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Thread: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

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    Default The Critic's Quill: Issue 28


    The Editor Speaks
    Hello and welcome to Issue 28 of the Quill.

    This is a very special issue because it serves as witness to the creation of a new legend! Just a month ago, mild-mannered m_1512 was a slow steady contributor to TWC. But then in July something must have happened to him. My personal theory is that he is now being remotely-controlled by an alien master-race bent upon world-domination; but my wife says I am soft in the head and I should cut down on the cheap vodka.

    Anyway, whatever the explanation, a new star is arisen in the Critic's Quill firmament. In an extraordinary burst of creativity, "m" (as he now wishes to be known) has written ten pieces (!) for this issue (I get dizzy just thinking about it). That we may worship him more effectively, "m" has been kind enough to provide us with a self-portrait. All praise the mighty m


    In all this month we have ten reviews, five articles, two news sections and an interview; indeed the issue is so large I may have to call for volunteers to help prevent nervous readers from becoming lost.

    Although no BAARCs
    (the monthly Battle Report competition) have been concluded since last time, I can reveal that BAARC II has just moved into the voting phase. Please go there to admire the work on display, and don't forget to cast your vote.

    Why not take a punt yourself and enter BAARC III, it is now taking submissions.

    So, make yourself comfortable with a calming beverage at your side and embark on a journey of discovery. There is a lot of writing talent at TWC, and I hope that our reviews will reveal some of it to you.

    Juvenal (Editor)

    Table of Contents


    Monthly AAR Competition Section

    MAARC XXVIII
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Worthy of an epic commentary merely to describe the competition itself, let alone the profound depths of the actual entries, I am pleased to report that MAARC XXVIII is concluded. Rather than inflict my own pedestrian prose upon you, here is Radzeer's winner's announcement.
    Quote Originally Posted by Radzeer
    Congratulations to our winners!

    In what was probably the longest polling period in MAARC history featuring three iterations (one, two and three), we finally have the winners!

    The Golden Age of the Dutch arrived a few hundred years sooner than in history. It was not the Dutch of course, but the Flemish or the Graafschap Vlaanderen (in DLV-appropriate language). Posantio of Umbria's excellent multilingual story (Gent en Brugge Tales, the History of Graafschap Vlaanderen) about the friendly nation's struggle for independence (or domination) against the neighboring superpowers secured the first place for MAAARC XXVIII.

    A couple of hundred miles to the northwest, another small nation achieved notable fame. The second place goes to wowbanger and his tale: Saoirse – The Irish Fight for Freedom. The fight was so successful that the sneaky Normans' last resort was to wreck the author's computer before their ultimate defeat. While the luck of the Irish could not hold, it remains a tale to remember!

    A few days short of its one year anniversary, Hail Caesar!, a masterfully crafted biography of an Italian general by Tim1988 ended up in the third place. Follow the exceptional career of Amadeo Vasari in Italy, France, Morocco and Britain, demonstrating that both the author and the protagonist are men with grand vision! And the title is not misplaced either.

    Finally, congratulations to everybody who submitted AARs and worked very hard to write up these stories! Thank you all who voted, and hopefully we're looking for another round of great AARs in the next month (coming soon)
    If you are going to view any AARs this month, you could certainly do worse than read the MAARC winners. But in the mean-time voting has now begun on MAARC XXIX, so please help to support the competition by following this link to cast your vote.

    Coverage by Juvenal




    Tale of the Week Section

    Tale of the Week: June/July News
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Greetings readers, wowbanger here and may I welcome you to this issue's Tale of the Week coverage. Writing this report is really a job that I hoped I wouldn't have to do. Ideally it should be Mega Tortas de Bodemloze here, but unfortunately he has been missing since the 16th of June and in his absence it has fallen to me to provide the round up of the recent occurrences in the Tale of the Week forums. We have been lucky enough to have been blessed with two wonderful shop keepers Radzeer and Skantarios who have kept everything running smoothly while Mega is away.

    So then let me invite to drop in for a look at some of our fun and games, who knows you may be inspired to throw down a tale yourself:

    TotW 117a: "Into the Breach"
    VOTE - TotW 116a: "My Best Day"

    TotW Winners Story Archive
    THE TALE PROJECT: Writer Story Gallery listing
    TotW Story Index

    And so let us without further ado move onto the main event, the round up of the winning tales and my own little critiques.

    TotW 111a - "The Last Stand"
    In a very close contest that required a second round of voting to decide the outcome, my Swiss Guards proved why they were once regarded as the finest soldiers in Europe as they made their last stand and came out victorious.
    Winning Picture

    Winning Story
    The Stand of the Swiss

    “Here we stand. Rome may have fallen, but your duty remains clear. While ever His Holiness Pope Clement remains in danger it is your honour bound task to defend with your lives. Now you are called upon to fulfil that duty and so I call on you, the finest soldiers in all Europe, to make your stand. Here we shall stand and here we shall fight and here we shall die if God so wills it. Such a fight we shall make that it will be remembered throughout history. Now go and do your duty.”

    Those were the words that Captain Röist delivered to the 200 Swiss Guardsmen assembled in front of St. Peter’s Basilica that fateful day. Already bloodied, these men, arrayed in their gaudy uniforms and all wielding vicious halberds, were all that now stood between His Holiness and the armies of the ‘Holy’ Roman Emperor. The rest of Rome’s forces, some 5000 militia and 300 more Swiss, either lay dead or dying upon the city streets, stood guarding the last defences, the fortress of Castel Sant'Angelo, or else had betrayed the city, His Holiness and their honour by fleeing from their foes in a cowardly effort to save their own lives.

    Once Captain Röist had finished his short speech, the small company of Guardsmen took up their positions in the square. Each and every man assembled there ready to sacrifice their lives in order to give the Pope time to escape to the fortress of Castel Sant'Angelo and so avoid capture and humiliation at the hands of these enemies of God.

    They didn’t have long to wait before hundreds of Spanish soldiers began to pour out the streets opening onto the square. These Spaniards charged into the guardsmen, who began swinging away with their halberds. These great weapons caused grievous harm to the attacking Spaniards; hacking off limbs, splitting skulls and leaving gruesome wounds upon all they touched and causing the cobbled streets to run with blood. The ferocity of the defenders for a moment checked the Spanish attack, giving both sides time to catch their breath.

    The respite didn’t last long though. The Spanish soon regrouped and attacked again with renewed vigour. Gradually, the sheer weight of numbers began to tell as one by one the Guardsmen were cut down. Inch by painful inch they were pushed back. Captain Röist fell, a sword embedded in his chest while his blood mingled with that of those he slain. Despite all this they still fought on.

    They fought on until scarcely 2 score bloodied and wounded men were all that remained, standing upon the very steps of the Basilica. There they readied themselves for the final assault that would surely overwhelm them all, as looked out over the devastation caused upon the cobbled square. Mangled bodies lay all around, blood ran in rivers across the cobbles and the wounded and dying cried out in pain or prayed for someone to end their suffering. There, upon the very steps of Christendom, those final few readied themselves for one last stand that would go down in history; The Stand of the Swiss.


    Wowbanger's Review of Submission 6 And we start this month's reviews with an exciting battle scene written by m_1512. Though this tale was a little longer than I normally like to see in TotW, the extra length enabled writer to develop the story further. All in all, a very good first attempt and its good to see this writer become a regular on the TotW scene.


    TotW 112a - "The Man Who Would Be King"
    In a contest dedicated to the Kingship Katsumoto came out and proved that he was the "man who should be king."
    Winning Story
    It is a strange thing, being a king.

    Power corrupts, they say. I have seen it happen. My father, once a noble and kind man, fell to this disease, this sickness of strength. It enveloped him, robbed him of all reason and decency - men were killed merely because they were thought to have spoken negatively of my father. Fear spread like fire through the kingdom. That fear, driven by desperation, eventually turned to courage and rebellion. The people could not take it anymore - they took up arms against my father and his followers - years of war followed as my father struggled to retain his throne, but the people were too many, too tired of his rule. The rebels destroyed his forces, captured his loyal centres, and finally him took from his great castle, his throne, and hung up him in the courtyard, his neck snapping like a twig as they hurled him from the gate house. I watched it all from my upper window before my mother took me away, away from these rebels who sought to kill me also.

    We spent a decade living in remote villages and settlements. My mother, once a beautiful and proud woman, became a farmer’s wife - he was blind but kind, and loved my mother dearly. Every night I listened to how great my father, the king, had been, and how much joy he had brought to her. She would weep, and I would lay.

    When I finally came of age, I would reclaim the kingdom from these spineless rebels, who had dragged my poor father from his home and murdered him without trial or justice. They would be made to pay.

    I raised an army of peasants, who eventually became disciplined men-at-arms. I had studied military strategy since as soon as I could grasp it, and through a series of brilliant maneuvers and strategies, I managed to defeat the rebels. I took revenge on all those who had wronged my father - villages were razed, populations butchered. No mercy was given.

    I reclaimed the throne. For my father; for my mother. However, my mother passed shortly after my ascension. I ruled with an iron fist for years, determined that no man would rise against me, to pull me from my throne as my father had been. No, such a fate would never befall me.

    The people grew restless. Nothing could be done to halt them - they rebelled, like they had against my father. I fought them, with the help of my dear friend, who provided me with many victories. The rebels were on the brink of destruction. However, my dear friend would soon become my greatest enemy. He joined the rebels in their cause, and rose against me. My forces were massacred. I retreated to my capital, to my castle, the very same my father had retreated to all those years ago.

    Now here I sit, on my throne, grasping my father’s blade, the very same that he had held when they came for him. I hear them now, clashing with my guards, my noble and loyal guards, who would defend me to the last man. A final outcry and the clash is over. The door is broken open. My time has come.

    It is a strange thing, being a king.


    Wowbanger's Review of Submission 7 And so we move from a newcomer onto a TotW veteran with this deeply personal entry from Mega Tortas. This tale once again shows us Mega's incredible skill at pouring raw emotion onto paper and crafting a stunning tale out of it.


