[XC-AAR] CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Season III OMG SEASON 3-Page 23 start

[StealthEvo]

Wow talk about a ninja post. I got an entire update in while you were dawdling through your question

Complete accident. I was heading down that way anyways. They just turned up there crashing my party of awesome.

Plus all they can do is siege then run away. No infantry.

[Zarax]

That's a nice empire you're carving over there...
The conquest of Seleucia should start to trigger my precious... The anti-snowball effect!

[Zarax]

Wow talk about a ninja post. I got an entire update in while you were dawdling through your question

Complete accident. I was heading down that way anyways. They just turned up there crashing my party of awesome.

Plus all they can do is siege then run away. No infantry.

Yes, unfortunately the way Baktria chooses its emergent units forced me into some ugly coding around to fix the early tocharian invasion.
The newer releases now feature a much saner unit selection.

[StealthEvo]

Hmmm you might be right there. That super secret plot of yours to make this mod sexy awesome does require a substaintially less number of regions then in a Roman Campaign to trigger let alone start taking an effect. I'm about half way atm...You might be right actually.... getting real peeps

[Zarax]

Each capital you conquer it's one more burden...
Hope you've got a strong camel for all the straws it will carry

[StealthEvo]

Day eight; When the going gets tough. The Awesome crack open the beers

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Had a good update today. Made some progress and as a result of said progress came to the most awe inspiring conclusion ever. That I am more awesome then you all at once. Simply due to this AAR. Not that I mean any offence. But those petty road blocks have been trampled. Effortlessly. Word

FAN MAIL!!!!

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But what if she has bewbies?! WHAT IF SHE HAS BEWBIES!!!!

Black Sea, Caspian sea are interchangable in my honest opinion. Both are as awesome as each other. But not as awesome as the Dead Sea. Word

Yeh? AND WHAT?! You startin?

So, before we start today's scheduled awesome. We have another competition!!! As of the end of this update the Faction Leader Lucco is nearing his early 80's infact I think he might actually be 80 as of the current save. This means that within a few turns (hopefully not) he'll kick the perch and let the heir come in and ruin everything because he's not as awesome as the ing KING OF AWESOME RAWR!

Now due to the way XC works, and as I mentioned previously having a good faction leader with stats roughly above 4-5 in each is best for your empire. As they don't get any penalties. Nor do they get any awesome bonus's. Normally I would be micromanaging these a bit more. But since i'm lazy and the faction leader really isn't important to this AAR unless he's at the front looting and shizzle. Time for a competition!

Right the competition is as follows;

Prince of Awesome!!!!

Not to be confused with Prince of Macedon. Who is not as awesome as me. Sadly.

Right for those of you who do not know how the Faction heir is chosen (by the AI) once the king dies. Go do your reading or ask someone that might knows so you even stand a chance of winning this competition. I refuse to hold hands or answer questions as to the mechanics of this event. So tough luck thinking i'm going to help you Your old enough to use a forum. Your old enough to use the search function yeh? One would assume so at least

Once you think you understand whats gwarning with the to be elected prince of faction system. Continue reading.

As i'm sure your aware my own laziness will not make me overly care who the Heir is. But there are some interesting candidates at present. All of which have been featured, named and championed throughout the AAR. So that narrows down the field of potential candidates.

So heres the competition. Who do you think is going to be the new Faction Heir once Lucco passes on?

As usual shouting out a single name won't do. Due to the nature of this competition we might have to wait a while (no i'm not going to throw him into the rebels either to speed things up). You get one answer and it has to be your first answer. I will be taking note of your first answer to stop you changing it. You will also have to provide explanations. More then a single line please. We iz being serious yeh?

Conditionals:

I will not alter the way I play certain family members. However be warned that I do play them depending on conveniance and location. Hence why Bazza has not seen frontline action recently. He went East and by the time he was done up there. The border was already two provinces over. Thats just how I roll. I will not throw candidates to their death for spite. I love them all equally...Well some naturally more but you know.

So now thats all been sorted. The prizes. Not only will you earn a slice of Perfection Rep from me. But I'm sure I can bully Zarax into given you one as well for your hard work. Your profile name will be altered to form a nickname for an up and coming general of awesome (lineage to be revealed...but he's in the game)

Plus you'll get a special mention at the end of the AAR for being speshul. So theres a pretty nice reward if you choose correctly. But without further ado. Lets continue.

