High School keeps rearing its ugly head

[RazorOutlaw]

High School, it's the most important four years of our life. Or at least, one of the most significant. We develop friendships that will sometimes extend beyond our High School years, relationships that are a bit more than holding hands or kissing (although I won't ignore that elementary school relationships can go even beyond that). Eventually we come back for reunions to see whose married, single, or even dead. Maybe we'll even get a chance to settle old scores.

And in going with those aspects of High School, there's always the burning questions "Hey, whatever happened to X?" Or perhaps you run into an old High School classmate: "Hey man, what have you been up to?"

I know, it's happened more than once with me. I'm always curious to find out how the people I barely knew in High School are doing. There are exceptions of course, I do know a few people and I could be in contact with them more frequently....but anyway that's all really off topic.

If there's one part from the High School experience I could do without though it's the "whose gay now?" part. More so than what occupation former classmates have landed in, more so than who they are currently dating, what college they go to (or failed out of), the "who came out of the closet" has got to be the saddest of the bunch. I've noticed that it bugs me...

For instance, one girl I've been friends with since Freshman year became openly gay after she graduated. I suppose I would have been surprised, but the snide remarks and whisperings that went on during High School tipped me off well enough. What bothered me, however, was that once I met her at my community college, she slipped up that she was gay, and was embarassed! She laughed, turned away, and buried her face into the shoulder of a friend standing next to her. I forget what question I had asked exactly that made her think I was asking about her big secret, but clearly her orientation was supposed to be a secret to some and not to others.

A question flashed through my mind. "Why do you give that big of a ****?"

I didn't give a ****. I wanted to say that to her, but I decided to just correct her by ignoring her slip up. "No, no," I said," that's not what I'm asking."

Regardless, she scooted away quickly with her new friend (a male, for those of you who are wondering) mumbling something about us getting together next week. Well, I almost took her seriously and perchance I had been walking through that part of the campus again the next week and she was nowhere to be seen. I should have known better, it was just a mumble of embarassment.

Listen, she gave me her AIM, I checked her profile for her Myspace site. Her orientation is listed as gay, a public announcement to say the least. What? Did she think I wouldn't check? I even messaged her once or twice just to talk, but those messages were ignored.

Anyway, that wasn't the only instance of overreaction to someone's orientation. There was another guy in my class who everyone pretty much figured was gay. He is a flamboyant character, to say the least, so it certainly didn't seem like very much of mystery to me. But everybody seemed to care about the fact that he denied his orientation.

A few weeks ago someone said, "Hey, did you know about Jason?"

"What, that he's gay?" I muttered. Again, I didn't care.

"Yeah! He came out after High School." Apparently during a party at some beach that I didn't bother to go to, but I had heard that story before. The person reiterated that he was gay and (this was news to me) danced for money at a gay club. Well **** me sideways, who woulda thunk?

I'm not sure if I rolled my eyes or not, but the conversation about ended right there on that subject.

The topic of someone's sexual orientation will never be one that can very much interest me. What does interest me, however, is why some people feel a need to discriminate against someone's sexual orientation. Isn't life too short and full of misery to ridicule these unimportant aspects about someone's character?

I realize that the European (and possibly Canadian) members of this board will most likely agree with me, but I'm also curious about what my fellow Americans would have to say on the subject.

[Darth Wong]

High School, it's the most important four years of our life. Or at least, one of the most significant. We develop friendships that will sometimes extend beyond our High School years, relationships that are a bit more than holding hands or kissing (although I won't ignore that elementary school relationships can go even beyond that). Eventually we come back for reunions to see whose married, single, or even dead. Maybe we'll even get a chance to settle old scores.

Actually, most of my university friends felt that high-school was a big waste of time, best forgotten. The people who spend the rest of their lives looking back fondly on high-school are usually the people for whom things started to go south immediately afterwards.

For instance, one girl I've been friends with since Freshman year became openly gay after she graduated. I suppose I would have been surprised, but the snide remarks and whisperings that went on during High School tipped me off well enough. What bothered me, however, was that once I met her at my community college, she slipped up that she was gay, and was embarassed! She laughed, turned away, and buried her face into the shoulder of a friend standing next to her. I forget what question I had asked exactly that made her think I was asking about her big secret, but clearly her orientation was supposed to be a secret to some and not to others.

A question flashed through my mind. "Why do you give that big of a ****?"

Probably because people have given her grief over it. Teenaged homosexuals have a high suicide rate because of all the shunning and condemnation; that kind of pressure is bound to have an effect on peoples' behaviour.

