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Thread: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

  1. #1
    StealthEvo's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Day 0: We iz Gwarning on an adventure, killin yo Bhaals Spawns

    To those that are not familar with the madness behind the method that is a StealthEvo AAR, please click Challenge Accepted link in my signituare to familarise yourself with the sheer epicness that is about to unfound. But. I am not alone is this adventure. No I am teaming up with someone almost as Awesome and Sexy and naturally almost as useless as myself. Detective "ing" Mittens

    This day we have started a game of Baldurs Gate Tutu which is the only mod worth playing Baldurs Gate with. In short. It's sex on a ing stick. Myself and "ing" Mittens are both compentant players of this game, having done in short at least two full run throughs collectively. However as we both found out today our skillz are not what we recalled and despite our impressive team work. The game seemed harder then we remembered it probably due to our own design. Rather then the game itself.

    But in short we have now progressed to a point in which, come this friday we are happy to taking screenshots and showing them to the public as our meagre party prepares to enter the Friendly Arm Inn for the first time. Taking the chaotic adventure into consideration it took just to get to the Inn and the thirty seven reloads it took to get there. It's going to be a long road trip to get anywhere meaning it's more fun for you guys right. Watching two totally awesome shirtless dude's with questionable states of sanity doing something potentially relationship destroying as a co-op campaign.

    However with such explosive personalities and so much awesome squeezed into a single game it's bound to be a an interesting few weeks/months/years ahead of us. We would love for you to join in and take part. Not literally of course. That would be totally cramping on our style. So if you decide to want to join our little adventure. Which we have space for ny the way like four entire slots. You will need to go above and beyond anything you've ever done before. Just to even be slightly considered. This is special. MLG baldurs gate tutu ONLY

    We are taking this seriously and roleplaying everything as we go. So this is srs ing business yeh?

    BUT Without further ado.

    Rules

    Lol screw the rules. I have rep. Standard D and D Core Rulez/Tutu Style.

    Characters

    In this AAR and adventure to claim the Throne of Bhaal. Or at least in the short term interim hit on my Half Sister and up my Half Brother Bhaal style. That being with two swords and RAEGGGGGGGGGGGG.

    Shard The Angry is a unique Elven Beserker, stricken by rage and depression and emoness and the lack of touching in special places by other Elven maidens. In short. Like my fellow Roleplayers, the most sterotypical Elf ever made. Except unlike other brooding protagonists with extensive and heroic back story. Shard the Angry is a Chaotic Neutral alignment, which basically means i can do what ever the I want and play the Roleplay card claiming it was in character. This has already annoyed "ing" Mittens when i decided that Shard the Angry took 'offence' to Xzars breathing and decided to end him and his friends life. At which point the complaint raised was. OMG HOW WAS THAT IN CHARACTER. Chaotic Neutral. I love it!

    But in the spirit of developing an extensive plot. Born twin score years prior to the start of the adventure that would soon claim his life. Shard McAwesometon soon to be named Shard the Angry was raised in the library citedal of Candlekeep. Wherin his inability to pay attention to any of his lessons caused his mighty chest to swell with RAEG. Then Gorion his awesome foster father decided to take a journey to some random place. Little did Shard know that his life would soon be thrown into sterotypical chaos that would challenge his very psychological make up and turn him into the D and D equivilent of Sasuke Uchiha.

    Arming himself with the twin short swords +0 Anger and Fury, The Helm of RAEG and the Armour of the fallen Drow; Shard the Angry looked up from his foster fathers dead body. Took a lung and bit into it. Feeling the Osmosis of nutrients from the blood infuse with his own. Adding no positive effects what so ever and potentially giving him a variety of STD's since Gorion was blaytently a player. He heard the soft caressing voice of his soon to be revealed as Half Sister Imoen Shard turned, subdueing his rage and uttered two simple words.

    "Daddies Home"

    Dectective Mitten's Character however is called Steve.

    So with a spell binding narrative and two hard core old skool gamers taking the very limits of this game and your sanity to the edge. StealthEvo and Detective "ing" Mittens present.

    [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    You will however have to wait until like friday for any future updates. As I have work and well Mittens is probably off doing something. I actually don't know. We will be around to answer questions.



  2. #2

    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    It was either this or filming it, and the latter would have taken far too long.

    Bit about my character: Steve is a monk.
    Want to know what I think?
    No?
    Well then, one less thought for you.

