want to make a new religion

**~~Legiondude~~** · March 19, 2006, 10:00 AM

Well, I have been thinking, I have worked and worked, and you don't get that much money from it...

So I've been thinking to start a new religion...

I don't know what it is to be about or anything, I just know I'm gonna make money..

If you want to join my sceem, or have any ideas for what it is to be based on, or what it is to be in the sence of cermoneys and stuff, please let me know....

Soon the money will be flowing in............

**Mathias** · March 19, 2006, 11:57 AM

I think all religions is bullcrap, but if there is money to be made Im in.

Can I be this religion's messia?

**mongoose** · March 19, 2006, 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by Mathias

I think all religions is bullcrap, but if there is money to be made Im in

Me too. Legion would be the Messiah, but is the job of High Priest taking yet? I'll write some kick ass rules.

**Mathias** · March 19, 2006, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by mongoose

Me too. Legion would be the Messiah, but is the job of High Priest taking yet?

Ok he can be the messiah and you can be the High priest, but what should I be? a prophet?

**mongoose** · March 19, 2006, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by Mathias

Ok he can be the messiah and you can be the High priest, but what should I be? a prophet?

How about the second High-priest?

Anyway, here's our creation myth...theory!

Mongoose 1:1
In the begining, there was only [Name of God, not determined yet], and he was good.
1:2
Then, he created man, both male and then female, in some image that he pulled out of his divine colon.
1:3
He then created a globe of dirt, which he called the earth. He sent water across it, and man drownd and died out. This was 2000 years ago.
1:4
Then, he parted the waters, and created man AGAIN.
1:5
He then created the animals and plants, but only too late, for man had already died of hunger.
1:6
He created man AGAIN, in the same image as before.
1:7
Then, he went down to speak to man and said "I have created thee, tho shall be as a sychopant towards me"
1:8
When one man, named [???] asked why, he smote him, and then spoke in his booming voice "to seek knowledge is a great Sin, though shall only worship me, and follow with out thinking"

Not very interesting, but we need some kind of creation story.

**The White Knight** · March 19, 2006, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by mongoose

How about the second High-priest?

Anyway, here's our creation myth...theory!

Mongoose 1:1
In the begining, there was only [Name of God, not determined yet], and he was good.
1:2
Then, he created man, both male and then female, in some image that he pulled out of his divine colon.
1:3
He then created a globe of dirt, which he called the earth. He sent water across it, and man drownd and died out. This was 2000 years ago.
1:4
Then, he parted the waters, and created man AGAIN.
1:5
He then created the animals and plants, but only too late, for man had already died of hunger.
1:6
He created man AGAIN, in the same image as before.
1:7
Then, he went down to speak to man and said "I have created thee, tho shall be as a sychopant towards me"
1:8
When one man, named [???] asked why, he smote him, and then spoke in his booming voice "to seek knowledge is a great Sin, though shall only worship me, and follow with out thinking"

Not very interesting, but we need some kind of creation story.

I prefer a group of cruel pagan deities. Something in the lines of:

"The great earth-snake [name1] fought long with the long-haired goddess of fertility [name2]. The great earth-snake won and the head of the goddess [name2] formed the earth. Her hairs became the water, her lice became men."

Whaddayathink?

**LSJ** · March 19, 2006, 12:01 PM

As long as you appear to believe it yourself then you may gather followers, like the type of people who follow Scientology after reading a book.
There are so many religions that any that you come up with are just as valid. The only thing that you can't do in a religion scheme is make everyone have a mass suicide so their souls will be brought back to the mothership.

I have my own religion that I skeptical about.

It is just my personal beliefs built by experiences. If anyone else wants to buy a book about it, its not a scam because they know what they are getting into.

**Mathias** · March 19, 2006, 12:03 PM

We need money to build a church.
In a vision I had, God said to me that the roof had to be in golden plates, to resemble his glory....

**Sétanta** · March 19, 2006, 12:05 PM

Nah you guys wanna be pagan, that way you can be gods, not just messiahs.

maybe you should move to alaska and turn it into a utah type place. if you know what i mean

**Drexxus Maximus** · March 19, 2006, 12:07 PM

Lol great idea, I've thought about this myself over the years. Theres a sucker born every minute so why not cash in on it.

The only problem is that if this one ever took off you'll always have this thread proving it's a fake...do this in secret

Thats if you are actually serious about it lol.

Originally Posted by Mudd

Nah you guys wanna be pagan, that way you can be gods, not just messiahs.

Excellent idea, I like it

Messiahs are boring, much more interesting having multiple Deities. I got dibs on God of Wine and Lust!

**Elu Barcino** · March 19, 2006, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by Drexx

Lol great idea, I've thought about this myself over the years. Theres a sucker born every minute so why not cash in on it.

The only problem is that if this one ever took off you'll always have this thread proving it's a fake...do this in secret

Thats if you are actually serious about it lol.

Why not just make it forbidden for the followers to look on TWC (and then he could just break the rules and go on here anyway).

**Perikles** · March 19, 2006, 12:05 PM

For an RE project my mate stated a religion where we got to carry guns around, didn't get very far though. He failed his project!
Can I be your missionary?

**Mathias** · March 19, 2006, 12:57 PM

God has spoken to me in a dream "You humans have made up lies about me and worshipped non-excisting deities, now you shall suffer for your ignorance and only by following me, the true God can, and my rules can you reach true salvation and come into paradise or else you are doomed to eternal pain and suffering".

Does that sound convincing?