    TotW 113a - "The Fruits of Success"
    In a week where even my new puppy made an appearance it was Asterix who emerged victorious to enjoy the "fruits of success" for the first time.
    Winning Story
    The sick-sweet smell of burning flesh fills the smoky air. In front of me lies the burning ruin of the city I grew up in, razed to the ground and set ablaze. I give the order to sow the fields with salt, so this place will never again be able to insolently challenge a man’s destiny.
    I see a line of thousands of mothers and children, stretching for miles from the city center to a point far off in the distance. All are weeping, their cries reaching to the very heavens. They are headed for the slave markets, or the gallows, I forget which. One girl, barely a toddler, asks where her father is. He is dead. Like all the others.
    I almost feel sorry for what had to happen. I loved this city; a river ran through it, and the palace I grew up in straddled it. I would swim in it as a child, without a care in the world, unaware of the plots and conspiracies set against me even as I grew in my mother’s womb. I was raised a prince, swaddled in the finest silk, given the best food, adorned in the finest jewels. I was to be king, they said. The greatest in the world, the richest, the most powerful, the most handsome.
    But they betrayed me. The day I was to be king, the day I came of age, what should have been the greatest moment of my young life, they betrayed me. I was kicked out of the city, out of the country, with only my clothes and an empty title to my name.
    For years I struggled for survival, hunting, foraging, begging if need be, me, the future ruler of the greatest kingdom the world has ever known. Slowly I gained strength.
    I plotted my revenge, gathering to my banner those who hated the regime, people who would have hated me had I not been robbed. Those who betrayed me thought I was dead-how could a prince who had never even been a day out of doors possibly survive so much time in the real world? So they scoffed.
    But then I revealed myself. Thousands instantly flocked to me, old friends, malcontents, outlaws, eager to help me take down the usurpers, those hated liars who took away my birthright. Still the traitors scoffed, laughing. Look at him, they would say, He is nothing but a spoiled, whiny little brat! He cannot possibly defeat us, the commanders of the finest army on Earth!
    But I did. Ruthlessly. Furiously. Brilliantly. Without a trace of mercy. Those that did not swear allegiance to me, be they rich or poor, powerful or weak, were killed. Those that did were spared and promised rewards, and they got them. A share of the spoils in the sack of a city, their women, their land. Power, even. A place in my inner circle.
    I fought dozens of battles, dozens of campaigns, over a dozen years. All victories. Every city that refused to capitulate to their rightful king was completely, utterly destroyed. Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, were killed. Many who were loyal to me were disgusted by the violence. They were killed, too.
    The traitors fled further away every time I beat them. They kept slipping from my grasp, just barely, many times, infuriating me. Finally I cornered them in the city, the city I was once so fond of. I would not let them escape again. After the city was assaulted and taken, I rode to where they were held, in the city center, cowering under my wrath.
    There they were-the traitors. I had waited almost my entire life for this moment. There were many there, but i singled out the one i hated the most. He who sat on the throne that was mine. Finally, at long last....
    I looked into the eyes of my brother for the first time in decades. I saw a terrible cocktail of emotions inside; hatred, fear, pain, rage. But that was not all. Deep, deep in his eyes there was something he was trying to hide. I recognized it as love.
    He begs me for forgiveness. He says it was not him who betrayed me, but his mother, my stepmother, who could not bear the thought of me on the throne and her son as my servant. I know it is true; he was only a boy when he was forced upon the throne. It was not his fault.
    But I did not care. He robbed me of what was mine, the throne. My stepmother had died just a few days earlier of a weak heart. If she had lived another few days, my brother may have lived. I would have killed her and have been satisfied with the revenge. However, her death had robbed me of that. So my brother would replace her.
    I swung the sword, and my brother’s head rolled on the ground. We had loved each other once, as much as brothers can. We were the best of friends, inseparable. I gazed into his blank eyes and remembered those times, when I was happy. I nearly shed a tear. Then I remembered the suffering that I had to go through, the pain i endured, the sheer hatred I had nurtured for so long. The tear went away. There were other people there, too. I recognized some old friends, family, an old nanny, people I once loved. All were traitors. All died.
    All this I remember as I sit on a hill overlooking the city. I had succeeded in my revenge. Everyone who betrayed me was gone. No one remained. I was now the one and only king. But in the process, what I had been fighting for, my birthright, my inheritance, my throne, was destroyed. The entire empire was laid waste. Little remained. It still stretched across the world, but it was devastated. The finest cities on earth had been wiped off the earth. But that was nothing. What did land matter?
    What did matter was that every person I had ever loved was now dead. A girl I once romanced when I was a prince, killed as she tried to defend me the day I was exiled. Another girl, killed by an assassin working for the traitors. Many other women who I loved or thought I loved, cruelly robbed by fate or a cold metal blade. My old friends, some from childhood, some later, killed in battle or by me. And my family. My entire family. All of them now dead. Most from my blade.
    Years of suppressed pain, guilt, fear, and agony well up inside me. For decades I had thought myself immune to all emotions but hatred and determination. But all the others, so long kept silent, roar to life. I weep, deeply and painfully. For hours nothing but black guilt and fear and anguish and other alien things I despised in other, weaker men. When I rise, I see what I had done for the first time. What evil I had committed! What horrors! Thousands had been killed, and millions more had no hope of a happy life because of me. All in the name of revenge, my revenge, my birthright, my victory.
    I now had all of that, but at what cost?
    Sometimes, the fruits of success are bittersweet.


    Wowbanger's Review of Submission 5 It was a tale of betrayal and revenge that left Asterix sampling the bittersweet fruits of success. A very well written story that combines a well developed plotline and some wonderful writing to create a worthy winner.


    TotW 114a - "Sacrifice"
    TotW 114a was a time for reflection as 'Gunny showed us all again how good a writer he is as he remembered those men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice in Vietnam.
    Winning Picture

    Winning Story
    The Wall, Oh The Wall. What volumes of wasted potential lie etched in your polished black granite? What 58,000 lost futures now stare back at me? What glorious futures once awaited these men? What multitude of children would have been born of these men? Future doctors and lawyers, now nothing more than a glint in a dead man's eye. As I stare at the names, they stare back at me. Like an ominous reminder of their sacrifice, I see my reflection over the names of men. Men I did not know, men who are now no more than a name. David Littlefield, Vinnie Sciaretti, James Malloy... Brothers in arms that have gone to their final resting places. I stare at the names, at the little flags and pictures that grace the base of the wall, at the vets weeping over their fallen comrades, the men who didn't make it back. You can see it in their eyes, they are wondering one thing Why did I make it? Why didn't George come home? At the same time, nieces, sisters, and even daughters weep over their loved ones, the ones who went off to war but didn't come back. I can see their faces as they recall their last moments with the fallen heroes. Some hold back tears, others drown in them. However, I cannot hold back my contempt of the children. "James James James James, wow alot of James' died that day" as they shrug and continue walking, playing with whatever electronic device in their hands. Shouts of "Well that's a silly name" gets my blood boiling. But I remember something... They are children. Perhaps someday they will realize the sacrifice given by these men. They sacrificed their futures, their families, and their lives. They left it all and didn't come back to it. Perhaps they will soon see the wall as more than names, for it is not just a tally board; it is a monument to their sacrifice.


    Wowbanger's Review of Submission 6 I enjoyed reading this little tale by esaciar. I particularly liked the poem that the writer opened it with. Having attempted poetry at various times I know how tricky it can be to write it well and so for that I congratulate esaciar.


    TotW 115a - "The Silent City"
    July 20th proved to be a double celebration for Audacia as he won TotW 115a on his birthday with this tale destruction.
    Winning Story
    A dark mist settles over the the city, thick and full of ash. The sun looms over the sea, deep red and eerie, just before it sets. The Mediterranean waves fall slightly upon the shore, and a blanket of silence suffocates the coast. It had all happened so fast, without warning, and had come down upon the city within moments. Terror swept through the streets and alleys, people cried out in pain and agony at their impending doom. Death descended down the mountain, and struck those with decisive force and precision. The city had once stood as a symbol of splendor and power, a prosperous monument to culture and achievement. Its streets had once been bustling with vendors selling their wares and eager consumers haggling for the best price. People coming to and fro, here then there, going about their simple business.

    Empty. Life, it seemed, had been erased in an instance. Not a sound can be heard. The dark mist falls upon the homes of both rich and poor, fortunate and unfortunate, that of the citizen and slave. None were spared. Death had been satisfied of its greed and hunger.

    A trace of life. A reminder of the energy that had once occupied such an exorbitant place. The caste of a child, white and brittle, lies underneath the shade of a balcony. Its shape resembles a child overwhelmed with fear, cowering from Death, shielding himself from annihilation with his arms. The child cries for his mother, tears pour from his deep blue eyes. People running, screaming, he runs beneath the balcony. He hides, waiting, and in a few moments, nothing. A thick blackness overcomes him. Death takes another victim.

    Vesuvius looks over the city of Pompeii, smiling. His anger has been unleashed, his victims have perished. He can now rest, his terror has been unleashed. Exhausted, he waits, knowing he is an ever present reminder of the terror and wrath of the natural world. He observes the silent city, and smiles once more.


    Wowbanger's Review of Submission 8 And we end this edition's round-up of the main event with a word or two about this little tale about a lost city written by Stilicone. Though a nice tale, I felt it was lacking something in the plot that would have won it the few more votes that would have scene it really challenging for the win.


    Duels and Challenges
    As well as the main TotW competition there has also been an upsurge in Duels and Challenges recently. Currently there is one battle ongoing in the Duelling forum, between myself and m_1512, as well a number of other challenges being issued in the Challenges thread.
    We have also recently seen the conclusion of the long and drawn out duel between E.K and myself. To avoid any bias in our coverage m_1512 has kindly volunteered to write it for us.
    m_1512's Coverage of the Dual Bringing to you the Challenge between the gentlemen, wowbanger and E.K.

    The picture as a good one, with decent scope for writing. And at the end, the winner emerged with a narrow vote, just 2 points ahead.

    The title of wowbanger's story, Negotiations. It focus on a surprise attack after a battle. Not a exactly encouragement for being honorable and generous, but also highlights an old saying,
    "All is fair in Love and War."

    E.K's story is about a commander's folly. This story centers on a commander's one wrong decision and its consequence. The consequence is being caught unawares, every leader's worst nightmare.

    The challenge saw E.K emerge victorious with this story. Please visit here for the epic clash.
    Picture

    Winning Story
    Fatal Mistake

    We stood together in a line that seemed to stretch on forever. Nothing could stop us, we were victorious. The enemy lay dead at our feet, slain by our razor sharp spears. The battlefield once sounded the harsh cry of battle but now there is nothing but the groans of the dying enemy. The men of the company looked around warily, was that all they had? Surely a victory wouldn’t be so easily won?

    “Sir can we loot the bodies?” another man in the line who was staring at a beautifully carved sword that lay next to a fallen Mamluk asked to the commander.
    “I don’t see why not” the commander replied “Break Ranks!”

    Nobody moved, we just looked warily at each other unsure whether to leave the safety of the spear wall.

    The commander stared unbelieving at our hesitation “What is this! Are you scared? How could you be scared of these heathen bastards!” The commander yelled, his voice raising to a pitch that made even the stronger men in our company flinch.

    Across the arid sand dunes, out of sight from the crusaders the Mamluk commander smiled and turned to his companion and uttered one word “Ready?” Smiling his companion looked back to check the rest of the men were all ready. “Ready” he replied. The Mamluk commander raked back on his spurs and with a majestic sweep of his hand he set the charge rolling.

    Our initial fears were dispelled by ourcommanders words and we all streamed from the spear wall. We tore at the pockets of the dead, taking whatever wecould carry. Something didn’t seem right, however, and in our jubilation and pre-occupation in the disorganised looting didn’t notice the dark figures of the Mamluk cavalry appear on the horizon until it was too late.

    The Mamluk commander kicked harder at his spurs and his horse, a gift from the Sultan sped up ever so slightly and he drew his sabre, with its intricate carvings shone in the bright midday light. His companion was screaming “Allahu Akbar” repeatedly and the menacing war cry filled his fellow Mamluks with a deep pride and exultation for their work. They were doing god’s work.

    It was like a vicious storm, the hooves of the horses crashed like thunder as they approached. Some of us who were still holding a weapon made feeble attempts at defence but it was too late, there was nothing to do. Our commander looked aghast at the massacre that was happening around him and began to feel sick in the stomach. His men were dying all because he made one Fatal Mistake.


    I believe that that brings me to the end of my coverage here so all that remains for me to do is urge you all to visit our little forum, keep writing tales and most all enjoy reading the wonderful stories on show. This has been wowbanger reporting for the Critics Quill and join us next time when we'll have more news and events for you and hopeflly the return of Mega Tortas to liven up our day.

    Coverage by wowbanger




    AAR Review Section

    A Tale of Three Kings
    An Stainless Steel 6.4 AAR by Jambat
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    A tale of Three Kings, a good title, it conjures up emotions in your very imagination. And the author's very first AAR too.
    Welcome to my first ever AAR, a Very Hard SS 6.4 Late Era Long Campaign with the Eastern Roman Empire.
    The Plot
    The author in his first posts gives an idea of his AAR.There will be small snippets of over-arching story and plot, descriptions of important battles ranging from rebel bands, mercenary armies, to epic clashes between old and new foes alike. There will be breaks every quarter of a century to assess how the Empire and the world around them are shaping up. So from what I can deduce, a game-driven AAR.

    When you hear the phrase Eastern Roman Empire, you would think this is an AAR about restoration of its glory, you could not be more wrong. This game is about a New Empire.

    That's correct,
    The goal for this campaign is not to restore the old Roman Empire to it's former borders and glory, but to set up a newer, more powerful nation to rule for another thousand years. To pick oneself up from the ashes of an almost-failed superpower and expand westward, towards the future, and continue to write history.
    In other words, rise like a phoenix from the ashes and fly even higher. This does look good.

    As the name would suggest, the plot revolves around three kings, or rather three dynasties. The Doukas, The Vatatzes, and The Komnenos, all have a role to play.


    A good addition, it does get hopes up quite high. To add to it, there is also a map, explaining the situation.


