The "Dear Woman" Video

[chriscase]

A group of men (apparently under the guidance of some therapists) recorded and issued this video statement a while ago:



The tone is really "new-age"-ey, complete with verdant hot springs spa backdrops and cheesy narcoleptic music. I was expecting a boatload of essentialism, mysticism, and placement of "The Feminine" firmly on a pedastal. When I listen to the video closely, I notice that it does not go quite that far. My wife hates the video - she thinks the guys in it look like psychotic weirdos.

The thing is, I have known a lot of guys in this business and their hearts really are in the right place. Also I can see the therapeutic intent for at least making a statement like this. It can be a useful tool for someone with issues to confront those issues in this way. However, if this is just something to help these guys in their therapy, why put it on youtube? There is different argument there, I suppose.

And then there is the question whether their efforts to atone for the wrongs done to women might not be better directed toward today's real victims. Of course the video itself does not prove these men don't do other things that are of more immediate use to women in need.

Among the various criticisms out there, I think the best one is that this video appears to lack a fundamental awareness that women and men actually belong to the same species. In this sense, their apology reeks of gender distance, not shared humanity.

Thoughts?

By the way, Will Ferrel did a parody. If you have actually watched the original video, it's pretty funny.

[Denny Crane!]

Yeah that was pretty awful and rather than actual insight and contemplation of the human condition all I got was a lot of wishy washy pseudo insight.

"I commit to a mascuilinity that honours us and celebrates us as equals..."

"A deeper apprecition of dualities....we can create greate miracles together"

If I was describe this how I truly feel about it without trying to sound clever I'd say it sounds like a load of bollocks.

[Mortality]

Damn male feminists.

[Taiji]

Self-hating misogynists make me lol

(It's possible to be a man without being nasty to women, honestly )

[chriscase]

Yeah, but I think the basic intent, if one were to strip away the irrelevant and misleading elements, is a good one.

[Denny Crane!]

Yeah, but I think the basic intent, if one were to strip away the irrelevant and misleading elements, is a good one.

I'll be honest I simply could not make it more than two minutes into the video. It was like being mentally raped with all that crap language and vague concepts coupled with vomit inducing horridness.

[chriscase]

I'll be honest I simply could not make it more than two minutes into the video. It was like being mentally raped with all that crap language and vague concepts coupled with vomit inducing horridness.

lol

One of the funnier comments on youtube was that watching this video made the viewer feel as though he'd just been sexually molested and then asked to point out on the doll where he'd been touched.

[Visna]

What a bunch of freaks. On behalf of my gender, we will forgive them anything and everything if they will just shut the up.

[The Dude]

Yeah, but I think the basic intent, if one were to strip away the irrelevant and misleading elements, is a good one.

They may believe their intent is good but doing away with traditional masculinity like they want to do serves little purpose in the end and may in fact be destructive. A sharp difference between genders is precisely the dichotomy that mankind requires to prosper, so I don't exactly support all this equality rubbish.

[chriscase]

They may believe their intent is good but doing away with traditional masculinity like they want to do serves little purpose in the end and may in fact be destructive. A sharp difference between genders is precisely the dichotomy that mankind requires to prosper, so I don't exactly support all this equality rubbish.

Actually I think they are going too far when they deify gender into "The Masculine" and "The Feminine". That's where someone like Bernie Chapin can rake them over the coals and position himself as the advocate for common humanity:



I also have some grave doubts about how we can blame all the crimes of men against women on "The Uncounscious Masculine". It seems like a euphemistic excuse. "Yeah that was really awful, but those guys were just not conscious like we are. We're the good guys now, you can trust us." Of course if we point out that rapists and murderers do indeed appear to be conscious - in fact, without consciousness it's not possible to form intent, and without intent neither of those crimes exists - I wonder what the response would be. Most likely a No True Scotsman defense.

[boofhead]

I don't apologize for being masculine. My wife likes me that way.

Those guys sound like a bunch of fairies. My wife would think so too, I'm sure.

[Portuguese Rebel]

Those guys are really desperate to get laid...

Then annoying BS about energies and such.

Then they apologize for the GENDER... Screw that, you are hereby not authorized to apologize for me. I treat all the women in my life with respect. And i'm still waiting for the apology of women for their annoying habit of talking too much and the that goddamn PMS...

And: "return the heart to our justice system".... WTF... These guys are just asking to be invaded

Would like to see how they handle their women. My bet is that they are wither full of or they allow them to step all over them...

[CamilleBonparte]

How terribly nihilistic.

[The Million Dollar Prons]

Dude did you see that dude's hair at 3:10? IT was so sick I almost forgot he's a total limp.

But yeah this video sucks, except the part where that chick was on fire that was awesome. I think I'll make a youtube video of me reading John Norman's Gor series just to bring balance to the internet.

[Pontifex Maximus]

What's the point of that video? I don't get it.

I think the worst part here is that he tried to respond to the parody and did so in a decidedly so-awkward-I-want-to-stop-watching-but-can't-because-I-wanna-see-what-he'll-do-next kind of way.

[chriscase]

What's the point of that video? I don't get it.

I think the worst part here is that he tried to respond to the parody and did so in a decidedly so-awkward-I-want-to-stop-watching-but-can't-because-I-wanna-see-what-he'll-do-next kind of way.

Yeah. He seems to want to roll with it but just can't quite figure out how.

As far as the point of the original video, it's not hard to see, at least from my perspective. There are lots of crimes - present and past - perpetrated by men against women. Really, against men, women, and children, but by men. There's not much disputing that. The academic discussion pales quite drastically if you find yourself face to face with a gang rape victim.

It really sucks. For everyone. But as men in therapy, these guys - some of them likely in relationship with rape victims - feel a need to say something about being a man in the face of this history of violence. So this is something to say. It's not perfect - hell, I don't even think it's particularly good - but it's something positive that acknowledges the wrongs and clearly states a sincere intent to make things right.

Other than that, it's total .

Heh I added a poll just for fun.

[Adrian]

Why should I feel responsible for what others have done?

I support true equality, but these guys don't want equality it seems, they put to much emphasis on femininity and the like and masculine guilt.

We should put more emphasis on humanity what it is to be human and take pride in that, not this bs.

[Portuguese Rebel]

He was surprised people thought they are gay? Seriously, he has a "men's group" and he is surprised about it? And another thing, the "average man in America"? Not only they are weirdos who feel guilty for what others have done, but they also fill the stereotype of the american who thinks only americans can write in english and visit youtube.

I'm sorry for this dude, but the homophobia was bound to come out when you behave like a fruity wanting to spread the love in a video with other men who say they are fascinated by the "sacred feminine" like a bunch of fools who got a Da Vinci Code overdose!

[Gromovnik]

These guys will never get any.

[Col. Tartleton]

I am deeply sorry my penis is not naturally ribbed for your pleasure and that I (rarely) curse you out when you deserve it, and have even felt the urge to hit you (despite not doing so) when you intentionally go out of your way to push my buttons. I am sorry I have body hair and smell of fine cigars and leather bound books; that my mouth tastes of cheap whiskey and the saliva of prostitutes. I am sorry that I feel that it is my duty to defend you from harm and insult and support you when you do not need me to. I am sorry that you are forced to bear the young of our species and that I only have to support them until their age of majority...

Come on...