The Macedonians decide to try their luck against Captain Meidias's detachment, sent to guard the Bosporus while Idomeneos's army gets a much-needed retraining.
Fortunately, their force is smaller than normal... but so is ours, with none of the leadership of a Pergamene general. Though, given Idomeneos's shameful performance in his last battle, perhaps that's no bad thing.
Meidias isn't presented with too many problems; his opposite number orders in the frontal attacks so favoured by the Macedonians on this battlefield.
Unfortunately, Captain Antiphon does possess some degree of tactical nous, sending infantry around to flank our unusually short line.
Nothing much comes of it, however, as our blood brethren from across the Aegean Pond don't seem to be interested in doing much except run, die, and defecate themselves.
Too bad we don't have any cavalry, or even a suicidal Pergamene general and his bodyguard...
Still, the invasion is repulsed by a garrison never intended to see action on the field of battle. Not bad...
Over in the East, Pidytes has finally scraped together enough men to strike north into the Pontic lands in a limited offensive operation, seeking to take advantage of their recent bloodying in Nicomedia. He lacks the numbers to conquer them, but he should be able to cause some trouble and build up a reputation of his own.
He's learnt the value of good archers from his father and so thus most of his force have bows; unfortunately, the Persians seem disinclined to move.
They're probably quivering in terror, wondering what the son of the feared Iobates might do to their land and their women.
This terror seems to stupefy them into standing still as Pidytes moves his archers into range, grumbling over the lack of long-range Syrians or Cretans. He'd need much more than a crowbar and a silver tongue to pry them from his father's army, though.
As their skirmishers leg it, some of their infantry tries a limited attack.
Over on our left flank, a bunch of militia try to flank our phalanx.
The skilled Pergamene phalanx is so disdainful of this rabble that they neatly reorder their line unhurriedly. The rest of the Pontic army has had enough and runs for the border.
It's not decisive, but it's whittling down their forces. With this few men, however, Pidytes doubts he can win a decisive engagement.
Down south, King Iobates decides to shoo off a Seleucid army led by a bloke whose name I refuse to type, given that I would probably have to check back to this screenshot constantly to see if I've got it right.
A rocky feature in the middle of the battlefield will disrupt any formation attempting to pass through. Iobates starts to recount a few of his previous battles involving similar features. His bodyguard know it's the last thing they might hear...
The armies move within skirmishing range.
Whomp. These militia will need replacing soon, but they can still hold the battle line steadily enough against unsupported hoplites.
The Seleucids seem rather non-committal today...
Agyraspids get stuck in...
...but our experienced phalanx easily holds long enough for our cavalry to hammer into the anvil.
Elsewhere, another phalangite takes a heavy beating from pila before the thorakitai charge.
They're soon driven off by another hammer-and-anvil. Iobates likes all this textbook stuff.
One of the few remaining Seleucid infantry units chuck their pila at our slingers. Iobates is fast becoming to view these slingers as inferior to archers anyhow, and plans to ship them off to Pidytes so he can replace them with locally-raised Syrian archers.
The rest of the Seleucid army, having run out of popcorn, buggers off.
Not a decisive victory; that captain of theirs survives, and so the threat of me actually having to write his name persists.
Pidytes reinforces his army with locally levied Greeks and some light cavalry sent by his father before confronting a much smaller Persian force.
Those Bronze Shields can definitely do some damage, but we can run circles around them.
I always thought using light cavalry to pepper phalangites with javelins was a Persian tactic...
They don't seem to like it. Wonder why...
Hardly a glorious victory, but 127 dead Bronze Shields is 127 dead Bronze Shields. Pidytes angrily foams at the mouth for not having killed more, but his bodyguard point-blank refused to follow him in a charge.
After reorganising and reinforcing his army, Iobates marches out to secure his north flank. Yes, those are 1200 armoured phalangites you see in his army. He's finally getting high-quality troops...
The gradient, however, is against them. Iobates blames Akrisias for misinterpreting a sign from the gods, of which he receives over thirty every day. Apparently.
His army can close rapidly, however, and again rocks split the Seleucid force. Going rock-climbing in heavy armour would be thirsty work in this heat...
Ptesion – a mercenary from Baktria, it seems – hurls a chunk of his army into our left flank.
He also sends cataphracts crashing through our rightmost phalanx, which is still standard rank-and-file infantry.
As our phalanx crumbles, the Baktrian sends in infantry to exploit, but Iobates busily gets stuck in while sending his hoplites around to flank, keeping a wary eye on those elephants in the background.
Elsewhere, Agyraspids march up and begin calmly snacking on more of our rank-and-file.
Having dealt with the cataphracts, Iobates charges the Agyraspids' rear with his usual gusto, while his hoplites turn and throw themselves at the thoughtfully exposed arses of more Seleucids.
Ptesion escapes with his life, but any of his men do not.
Oddly, instead of fleeing into Seleucid Mesopotamia, they leg it onto a boat. Unfortunately, the entirety of our puny navy is over on the Aegean coast protecting Pergamon from Macedonian blockades.
Iobates moves south, noting that Sidon is lightly garrisoned and wondering if he can sneakily snatch another Seleucid city. Taking the Levant would certainly solve our economical woes...
We outnumber our foes heavily, and it shows. Pergamene soldiers start making bets on how much urine they'll find soaking the rocks of the Seleucid positions...
It's a bet they'll probably never resolve, as the enemy moves up to higher ground.
Lining up with his centre standing at a rather hilarious forty-degree angle, Iobates marvels at his phalanx's sense of balance while ordering his archers to pour hail down on their opposite numbers.
A sandstorm arrives, failing to conceal the enemy milling around aimlessly. Probably too busy trying to keep their balance.
They shift out of range and don't budge. Iobates sends his slingers forwards to lure them out.
Thorakitai sent to deal with them rout, having dealt only a single casualty.
Captain Arkesilaos decides to get involved personally, only to find that most of his unit has been mysteriously killed to death while he wasn't looking.
Our hoplites' reputation precedes them. At the first sign of a charge, the enemy turns and runs as fast as they can.
Growing impatient, Iobates forms a cavblob and goes hunting.
Most of the Seleucid army also appears to have gone hunting, but in this case it was over the red line in search of a McDonalds or something. Or maybe they're all dead.
The usual chase ensues.
Iobates calls it a 'distinctly average victory'. His phalanx would agree, but they're still staggering around, trying to adjust to not having to stand on a forty-degree slope holding massive sticks in heavy armour.
Realising that his garrison at Antioch is far too weak to hold out while he takes Sidon, the King orders a retreat for retraining. Even so, he will not give up on taking the Levant; the Pergamene economy is ailing, with too many armies to support even with the prosperous Kingdom untouched by war. As long as Idomeneos can hold the Bosporus it will remain so, but we'll have to rely on the offensive operations of Iobates and Pidytes to bring in cash.
Anyhow, here's hoping I can actually get you another update without making you wait ten years... as always, feedback of any kind at all is much appreciated.