Tune of the daaaaay. Some Chevelle

Lessons Learnt:

Gauls plus Eastern Infantry work suprisinly well.
You can infact teach me old tricks
New tricks work well as well
Sometimes taking your shirt off and smoking is a fantastic way to play Extended Cultures.

Right. Last time we were here! Southern frontier had been forced onto the defensive at the threat of a super stack bearing down on me. But they had vanished without a sight...So with much paranoia I start making plans at running a flying last stand defence.

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Right. So in order to manage a good defense against a screaming hoarde of super powahed spearmen. We need moar cavalry. Now I beat your all screaming. OMG what the are smoking. (Benson and Hedges Silver if you must know) There are a few reasons why i'm going old skool cav on them.

A. I don't have Phalanx's
B. I dont have Elephants in this part of the world or the ecomony to support them
C. They are better then my infantry morale wise.
D. They are also skirmishers.

Theres your reasons. But the toss up. The more expensive and hardy Eastern Cav, which have served me alright. recently

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Or the cheaper and less effective against armour Light Cav option. I went for the light Cav. I need numbers and an extra 100 cav slamming into the rear and flanks does more damage to morale then just 50. I need all the morale damage I get my hands on

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However a turn later and still no re-appearence by the super stack I retreat from the bridge and decide to deal with an old friend, the only way that Cade knows how.

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With awesome. I wasn't able to kill the third one. But I got the two important family members. Thats an important thorn out of my side.

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Lol. I chose to read into this the wrong way. Iseult was born so ugly it was a shame for the family and they went into trolls remorse for bringing such a trog into the world

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"Not so Uggers" Grabs his next target, he's keeping his elephants alive which allows for the quick sieging of these smaller towns.

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Nommed.

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A challenger appears. If you don't get the relevancy of this. You really need to pay attention and go and read some more. (i also accepted him into the family incase that wasn't clear...)

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ZadraCarta is in "Not so Uggers" sights NOM NOM NOM

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Hunting family members with Elephants. Should be an olympic sport init.

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Someones following in Bazza's footsteps

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After some retraining and extra re-enforcements. Cade makes his move against Selecuia. I am very very very paranoid that something's going to attack me. But I have a decently balenced army and due to the insane morale bonus's Cade possesses I should be able to swing a victory if they come crashing my party

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Starting preparations for creating a third stack!!!! This one bringing indian lads straight through the center to really make a unified front. Yes. I only have three (in use) stacks....

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Not the attack I was expecting but when I saw this. I was like YES!!!! This is actually really really really good. Because I can resort to awesome tactics and killing both the family members and in doing so eradicating the garrison completely (because I outnumber them by so much I can surround them sexy style) and take Selecuia without activating that nasty script. I HAVE BEATEN ZARAX AT HIS OWN GAME!!!! Add two awesome points Jeeves

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Nuff said. The Ai tried for once. They brought a S/S 5 experience (two silver chevrons) super phalanx which killed most of my men despite surrounding it.

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Avoiding all the problems of rebellion. With a profit.

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The fruits of my labour tee hee

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OOOOOOH YEAH!!!! Antioch hear I come

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Next target to be ransacked by the Awesome and Converted into Pirate Hookers.

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A visual representation of just how quickly my campaign is accelerating now I have momentum. I normally rely heavily on mercenaries with any faction but I feel justified in spamming them now. This last few turns have really gone in my favour. Although most of the the increase in overall is due to production and finances (which is now nothing so next turn we'll have a proper screen shot with the updated overall ranking

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Remember to get your predictions in for the latest competition before it's too late. Literally!

Stealth out

Just to keep the latest update in view... Can't have anyone missing out

[Zarax]

Don't worry, you are being watched:

[Blatta Optima Maxima]

So I have to guess who's gonna be the king? Bazzzzzzza. My reasoning:pwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwn pwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnp wnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwnpwn










Anyway, "+rape" for this "AAR".

[Dave Strider]

WHERE IS THIS 'BEWBIES' YOU SPEAK OF?!?

[Gotenus]

I'm gonna have to go with Cade on this one. He's won more victories than he's lost, unlike some others, and is the conqueror of Seleucia. The only Gaul to ever say that. In every universe to ever exist.

[StealthEvo]

Day nine; Srs Business

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What is happening Forum. I do apoligize for the slight delay. Photobucket was being annoying and updating itself. Plus when I finally uploaded the sexy images. Well I was asleep. Thank you all for taking part in the Competition. I do regret to inform you that it is closed. Due to the faction leader dying this update...Meaning we have a winner... But who could it be! To be revealed.

But before we annouce the winner. There is business to be had. Fan mail always comes first.