    Each dynasty controls a disconnected remmant of the old Empire (western Greece, Western Anatolia and Northern Anatolia).

    The Critic
    The first thing that struck me here was the use of spoilers. There was a spoiler for everything. My advice to the author would be, it is actually better to limit the spoiler urge. Otherwise it does exactly as its name says, Spoil.

    The writing is good, but can improve over time. The overall plot and narrative could also do with some more effort. As for the characters. From the general outlook, the story revolves around the three dynasties. It must be a difficult balancing act to give each of the main characters fair coverage as the plot will often concentrate on just one or two of the factions.

    Now on to pictures. The pictures so far seems to be the cream of this AAR. They are sufficiently edited, neither too much nor too little. I particularly liked this one, wouldn't you agree?


    Quite a personality, isn't he?

    Errors and Typos
    There seem to be a fair number of typos (I counted eleven). While not a terrible crime, they may tend to alter or obscure the meaning of a sentence, so are best avoided.

    Good Points
    • Brilliant concept.
    • Good Pictures.

    Suggestions for the author
    • Don't let the plot become predictable.
    • Eliminate typos.
    • Use fewer spoilers.

    I believe an update is expected soon. My best wishes to the author, and his AAR.

    Review by m_1512


    A Generall Historie of the English Rebellion
    A For King or Country AAR by Maximinus Thrax
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    This is the AAR whose BAARC entry I have already reviewed. It has had the distinction of winning both the MAARC and BAARC competitions. Ever since that BAARC review, I have felt a compulsion to cover the AAR as well, so I must say, I am glad to have got the opportunity to do this review.

    There is something fascinating about this AAR, which is quite different in style compared to most others, possibly even unique. Why, even the title itself is distinctive and eye-catching.


    How many authors would have given thought to the details of English spelling at the time of the Civil War? This picture from the AAR goes a long way to creating immersion in the story, what with spelling, the alien-looking long-s (which has disappeared from modern English) and the circumlocutions of the phrasing.

    Story
    For ease of reading, the main body of the text uses modern spellings, although it tries to preserve something of the style and ornateness of the writing of the era.

    The story is from the perspective of a certain Sir William Cromford, 2nd Baron of Cromford in Derbyshire (1604-1670), a Colonel in the King's Army. In the preface, we get a real treat. The language and content is rich and picturesque, giving us a strong sense of place. The cream on that is the set of out-of-game pictures. Detailed and beautiful contemporary images of people and battles.

    The Critics
    The review guidelines say that if a sentence is good; quote it. If a picture is good, show it. In this case it was hard to select a good quote as there was so much to choose from. So, just to give you a flavour, here is a passage describing one of the events that helped provoke the onset of the Civil War.
    One year before my arrival from the mainland, a most outrageous act of disobedience took place in Edinburgh. One lass, going by the name of Jenny Geddes, having her mind in an unstable and perilous state, while listening to the minister's sermon in the St. Gilles' Cathedral, threw her stool and other objects at that defenseless priest, causing a major uproar in a short amount of time, both inside the holy place as well as outside. This was a clear sign that the Scots would not accept the Anglican Common Book of Prayer, recommended by our Most Excellent Majesty, Charles the First.
    As for the good pictures, I could make an album with them. Here is a gorgeous contemporary portrait of (what is purported to be) Sir William Cromford; black lacquered armour topped with a delicate lace collar after the fashion of the time.

    Here is an in-game picture, showing off some of the features of the mod (portraits, traits and trait descriptions).

    Now on to the main critics.

    There are many characters, each described with relish and accompanied by some telling characteristic, for example:
    "You mentioned the city of Portsmouth, earlier. Do we have a governor there, since it's a major foothold for us on these treacherous lands?"

    "Yes, the city is under the command of Lord George Goring, Sire.", nodded the Secretary.

    "Goring? Goring is more fit to command the inns in Portsmouth! I'm not sure wheter he has more alcohol rather than blood circulating through his veins, according to William Harvey's new theory. Nevermind that... Goring is an astute soldier even when drunk, I'm glad he's on our side, sir Edward." added the King, after which he took a moment to ponder upon these reports. "What about Cornwall? Who is in charge there? I gather it's still Sir Hopton..."
    The three most prominent characters are Sir William (the narrator), the King, and Cromwell. For those who have less familiarity with the Civil War, it would help to do some homework. I would have said this because I too come into the category. Nevertheless, despite my lack of knowledge on the subject, I can vouch that their characters are all well developed.

    The plot is engaging, with its unique ways; it compels you to read on. The narrative feels fresh and original. Quite like a trip to the colourful past. The presentation is excellent.

    The pictures are apt and support the text well. Indeed they give the text more depth by reminding the reader of the wider context in which the story sits.

    So, give yourself a treat (and an English lesson) and read this AAR, right now!

    Review by m_1512


    Revenge in the Clan Lands
    A Third Age Fan Fiction by wowbanger
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    As someone who enjoyed the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I am really pleased to have the opportunity to do this review. This does not seem to be a normal run-of-the-mill Third Age AAR with the standard cast of good guys (men and elves) and bad guys (orcs and uruk-hai). No; this is about Dunland, a faction not so well featured in the movies, but a refreshing change in the AAR section.

    So, the story takes you to Dunland, a land of quarreling tribes.
    The clans of Dunland knew little of peace.
    This is going to be an interesting tale. This situation is somewhat similar to the Mongols before Genghis Khan. While the Mongols were incited to fight amongst themselves by the neighboring Chin, here the nearby Kingdom of Rohan performs a similar funtion.

    At first glance, I had thought this story would be about the Dunland people becoming powerful through an alliance with Saruman. But I couldn't have been more mistaken. This story is in fact about the remaining clans who oppose the evil alliance. Now after this wonderful prologue, let us move on to the analysis.

    Critics
    In the first chapter, we are introduced to Kade, the young son of a warrior. His is among the last few clans opposing Saruman. The style of writing is excellent, the language used bringing a strong feeling of place. The plot going forward also looks promising: a young lad beaten down by fate, but perhaps destined to be a hero!

    After the introduction, we are kept firmly within the viewpoint of Kade. He is too young to go with his father to fight the Southern Clans (who are allied with Saruman), and so is left behind to help guard the village.

    It will not come as a surprise that the village is attacked, and the outcome of thirteen year old Kade's attempt to protect his sister forms the cliff-hanger at the and of Chapter 3.

    The writing so far is good (and the spelling also) with nothing awkward and no typos I could find. We certainly have no trouble identifying with Kade, and I would challenge anyone not to be concerned for his well-being after his act of heroism/foolhardiness during the raid in Chapter 3.

    As this is a fan-fiction, I don't imagine there is a TATW campaign game behind this story, and so won't be expecting many, if any, pictures. However the strength of the story-telling more than compensates for that. Perhaps as the story develops we might be treated to some portraits of important characters and a map or two.

    Having got this far I cannot wait to see the next chapter. I'm confident that wowbanger has an epic tale planned out and it is going to be a real privilege watching it play out.

    So readers, take the warning in the title with all seriousness... Prepare to be thrilled!

    Review by m_1512


    The Wilston Legacy
    An NTW AAR by warluster
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    In my many wanderings in the AAR section, I happened to find this one. What good fortune, I must add.

    This AAR is about the role of families in politics. Why, I had never even thought of such a topic. To be honest, this is certainly a novel topic, not to speak of its flexibility. That is its countless possibilities where the story can lead to. I had an idea. Rather than the usual structure of a review, let us enjoy all the good in this one. The critics can come at the end.

    It starts off with a foreword:
    The story of the Wilston family will be told through history books, memoirs, eyewitness accounts and recollections. This prestigious family was merely a part of the great war machine of Napoleonic-era Britain and will interweave their epic story with that of how the United Kingdom struggled and fought in the great war of the 19th century, which is where the AAR side of this story comes into play - the history of the UK involvement in the Napoleonic Wars goes hand-in-hand with the tale of the Wilston family.
    Admirable, isn't it? It is a story woven around history, indeed quite like Historical Fiction.

    The author (quite the first time I've seen this) has given credit to the mods he uses, and their creators.
    Credit where credit is due!
    I really admire such a sense of justice and fair play.

    So, this is how I see it.
    • Story of a British political family -> Interesting.
    • Set in the Napoleonic wars -> More Interesting.
    • War and Politics in the British Empire -> Very interesting indeed!

    The language is in the dense style of the XIXth Century. The discourse of the professor somehow brings to my mind the speaking style of Alan Rickman (Professor Snape in the Harry Potter movies, in case you are wondering).
    “'Let no worry concern man... as man does not concern worry..'”
    The story is about the Duke of Trenton, or rather about his family. These are the Wilston family, a clan that is known to be very ancient, their legacy going back to 1220 (which happens to be another important era of British history).
    The Wilston family has dominated British politics for centuries. And that's where we start – 1220.
    The first chapter covers the legacy of the family, in the manner of a history class. Which in itself speaks volumes about the well-developed plot. Second comes the characters. The author has (presumably through painstaking effort) planned and developed them in such a way that the plot literally pulls the reader along, demanding that you read all of it. The chapter is rounded-off with portraits of notable personalities through the ages, and something that I most enjoyed: A complete family-tree of the Wilstons.

    So much for the first chapter, the second takes you to the Napoleonic era. War rages on, as the French war machine moves steadily towards its goal of supremacy in Europe. The Pitt ministry has seized the tiller of the British government, while the rest of Europe either bows to the L'Empereur, or is crushed under his boot. Another triumph of a chapter, again complete with maps and superb pictures of this graphically-captivating game.

    But for such a great package, this AAR has so far been cruelly ignored with just 399 views and only a single reply from a fan! A travesty, don't you think?

    Now, as I promised in the beginning, The Criticism.

    Successes to Celebrate:
    • Great delivery of the story. I could not find anything that I could remotely term as drab or boring.
    • Better pictures. At the right place, in the right quantity, and appropriately edited.


    Room for Improvement:
    • The font in the second chapter quite small, the reading experience would be improved if it were slightly larger.
    • I found one or two spelling mistakes, the kind of typos that occur when typing fast, or perhaps when composing on the fly.
    • No updates since March. Your fans await it Sir.

    Please go and read this AAR and leave encouragement for the author. It is a story that deserves to be admired, and more importantly, continued.

    Review by m_1512


    Soli Deo Gloria- To God Alone
    An ETW AAR by Eugen von Savoyen
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Soli Deo Gloria. This latin phrase means "Glory to God alone". It is one of the five solas (phrases) propounded to summarize the beliefs of Protestants. It means Christians are to be motivated to work for God's glory, and not their own.

    This AAR's title bears a Protestant phrase. But behold, this is a story about 18th century France! An AAR of a Catholic State, but bearing a Protestant phrase as the title. Quite a surprise, no?

    The prologue starts with a scene where the King of France addresses his nobles. There is even quite poetic musings here.
    "What makes a country great?
    Is it a mighty army, disciplined and strong?
    Is it plentiful overseas possessions?
    Is it a noble people, more pure and holy than all other in the world?
    Or is it a dominant navy? Able to rule the waves and dust all others off with a light breath?
    Is it a sense of authority? Able to influence diplomacy and politics? Able to start and end wars at our own whim?
    Perhaps, it is honest Catholic piety, we are surrounded by Protestant tyrants and heretics yet we are staunchly affirmed in the faith.
    So tell me, people of France, what makes a country great? We have all this, are we not great?
    The story is moved on as a narrative by the King himself. The King's dream is to use all the resources of the realm to project the might of France, and carve out an Empire. A promising topic, I would definitely like to see where it goes.

    Critics
    As it is still in its initial stages, it is too early to come to a final judgement. But it is certainly a good piece so far, so let me summarize what I've noticed.
    • Good title and Prologue.
    • First chapter language is fairly good.
    • No title picture as of yet, though I'd recommend the above picture to the author. I found it on the net.
    • The pictures could with some editing, they are a bit too large.
    • A great job by the author in avoiding spelling and major grammatical errors. We definitely should have commendation for this.
    • A good story.

    I look forward to the continuation of this AAR. It is really nice to see more AARs coming in ETW and NTW, as the majority seem to be on Medieval 2.

