the personality then that is woman I can love.
If she happens to be good looking at the same time then hey a nice bonus but has no influence whats so ever.

Yes! I knew I couldn't be the only person who has ever used that analogy.

While I think personality is vastly more important than looks, looks still do matter, it's simply human nature. It's not bad to think about looks as long as that's not the only or the most important thing one thinks about.

Also, it depends on what is making a person ugly. If they just have bad features then there isn't anything to do, but if they appear unattractive because of weight and it's not the result of a medical condition, one could always support them by encouraging them to work-out and eat better. They probably don't particularly enjoy being like that and if one supports and encourages (Note: not demand) them to become more physically fit, they'll feel better about themselves and that other person in their life will have one more reason to enjoy being with them.

[iKossu]

IMO looks aren't important.
It is kinda like games.
If you got a game that is pure eye-candy and nothing else then the game will suck because there is no gameplay. The same with people.
Personalities comes first with me and if I like the personality then that is woman I can love.
If she happens to be good looking at the same time then hey a nice bonus but has no influence whats so ever.

Great comparison dude. I agree but I'm pretty unsure about what girls/women like and think, but I do have a strong feeling that I'm not the only one. So, which is harder to understand: girls/women or computers/Windows?

Looks are exceedingly important, but not enough for a long term relationship.

Yep. Using TB666's comparison: it's cool to play a jaw-droppingly good looking game for a while but without anything else it gets boring pretty fast.

[Sidmen]

So your saying that women are gold diggers, and can't support themselves?

[zelda]

some women r gold diggers yes, some women cant or wont support themselves thats just life, what do u think if u see a lovely looking women with a really ugly man, do u think wow he must have a real sweet personality or i bet he has loads of cash.

[Tacticalwithdrawal]

moved to Ethos in the hope it develops into something good - Tac

[Legione]

^It's a natural thing, women look for the provider type, especially as she gets older, her attention shifts more form the cute guy in the class or whatever, to a guy who can provide and treat her right.

I thing generally yea guys are a little more focused on looks than girls are, but then again that's not always true.

[Cluny the Scourge]

Fat men nail fat women sometimes too. Envision it - the meat wobbling and swaying from side to side as they tried to reach each other. Tee hee hee!

[Justinian]

Of course looks are important. Women claim not to be as shallow as us men, but I'm certain that they are. You don't walk up to the ugly fat chick/dude at a party unless she's friends with a hot chick, it just doesn't happen. We are shallow animals.

Of course relationships built on looks don't last, but you hardly notice someone who isn't good looking long enough to get to know them anyway.

[norma]

i never really think much when i see fat men with thin women but for some reason it looks weird when its a skinny man with a fat woman.

good reply. ive seen people have really ugly girl and boyfriends and they tell u what there personality was like or is like and even thats crap and i think y the hell r u with them, but i guess everyone to their own i mean the only famouse person i cud really get on board with is robert de niro my family skit me cos im only 21 and he is what around 60. but he is lush mmmmmmmmm. ye but i bet alot of people think he is ugly. when i hear of some famous people men fancy they r usually slutty never beautiful,eg - christina agulira, paris hilton, and i definatley dont get yasmin bleeth however u spell it (baywatch chick). im a girl and i can apreciate a nice lookin bird eg. - marylin monroe, zeta jones, kelly brooke,rachel stevens. to name a few so u like who u like u.

[David Deas]

Ever notice that people tend to become more physically attractive as time goes on after you get to know them?

[Lord Tomyris]

Looks are indeed important! One might say 'I look for the personality in people', but if a person has both looks and personality, why go for someone who only has the latter! There's enough choice!

[Gwendylyn]

there r so many women with ugly guys, i swear if they didnt have money forget it. 250 pounds 5.3 bald, disgusting misogynist pigs.

That's three different things though. Money people already covered - women tend to look for guys who can provide for them, though this does not necessarily mean loaded with cash but more of financial responsibility. If a guy's really misogynist, then yea, there's a good point in looking for a reason why she'd be with him. Just because a guy's ugly, though, is not reason to pass the girl he's with as a goldigger, no more so than dating a really good-looking guy necessarily makes a person superficial.

Ever notice that people tend to become more physically attractive as time goes on after you get to know them?

Agreed, if you're also mentally attracted to the person. For me, if I am mentally turned off by a person, they become less and less physically attractive, no matter earlier impressions.

[the_mango55]

Ever notice that people tend to become more physically attractive as time goes on after you get to know them?

Yeah that's the truth. You will see some girl you have always known and thought somewhat attractive, then you start to hang out with her much more and all of a sudden you are like "wow she is so hot!" I know people that I think are hot that other people probably wouldn't say are hot at all.

[iKossu]

Todays women are very slim, or at least the ones portrayed in the media are, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton being good examples of the thin woman seen in the media , but it does not mean everyone finds it attractive. I for one do not like women who are so thin you can see their ribs and their skin looks stretched.

That really puts pressure on the "normal" girls/women. I feel pity for them.

But what really puzzles me is that how an earth can a woman's appearance change so radically just by make up and other "tuning", if I may. It's a total mystery for me. It's simply amazing, I'm speechles everytime I come a cross with that.

Yeah that's the truth. You will see some girl you have always known and thought somewhat attractive, then you start to hang out with her much more and all of a sudden you are like "wow she is so hot!" I know people that I think are hot that other people probably wouldn't say are hot at all.

This is so true. And, oh boy, it has happened to me too!