Listen, she gave me her AIM, I checked her profile for her Myspace site. Her orientation is listed as gay, a public announcement to say the least. What? Did she think I wouldn't check? I even messaged her once or twice just to talk, but those messages were ignored.

A lot of people will reveal things on blogs that they wouldn't say face-to-face. I'm sure some sociologist has already written a long-winded thesis on why this is the case.

The topic of someone's sexual orientation will never be one that can very much interest me. What does interest me, however, is why some people feel a need to discriminate against someone's sexual orientation. Isn't life too short and full of misery to ridicule these unimportant aspects about someone's character?

To homophobes, it is not an unimportant aspect of someone's personality. Homophobes believe that homosexuals are all a bunch of pedophiles and that they can somehow seduce you to the Gay Side of the Force. That's why they feel it's so important to keep gays marginalized and to fight what they call the "normalization" of homosexuality in society. That's why they get so angry when children are "exposed" to literature or entertainment media which portrays homosexuality as acceptable; they think this will make it easier for kids to be seduced by the Gay Side of the Force.

[RazorOutlaw]

Actually, most of my university friends felt that high-school was a big waste of time, best forgotten. The people who spend the rest of their lives looking back fondly on high-school are usually the people for whom things started to go south immediately afterwards.

I suppose. There were some things I liked about High School, and it wasn't the ease of the academics compared to a College level. I liked it because the people I met there pushed me a few steps forward out of my shell. With that said I also look back on it as a bunch of missed opportunities to involve myself with something other than myself. I also disliked the restrictive Catholic-oriented atmosphere. It was only until I got into College that I began to feel free from all of the rules and restrictions they placed on us.

Probably because people have given her grief over it. Teenaged homosexuals have a high suicide rate because of all the shunning and condemnation; that kind of pressure is bound to have an effect on peoples' behaviour.

I'm sure people have given her grief. I don't doubt that at all. But I'm her friend...or I thought I was anyway. At the time I didn't understand why she had to be embarassed around me, but looking back I realize that it's probably because we had grown apart over the last year.

A lot of people will reveal things on blogs that they wouldn't say face-to-face. I'm sure some sociologist has already written a long-winded thesis on why this is the case.

That's true, I originally wrote the first post as a blog because the encounter got the wheels turning in my head. Some of what I say surely makes me look like I was absolutely bewildered (looking back, the exclamation that she was embarassed looks...well...by far more naive than I really am) but the audience in question was people who knew me but not of my views. I don't talk much about politics, ethics, or religion but thanks to you I became more interested in the last two. At least interested enough to run into a more intellectual forum with all of the questions and ideas that have been discussed thousands of times before but have gone on for years without a thought by me. My mistake for not adapting my former blog post at all for this crowd.

Not that it matters much, but as an aside the Myspace website allows you to list some facts about yourself at the bottom which include occupation, salary, whether you're a smoker/drinker, orientation. etc. See, it just didn't add up that she'd be as embarassed as she was if she listed her orientation publicly. I guess she really did think I wouldn't check.

To homophobes, it is not an unimportant aspect of someone's personality. Homophobes believe that homosexuals are all a bunch of pedophiles and that they can somehow seduce you to the Gay Side of the Force. That's why they feel it's so important to keep gays marginalized and to fight what they call the "normalization" of homosexuality in society. That's why they get so angry when children are "exposed" to literature or entertainment media which portrays homosexuality as acceptable; they think this will make it easier for kids to be seduced by the Gay Side of the Force.

I'm going to have to agree and make note of the fact that I asked a really stupid question.

[Cluny the Scourge]

You're too reasonable, Razor. It's creepy. When people point out that I'm wrong I sneer at them viciously and pretend I think they're pseudo-intellectual drug-addicts.

[Pallida Mors]

but I'm also curious about what my fellow Americans would have to say on the subject.

I skipped my last class reunion and hung out with the only people I still talk too. We had the anti-class reunion in my friends garage. I was surprised when people who went to the reunion showed. It was more fun the the 'real' so I'm told. I bought alot of Jager, red bull, and the rest of my bar and threw a party, listened to Butch walker and got crazy lit.

One of my good friends after high school recently came out. I glad for him, we used to sit a his house all day a play FFX or Suikoden II on PS2 and talk about life in between classes. I havent seen him in a couple of years but his sister tells me he finally moved out of his folks house and has a serious boyfriend. I was very happy for him.