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WHERE IS THIS 'BEWBIES' YOU SPEAK OF?!?

Twas a bad quote in the re quoted quote of the new update. Apparently the advisor has bewbies

Don't worry, you are being watched

You scare me some times you know that.

Lets hit the Tune of the daaaay...Bullet for my Valentine = Awesome

Lessons learnt;

This game is actually harder then I thought
This Challenge might actually be out of reach.
But I am awesome and will prevail.

Right. Last time we were here! A third stack was being created to push the Center out of contention and expand my empire of awesome. Everything was chill. The beers cool, the women ready for more awesome. But what could go so wrong in one update to label an update...Srs Business...

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Vindex having finished recruiting his four indian units, picked up two units of the luverly Bactrian Infantry and an Elephant WHOOP WHOOP and headed Gabae as quickly as possible

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Cade quickly continued his southern expansion by marching quick smart to Edessa happily ignoring the Ptolemies for the time being theres no reason for me to push that far south. It's just a nasty distraction which would over stretch me. Plus I dont want to open a second front on the south just yet

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A quick look at my finances. It's shocking. Ignoring the corruption which is an unfortunate by product of my reliance on governments (can't buld factional due to no friendly cultures/religions) there is a reason why i'm forking out 20k a turn just on upkeep

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I am barely at the 30% mark for distance from the capital in my empire. (I dont intend to move my capital ever. Unless it becomes impossible to hold stuff) 80%!!!!!!!

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Still Cade pushes towards Edessa with his army.

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Attacked from behind not sexy style.

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But it's a good thing. This means if I fight this battle properly. I wont have to thrown anyone away attacking stone walls. By properly. Exterminating every last soldier. No survivors this time.

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I chose to occupy the settlement this time. Not much of a bonus to looting or exterminating. So I kept it as it was.

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OH NOEZ MACEDONIANS!!!!! When did they get this fast East. New Alexander perhaps?

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Gabae is not within smelling distance. I can smell the fear...

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To my suprise those plucky Hellenics want peace for once. And came to me asking for monies. How could I say no to such a nice gentleman. I need to find a new way around them.

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH. THE TIME HAS COME TO....PUSH THE BUTTON. GALVENIZE!!!!

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And here we are, The new Faction heir has been revealed. The winner is. Cocroach. Congradulations. You will recieve a rare slice of Rep from me. Zarax has agreed to give you one as well. Your other reward will be explained later down the AAR, pay attention towards the end for your instructions.

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Finally. A spy doing his job right! and on time!!

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Most of those casualities were from the walls. Then from fighting three units of Thorkies in the town center. Cade and Bazza this man is not.

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Target Acquired. Note the lack of progress in the north. Or recruitment...

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

On a serious note. The northern side of my empire as shown. Is run by a skeleton crew garrison and governers. I forgot to check Bactra and it rebelled within a turn of rioting. I didn't even get a prior turns warning. Hence why I am angry. This is BAAAAAD

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Anyways you remember the weedy Heir. Turns out he's a hero now...Or it's because his sons are Bazza and Cade and he's taking full advantage of their awesomeness. Needless to say it's given Cade and Bazza son of the Honoured traits which gives them a +1 influence.

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Europus is in mah sights! Small garrison too. Nom nom nom.

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The northern border. In chaos. Overstretched with no money and Bactra now rebelled. I've lost a serious money maker. Bazza might be coming out of retirement to fight his way back to Awesomness Squared. Once he waves off those Parthian flies.

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The north western Front. Halted and Stagnant due to lack of funds and man power to negate those nasty distance bonus's. Looks like Cade might have to sweep north.

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Cade enjoying a well earnt beer after several years of campaigning and owning in the name of awesome.

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Cocroach. Pay attention this is your prize. You get the honour...of nick naming Bazza's only son (to date) Which considering it's Bazza's son. He's going to awesome and save the entire empire.

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What a series of turns eh?

hitting the fan. BUT I WILL WIN!

[Zarax]

So, the seleucids won back Baktra by being stealthier than you

A lot more fighting will be needed over there...

[Blatta Optima Maxima]

Whooooo-hoooooo!!!
How is the heir chosen BTW? I knew it's gonna be Bazzabecause Ahura Mazda told me!!!!!!!


P.S. My 700th post, victory and "+rape"!!! What could be better?

[StealthEvo]

Highest Influence I believe.

[Suppanut]

Yes. Engine will choose highest influenced character for you. Although this is not the best choice for XC.