  3. #3
    Pinkie Pie's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    I have no idea what game is and i have no idea what the mod s about but as it has you stealth it is now considered awesome.
    All hail stealth and his new AAR about a crazy elf.
    If you make me wait too long though i will have to ruin your AAR by getting blood on it

    Thats right Stealth, ima gonna beat you with a fish and then behead you.
    Last edited by Pinkie Pie; May 14, 2011 at 04:19 AM.
    "I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!"
    "Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruinee! Or is it ruinness? Ruinette?"
    "She's ahead of the litter all right. The pick of the litter. The cat's pajamas. Oh wait. Why would Applejack take some poor kitty's pj's? That's not very sporting of her."
    "More balloons! No, that's too many balloons. More candy! No, less candy. Ooh! I know! Streamers!"
    "Oh my gosh. Hold on to your hooves I am just about to be brilliant!"

  4. #4
    StealthEvo's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Quote Originally Posted by martin616 View Post
    I have no idea what game is and i have no idea what the mod s about but as it has you stealth it is now considered awesome.
    All hail stealth and his new AAR about a crazy elf. and steve
    If you make me wait too long though i will have to ruin your AAR by getting blood on it

    Thats right Stealth, ima gonna beat you with a fish and then behead you.

  5. #5
    Pinkie Pie's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    MY bad
    Mittens i have erred, will you ever forgive me.
    "I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!"
    "Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruinee! Or is it ruinness? Ruinette?"
    "She's ahead of the litter all right. The pick of the litter. The cat's pajamas. Oh wait. Why would Applejack take some poor kitty's pj's? That's not very sporting of her."
    "More balloons! No, that's too many balloons. More candy! No, less candy. Ooh! I know! Streamers!"
    "Oh my gosh. Hold on to your hooves I am just about to be brilliant!"

  6. #6

    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Quote Originally Posted by martin616 View Post
    MY bad
    Mittens i have erred, will you ever forgive me.
    There may be a possibility that I might forgive you, but I'm not revealing the details.
    Want to know what I think?
    No?
    Well then, one less thought for you.

  7. #7
    Pinkie Pie's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    There are details? This is intriguing, i shall have to be most persuasive.

    tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me NOW!!!
    "I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!"
    "Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruinee! Or is it ruinness? Ruinette?"
    "She's ahead of the litter all right. The pick of the litter. The cat's pajamas. Oh wait. Why would Applejack take some poor kitty's pj's? That's not very sporting of her."
    "More balloons! No, that's too many balloons. More candy! No, less candy. Ooh! I know! Streamers!"
    "Oh my gosh. Hold on to your hooves I am just about to be brilliant!"

  8. #8
    StealthEvo's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Day 1: How Baldurs Gate SHOULD be played


    Tune of the day.






    And so it begins. Our tale commences as our two lackadaisical heros enter the Friendly Arm Inn. Having been pushed in that direction thanks to Shard eating Gorions lungs and proclaiming to have developed some magic ability. Such as being able to break the 4th wall at will and at times checking GameFaq's for anything that his awe inspiring new magical abilities might have missed. Having accidently disposed of an Ogre that Shard the Angry thought was his long lost brother. The pair, armed with a Sex Change belt and what ever booze they could find gate crashed the Inn.



    However being stopped by a Bounty Hunter/Bouncer in dark robes Shard the Angry let his raeg consume his being and soon turned the hapless warlock into a soup... Of which he sampled the lungs to further his non existant magical ability. We rejoin the action as the pair enter the tavern for the first time...



    Shard: Whats Gwarning SAFE TINGS RAEEEEEEEEEEEG!



    Here we have the sacred meeting of the Out of character variety. Naturally, both myself and Mitten being from England this is how we start our day. Our mating calls scream loudly in hopes of attracting a mate. Or in this case, letting each other know that we are in a state of soberity.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    A heroic insight into the true power that is Shard; The Angry currently under the effects of his Life consuming RAEG I figured for those of you (which seems like a lot) that have no idea what this game is. I would explain a few numbers. That -2 is Armour class. Lower = Better. THACO (To hit Armour Class 0[Zero]) Is the hit percentage for lack of a better word. So in short, assuming that Shards Main Hand THACO is 14 and that the game uses a 20 sided dice. If the RNJ rolls a 14 or HIGHER on an armour class of 0 they get hit on the 2d6 (i think) a standard shortsword has. But if the bad gaiz have an armour class higher then 0 the THACO gets lowered accordingly, an armour class of 2 means the THACO is 12, and an armour class of -2 means the THACO is 16. Got it. Good. Just understand that it's all kinds of sexy. And the pursuit of Lower THACO is ever a persistant challenge



