[XC-AAR] CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Season III OMG SEASON 3-Page 23 start

[StealthEvo]

Pff. Your just jealous at my awesomness

[Blatta Optima Maxima]

You seem to be obsessed with "manly" and "sexy" stuff. I can draw two conclusions - either you are a girl, or you are ..., well you know yourself.

Edit: A third option - you may be StealthEvo.

[Dave Strider]

Teh Awesomez. This is it.

[Zarax]

Don't worry, the mighty Seleucid empire can draw from its own history take heart in what happened the first time the smelly gauls tried to overstep their boundaries: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVYD3PfOvvw

[StealthEvo]

Don't worry, the mighty Seleucid empire can draw from its own history take heart in what happened the first time the smelly Awesome gauls tried to overstep their boundaries: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVYD3PfOvvw

Fixed.

[Zarax]

There is still a long way to go, for every enemy you will face I'll give a proper presentation

[StealthEvo]

Day three: part two; Keeping standards down since Last Thursday

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Time for some FANMAIL YAY!!!!! PARTY!!!!

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You seem to be obsessed with "manly" and "sexy" stuff. I can draw two conclusions - either you are a girl, or you are ..., well you know yourself.

Edit: A third option - you may be StealthEvo.

Some say that he is actually better then |Sith|9|Lord_Max at Rome Total War multiplayer while playing with both of his eyes closed and with the volume muted...

And that if offer him a peace offering of Cigarette's and cheap Vodka he will actually take off his shirt and successfully turn Lesbians with eyeshot straight in less then a second...

All we know. Is he's called The Stig StealthEvo (that would be a top gear reference incase your not familar)

Teh Awesomez. This is it.

THIS! IS! INDO GAUL AWESOME LAND!!!!!!!!!!

There is still a long way to go, for every enemy you will face I'll give a proper presentation

Nothing wrong with free advertising.

Tune of the session. Korn. Alone I break Tune.

Lessons learnt from this Episode.

Setting realistic goals and then actually meeting them is surprisingly satisfying.
Posting a picture of a camel is a great way to confuse the posting community while making your point.
Apparently my work is only awesome if someone else did it. Which defies all logic.
I'm starting to run out of family members. But they are reproducing. Which is a good thing.
Stealths Sexy Hints make a shocking comeback. As phase two of my Mercenary Abuse comes into fruition. With Sexy results.

Right. So last time! We had kept busy by annexing two border towns from the Seleucids (spelling it right now ) and in the process starting to cripple their military might the process. Which considering the amount of fire power their units possess it's a good thing!. Means that theres less units to fight off. Coupled with a drop in production for them. While mine rises. Overall I'm starting to chip away. But they still have a significant military and if I want to even stand a chance against a real stack. I need some serious non elephant fire power. Which was what this Episode was about. Getting that fire power. Sexy style.

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So for once. I have a goal. A target. An objective. I need some serious fire power. Now for those of you who had read the previous update and seen the awesome picture of a camel. If you had been plucky enough to figure out what species it actually was. You would have been rewarded with the knowledge of the truth that it was a Bactrian camel. Random. Perhaps. But where do Bactrian camel apparently come from? Bactria i think. Which is somewhere around here I think. I might be wrong...But I know it has rivers near it!

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SUPER SEXY STEALTH HINT NUMBER 3!!!!

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One of the reasons why I'm heading for Bactria is because they possess in the form of AoR recruits and mercenaries to those not owning the needed porvinces. The uber manly and sexy Bactrian Infantry are like the archer spearman I was drooling over last episode. Except MUCH better with defence comparable to the dreaded THORKIES and I think they have a higher attack...Might be wrong. It might be the experience factor (same with the defence) But level for level they are the strongest units (non elephantine) I have availible which I can field easily and quickly. In short. They make the Mob of Awesome 14 times more manly and sexy then ever before. They work fantastically with the Indian mercenares as well. Due to the range and strength of the Longbows. They guys work as a static archer screen that can serve as line material. The rating on the OMG SEXY meter. 11 out of 10.

Plus they look awesome

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So with that in mind. Just outside Kophen. Which I intend to take I get attacked by the plucky Ai. A good chance to prove just how well my new units really do hold their own against a standard Seleucid stack (for the moment)

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Ooh look!!!! It's one of the Antioch/Seleucia garrison units! The one with the three chevrons thats NOT a Thorki. Must have tracked me down.

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Swish. Perfectly excuted shooting the back for maximum damage. Indian Cav is fast and has throws javalins as well. So the running rings shooting tactic works wonders with the Bactrian infantry...I'm in love

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Due to my poor screenshot skills (first time and all) This is a touch hard to see. But next to the Parthian stack (their faction leader nothing else) My boys are ready to attack Kophen. Note that the Ai is also pushing to attack Neh where my awesome Heroic Victory General is chilling

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SUPER SEXY STEALTH HINT NUMBER 4!!!!

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The second reason why I came north so quickly (compared to the much more well equipped with elephants south) is because of the Bactrian Horse Archers. Unlike other steppe units. These guys have decent armour. Which gives me a very nice punch full of arrows and speed. A perfect compliment and alternative to using my aging family members. Also in these area's and a bit more to the north. You start getting Steppe AoR's and recruits at Aux barracks. Making these guys which are reasonably cheap a top end HA unit for my current roster. Unfortunatly they arn't much use in city battles, which is all I really conduct in this episode. But these are going to be a god send against Seleucia!