[Dave Strider]

So, in the first picture.....Having Paved Roads is Srs business?

[Gotenus]

Cocroach!!! I will have my revenge!!

On a side note, looks like you may start facing some Makedonians.

[StealthEvo]

There will be an update tonight. Sorry for the delay. Work has stepped up stupid style atm

[StealthEvo]

Day ten; When the going gets tough. And the Awesome run out of beers, The Awesome go punch a baby

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Wagwanning safe tings!!!!! (translation from real english: Whats up my Wigga's)

Sorry for the impromptu delay. Photobucket was being dog slow as normal, updating and I had work. But here we are. Awesomeing up the place.

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILE!

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So, the seleucids won back Baktra by being stealthier than you

A lot more fighting will be needed over there...

In a nut shell. Yes. Yes they did. Curse you

Whooooo-hoooooo!!!
How is the heir chosen BTW? I knew it's gonna be Bazzabecause Ahura Mazda told me!!!!!!!

I eat your fake god for breakfast

So, in the first picture.....Having Paved Roads is Srs business?

Yes. Yes it is. Means my hoards of awesome can awesome so much faster

Lessons learnt.

Sometimes good things must end. (not in the way you think)
Often parties happen after this fact
Three packets of smokes were used in this production

TUUUUUUNAGE!!!! Something somber...Not requested by me

Right.

Last time we were here. Cade was getting drunk on the furtherest front. The Macedonians had joined the partay and the northern front was somewhat stopped.

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Seeing that my next target due north was relatively under garrisoned and that my army could take it without their awesome morale bonus (plus Edessa didn't like being ungarrisoned) I took a chance and pushed north without Cade. Who was drunk at the time. Broing it up

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Bringing Bazza's horse archers South to help Bactra. Even if they are only horse archers. They have chevrons meaning they are going to be useful

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Picked up some more Bactran Infantry to create the Awesome restoration force. getting srs.

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Hero of the ing empire my ing luck. Anyways Cocroach thats your prize. You may choose what ever nickname you want. I wonder how he ended up with that crippling trait.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Moving to something less Demoralizing. My spies are doing their jobs. Europus is mine!!!

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I hate attacking Large walls. Takes forever. So autoresolve of doom

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Dd the job. Lost alot of men.

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. WHERE THE DID HE COME FROM!!!!!

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Thats a nasty army as well...

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OOOOOOH THE DRAMA LAMA!!!! Will I be free from this menace before the turn is out?!

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Either way I tried to retreat and save my army an Ass Whopping. He followed me and forced me to fight him. In a do or die attempt at trying to force a route I nuke his body guard!

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Didn't work...

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The Awesome Restoration force attacks the Besieged Bactra with another crafty Autoresolve

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Thats not so bad actually. TIme to bring Bazza South to save the Empire from the super stack of NO AWESOME IN MY LANDS.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Well he'll be added to the Challenge Accepted hall of Fame (with usergroup planned!) Anyways the Central Front is pushing along mucho sexy fast. I can't even type out that towns name. Even while looking at the Screenshot. Not awesome town! Thats what it will be known as.

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Sieged! Spy didn't do anything this time.

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Stupid Greeks. I'm looking forward to Eating them. And removing their attempted awesome gland.

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It was a mish mash army of nothing. it was Pwned.

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Why the hate. I mean really why the hate!

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Now the spy works

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I take it this is an easy victory.

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But I took the settlement, forgot the screenshot. BUT OMG OMG OMG with a crafty repair I can build Median Cav

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Good horse archers!!!! Well better armoued and capable of fighting toe to toe with proper cav. MUCHO LUVERLY!

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I had 6k laying around intentionally so I could recruit 6k worth of mercenaries to CRUSH that stack. Cade is going to fight. MANO EL MANO!!! But the super awesome stack is still there...A challeneger apppears?

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I've fought worse odds. Just never 1000 men outnumbered before. Not to worry I HAVE THE MORALE OF THE GODS OF AWESOME!!!

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Well on the plus side. I killed the leader of the revolution. On the bad side, the second general had entered the field already and stopped me from routing their entire line like I was trying to do. But another defeat for Cade. A tactical withdrawl as well to preserve as much men as possible.

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So heres the situation. My borders have now caught up with each other. Hopefully they don't have another stupid stack hiding in the Fog somewhere. But now I can distract them by attacking the same front in two places. HOW AWESOME IS THAT World War Two style.

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Conclusion of this update.

ing AI....

[StealthEvo]

This is the Group where you may pay your respects to Bazza...

Here