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Cunningly singingly FALALALALALA to avoid the instructions that would save my life. Inshort, don't up.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    My excuse was he farted in the royal presence.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    But then I changed it for legitmancy purposes.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Then Jaheria decided she wanted to try and start on us. Needless to say. Unlike other mere level 1's. Shard is actually capable of laying down a beatdown.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Khalid soon follows the path his wife took for him. Oh yeh. I went there.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Oh noez, sisterly booty is running away. Apparently random murder disagree's with her.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Suddenly realising that he forgot the strongest person in the room until last Shard decides to let everyone know this.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Magic soon betters Shard, leaving Steve to save the day...



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    sake steve...



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Thankfully avoiding any further damage due to confusion based injuries Steve tries to explain that he was only pretending to be confused.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    However his plan soon backfires...heh fire



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Shard getting his fight on. Hopefully the Mage has been tired out by the constant use of flame arrows and random confusion spells. IT'S ING GWARN



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    That for those that dont know. Is the death screen. When the Protagonist (Shard The Angry) dies no matter who else in your party (Steve ECT) the game ends and you have to reload your last save. Luckily it has a pretty good auto save function. Which I happily abuse.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Throwing in some Dungeons and Dragons SHOUT OUT. First one to actually get that references. Will get rep. Not just any rep. But Sexy Stealth Evolution rep. Post the reference in a reply BELOOOOOOOW



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Someones getting Raegy....



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    [Picture Removed Due to ToS Violation - Mod]



    It gets worse...



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    [Picture Removed Due to ToS Violation - Mod]



    OH NOEZ THE TRUTH COMES OUT



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Oops...



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    And they are dead again, for the second time.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Followed by MOAR CONFUSION!!!!



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 






    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    How we get our adventuring on.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    More rationale explanations for why no progress has been made in the last two hours.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Breaking the 4th wall.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    800 experience. Well. 800 devided by three IE party membership is 266 ish. You see why I have issue's wth letting more people in the party.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    More in character Banter. Apparently my attempt at manners was not well resolved. Despite Steve being a floor down....Someone can't Roleplay here and it aint me



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    The first step to acquiring the BEST WEAPON THE ENTIRE TRILOGY. The golden pantaloons.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    How people get their quests on in the Forgotten Realms. Being too ing lazy to do it yourself. So they pay Mercenaries no matter their skill level or thoughts towards murder.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Me accidentally losing the Pantaloons...



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    I got mad...So I hit him once with swords, hoping to give him a nudge in the right direction



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Then I had to kill the guy who gave me a job. Because, you know. He saw me kill the nobleman.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Then I realized that Shards Sexy half Sister was actually a thief.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    [Picture Removed Due to ToS Violation-Mod]



    Here we go again!



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Not the best thief...



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    ing useless. Failed to steal anything then not only missed, BUT CRITICALLY MISSED. What did you do darling. Punch the wall?!



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    So I bail everyone out again and once again we are back with everyone read to fight us the second they see us. So obviously retail therapy is needed!



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    I cave and decide to let them in the party.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Steve has a surprising solution to having to listen to the Half Elf Stutter



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Shard repays him by buying a 900 (insert currency) suit of armour for himself taking 90% of the parties money in doing so. Money that should have been spent on food.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Trying to one shot a brother and failing. By one health point. He then turns beserk. TRYING TO FIGTH RAEG WITH RAEG EH.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Steve as always has something of no value to add to any situation we find ourselves in.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Killed. Then kicked out the party for being useless. What kind of party member just falls down dead. jeez. Quality of mercenaries these days.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Steve arguing that Khalid was of some use. I simply explained that he was already the meat shield. Things got slightly heated.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Things got very heated.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    No amount of Kung Fu will save you from SHARD THE ANGRY RAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG. Shard then dug out a lung and tasted it. It was bitter. Like the sore loser Steve was.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Steve then revived himself long enough to write in his journal. Here we have his last thoughts before he started on Shard.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

  9. #9
    Pinkie Pie's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Hehehehe, i still have no idea what game or what mod your on but its fun to read
    "I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!"
    "Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruinee! Or is it ruinness? Ruinette?"
    "She's ahead of the litter all right. The pick of the litter. The cat's pajamas. Oh wait. Why would Applejack take some poor kitty's pj's? That's not very sporting of her."
    "More balloons! No, that's too many balloons. More candy! No, less candy. Ooh! I know! Streamers!"
    "Oh my gosh. Hold on to your hooves I am just about to be brilliant!"

