Proof Reading

[tone]

Some files for Moonmonkey for proof reading.....enjoy!!

A few points...

1) Don't touch anything inside curly brackets ..e.g. {barb_slinger_descr} - this is the in-game code and needs to remain as it is even if there are errors in spellings or grammar in it

2) Don't make any white space changes, especially after a } bracket

3) \n means new paragraph in game code

4) \n\n means double spaced new paragraph in game code

5) any random "\" in the text description of the trait will render the description blank in-game. This can only be used before an n

Thanks for doing a reasonably unappreciated task!

[Ybbon]

If you want more proof readers I can help with that too.

[tone]

Maybe you'd like to divide up the files between you...there's a lot there. Don't be afraid to rewrite stuff that doesn't read very well in English

[Ybbon]

OK, well I'll start with the smallest (campaign descriptions ) Looking at it in notepad and textpad there appear to be no line breaks just looking at the Belgae. I see the \n in there as the line breaks, what do you normally use to edit to make them readable or just as is?

[moonmonkey]

I just had a quick look using notepad and there are line breaks in mine. Yes, there is a lot so maybe me and ybbon66 can divide up the work, I'll start at the tailend 'export_VnVs' and work backwards if you are starting with the 'campaign_descriptions'

Thanks, I'll post again soon.

[Ybbon]

Sorry, to be clear, on IMPERIAL_CAMPAIGN_JULII_DESCR for the Belgae, it's one long line. That's fine I can work with it.

Before I start, one thing that has struck me before, there are some descriptions written in 3rd person. For example:

We are the Belgae. Our proud name means "the Furious Ones." ....

Carthage is thought to have been founded in the 9th Century BC by settlers from Phoenicia, ....

would it be better to have them all the same or just leave in the tense they are?

[dvk901]

I just had a quick look using notepad and there are line breaks in mine. Yes, there is a lot so maybe me and ybbon66 can divide up the work, I'll start at the tailend 'export_VnVs' and work backwards if you are starting with the 'campaign_descriptions'

Thanks, I'll post again soon.

Sorry, to be clear, on IMPERIAL_CAMPAIGN_JULII_DESCR for the Belgae, it's one long line. That's fine I can work with it.

Before I start, one thing that has struck me before, there are some descriptions written in 3rd person. For example:

We are the Belgae. Our proud name means "the Furious Ones." ....

Carthage is thought to have been founded in the 9th Century BC by settlers from Phoenicia, ....

would it be better to have them all the same or just leave in the tense they are?

The file 'campaign_descriptions.txt' is not used for anything in RS2 except the 'Play_One_Turn' campaign. Each individual campaign, otherwise, has it's own descriptions in the file called 'credits.txt' in the 'Play_XXXX\data' folders. Be aware that the spacing and line length are important in the 'credits.txt' files, otherwise parts of text end up off screen, or the text scrolls too fast to read it.

Also, in the play one turn campaign 'campaign_descriptions.txt' file, it would be very desirable to have the descriptions as short as possible, as a very long description causes RTW to load slow.
This is not true of the 'credits.txt' files, however.

To make long single lines 'wrap', go to 'Format' in Windows notepad, and choose 'wrap'. This will bunch the test up in the visible window.
There are like settings in Notepad++. (I use 'Notepad2', myself, all the time. Mainly, because it will read and allow searches in almost ANY kind of file....including .cas and exe files.)

[tone]

Well worth downloading Notepad++ as it's way better and allows for multiple undo levels and various things like that.

[Ybbon]

Textpad does much the same as Notepad++ I suspect. I can wrap and multiple undo etc. But it doesn't split a line on the \n (could probably fiddle and make it do it but it's not worth the effort right now) so I was really just wondering if you used something that wrapped at those. As I said, not to worry, all good with textpad, it's an excellent editor and I've used it for years so am familiar with it.

To clarify what I meant to say but didn't last time, some descriptions are 1st person, some are 3rd person. Should they stay as is or do you want them all 3rd person or all 1st person?

I'll start out on the left as is basis for now.

[Smokey Bacon]

Personally, I think the faction descriptions sound good as they are.