    Review by m_1512


    Divine Reality
    A Europa Universalis III AAR by Bolkonsky
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    As the picture indictaes, this AAR's full title is Divine Reality, Rome Arisen. A Byzantine AAR. Now Europa Universalis 3 is one of my favorite games, and Divine Wind is its latest expansion. On top of that I have a particular fondness for Byzantine AARs.

    The narrative kicks off in 1409, voiced by an unidentified person whose ambition is to help reclaim the glories of antiquity for the Roman Empire. I first guessed that the narrator was a Patrician, but reading on, the mystery is revealed.
    An emperor I am not! More like a puppet! A tool! That will not be the case for my son, though!
    So, the protagonist is the Emperor himself! An Emperor struggling to secure his country, his seat, and a future for his son.

    My interest is now definitely picqued. In the comments, I notice one in particular, that this is the first AAR of Divine Wind. Not having Divine Wind myself I feel regret that I cannot make an AAR of my own, perhaps I should make do with what I have, an Heir to the Throne AAR maybe.

    Right, now on to the critics.

    Plot
    The plot is from the perspective of the Byzantine Emperor. It starts in 1409 when the might of the last Romans is dwindling. An Emperor, beset by the shortcomings of his nation, threatened by the enemy outside, and most troubling of all, in danger from the enemy within. A bunch of nobles, whose demands are increasing astronomically, against an Emperor already using all of his resources to ward off the external dangers.

    An interesting plot, I have not seen many like this before. Will there be a solution? None is yet apparent, but then every audience loves surprises, perhaps in chapters to come?

    Characters
    The most common thing that a reviewer would want to know is, how well developed are the characters? While asking such questions, I start to wonder, what exactly does "well-developed" actually mean?

    In this AAR, the main character is the narrator, the Emperor. He is certainly developed well enough. But there is another character, well two actually, who are not identified as specific persons. The first is the nobles, a group of greedy looters, whose demands and ambition constantly weakens their liege. The second is the enemy, constantly watching for weakness, waiting to make the fatal strike.

    One should consider a point, this game being different than TW, means a difference in AARs too.

    Presentation and Delivery
    I have grouped these two aspects as they are quite closely related. The presentation is fine, no major typos spoil the mood. But, I would definitely like to see more writing here, more than just event descriptions. The events are essential, I understand that, but more characterisation would be welcome.

    Pictures
    There are plenty of pictures. However, some could be avoided. It is not a necessity to show all, just enough to support the text would be sufficient.

    The second aspect is their large size. I always make it a point to edit and re-size my pictures. Large and un-edited pictures can sometimes kill the enjoyment of reading.

    Conclusion
    This AAR really has promise, with a little more attention to picture choice and characterisation it would be even better. I wish the Bolkonsky every success with his work, and I look forward to seeing how it all turns out.

    Review by m_1512


    The Rebirth of the Byzantine Empire
    A Stainless Steel 6.4 AAR by Alexander of Trapezus
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    An Introduction by the author.
    The years that Byzantine empire was a big power have pass.

    The crusaders, have captured Constantinople and several other important cities and on the east the turkish invaders have capture almost the whole anatolia and now the are a very big threat for the few remaining cities that are still in byzantine hands.The army of the empire is the shadow of the old glorious one who defeat the arabs and the persians and It is not sure that he can stop them,it is a very dangerous time.

    It is the time for the empire to choose between extintion and survival.
    This AAR is about the Byzantine Empire, its rebirth.

    Yes gentle readers, not rise, but rebirth! A complete change, and as management gurus put it, "Innovate, or Perish". You may wonder why I would review so many Byzantine AARs. Well, what can I say? Maybe I just cannot resist the beauty and grace of antiquity.

    Plot
    As of now, not many chapters have been written. The year is 1220 AD. The Byzantines are at a crisis. Their treasury is emptying, their army weakening, their enemies approaching. A bleak future, unless some dire steps taken.

    The story begins from the perspective of Basileus Theodorus, the governor of Nicaea. The story takes us through the attack on Nicaea, the plan for economic development of the empire and, when all these don't work, a resort to the age old Roman strategy: Prosperity, if not by the merchant, then by the sword.

    The last update follows this plan. The conquest of strategically important regions, a sure plan to prosperity. An important battle here is the conquest of Rhodes, wrestled right out of the hands of Venetians.

    Writing
    Right, we will go straight to it. Although this AAR is a new one, there are slight too many spelling and grammatical errors. But do not put it all on the author, for there is a reason. As the author himself mentions,
    I'm sorry about my bad english,I am greek.
    Well, we can certainly excuse that.

    The second thing noticeable is the style of writing. It seemed to me more event oriented than others. While nothing wrong with it, most of us old beans expect more. But I am sure this will change with time, as a first AAR is the first step, and hereafter will only go higher.

    Remedy: I can suggest a remedy for the spellings and grammar. I would recommend the author to use MS word or any other word processor, until he is comfortable with writing English language, as many would agree, speaking and writing English are two things that are quite different.

    Pictures
    The first thing I noticed about them -> Big and Numerous. Numerous, I don't mind them so much. But, I know many people who would frown it. Big, this could be a problem. large pictures make the reader scroll horizontally as they do not fit all on the screen. This would not be like by readers, as it puts a pause to the reading and could spoil the enjoyment.

    Remedy: It is simple. Editing the pictures presents a good impression. It highlights the effort taken by the author.
    For beginning, you could get GIMP 2, it is a free editing software. There, load the picture and scale the image to a width of between 600 and 800 pixels {preserving aspect ratio}. That should do the trick. With time you would get fluency with the software, you could experiment, and quite enjoy the tasks too.

    Conclusion
    This AAR is the striking proof that promising writers are continuing to join our esteemed forum.

    To Alexander of Trapezus (the author) - I did not review this AAR to point out the shortcomings or to bash it, I reviewed it because I see potential. I know when I see a promising AAR, and this is one such. My best wishes to you, please continue, I would very much like to see more updates. So, Good Luck and Keep Writing.

    And to you, dear readers, please visit this AAR (link), and give your support to such a promising writer.

    Review by m_1512


    The Righteous Kingdom
    An INVASIO BARBARORVM : SOMNIVM APOSTATAE IVLIANI AAR by BLIP99
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Introduction and a Brief Summary
    Blip99 has crafted an AAR centered around the rise of the Frankish Kingdom beginning in the 370s A.D. For the non-history buffs out there, this is the time period when the Western Roman Empire began breaking up and Europe as we know it was thrown into chaos. The weakness of the Romans allowed successive "barbarian" invasions to sweep across the Rhine and overrun much of Gaul/France, Hispania/Spain, and northern Africa. One of the most successful of these invading Germanic tribes was the Franks (as you can tell by France being a derivation of their name).

    The main character in this AAR is an ex-Roman named Valens Sutorius who has gone over to the Franks following his father's betrayal and murder by the corrupt Imperial government in Ravenna. After his father's death, he travels north out of Italy in the hopes of forging a place far away from the wicked influence of the court nobles in control of the Western Empire following the death of Emperor Valentinian. However, instead of forging his own empire, he is waylaid by the Franks and, amazingly, adopted into their court.

    Before I go any further and spoil more of this AAR, I will pause for a minute so that you can hear from the writer himself.
    Spoiler for Brief Interview with Blip99

    1) What made you decide to write your own AAR?
    I started to feel that whenever i started a new TW campaign, i would soon get bored of it really quickly, which was annoying. So then i started reading other AAR's, including my absolute favorites, the "Skantarios" duo, "Hail Caesar", and a couple of other RTW ones. I was inspired to say the least, and found that if I wrote about the game I was playing, I enjoyed it much more, and even more so if I only focused in on one character!

    2) Why did you decide to use this particular mod?
    I was trying to find a suitable mod to do the AAR on, I had a rough idea as to the storyline, but I couldnt find the right platform. Then came along the full release of IB: SAI, which i thought was awesome, and I had finally found the correct mod for the story.

    3) Why did you choose this particular faction and time period?
    I chose the dark ages because one, people havent written on it as much (not as cliche), and two, that I have a personal interest in the area (like, "how the hell did the Romans manage to stuff it up that bad!"). The franks have always been quite interesting in my opinion, and always seemed the least barbarous of the germans (at least in my mind). So, creating a new roman empire with a barbarian faction sounded quite cool to me, and here we have The Righteous Kingdom.

    Writing Style and Wording
    The AAR is written in the first person perspective through the eyes of the main character, Valens Sutorius. He is a self-exiled nobleman from the old Roman Empire and brings all the prejudices and narrow world view one would expect from a pampered Roman patrician. He obviously has a low opinion of the barbarian tribes (especially the Germans) and it shows. The language he uses is quite descriptive although he steers clear of some of the more "colorful" adjectives you might find in other works.

    I don't know whether Blip99 is a native English speaker or not. I would guess that he is because his sentence structure and wording are mostly quite good. However, he makes many simple mistakes in spelling, capitalization, and usage. For example, he often mistakes the proper usages of: to, too, and two. There are other mistakes like "loose a battle" when he should us "lose." These fairly common mistakes are just a few distracting examples of what holds the writing back from being excellent to just good (at the moment, at least).
    My life literally did change in that place, I became no longer Valens of the Sutorii, but Sigibert the Frank, only for i while i hoped though.
    The spelling and capitalization mistakes crop up often and are very easily correctable. I would encourage him to run his posts through a word processing program with an English spell check function in order to grab 90+% of the mistakes. The usage things are hit or miss with a spell/grammar check and will only come through good proofreads, edits, and the assistance of his readers.

    Most of his writing is lively and active. He writes a fair bit of dialogue and, on balance, it is done well. Dialogue is always difficult to write as you don't want it to sound forced nor do you want it to drag on beyond what is needed to advance the story. It can be quite valuable for the story and character development and is usually the best (and worst) part of any story.

    Images and Other Visual Aids
    Overall, I would rate the pictures used in this AAR as pretty good but not great. Most of this is a consequence of using a R:TW engine and the accompanying lower quality graphics. Really, it is impossible to compare the screen shots done in a seven year old program like R:TW to the high-def glory of a S2:TW AAR or even the lesser M2:TW versions. That said, what the author can control, he does well. The images are not too large or too small, are well cropped to focus on the action, and have all the user interface elements removed.
    Spoiler for Images from AAR






    As far as I can tell, he isn't doing any major enhancements to the images but that is certainly not a prerequisite to a good AAR. Advanced image manipulation can be extraordinarily time consuming and not for the faint of heart. What image enhancement I have seen was a bit of a mixed bag. There was one series of images that struck me as strange with a few screen shots that were completely out of focus or overly sharp.
    Spoiler for Out of Focus




    There was no explanation in the story for the wide variety of focuses he used so I am left to speculate that he might just be feeling his way through the beginning stages of photo editing. This is really quite a minor criticism, though, and most of his screen shots were good and appropriately used.

    One of the really nice things that the author has done is incorporate a lot of out-of-game images into his work. He uses these at the top of most posts and they make for a good stage-setter for the update to come. The use of non-TW images can be tricky as you don't want to remove the reader from the game completely nor do you want to detract from the other in-game images. Blip99 seems to have navigated these treacherous waters quite well and the images he does bring in lend a lot to overall feel of the AAR in a way that just using game content can't.
    Spoiler for Out of Game Images




    He also puts in a good effort in making composite trait cards for all his primary characters. These are more difficult to do than it sounds when you have to piece together up to five or six screen shots and do so in a way that makes them seem like a single capture. The author does it well and the results are impressive.
    Spoiler for Character Card

    The lower quality images from the game are nicely offset by the out-of-game images he uses. The shortcomings that follow from a R:TW AAR in this regard never become distracting and overall his use of the screenshots is good.

    Critique
    I really like how he has inserted a Roman character into a "barbarian" setting. Not sure how he did this with the game but it probably involved some tinkering with the campaign script. However he did it, I think it was a good choice.