  10. #10
    StealthEvo's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    You honestly have no idea what Baldurs Gate is?

  11. #11
    Pinkie Pie's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Not a clue.
    On a side note, do you plan on letting anyone live?
    "I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!"
    "Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruinee! Or is it ruinness? Ruinette?"
    "She's ahead of the litter all right. The pick of the litter. The cat's pajamas. Oh wait. Why would Applejack take some poor kitty's pj's? That's not very sporting of her."
    "More balloons! No, that's too many balloons. More candy! No, less candy. Ooh! I know! Streamers!"
    "Oh my gosh. Hold on to your hooves I am just about to be brilliant!"

  12. #12
    StealthEvo's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Yeah....Eventually...I'M ROLEPLAYING!!!!!!!!!!

  13. #13
    Pinkie Pie's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    I would love to meet the person you let live, you even killed your husband.
    "I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!"
    "Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruinee! Or is it ruinness? Ruinette?"
    "She's ahead of the litter all right. The pick of the litter. The cat's pajamas. Oh wait. Why would Applejack take some poor kitty's pj's? That's not very sporting of her."
    "More balloons! No, that's too many balloons. More candy! No, less candy. Ooh! I know! Streamers!"
    "Oh my gosh. Hold on to your hooves I am just about to be brilliant!"

  14. #14
    StealthEvo's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    No. I killed someone else's Husband three times. Then kicked him out of the group for you know. Being dead. He's kinda useless if he's dead.

  15. #15
    Pinkie Pie's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Quote Originally Posted by StealthEvo View Post
    No. I killed someone else's Husband three times. Then kicked him out of the group for you know. Being dead. He's kinda useless if he's dead.
    I was talking about mittens (Steve), you two argue like a married couple
    "I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!"
    "Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruinee! Or is it ruinness? Ruinette?"
    "She's ahead of the litter all right. The pick of the litter. The cat's pajamas. Oh wait. Why would Applejack take some poor kitty's pj's? That's not very sporting of her."
    "More balloons! No, that's too many balloons. More candy! No, less candy. Ooh! I know! Streamers!"
    "Oh my gosh. Hold on to your hooves I am just about to be brilliant!"

  16. #16

    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Quote Originally Posted by martin616 View Post
    I was talking about mittens (Steve), you two argue like a married couple
    Well, do you think that you could co-operate with Stealth for more than 1 hour, he is incredibly testing.
    Want to know what I think?
    No?
    Well then, one less thought for you.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Of course i could, hes like a cute little puppy wanting attention. Just hit him on the head with a newspaper
    "I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!"
    "Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruinee! Or is it ruinness? Ruinette?"
    "She's ahead of the litter all right. The pick of the litter. The cat's pajamas. Oh wait. Why would Applejack take some poor kitty's pj's? That's not very sporting of her."
    "More balloons! No, that's too many balloons. More candy! No, less candy. Ooh! I know! Streamers!"
    "Oh my gosh. Hold on to your hooves I am just about to be brilliant!"

  18. #18

    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Quote Originally Posted by martin616 View Post
    Of course i could, hes like a cute little puppy wanting attention. Just hit him on the head with a newspaper
    Unfortunatly in this AAR, I am limited to no-armour and no-weapons (apart from a sling and Scimitar), while Stealth is allowed to Dual-Wield and is not so much "limited". So I think hitting him over the head with a newspaper will lead to more deaths.
    Want to know what I think?
    No?
    Well then, one less thought for you.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    Can you have more deaths considering hes trying to kill everyone?
    "I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!"
    "Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruinee! Or is it ruinness? Ruinette?"
    "She's ahead of the litter all right. The pick of the litter. The cat's pajamas. Oh wait. Why would Applejack take some poor kitty's pj's? That's not very sporting of her."
    "More balloons! No, that's too many balloons. More candy! No, less candy. Ooh! I know! Streamers!"
    "Oh my gosh. Hold on to your hooves I am just about to be brilliant!"

  20. #20

    Default Re: [Baldurs Gate Tutu AAR]How not to play with Tutu's

    As Shard is the protagonist, it doesn't really matter if I die. But I have an 11 on my wisdom score, whilst my companion only has 9. I might be of use.
    Want to know what I think?
    No?
    Well then, one less thought for you.

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