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Thread: Futuristic Military excerpt.

  1. #1

    Default Futuristic Military excerpt.

    A story i'd been thinking about starting for a few years. It's about a group of Marines in the distant future, 2100 or so, who are put on a mission to search and rescue anyone they can from a Military Research lab on a forigen planet. The base's codename is D-5.

    Please feel free to critique it or ask questions.

    The relative calm of D-5's landing bay suddenly burst into a roar of sound as te first "Hell Hound" landing craft touched down. Inside, Lieutenant Hughes and his fast attack squad readied for a quick departure. Sgt Caldwell, the ranking NCO prepared in his own unique way by spitting out a large wad of chewing tobbaco on the floor and replacing it with a mass of chewing gum. The rest of the eight man squad checked and rechecked their weapons as thuroughly as possible.

    As usual, the red light above the exit ramp turned green, indicating the ramp was about to drop.
    "Green Light!" screemed Hughes.
    The Ship shuddred with it's impact into the ground, but as soon as the shock had departed, the squad released from their safety harnesses. The ramp crashed down and the first wave exited with haste,, prepared for a heavy firefight.
    As soon as the fast attack squad had departed, Master Sgt. Zeigler readied himself to lead the rest of the platoon out into the Landing Zone.
    "Let's move!" he screamed after recieving a thumbs up from PFC Young, who was manning the dropship ramp heavy machine gun......

  2. #2

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    these are american marines i take it?

    good start i would say. although don't make the marines be some gruff schmucks like you see in some stories. real marines aren't like that
    The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be used until they try and take it away.
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  3. #3
    Farnan's Avatar Saviors of the Japanese
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    I suggest you speak with a veteran and have him read your novel to make sure the combat is realistic...
    “The nation that will insist upon drawing a broad line of demarcation between the fighting man and the thinking man is liable to find its fighting done by fools and its thinking by cowards.”

    —Sir William Francis Butler

  4. #4

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    although don't make the marines be some gruff schmucks like you see in some stories. real marines aren't like that
    That's what i'm trying to avoid, I've only got 2 characters who would meet that discription....and about 30 that do not.

    I suggest you speak with a veteran and have him read your novel to make sure the combat is realistic...
    That's actualy not a bad idea.
    keep 'em coming!

    It does seem a bit short, but I did just start writing it in my room on a scrap peice of paper after getting bored with my homework.....

    This would not be the very begining of the story, probably in the first quarter of it though.

  5. #5

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    well thats good.

    i would suggest you come up with some really wild but believable technologies. this is 2100 so you never know what the machine guns would be like then, so it leaves some room for creativity. but don't have laser weapons or nuclear bombs that release no radiation or something like that. it has to be believable yet intriguing

    and don't allow spaceships to travel from earth to whatever planet this takes place on in 3 hours. be reasonable realistic in this measure (but not too realistic)
    The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be used until they try and take it away.
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  6. #6
    Farnan's Avatar Saviors of the Japanese
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    Hey, I just thought there are combat veterans on this board you could ask:

    Alcotroll - British Military
    Master Commander - US Army
    Oldgamer
    Rush Limbaugh - USMC...
    “The nation that will insist upon drawing a broad line of demarcation between the fighting man and the thinking man is liable to find its fighting done by fools and its thinking by cowards.”

    —Sir William Francis Butler

  7. #7

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    Yeah Hicks, stay far, far away from laser weapons and super-futuristic crap. Look to Firefly/Serenity for a believable depiction of what weapons will look like in the future.

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  8. #8

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    I was thinking that the heavy machine guns etc used by the dropships would resemble something of a mini-gun used by attack helecopters of today.
    Lighter Assault rifles would be something like an M-16, not in apearance, but in use. It would have attachments such as a grenade launcher or a shotgun below the main barrel.

    I'll draw up something for weapons and uniforms so you can see what I'm thinking.

  9. #9
    Rhah's Avatar S'eer of Fnords
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    If you want to make you Assault rifles realistic, then you'll need them to have some sort of very advanced version of the OICW weapon system, which has laser range finders for the grenade launcher, as well as a computerised sight for tracking targets.
    Also, there will definitly be more robotic weapons platforms.
    to be honest, i doubt that humanity will even do any actual man vs man fighting in 2100, it will be mostly remote controlled or Ai controlled drones. Also, directed energy weapons will play a part (not quite laser's, more like directed microwave's)
    your going to have to be pretty inventive to predict the weapons systems of the future. good luck

    *edit*

    And be careful using things like dropships, otherwise it will end up being more like "Aliens" fan fiction.
    Also, maybe try not to make them US marines. Why not make them North American states Marines, or something like that? Its doubtful the US will still be called the US in 2100. Maybe have them as Mexicans, Americans and Canadians. Controversial i know, but at least its different.
    Last edited by Rhah; February 01, 2006 at 09:54 AM.
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    Denny Crane!'s Avatar Comes Rei Militaris
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    The forever war is essential reading.

    Peter

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    LSJ's Avatar Protector Domesticus
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    I like the idea, as long as it doesn't involve anything with patriotic connections
    Things like the North American Alliance is okay, because it is an alliance, not an American empire - everyone willingly combined into one army, so its not controversial.