    Blip99 has some decent character development although some areas are only lightly addressed. I would have liked to have seen more about Valens decision to go over to the Franks and what repercussions that had with his men and within himself. Although the decision was forced on him by circumstances, he seemed to embrace fighting for a foreign/barbarian empire very easily and hasn't looked back since. This might be my own personal preference but I would have liked to see more second-guessing about that decision and a bit more drama about it. He has addressed this a few times in various updates.
    I found it ironic these men pledged themselves to the Frankish nation so they could kill some Romans, when the man they said the oath to, and the men who they would fight beside, were also Romans! What a strange world we lived in back then.
    This conflict is an area rich in possibilities and I hope he will go back to it from time to time for both his main character and the other ex-Romans flocking to his banner.

    One way that the author does bring out his other characters is through the use of letters. These letters run the gamut from very colorful and fun to the decidedly curt (as befitting the character writing them). Using letters is a good technique when writing in the first person in order to bring out the motivations of others and add some color and exposition to the story.

    I do like some of his supporting characters like Vithimer (the Gaul) and Ursus (aka "the bear"). These ancillary characters are pretty well fleshed out although more work could be done in this regard. At the moment, the supporting cast is a bit light but I expect to see more brought in as the AAR continues.

    One thing that I found a little boring in the beginning was how easy the battles and strategic situation were. With the Western Roman Empire on the ropes, the Frankish Kingdom/Empire begins as a dominant force in their area. Their armies outsize and outclass any that they come across and Blip99 often fights battles at better than three-to-one odds in his favor. I'm not sure what game difficulty settings he is using but some of the outcomes just seem too easy.
    Spoiler for Example Battle Overview


    The victories come quickly and with little loss (many are obviously auto-resolved) and there is very little drama attached to them. It is only when he starts to fight a Vandal migration that any real strategic or tactical drama is found.

    Also, at a later point, there is a big conference to negotiate a peace settlement. This was something of a letdown for me as the end result seemed to be too easily done and the promised drama never materialized.

    All that said, he has some good stuff on the way that promises some real drama. I don't want to spoil things more than I already have but it looks like there is an honest to goodness Frankish Civil War on the horizon.

    Summary
    Overall, I think this is a solid AAR with many very good elements. The setting is excellent with the ever-changing political landscape and the promise of diverse conflicts. The main character is interesting and there are many directions the author can take him. The supporting cast is small at the moment but I expect that to expand as the AAR continues.

    Blip99 has a good thing going here and his updates show his continued growth as a writer. If he can build on the base he's established, stay focused on character development, clean up his typos and usage errors, and insert a little more suspense into the strategic setting, this AAR could be outstanding. His updates have fallen off a bit lately but I very much hope he will continue.

    Review by Skantarios


    A Light In The Darkness: Tales of the Bosporan Kings
    A Roma Surrectum 1,6 AAR by Ganbarenippon
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    It was the time when Rome was yet to become a dominant power. Pyrrhus was ravaging the Italian countryside, while Carthage controlled Sicily and the seas. The Greek culture was past its peak, lost in the fight between those who claimed to be its sole successors. In these dark times, a young Roman scholar who admired the Greek civilization set out to travel the world, and ended up as a chronicler in the Bosporan Kingdom, somewhere at the northeastern edge of the known civilization.

    Ganbarenippon brings us the “Tales of The Bosporan Kings”, played in RTW Roma Surrectum 1.6, and featuring a faction which is certainly underrepresented in the AAR scene. If the Bosporan Kingdom is unfamiliar to the reader, there is no reason to worry. Ganbarenippon opens with a stunningly rich and detailed history, presenting the unusual Thracian origin, many notable characters, family strives, civil wars and deeds of greatness and malice alike. A lot of this history is fictional, but Ganbarenippon used all what is known about the real Bosporan Kingdom to contextualize his story. And this is not simply information overload, as the story flows seamlessly, and the reader is not overwhelmed by the setup. This part of the AAR is a gem in itself.

    The narrative is told by the king, occasionally interrupted by the remarks of the chronicler and letters of other characters. These elements are all in first person with different styles and using plenty of Greek cultural references (although the occasional “Sire” and “Your Excellency” may be better suited in a medieval tale). The story is dominated by the king’s account.

    All is in readiness and I march in the morning. I feel an odd sense of foreboding about this, Roman. Much is at stake, and I am now an old man. Byzas was correct. I have a feeling that I shan't see my capital again. Nor shall I see my sons, or my beloved Karia. Hades has touched me I fear and I shall not be much longer for this world. All I can do now is hold to my course and do what I must to secure my son's inheritance.

    Ah, ignore my melancholy, Publius! Winter is almost here and I feel the chill especially hard tonight. Doubts and fears are the children of the night, and I am sure that when the morning comes I shall be ready to do what I must. Even a king may doubt himself once in a while. But when I look back on this, what other choice was there? What choice has there ever been? I must put these things aside, along with the knowledge of the lives that this will cost and I must do what I must for my kingdom. It is time to make us whole again. I am off to say my farewells to my beloved Karia. Sleep Roman, we march to war in the morning.
    While the character development of the king is powerful and extensive, I’d have two suggestions on the narrative structure. One is to elaborate on the situations. The narrative scenes are mostly monologues linked by remarks on time (“Some weeks later”), and we know little about the surroundings. The other is to give more opportunities for the chronicler to reflect on what he saw, which may even be an interesting contrast to the “official” chronicles. In fact, this could help contextualizing the scenes, particularly when the king has only short narration pieces that are a bit awkward and could be replaced with chronicler remarks. The chronicler is a different character from those in the Bosporan Kingdom, so he could be developed as a natural storytelling counterpart.

    One of the many story aspects I liked a lot is its pace. The extensive introduction and background already hinted that we are not reading the usual total war story in which armies are obliterated by the dozen in every turn. However, as a clear evidence for Ganbarenippon’s superb writing skills, the story hooks the reader without the constant fighting. That actually contributes to immersion, as even in total war there are periods between the battles with the preparations, campaign information, plots, in other words the rich background which makes the battles stand out – just like in reality.

    The campaign pictures are informative, and I always appreciate the extra editing to show troop movements to match with the narrative.


    The battle pictures are well selected, both the bird’s eye and close-up ones. One aspect I’m not crazy about is the subtitles for pictures – but this is a personal preference. I think that subtitles work better if the battle is not narrated in first person, simply because it could be confusing to read them both at the same time. These add an extra layer of information, so writers should make sure that the subtitle placement and text matches the actual narrative of the battle. If this will be a permanent feature of the AAR, I would advise to be consistent in its use (i.e. use them for all of the battle pictures).


    In summary, I have to say that it is not very often that we can read such an elegantly crafted and in-depth AAR – which by the way has a very interesting faction choice. The story is still relatively at the beginning, so hopefully we have a long journey ahead of us. Ganbarenippon is a very talented writer, and his first AAR matches the works of veteran AARtists. His story is destined to be an epic tale about the rise of a forgotten kingdom and the incredible journey of a Roman scholar in search of the light in the darkness.

    Review by Radzeer


    Tales of Thera
    A THERA Fan Fiction by Borissomeone
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Hidden in amongst the Mod forums there lies a glittering jewel of a story waiting to delight those who stumble upon it. The jewel I speak of is Borissomeone’s Tales of Thera, an epic story that has so delighted its readers for the past two years in Thera’s AAR forum. This fanfic was previously reviewed for the Critics Quill by ‘the boss’ Juvenal way back in Issue 15 fully a year and a half ago (find his review here). A lot has happened since then and now as his loyal readers eagerly await the finale I felt that it was high time to take another look at this long running story. It takes a lot of commitment and energy to keep on writing something for nearly two whole years and for that I commend Borissomeone.

    The story follows the adventures of a small group of Romuli soldiers of the 5th Legion as they do battle against their foes and attempt to survive in the harsh world of Thera. What starts out as a simple assault on a small hill fort quickly develops into an epic tale of battle, intrigue, assassination, magic, love, lust, but most of all blood.

    I came into this story knowing pretty much nothing about the Thera mod (I knew that it was a fantasy mod and that was about it) but despite this I was drawn into this story from the very beginning. The opening paragraph does a brilliant job of setting the scene and enticing the reader in, wanting them to read more.

    The Great Torment had ended, crops grew again and the life giving rains fell, life was returning to the lands of the Romuli. A wind howled across the domain of the Romuli, the smell of rain thick in its breath, within the wind, another thing, a smell never forgotten by the empire of the Romuli, the smell of war. The wind howled throughout the land, gusting this way and that and wherever it went it sang the same song, war is coming time to sharpen your sword, time to drink blood, war is coming. The Great Torment had ended and so had the time of peace.
    In my opinion where Borissomeone does best is in his descriptions of battles and fighting. His skilful use of words really succeed in creating the drama and excitement that enable this story to stand out from the crowd and have won Borissomeone a dedicated core of fans that have followed this story loyally for so long. Now, if I were to provide examples of every time this story has shown examples of this skill then this review would be far too long, so I’ll limit myself to just one.

    Maximus found himself in a deadly dance as the assassins blade snaked in, the man kept twirling in his cloak, a wild dance of cloak and blade, the dark material obscuring his movements. Maximus saw the other men come around the corner, six against one time to end this, he thought. The next spin of the cloak and Maximus stepped in; the assassin who thought his style of swordsmanship was unusual enough to keep his adversary confused was surprised to find himself suddenly off balance as Maximus grabbed his cloak and halted his spinning dance of death, Maximus pulled the man towards him, as the man lost his balance and stumbled Maximus stabbed his gladius up and under the assassin’s chin, feeling his warm blood gush over his hand he yanked his blade free, quickly turning he ran back to his friends.
    However, this story isn’t all about blood and gore. Borissomeone also manages to write in other aspects to his story such as love and humour that succeed in lightening the mood of the story and making it flow smoothly and therefore making it easier for the reader to read. I particularly enjoyed the occasional times that the writer uses a little play on words, such as when he describes a Romulii soldier called Hilarius as having a “funny name.” The best thing about these jokes and puns is that they don’t feel forced as is so often the case when people try to add humour into AARs and Fanfics.

    My one small criticism is that on occasion the plot does seem to skip around a bit too much. This sometimes makes it more difficult to follow the storyline, especially if, like me, you are unfamiliar with the Thera mod. Fortunately, Borissomeone’s writing quickly and easily brings the reader up speed on any new characters or events without detracting from the flow of the story, so any confusion is usually kept to a minimum.

    And so finally I would encourage anyone who hasn’t already to head down to the Thera forums and enjoy the delights that this story has to offer and can I just say, I am eagerly awaiting the surely magnificent conclusion to this marvellous story.

    Review by wowbanger


    Last edited by Juvenal; November 10, 2011 at 02:52 AM.
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    Interview Section

    An Interview with Decimus Milo
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Greetings to all the readers of the Critic's Quill! This is Skantarios and today I am going to do something a little different, for me at least. Today I bring you an interview with one of the most accomplished and prolific AAR writers on the forums, Decimus Milo. He has been writing AARs virtually non-stop for almost a year and a half and has started three distinct AARs and completed two of them.

    It all began with Who Watches the Watchers: A Papal Apocalypse and has since spread into AARs that spanned from the Numidians to the Romans with his subsequent works. They are all immensely popular and have developed a large and devoted following. It seemed a terrible shame that his work has not until today found its way into the Critic's Quill. I want to remedy that today.


    1) Let's start with some easy questions. How did your interest in the TW series and its mods start?
    Thanks for the kind intro. I've always been a fan of both real-time and turn-based strategy, starting back with Command and Conquer and Civilisation franchises. When I heard that the Total War series merged the two, I was intrigued to say the least, although bought my first - Rome: Total War - on a complete whim. I've never played the first Shogun or Medieval, but from then on I was hooked.

    2) What attracted you to TWCenter? How did you find your way here?
    TWCenter always seemed to be among the top Google results when searching out a Total War question, so straight away it attracted me as a forum is only as good as its user base - which in TWCenter is evidently very knowledgeable.

    3) What got you into writing AARs?
    Again the answer comes down to whim - I remember reading an excellent AAR by Exekutor called Peace and Prosperity, a Greek observer AAR. I wondered what would happen if one tried it in Medieval II. After a few turns all hell broke loose, so I figured why not make it a proper AAR? This is why my first AAR starts of in medias res - it wasn't originally an AAR, just a personal project.

