Is it immoral to date someone much younger that you?

**hellheaven1987** · March 06, 2011, 10:22 PM

Recently I have watched a movie, which part of the plot is that a 23 years old guy dating a 17 years old high school girl. My friends, who watched that movie together with me, commented that it is morally unacceptable to date someone that have such age gap in between; yet however I cannot find a logical reason why such situation is unacceptable. I mean, there is no law restrict people dating eachothers and it seems there is no harm to date someone much younger than you, so why it is morally unacceptable today?

**Nosjack** · March 06, 2011, 11:13 PM

Depends on the person, different groups have different morals.

Personally, I don't have a problem with it, as long as they love each other and no one gets hurt, I'm all for it.

EDIT: Assuming they're both of age of course.

**Theseus1234** · March 06, 2011, 11:20 PM

Just socially weird is all. Also it's kind of legally pedophilia.
EDIT: Also, xkcd

**Tuor** · March 06, 2011, 11:22 PM

The way I see it, it's can be problematic for a big age gap because you think differently depending on your age, sometimes a lot different and sometimes barely different. It's easier for a person to connect with a person around the same age as them because they have normally experienced the same amount and have similar thought processes. I don't necessarily see anything immoral with a huge age gap myself, though -- as long as they're not dating someone that hasn't gone through puberty or literally become an adult yet. Adult-child/teen relationships just don't seem right to me because it seems like the adult is able to take advantage of the child/teen simply because they have more experience.

As for the 17-26 specifically, I'd have to say that, unless one of the parties is mentally handicapped, I don't see anything immoral about it. The 17 year old can think for himself/herself by then, hopefully.

**Khassaki** · March 07, 2011, 12:32 AM

Originally Posted by hellheaven1987

Recently I have watched a movie, which part of the plot is that a 23 years old guy dating a 17 years old high school girl. My friends, who watched that movie together with me, commented that it is morally unacceptable to date someone that have such age gap in between; yet however I cannot find a logical reason why such situation is unacceptable. I mean, there is no law restrict people dating eachothers and it seems there is no harm to date someone much younger than you, so why it is morally unacceptable today?

17 is very young, though a 26 year old male is also petty stupid. I have no issue with dating but they should not be considering marriage or children for a while.

I'm 50 and my usual girlfriends are 28 to about 40. I don't look my age and women over 40 think I'm too irresponsible and don't take myself seriously enough. Big age gaps are also not an issue either way for me, but no one over about 36 should be considering chilren, mostly because getting old really sucks, and you don't wan that on top of being a geriatric when your kids his their own majority.

**hellheaven1987** · March 07, 2011, 01:05 AM

So what if a 30 years old man is dating a 13 years old innocent girl?

**The Dude** · March 07, 2011, 03:24 AM

17 and 23 borders on acceptable. I'm 24 and couldn't picture myself dating a 17 year old girl at this point, so I guess a 5 year difference is the limit for me. My sister disagrees, though. She has no problems with age gaps of 10+ years.

**Irishpsycho** · March 07, 2011, 03:34 AM

Most of the time, no I dont think age is an important factor. I think that some people want to date older people to help compensate for a lack of guidance as children, specifically parental guidance, and since the closest relationship you can have with an older person other than offsprin is spouse they do that. Although using an older man/woman to compensate for your parents' shortcomings while having sex with them is creepy (think yelling "Oh MOM/DAD!' during sex

or infantilism fetish

) I don't think it's inherently wrong as long as both parties understand and are happy with the relationship.

And about the 13 year old girl and the 30 year old man, she won't be innocent for long now

Eww.

**Himster** · March 07, 2011, 05:52 AM

Originally Posted by Irishpsycho

And about the 13 year old girl and the 30 year old man, she won't be innocent for long now

Eww.

Zing.

Anyway, in my view this issue should be considered in relation to emotional and mental maturity, rather than just physical maturity.

**Vizsla** · March 07, 2011, 06:17 AM

These days it seems that anything that is legal is considered moral.

Once you are both past 20ish then age gaps are not so important. It’s mostly about money and sex and conversational ability.

**Dr. Oza** · March 07, 2011, 03:49 AM

From what i understand, in Sweden, a 70 year old man can get jiggy with a 15 year old girl?

Even though i am a nihilist on bad days and a moral relativist on good ones.. i still think thats pretty

ed up.

**Blau&Gruen** · March 07, 2011, 05:04 AM

Is it immoral to date someone much younger that you?

Excellent question.

Moral is what you define for yourself as moral and that depends on your own moral standards which can be narrower or broader than those of others. I would prefer to separate the moral implications here from one other - according to my understanding more urgent - point. It is a very good question, nevertheless because it hints to an issue we all can be confronted with, that of the responsibility we owe others. When people are too different and that may include a distance of age or another side of their beings, then it may be a question of responsibility more than of morals. To love someone can mean in the perspective of responsibility to avoid anything not to narrow the beloved's life according to the principle 'the other's luck is your luck' dialectically spoken. I mean, how can you experience luck by producing missfortune? You can't in a responsible fashion.

**Khassaki** · March 07, 2011, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by Sipahizade

From what i understand, in Sweden, a 70 year old man can get jiggy with a 15 year old girl?

Even though i am a nihilist on bad days and a moral relativist on good ones.. i still think thats pretty

ed up.

Tokyo Prefecture has no age of consent, so your 70 yo can

a 7 yo legally, and yes that is really

ed up.

**hellheaven1987** · March 07, 2011, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by Khassaki

Tokyo Prefecture has no age of consent, so your 70 yo can

a 7 yo legally, and yes that is really

ed up.

Why not? As long as there is no sexual relationship involve it is legal.

**Khassaki** · March 07, 2011, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by hellheaven1987

Why not? As long as there is no sexual relationship involve it is legal.

There is a sexual relationship, and being Tokyo there are usually eels involved.

**hellheaven1987** · March 07, 2011, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by Khassaki

There is a sexual relationship, and being Tokyo there are usually eels involved.

So you are saying if there is no sexual relationship you are fine with that?

**Col. Tartleton** · March 07, 2011, 05:38 AM

I know several girls who are much too pretty and mature to be anything but friends (actually I think one had a thing for me a few years back but I pushed her away by being a dick, I mean I publically embarrassed her without even considering the possibility of doing so) who only go after significantly older guys. In the case of the one who liked me I'm sure I'm not solely responsible, but we all treated her like

because she was pretty annoying, but in retrospect it was mad harsh since she was pretty chill. Then she moved to the middle east... Then she came back... But I feel like a dick chilling with her because I had been an ass before. Not that I think I traumatized her or anything but she probably equates me with the guy who made fun of her on the school tv in front of everyone several times...

So on topic she bangs older dudes but she's at least as mature as a 20 year old, has been for a while. I'm cool with that. I'm just not sure if I feel bad because I was an ass or because I want to bone her.

**Prodigal** · March 07, 2011, 08:26 AM

If the relationship involves fornication. Then again, if any non-marital relationship involves it, it is immoral.

**Vizsla** · March 07, 2011, 08:37 AM

If the relationship does not involve fornication then, in my view, it is not a relationship.

**MathiasOfAthens** · March 07, 2011, 01:19 PM

There is a gap in maturity at that age. The girl would obviously be less of an adult... but give it 5 years or more and the age gap becomes less of a concern. A 33 year old dating a 27 year old is nothing.