    For weapons, there are some things to think about. Here are some real weapons still in beta testing:

    Electromagnetic bullets - hollow metal bullets propelled by a magnet pushing it out of the barrel at high speeds

    Burn Laser (torture weapon) - if kept on target for a few seconds, causes serious burns, can burn hole in couch, hand, but very slowly

    Electromagnetic projectile - same as bullet but much bigger

    Chemical laser - destroys missiles and can tear apart small aircraft if hit in the right area

    Stun gun - shoots metal projectile with chord, electrocutes target

    EMP missile - like a normal EMP which destroys electric devices in range, but in a missile triggered by impact

  12. #12

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    Maybe have them as Mexicans, Americans and Canadians. Controversial i know, but at least its different.
    Sort of a United Americas or something?


    I was thinking along the lines of uniforms and equipment earleir today.

    I was thinking, Helmet w/ camera/headset
    BDU's , some sort of body armor, not sure if it should be lightweight kevlar or heavier stuff. heavy shingaurds

    And be careful using things like dropships, otherwise it will end up being more like "Aliens" fan fiction.
    Yeah, originaly I had a short story going in which these guys would land in mass, literaly 5-10,000 troops on one LZ, but abandoned that. Now I'm focusing more on small numbers, there would be only around 50 Marines in this entire story, most of them you never even meet as they are killed in action before you can.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Justinian
    Yeah Hicks, stay far, far away from laser weapons and super-futuristic crap. Look to Firefly/Serenity for a believable depiction of what weapons will look like in the future.
    Firefly? Believable?

    So you're actually suggesting that people in the age of interstellar travel will revert to using Colt SAA revolvers and Winchester repeating rifles?

  14. #14
    Farnan's Avatar Saviors of the Japanese
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  15. #15
    Rhah's Avatar S'eer of Fnords
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    Quote Originally Posted by Corporal_Hicks
    Sort of a United Americas or something?


    I was thinking along the lines of uniforms and equipment earleir today.

    I was thinking, Helmet w/ camera/headset
    BDU's , some sort of body armor, not sure if it should be lightweight kevlar or heavier stuff. heavy shingaurds


    Yeah, originaly I had a short story going in which these guys would land in mass, literaly 5-10,000 troops on one LZ, but abandoned that. Now I'm focusing more on small numbers, there would be only around 50 Marines in this entire story, most of them you never even meet as they are killed in action before you can.
    yeah, like a United America's. You could even include the Caribbean nations in it. it will give you more intersting characters to play with, rather than just US types.
    Armour is a tricky one, as it depends on what sort of weaponry is in use. you dont want to have the "stormtrooper" problem (cool looking armour, but totally ineffective).
    I'd guess that all the individual troops would probably be hooked into a Command/control network, with powerful computers fitted into their head gear (including camera's, sensors etc) also, they'd probably have some sort of personal HUD (to show maps, threat assessments etc)

    One angle you could take when writing it is their over-reliance on technology. maybe something happens that makes them have to resort to fighting without their high tech stuff. You can already see the trend developing in the military of technological dependance, so i'd imagine it will be much worse in 94 years time..

    Also, who are they actually fighting against? an advanced enemy (aliens? other humans?) or some sort of third world planet? (like "Iraq in space" sort of situation)
    "Moral indignation is jealousy with a Halo" - H.G. Wells.


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    Armour is a tricky one, as it depends on what sort of weaponry is in use. you dont want to have the "stormtrooper" problem (cool looking armour, but totally ineffective).
    I was thinking along the linese of a chest/back plate w/ possible shoulder coverage.

    Face still visible, not like a stormtrooper.

    I'd guess that all the individual troops would probably be hooked into a Command/control network, with powerful computers fitted into their head gear (including camera's, sensors etc) also, they'd probably have some sort of personal HUD (to show maps, threat assessments etc)
    Yeah, having a sort of "houston" with 2-3 tech officers on the main transport orbiting the planet.

    One angle you could take when writing it is their over-reliance on technology. maybe something happens that makes them have to resort to fighting without their high tech stuff.
    Yes, exactly what I was thinking.

    Also, who are they actually fighting against? an advanced enemy (aliens? other humans?) or some sort of third world planet? (like "Iraq in space" sort of situation)
    I am at a crossroads. It can go 3 ways. Either Human Rebels or terrorists, Alien carnivors, or both....I need some opinions on this.

  17. #17

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    I suggest putting in some brave fighter pilots! Real hero's, guys who kill the enemy not one at a time but a hundred at a time by bombing em to smithereens!

  18. #18

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    you could have the marines fighting a rebellion among human colonists who had turned to terrorism and had recently taken over territory on the planet.

    or a less advanced alien speices. sort of the opposite of War of the Worlds. Humans taking over a alien planet to ease overpopulation on earth. A xenocide of sorts
    The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be used until they try and take it away.
    Staff Officer of Corporal_Hicks in the Legion of Rahl
    Commanding Katrina, Crimson Scythe, drak10687 and Leonidas the Lion

  19. #19

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    Here's an idea to make it interesting.

    Take MTC's idea of a bunch of space marines killing unadvanced aliens to make room. One of them learns the aliens are sentient and that it is slaughter and xenocide, and starts to feel the slaughter is immoral ... take it from there.

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  20. #20
    Shadows's Avatar Lurking unseen...........
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    I personally love these kinds of storylines,futuristic military novels are at the top of my list. At one point in time my friend and I were planning on making a game with a similar storyline, but it sort of feel through. Hopefully we could start again one day though. Back to your story. It has great potential and I can tell you want to pay attention to real details, I can't stand it when things are so impossible even for an advanced people. I'd stick with the squad warfare idea and maybe make it about several squads in the same complex, yet they are pinned down and seperated and they have to fight to link up with the other squads just to survive.(sounds like black hawk down doesn't it?) (still a very cool storyline though) Anyways it looks like this story could end up on my bookshelf one day, good luck .
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