    4) Most AARs are never seen to completion. Many authors just seem to lose interest or grossly underestimate how much time they would take. You have done two AARs all the way through and are working your way through another. As someone who has stuck with it for more than a year, how do you find the motivation to keep going?
    Well, one and a half - I'm about to wrap up my Decline and Fall AAR, but I wouldn't call it finished just yet. The behemoth that is the Sassanid Empire awaits, after all. Mainly I don't want to let people down. I must admit that my updates can take a while to come, it's a way to express my gratitude for the patience of the readers.

    5) Your AARs have become quite popular. In terms of views, you have the number one and two on the Total War Eras section and the number three on the Medieval 2 section. You also have quite a devoted following of members who both read and post in your threads. Most authors can only vainly hope for such success. That said, what do you think has been the primary reason your work is so popular?
    I'm not entirely sure - I expected my first to sink like a stone in the midst of other, veteran AAR'ers. My first post in the forum was the start of my Scottish AAR, so I didn't know what to expect or what people would expect. I hope that the appeal lies in watching just what one can get away with in these games, as well as the rather tongue in cheek nature of my writing. I don't take things too serious, as readers of them can probably tell - doesn't hurt to throw in a few gags now and again.

    6) Of the three AARs you have done to this point, do you have a favorite? If so, why?
    That's a tricky one, I have favourite bits in all of them. In my Scottish AAR, the mass invasion of Europe is a favourite chapter of mine. The earliest bits of my Western Roman Empire AAR where I'm desperately swatting off invading barbarian hoards and internal rebellions where fun and frantic. Overall, I'd say my personal favourite is my Numidian AAR - everyone loves an underdog story. It's also an interesting study of how in history, single moments can define an empire, it's a story full of 'what-ifs' for me.

    7) Some time back, there was a trend for the "Apocalypse" style AARs. They began with some Timurid and Mongol AARs and then spread to various other factions. Your own first AAR, Who Watches the Watchers began as an observer AAR and then evolved into The Papal Apocalypse. What do you think the appeal of that style of AAR was and why did you get involved in it?
    Initially I had no plan of interfering at all - I'd initially planned to end it once a dominant power had seized Europe. What I didn't expect is that the power would be the Papal States, of all factions. Nor did I anticipate the popularity. It was a case of 'the show must go on', greatly inspired by the legendary Timurid AARs of ALZU- the title is a direct nod, and dunecat.

    8) Your style of writing seems geared more toward a "Player's AAR" as opposed to a "Writer's AAR." While you do involve some elements of plot and characters, it seems you are much more focused on the blow-by-blow reporting from a player's perspective. Was this a conscious decision or did it just happen in the course of your writing?
    At the risk of sounding like a total ponce, it's a very organic process. By which I mean, I just write whatever comes to mind. Lots of other people can do brilliant AARs with great stories and characters, far better than I could. I hope that my more straightforward writing style offers something different.

    9) One of the things that has impressed me with your AARs is the faction and in-game challenge you present yourself with. In the Rome AAR, you fought as the late Western Empire during the break up. In another, you fought as little Scotland against a Papacy that had taken over literally the rest of the world. In your current AAR, you fight as the long-suffering Numidians. Did you pick these times and factions for the in game challenge/fun or because of the plot you could use from them?
    A bit of both. I picked Scotland initially because it was out of the way - the only other choice, England, held Normandy. Britain is nice and isolated from the continent, a perfect spot to observe without interfering. In the Greek AAR that inspired it, Executor exiled his faction to Crete, so I followed suit. I'd also never played a serious Scottish campaign, so it was something new for me.

    Choosing the Western Roman Empire harkens back to my earliest days with the Barbarian Invasion expansion pack. Namely, how I got my arse handed to me. You're quite right in assuming the challenge is why I picked them - I figured it would be entertaining to see if I could even survive.

    Choosing the Numidians was an extension of this idea. I searched the forums to see what faction people thought was most difficult, the most worthless, the most crippled playable faction in the franchise. Dirt-poor Numidia came up frequently. Ages ago I used a mod to unlock the Berbers as a playable faction in BI, finding it challenging in the same way the sun can be described as warm. I had a few very close calls with Numidia early on - only luck prevented me from heading the way of the Berbers, who threw themselves helplessly against the walls of Carthage to no avail.

    10) Any AAR writer has gone through issues with putting together updates and posting on the forums. Lost files, timed-out posts that you can't recover, problems with the game/computer, etc. Any particularly funny or painful episodes from writing these AARs that you would care to share with us?
    Oh, plenty of those - it's something an AAR writer has to learn the hard way. My personal favourite is when I announced my first AAR was dead due to a cracked Medieval II disc - posting a gory picture of its fate. The date...April the 1st.

    11) It has been nearly seven years since Rome: Total War was released. In that time, four more editions of the Total War series have come out. You have based two of your AARs on that platform and the forum for that series is still one of the most popular on the board. What do you attribute to the staying power of Rome: Total War and why is it still so popular?
    I attribute it to the players and modders, pushing the limits and seeing what they can get away with. The fact that it's a bloody fun game doesn't hurt either.

    12) With the introduction of Shogun II: Total War and its generally positive reception, have you seen a drop off in interest in the Eras section of the board?
    I can't say I've noticed a marked drop, but I wasn't looking for one either. People may have noticed a increased gap between updates, for which they can certainly blame Shogun II - my Date campaign doesn't play itself!

    13) Do you have any plans for another AAR? If so, have you decided on a faction/mod/time period? Why?
    I've tossed around a few ideas in my head, but nothing concrete yet. After my current campaigns are finished I'd definitely like to start something new, though. Maybe give those Berbers another shot...

    14) Do you have any plans to write a different style of AARs where you will bring in characters or develop a storyline to go with the action?
    Perhaps - my Numidian AAR does try and focus on these elements a little more, especially when compared with my Western Roman Empire AAR.

    15) Are there any mods that you would like to see in the future?
    My favourite mods are Rome Total Realism and Stainless Steel, so anything more in those moulds I'd love to try. Thanks to the Quill for the interview and those who have made my AARs so popular.


    And that concludes the interview. I would like to thank Decimus for taking the time to respond to my many questions. He is still putting out updates at a pretty torid pace. So, if you haven't checked in with his AARs in a while, I suggest you go ack and have a look. If, by some chance, you haven't seen his work at all, I would encourage you to do so. There is a great variety to choose from!

    Decimus Milo's AARs
    Who Watches the Watchers?: A Papal Apocolypse (Complete)
    The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (In Progress)
    And all around is the desert, a corner of the mournful kingdom of sand (In Progress)


    Interview conducted by Skantarios



    Article Section

    A newbie's guide to AARtistry
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Greetings everyone, here is a small piece about AARs for beginners. This article is written from what I have learned about writing AARs.

    OK, we are about to start an AAR. You would think it to be quite easy. *Spoil sport alert* sadly, no, an AAR, or rather a successful AAR is much more than what meets the eye. In this article, we shall see what could be a better approach for an AAR, and how you could spice one up.

    These few points ought to help you to attain the basic flow you would need to get a good AAR under your belt.

    Six simple points to remember:

    1.) what makes you tick?
    As the heading suggests, the first thing to do is to find out what impresses you. The sheer variety of Medieval 2 Total War, or the awe inspiring graphics of Napoleon Total War and Shogun 2 Total War, or the nostalgic atmosphere of Antiquity in Rome Total War. Selection of the game should be easy. The game you pick should be comfortable for you, and also fresh and interesting.

    Now, half of the "tick" question is over. The second is which faction you should take.

    The answer is simple, the faction you like. One thing to note, pick a faction you would not get bored with halfway through the game.

    2.) Mods and addons
    Mods are quite good for using, but not a dire necessity.

    It is all up to you. If you are confident to deliver a good narrative in vanilla itself, go for it. If you like to use mods, find a mod that would suit your story adequately.

    3.) Settings and Console
    There is a concept, quite popular among gamers. The harder the difficulty of the game, the more interesting it is. It would give a good game experience, but would not help your AAR much. You would not want this to happen in you AAR. In a chapter, there are plans for building an empire. In the game, the enemy is thundering towards your capital, your last remaining stronghold.

    In the AAR, during certain moments, it would do to put a map for your readers to get the complete picture. During those times, it is all right to use the console command to reveal the map.

    4.) Type of AAR: Game driven vs. Plot driven
    Which of the below two categories would your AAR fit in? In simple words, game driven is twisting the story to fit the game, and plot driven is twisting or rather tweaking the game to fit your story. Here are some examples.

    Consider the example of an AAR “The Scourge” as game driven. In this AAR, I wrote the narrative following the events of the game. As the game would run its course, I would make a suitable narration for it.

    In another AAR “Exodus, and a New Beginning”, I first got the idea of that plot. Then I went with the usual process of coming to a definite plot. There were some aspects, which I wanted changed in the mod. Therefore, I became a modder and modified the mod to suit my plot.

    You could follow any of these methods.

    5.) Gamer vs. Writer
    In AARtistry, there is no such thing as a Cheater, or Good gamer, or bad gamer. There is only a writer, with a good or average (not bad) AAR. You are not in a gaming contest, how you play the game is completely your discretion. What matters is the story.

    6.) Writer’s Technique
    There is something called as X-factor, which every writer has or develops. Equally important is Flexibility, in the case of AARs. Flexibility will help the writer mould his tale from a plain AAR into a gripping and interesting one.

    Not everyone plans his or her AAR from the beginning and right to the end. Flexibility will help you get to the end, developing adequate twists to keep the readers enthralled. Flexibility is a thing that is not learned, it actually develops in the writer naturally.

    NOTE As writers, particularly me, learn it the hard way, it is actually a good idea to make backup copies of your save files. This is to ensure that despite whatever problems come your way, you can continue your AAR.

    That's all my friends, see you next time. I might write another article, but till then, keep writing. Best wishes for your AARs.

    By m_1512


    Historical Fiction, my perspective
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Greetings readers. I am back yet again, this time with an article on Historical Fiction, to share my perspective with you.

    So what is Historical fiction? Going by the standard definition: “It is a story with a historical setting.”

    Historical fiction presents readers with a story that takes place during a notable period in history, and usually at the time of some significant event during that period. Historical fiction often presents actual events from the point of view of fictional people living at the time.

    Well, in simple terms, I would like to refer to it as Adding color to History. It is writing a story around a particular time in history. Does Antiquity stir you to hold a pen? On the other hand, are you into the brooding feel of the Dark ages? Well, you may also write about any other period; from the Middle Ages to the Industrial era.

    It is a wonderful setting where you can write about any era of history. In addition, you can put your story into it. However, it does not end there. So I have collected a few aspects of what can make good historical fiction under the headings below.

    Research
    A prime factor here is how well you can put the atmosphere in that era. A good way could be to do some research about the specific period. This will bring you double benefits; it will enrich your knowledge as well as help you produce a spotless story. Research may include customs and practices, styles of speech (i.e. way of talking), and even aspects of society in general. If your story takes place in a setting where the language was not English, it would help to learn a few phrases of that language.

    Characters
    A story is never complete without characters. The characters bring the general idea or meaning of the plot to life.

    Your main characters of the story can be fictional, as you would have thought about their attributes, strengths etc. The trick is to fit them in that period comfortably. Therefore, your heroes, and villains must look like people from that period, talk like them, and even fight like them.

    Conforming to the definition, your plot must have some historical persons too. Along with your main characters (fictional), including some notable personalities should do the trick. For example, suppose the main character in your story is a cavalier of the Napoleonic era. He is French, let us call him Pierre. If the story is from the Pierre's perspective, you could include a cameo of Napoleon, or Ney, or maybe even Wellington, whichever you wish, for it is your story.

    Historical Accuracy vs. Fiction
    A much-debated topic, this one is: How historically accurate should your story be?
    • too historical and there is very little scope for your plot;
    • too much fiction and it may slip into the realm of Alternate History.

    Well, the good news is that there is a solution. It is Writer’s License!

    Writer’s License
    A topic that is not very easy to define. Writer’s license is the allowance you get to modify certain aspects to suit your story. Suppose you need to modify, or rather mould some historical character, or even an event to fit your character into; you may flash this license and just do it.