[moonmonkey]

I downloaded the Notepad++ and will use that program, I'm starting with the 'export_VnVs' which has short sentences rather than paragraphs.

I'm more just looking for any mistakes rather than rewriting,

I will make a copy of any edits and then others can check those edits.

Thanks.

[tone]

Some of the Greek descriptions were written by Keravnos (I think) so the flow isn't necessarily as we would speak it, so if there are places where flow can be improved do please feel free to do that.

[Ybbon]

That's what I was looking to do. The ones for 1-turn DVK said would be better at 85 words or so so they will need reducing. As the 1-turn campaign is somewhat separate, however, I'll start on export_ancillaries and then export_buildings first with a view to correcting typo's and the flow only.

[Ybbon]

I'm in the export_ancillaries and found:

{auditor} Auditor

{auditor_desc}
This Governor is suspected of siphoning funds from the regional treasury for his own gains. An auditor has been assigned to him to start checking the finances of this area.

{auditor_effects_desc}
-1 Influence

¬---------------Republic

{roman_auditor} Quaestor

{roman_auditor_desc}
This Governor is suspected of siphoning funds from the regional treasury for his own gains. The Senate has assigned a Quaestor to investigate this man.

{roman_auditor_effects_desc}
-1 Influence

¬---------------Late Empire

{roman_auditor2} Rationales Summarum

{roman_auditor2_desc}
The office of the Comes Largitionum has sent a representative to investigate this man. He is suspected of using his office for his own financial gain.

{roman_auditor2_effects_desc}
-1 Influence


there is no difference in their effect, -1 influence, so either there is no need for all 3, but it looks like the effect should be successively worse, ie auditor at -1, Quaestor at -2 or more and then Rationales Summarum at more than that.

Point2.

I came across this:

{m_tullius_cicero} M.Tullius Cicero

{m_tullius_cicero_desc}
Philosopher, Orator and Rhetor. Marcus Tullius Cicero's main abilities are his powers of persuasion and political nous. He thinks himself a protector of liberty and of Rome. He believes you may help save Rome from the "Populares".

{m_tullius_cicero_effects_desc}
+3 Influence

Perhaps he could be used as a trigger for a rebellion given his linkage directly to the Optimates? Just a random thought.

[Smokey Bacon]

Is this the stuff you wanted me to help proof read Tone? If it is can someone tell me which parts still need checking?

[tone]

Yes it is.

[moonmonkey]

For SmokeyBacon,

There are 5 files for checking,

ybbon66 started from the front and has done/is doing 'campaign_descriptions' and now it looks like he is working on 'export_ancillaries'

I have done 'export_VnVs' and now I'm working on 'export_units'

So that means 1 file is left

'export_buildings'

This file is absolutely huge, bigger than the other 4 combined, so I recommend you start on that one, and then maybe me or ybbon66 could help out because it's got so much info to check.

Thanks

[Ybbon]

I'm doing export_ancillaries as it's used more, I'll go back to campaign_descriptions after as that will need the descriptions reducing to about 85 words per description.

[moonmonkey]

Hi,

Here is the finished 'export_VnVs' file which I have called 'export_VnVs_edited'

I have also included 'list of changes made to VnVs file'

So that everyone can clearly see what was changed, (and can be easily found if it needs editing again)

In that file there is the original, then my edit, then the final version.

In most cases it was just minor changes to spelling or just clarifying the sentence.

I also changed all the American English (honor, organizing) to the British English (honour, organising) and stuff like that, they are not included in the 'list of changes file'

I didn't try to rewrite sentences, I thought if it ain't broke don't try to fix it.

So just when there was a clear error I changed it.

Thanks

[tone]

Thanks!

Just one thing I'd change....

{Natural_Born_Leader_desc}
This man was born with a talent for leading men into battle. He understands the uses of infantry and cavalry as if it were second nature; he can sense danger and a battle turning sour; and he knows what to do and what to do it with.

BTW, dunon means town or settlement in Celtic - hence Camulodunon, etc in the place names....if you could change that one back that would be great.