    I would like to give an example. In the famed series, Sharpe, by Bernard Cornwell, the main hero is Richard Sharpe, a British soldier during the Napoleonic wars. The author creates a fictional regiment for his character so that he has the freedom to have him present at any historical event the story requires.

    That is writer’s license. You can go about modifying until a certain limit. This is similar to magic, or make-believe. You can modify what you think is best, but only if you can pull it off. You can include secret love or a nemesis for a historical person, but only within fairly narrow limits; something like “Napoleon in Antarctica” simply would not work.

    To tell you the truth, I would not meddle much with it, for it is a double-edged weapon. Remember, the bigger the change the harder it is to pull off.

    This concludes my small article, I hope it got you thinking. Until next time my friends (I might even come up with a sequel).

    By m_1512


    Alternate History at a Glance
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    What is Alternate History? People often like to discuss or debate about "What if" scenario. That gentlemen, is Alternate history. It can be defined as "The genre of fiction that consists of stories that are set in worlds in which History has diverged from actual history of the world."

    In simple words, it is a supposition that an event in history took place differently. What if Germany had won the First world war? What if the Mongols had conquered Europe? etc.

    Now the above was all the definitions and other things. Now we come to the writing part. Alternate History can make an excellent platform for both stories and debates. But we shall have a look at stories part only.

    Interested in writing in this genre? It is an interesting platform. But there are few things which could be kept in mind while going for this venture.

    Scenario:
    This is vital part. The story will be based on it. Asking oneself these questions is what I usually do for writing any story. They are,
    • Is the area (scenario) interesting?
    • Do I have sufficient information about that period?
    • Is the information reliable?
    • Will the "What if scenario" interest the readers?


    What separates it from Historical Fiction:
    This should not be too difficult, as the lines can be clearly drawn. In Historical fiction, the lead characters are fictional based in a fairly accurate setting. Here, your main characters can be historical persons themselves, with any deviation you want.

    Pulling it off:
    Forgive me for such phrase, but could not think of a traditional one at the moment.

    Now, how do we define pulling it off?

    Suppose I am writing one where Napoleon is victorious in Russian campaign. I can write about any possibilities after this event. If I choose to write how Napoleon marches into China, I must do so in such a way to make it believable. This might be called pulling it off.

    There is no standard procedure to this, depends entirely on the writer. Every writer by means of his technique, or as my friend told me some time ago, by his X-factor, achieve it.

    Conclusion:
    Now that all the bright and jolly aspects are over, we come to some of its serious aspects.

    One must always remember that History is never a single-sided affair. Should your work please one set of people, it could as well offend the other set.

    Therefore, a writer must always exercise caution while writing AH (Alternate History). It would also help to avoid controversial topics. You may pick them of course. But then, Diplomacy is the key, as Juvenal rightly says.

    Thus concludes this article, hope you liked it. And Best of Luck for all writers.
    Keep Writing.

    By m_1512


    The Evolution of RTW AARs
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Before I begin, perhaps I should fill you in on how this article has come about. Unfortunately, I was forced in November 2010 to stop writing for my beloved CQ, due to the crushing RL commitments of sixth form school. However, now that exams are over (and I have completed the 15 or so needless projects my teachers set me afterwards...) I am determined to dive back into the world of AARs and H.F., and nowhere more so than in RTW Eras AARs.

    It’s important to look at the time scale and see how fast AARs change. I’ve been away for (about) 8 months. Some would say that’s a long time in the AAR world, others not so much: what I want to do is see what has changed and what has remained. And a lot certainly has changed. Look at 8 months before I left for a similar time scale – March 2010. In the MAARCs of February, March and May of that year, AARs like ‘I am Skantarios’, ‘Basilaion ton Romaion’, ‘History of Men’ and ‘Ishtar Gate to Alexandria’ appear. Many smaller AARs on the archives are completely unrecognisable, despite my activity at the time. Hopefully this will show you the level of change I am expecting…

    The only AAR I recognise as having remained over this time is Decimus Milo’s ‘[RTW AAR] And all around is the desert; a corner of the mournful kingdom of sand.’ This is an achievement worth noting – and the AARtist too, especially as he has another AAR running, ‘The decline and fall of the Roman Empire’. The commitment to the former at least has been enormous, as it has run from June 2010 to the present with nearly 650 posts and 55,000 views! This ranks it with classics such as ‘Eastern Eagle’, in terms of size and following if nothing else; let’s look at this AAR in a little more detail than the other newcomers to the forum.

    To give a brief overview, D.Milo was always going to have a challenge ahead when he set out using RTW vanilla, as did SolidSnake for ‘The Proud Blood of Germania’. And the small fact that he tried to make it hard by choosing a VH/VH Numidia campaign, designed to be difficult. The AAR is picture based, but the annotations are well thought through and improve as time goes on. It is, funnily enough, surprising to see an AAR which is actually that: an After Action Report. It is, of course, no worse off for this, and I see how it has built up such a following (I myself particularly admire the disciplined armies he uses). My only criticisms would be the lack of care over some of the pictures (green markers, not cropped, etc…understandable with so many images, but Red October did it) and the speed of the campaign: although I appreciate that it’s a long war and that is part of the fun, it is taking too long for most people.

    However, this is about more than one AAR. Firstly, the MAARC is doing well, with good steady entrants and voters from what I can see. The new BAARC is also great to see, as another 'grade' of writing between TOTW and AARs, and I hope that the competition goes from strength to strength, especially if the first one is anything to go by. Also, I have found new trends emerging over the time I have been away.

    For a start, the mods used have changed. As well as the usual Vanilla and EB mix, there seems to be a lot more XGM type mods, as well as a lot of obscure mods, e.g., IB:SAI, PI and XC. Of course, RS2 is to be expected as a popular choice, with the familiarity of Vanilla and infinitely improved realism and accuracy in all aspects of gameplay. This gives the AARs of the moment a little more variety, and a different flavour; diversity in AARs is goooooood .

    Overall, although I have only been able to dip in to the 'AARmbrosia' of new talent, sure-fires and near misses, it's clear that things can only get better

    By SonOfAlexander


    Invention of a literary device
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    1. Introduction
    In literature authors use various kinds of tricks and tools to spice up their novel and to add a certain flair to their prose. I'm sure many of you writers and readers have read stories that use literary devices, just think about all those children's tales. Talking animals or trees feeling sad would be classified under "personification" or the attribution of human characteristics to objects or living things that don't have these characteristics. In this article I will atempt to give an explanation of what a literary device is, while also providing examples from a novel where the author has actually created a new one.

    Please not that I will use many quotes and that they are translated from Spanish to Dutch in my book and then by me from Dutch to English so there will be differences from the original version. I also can't garantuee that the pagenumbers will match.

    2. What is a literary device?
    According to Wikipedia:
    A literary technique, literary device, procedure or method, can be everything that the artist-writer uses with particular artistic intentions. It can be for example an identifiable rule of thumb, a convention, a literary motif, a structure that is employed in literature and storytelling, or the absence of them.

    According to english.learnhub.com:
    Literary devices are common structures used in writing. These devices can be either literary elements or literary techniques. Literary elementsare found in almost every story and can be used to analyze and interpret (e.g. protagonist, setting, plot, theme). Literary techniques, on the other hand, constructions in the text, usually to express artistic meaning through the use of language (e.g. metaphor, hyperbole).

    According to dictionary.reference.com:
    A literary or linguistic technique that produces a specific effect, esp. a figure of speech, narrative style, or plot mechanism.

    Hopefully this has clarified things a little when it comes to these techniques and devices. For a full list please go here. Let us move on to the actual subject now.

    3. How to create a new technique/device?
    Honestly I'm pretty much in dark here as well. I assume you would need extensive knowledge of the existing ones and have a good idea of what you want to achieve as well. Think about what you want the device to do and how it is triggered.

    I've tried my hand at this myself but inspiration was non-existent and even if I had a brilliant idea it would still have been a difficult process to write a story where I can include it. Let us proceed to the eidesis.

    4. Eidesis
    The French Wikipedia has an accurate article on this so what it has to say but I'll translate it for you.

    "L'eidesis est une « technique littéraire » inventée par l'écrivain cubain José Carlos Somoza, et faussement attribuée aux écrivains grecs classiques, dans son œuvre de fiction La caverne des idées. L'eidesis permettrait de transmettre des clés ou des messages secrets dans les œuvres, en répétant des métaphores ou des mots qui, isolés par un lecteur averti, formeraient une image indépendante du texte originel.
    L'eidésis serait donc une forme de stéganographie."

    "Eidesis is a literary technique invented by the Cuban author J.C. Somoza, wrongly attributed to the ancient Classical Greek authors, in his fictional work "La caverna de las ideas". Eidesis allows the transmission of keys and secret messages in the labours [of Herakles], by repeating metaphores or words that, when isolated by an alert reader, form an image indepandant from the original text. Eidesis is thus a form of steganography."

    In the author's own words:
    "La "eidesis" es una invención absoluta de "La caverna de las ideas". Lo que sí podrás encontrar en el diccionario es la palabra "eidético", que se refiere a cierta clase de memoria o representación visual de las cosas. Que yo sepa, la "eidesis" no existe, y menos en la forma en que yo la planteo en la novela.

    Como anécdota te contaré, sin embargo, que me he topado con más de un artículo en la red que habla sobre la "eidesis" entresacada de mi libro... pero tratándola como un recurso real... ¡y hasta poniendo ejemplos! En fin, no es infrecuente en la historia de la literatura que lo creado se independice del creador...

    Gracias por los elogios y un saludo,

    José Carlos Somoza"

    My Spanish is very rusty but I'll try and translate it for you...

    "The eidesis is an invention belonging completely to "La caverna de las ideas" [Spanish title]. What you may encounter in the dictionary is the word "eidetic", which refers to a certain type of memory or visual representation of things. As far as I know, the eidesis does not exist, or at least not in the way I used it in the novel.

    As an anecdote let me tell you that I have encountered more than one article on the internet, about the eidesis contained within my book, but they treated it as if it were a real thing. They even gave many examples! To summerize, it's not uncommon in the history of literature that what you create becomes independent of the creator..."

    Basically the author uses words and expressions to evoke a feeling or to paint an image. This image or feeling contains hidden keys to unlocking two mysteries that are present in the novel. The eidesis cannot be noticed by the characters, even though much of what is described, happens right in front of them! He devised a way to send secret messages through the depictions of images or phrases. You will know more when I give specific examples in the section below.

    Here are the links for the novel and the author. The Athenian Murders by José Carlos Somoza

    5. The Athenian Murders: examples

    Plot - SPOILERS

    The novel interweaves two apparently disparate storylines: the first being an ancient Greek novel published in Athens just after the Peloponnesian War and the second contained within a modern-day scholar's notes on his translation. In the ancient novel (which is itself called The Athenian Murders) a young ephebe named Tramachus is discovered on the slopes of Mount Lycabettus, apparently attacked by wolves. His tutor at the Academy, Diagoras, enlists the help of a "Decipherer of Enigmas" (a detective named Heracles Pontor) to learn more about Tramachus's death. As Diagoras and Heracles investigate, more youths from the Academy are discovered brutally murdered. Their investigation takes them all over Athens, from mystery cult worship services to a symposium hosted by Plato.
    Meanwhile, the translator (who is never named) provides frequent commentary on the work, especially as it appears to him to be an example of a (fictional) ancient literary device called eidesis. "Eidesis" is supposedly the practice of repeating words or phrases so as to evoke a particular image or idea in the reader's mind, as it were a kind of literary steganography. As the translator works on the novel, he soon deduces that the "eidetic" secret concealed within the novel is The Twelve Labours of Herakles, one labor for each of the twelve chapters of the novel. The translator becomes obsessed with the imagery, going so far as to see himself depicted within the ancient work.
    Partway through the novel, the translator is kidnapped and forced to continue the translation in a cell. His captor turns out to be the scholar Montalo, whose edition of The Athenian Murders is the only surviving copy of the work. Montalo himself had obsessed over the novel, hoping to find in it a proof of Plato's Theory of Forms. He felt that should an eidetic text, such as this novel, evoke the same ideas in each reader it would then prove that ideas have a separate, independent reality. However, Montalo finished the translation only to discover that the book proved the opposite—that the book proved his (and the translator's) reality did not exist. The translator finishes the work only to have the same realization: that they themselves are characters in The Athenian Murders, which was written by a colleague of Plato named Philotextus as a way to incorporate Plato's theory of knowledge while criticizing the philosophical lifestyle.

    "Eidesis, I explained, is a literary technique, invented by ancient Greek authors to pass on codes or secret messages through texts. The technique consists of the iteration of metaphores and words that...form independent images or ideas." p.19
    The Translator (unnamed) explains what eidesis is to his friend Helena.

    "It was at this moment that the snakes with their scaled skin that lay dormant under his feet woke up and rolled out their slippery tongues, hissing angrily." p.37
    Obviously this is eidesis. The characters aren't aware of the snakes under their feet because there are no snakes, there's only a metaphore.

    "Suddenly the whole gymnasium was shaking. The walls were rattling so hard it seemed they would crumble.
    [...]A number of objects in the room fell to the floor because of the increasing tremor: the clothes hanging on the wall, a small oil lamp, the list of contestants for the competition. [...]The thundering steps of a four-legged animal were closing in. A statue of Poseidon clashed to the floor and disintegrated in a thousand pieces. The door of the dressing room slammed shut with an enormous sound." p.75
    In this paragraph in the book, a conversation between two characters in a room is accompanied by a shaking background where a whole house seems to collapse, while the characters are completely oblivious to these threatening events. The metaphor in the eidesis here is that of a raging bull. The eidesis continues on the following pages...

    "A fierce headbutt bent the door. There was a sound of hooves, an animal breathing deeply and the terrible noise of something enormous on the other side of the door." p.76

    "The door received another blow. Myriads of splinters fell on Herakles Pontor's coat. A mad (sound of cow) sounded from the other side again." p.76

    "The young man walked between the two men and opened the door, which was hanging limply by the hinges, and left the room." p.77
    So what has happened here? When reading these phrases and excerpts the reader would think that a wild beast has detroyed the door of the room, but none of the characters seem to notice anything despite explicit descriptions of broken doors and pottery. The character called "Translator" provides us with the answer.

    - As we have previously determined the events described in eidesis are only real to the reader [of the story set in Ancient Greece] and are only literary "events".
    The eidesis in this particular example above is a very drastic one. It demolishes the background of the story and even intervenes with the plot, despite not being real to the characters of the story. Writing this down for you readers I'm feeling more and more confused. Eidesis is a very tricky and difficult literary technique because it's not real. You read about whole houses shaking and objects being destroyed, but it's not real. It's only a hidden message, transmitted through a literary trick.

    "Frightened by noise the birds interrupted their meal and spread their wings. Their small bodies quickly and smoothly erupted in flames and fell to the earth in a vertical motion, while the two men blinked their eyes to shield them from the fierce rays of sunlight." p.108
    What has happened in this scene? Do you believe the birds really burst into flames and that the two men did not panic at the sight of flaming birds descending on them? Of course not. It's just an eidesis again where the birds change shape and become rays of sun. On the next page the author continues with the metaphore.

    "The sunlight started eating again, picking crums between the grass, after which they flew to a tree and descended on a branch where they tsjilped a few notes. They were soon joined by a nightingale." p.109
    We have a new metaphore here with rays of sunlight behaving as if they were birds and soon they become real birds again. None of this is real of course and it is only real to us because we read it. I find this literary technique very difficult to understand and I'm sure you do too so after a few more examples of strange things I will try to form a conclusion on eidesis and its uses.

    "Softly, almost gentle, he [Krantor] brought the razorsharp pointy nail to the small head of the bird. The little bird's suffering was short but horrifying, like the cries of a child being tortured in a dark dungeon. Herakles relaxed and took a sip of his wine."
    This is something different from what we have seen in the examples above, where the characters endure the eidesis but don't seem to notice it. Here a character's action actually IS the eidesis or do you believe he really tortured that bird while his companion quietly sipped his wine? The author makes a character do something that is not really happening because it's all part of the eidesis. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? I know it's not easy to understand. I don't think I understand it completely myself. What we have in the example above is a literary technique being performed by a character. Quite extraordinary, I believe.

    "What is wrong with the day? wondered Diagoras. Why does it seem like everything around me is dragging itself forth with an unbearable and shocking slowness?[...]The road to Herakles Pontor's home seemed as endless as the Marathon contest."
    In the example above we have a peculiar effect. Either this is not an eidesis but merely a metaphor of time going slower, because the characters are feeling the effect. If this is an eidesis then it's a very rare kind where characters are influenced and they know they are influenced. I'm going to let you form your own opinion on this. Eidesis or not? If you decide this is in fact an example of eidesis then you have to conclude that there are no limits on how eidesis manipulates a story.

    "Diagoras blinked after looking at the sunlit garden. There was a huge white cow near the waterpit, grazing slowly and tamely." p198-199
    This could be an eidesis, in line with the one I mentioned earlier of the bull demolishing the house, but it doesn't have to be. There could be a cow in the garden and it could be grazing. We find the answer to our question in the phrases below:

    "Diagoras kept staring past the peacefully chewing cow in the garden."

    "Diagoras shook his head in the direction of the garden, making it seem he was talking to the cow."
    These two phrases above seem to indicate that there is in fact a cow in the garden but then the author removes our doubt by putting these words below in the mouth of a protagonist:

    "I mean... what if I told you something completely insane, like there is a huge cow grazing in your garden? Would you not declare me mentally insane?"
    If that was not clear enough, the protagonist seems to address us readers in the following phrase:

    "But could such an assertion, untrue for you and me, not be true for somebody else?"
    I actually said "yes" aloud when reading that phrase. He clearly means that this assertion is just an eidesis and that it is true for us readers and not for the protagonists. Our final clue is given on the next page where the author finally makes it clear that the cow in the garden is in fact an eidesis.

    "Herakles noticed Diagoras shake his head anew and stare into the empty garden."
    After five pages of wondering what the significance of the cow is, we now have certainty.

    6. Conclusion
    I don't need to tell you how confusing and complex the concept of eidesis can be, so it's a massive accomplishment that Somoza wrote a whole book about it full of examples and problems. In my own conclusion it would be a great challenge for us writers to try and invent a new literary device or technique, let alone incorporate it in a story. Nevertheless I believe it's possible and I've been feeling encouraged lately to try and invent one myself.

    I could have given many many more examples but this is not supposed to be treatise so I just picked the most significant ones. Eidesis is obviously quite complex and there are no clear guidelines for what counts as eidesis and what counts as just regular metaphore. I hope this article was somewhat entertaining and educational. All I can tell you about eidesis is pretty much in the explanation I tried to offer but if you want to form your own opinions then go ahead and read the book yourself. It will be worth your time! Until the next edition of the Critic's Quill then...

    THE END

    By Boustrophedon


    From the Editor's Desk

    We are missing a couple of our regular contributers this month due to Real Life commitments, but in compensation we have the m_1512 Bumper CollectionTM. Also it has been lovely to see SonOfAlexander back after a long absence.

    The Critic's Quill writing team work long and hard to keep you informed about creative writing at TWC. Please give them a big hand (and maybe also some rep): m_1512, Skantarios, Radzeer, wowbanger, Boustrophedon and SonOfAlexander.

    Well that's it for this month.

    Before I go, let me remind you that you can write for the Quill! If what you have read here has stirred your enthusiasm for reviewing, then please do drop me a PM, I'd love to hear from you.

    Juvenal



    By the way, there are many TWC publications and/or creative forums. To try them out just click through the pictures!

    imb39 ...is my daddy!
    See AARtistry in action: Spite of Severus and Severus the God

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  3. #3
    Boustrophedon's Avatar Grote Smurf
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    Yay it's here! Damn what a big fatty this issue has become hehe. I daresay this is the largest issue to date! Great work work to all you guys in the CQ team, especially "m" who has made a huge effort for this edition and Juvenal for once again compiling all of this I'll be spreading rep around like crazy!

  4. #4
    m_1512's Avatar Quomodo vales?
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    My personal theory is that he is now being remotely-controlled by an alien master-race bent upon world-domination

    Maybe the Predators



    I should cut down on the cheap vodka.
    I would recommend Smirnoff or Romanov...


  5. #5

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    Outstanding efforts, as usual! Many thanks to M for reviewing my AAR!

  6. #6
    Tim1988's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    Another great episode, always a delight to read. Keep up the good work
    My Old AARs:
    Uniting a Kingdom - A M2TW:Kingdoms Britannia Campaign
    The Greatest Battles of General Sir Lionel Townshend - A DarthMod Empire Campaign
    Tales of an Old Soldier - A series of DMUC Battles
    My Image Gallery:
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  7. #7
    dezikeizer's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    Great issue as always, and very nice job in particular in all the articles.

  8. #8
    Merula's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    In answer to Skantarios' review:

    I like it a lot, it really gave me an idea as to where i want this to go next.

    I am an native English speaker, from Australia, but can be lazy with my grammer sometimes, and autocheck spelling sometimes stuffs up too which is annoying.

    I am playing H/H, but the reason that i keep winning battles is that, one; Im quite good at TW games and two; there is a bug in the recruitment for the Western Roman armies, causing them to only recruit low level units. I am in the process of fixing this at the moment.

    Oh and Vithimer is a Goth

    So thankyou very much for reviewing my work, really helpful!


    Blip

  9. #9
    Ganbarenippon's Avatar Protector Domesticus
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    To say I was thrilled when I read Radzeer's review is a little like saying a typhoon is a tad damp. I was (and still am) ecstatic! So firstly I would like to thank my good friend Radzeer for the effort he put into this. It is appreciated and a great boost to motivation!

    The idea behind the fictional history was partly because I've always wanted to try something like that, and partly for practical reasons. Namely, the Bosporan Kingdom starts in such weak position that it is very difficult to go for the blitz strategy that is so successful in some other AAR's or with other factions. So I needed SOMETHING to fill those early chapters! It was also largely something that I did for my own enjoyment, and I was thrilled when I realised people were actually following it. I was worried the names may get confusing, or the lack of action at the beginning might turn some people off, and to a certain extent I am sure it has, but as it stands I don't think I would change the way I did it, it was just too much fun!

    I was also extremely happy with some of the suggestions for improvement. The prose style is something that I am seriously looking to tweak. The interview-style is something I wanted to try, and I wouldn't say it has failed, but it certainly makes some areas very challenging to write, such as dialogues. I will never scrap the interview-style as the major way of presenting things, but I will definitely be looking to mix some other styles in there. Most likely after book one (Paerisades II) is completed. The captioning is something I have unashamedly pirated from our illustrious editor's "Severus..." series. I think the point about it not yet meshing with the account of the battle is well-made. I am still tweaking this too.

    I am most definitely in this for the long-haul. I plan on keeping this going for a long while yet, and things like this just encourage me to keep going. There is no fixed end-point in mind just now. I have some boxes I would like to check along the way but that's about it. Anyhow, back to the script! (Radzeer, that cheque is in the mail...).
    Last edited by Ganbarenippon; August 06, 2011 at 09:29 AM.

  10. #10
    Borissomeone's Avatar Citizen
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    Wanted to stop by and say thank you for the kind and fair review. I'm nearly done writing the final part...two years of my life coming to an end. So many tales are started and many never finished, but after such a long period I have to finish what I've started. Thanks again.

    Under the Patronage of TheFirstONeill.

  11. #11
    ReD_OcToBeR's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    I like how SoA touched on the Total Wars Era page. It's what started it all in my opinion and deserves a little glimmer of light every now and then.

  12. #12

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    Another great issue! I still have stuff to read even that I had a few days headstart...

  13. #13
    Juvenal's Avatar love your noggin
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    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 28

    If you have enjoyed this issue, then please consider visiting Critic's Quill Issue 29, newly published.

    (Of course if you didn't like it, then maybe you should come over anyway to see if we've improved at all. )
    imb39 ...is my daddy!
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