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Fairly simple crash and dash. For once the Odds are in my favour across the board. I'm starting to enjoy this uphill struggle.

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See, useless in city battles. But they provided me enough of a punch to stop my family member from jumping in too early and getting taken out of comission.

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This was strange. They lifted the siege and walked off. I was somewhat dissapointed that I didn't get to skool the Seleucids again in the siege warfare book. But relieved that I got my income back for Neh. It's a pretty rich part of mah empire. Must be the Tavern I built there.

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THERES Bactra! Ok it was no where near the river cross roads. But close enough! Phra will also serve as a soon to be acquired target. Add to the riches. Once the road from Bactra to Neh is complete. I will have more money then I know what to do with. I hope. Assuming my maths is correct. Actually don't hold me to that just yet

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But the Ai is pulling my own tactics against me. They've sent some lads down south and sieged Istakhr. Zarak did you mod smart Ai? I iz nervous.

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My spies are useless!!! Always a day late!

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Thorkies don't scare me anymore. RAWR!!!!

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But stone wall towers do What a waste of sexy recruits...I lost my second unit of Bactrian Horse Archers, left the other in Kophen.

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The spoils! Check the income. On Low tax as well Thats pretty sexy right now. The only down side to capturing Bactra early. Is that I release the Bactrian Faction as a hoard. Which I don't know where they are! Not good!

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Next Episode. The battle for Istakhr I might loose this one...

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My northern border. With next settlement in sight.Main campaign goals. Once i've stablized the region proper. Is to start pushing West from the North up until the sea. Giving me an equal border with the south. Then start heading North and South at the same time to give a solid border and wall against the Seleucids.

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Thats what I'm talking about

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This Episode was bought to you by; Magic.

Side effects may include: dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, water retention, painful rectal itch, hallucination, dementia, psychosis, coma, death, and halitosis. Magic is not for everyone. Consult your doctor before use

[Dave Strider]

By god man! Make this your theme song!

[Biggles]

It's about this time when the Seleucid leaders discovers that they've lost some outback territories in the far east

[MkdRanger]

avesome AAR

[StealthEvo]

Day four; [insert random lulzy title since I'm too awesome to come up with a proper one]

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Whats happening forum! Big update today. Well not big. But important. The Seleucids finally get annoyed enough to send a REAL stack at me. Lulz prevails.

But. Fan mail!

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By god man! Make this your theme song!

Audience participation! The rest of you lazy auidence members should be ashamed. Plus since it's an awesome manly idea. I WILL HAPPILY EMBRACE YOUR IDEA!

It's about this time when the Seleucid leaders discovers that they've lost some outback territories in the far east

Your psychic. I HATE YOU!

I won't admit I gave you rep. Now guess who am I and rep me back!

I dunno bro. I have to guess who you are, then give you rep. If I recall I've done all the work in finding out who you are...Why should you get a prize?

But if anyone has any idea who this Knight of Awesome and Balls is. Feel free to drop a lead in this thread. I honestly don't have a clue who this person could be. So you're going to be here a long time sitting on the edge of your seat while I fail to even get close. Plus since they won't admit. I don't see them revealing themselves...Cor we're in for a long stint people...

On request from Vladimir Fred-nin (who is almost as awesome as me for audience participation )

INDES ING TRUCTIBLE

Lessons learnt from this Episode.

When you annoy the Ai, the Ai goes Bat Insane
Sometimes this works out in your advantage
Good things happen to those that continue being awesome and Gaulish
Not every hoard from a city that you just sacked and removed them from their home wants to kill you
Mystery Reppers and quests asscioated are sexy awesome

So. Last Episode we finished: Here! Just taken Bactra and the world was full of paranoid confusion. Were was the stack that was SUPPOSED to spawn once you taken the settlement (or it rebels) from the Seleucids. I was cautious and feeling uncomfortable. Do I dare end my turn and face any number of stacks knocking down my fragile doors. Or do I do something....Awesome?

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Naturally I did something awesome. Remember that lazy spy? I sent him cautiously around looking for that elusive stack. And lo and behold. Tharrr she blows. Well within striking distance of my recently taken new awesome settlement.

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A quick sneak peak of excatly what I was up against. A full Cav army. All those units are the same unit. Now you may be wondering why I was concerned. It's completely justified now. In a Bactrian campaign I ran a few days prior to starting this one. (bug hunting) I ran into a rebel stack of these with three chevrons. The Bactrian Campaign starts you off with two decent units of Phalanx pikemen. These bad boys were IMMUNE. Ok fine the lines wern't too deep. But only one or two died while charging. Now I might just suck at phalanx fighting. But I might not and these guys might be TANKEHS!!! Meaning I only have archer spearmen and elephants to hold them off. On the upside however. They can't assult my walls. Only starve me out.

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The promised Battle of Istakr commences. Tough little army as well. Backed up by TWO family members.

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Velocatus showing the Seleucids how it's going down. I did not kill a single family member. Not that I tried. Just they evaded my traps...Annoying because it means they'll be back to hunt me down.

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Quick sack and Dash caputure of Phra. No general needed

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Thats why Poor sod

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Add another to the file jeeves.

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The next target on my northern conquest. Also note the Hoard I released into the world. It spent two turns chilling outside Bactra (they are still neutral) But after this turn they bugger off never to be seen again. Scary. I think they'll be hiding somewhere nearby waiting for me to turn my back.

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These two Hard asses have been hanging around my borders (well old borders) for a while now. This was the stack that besieged Alexandroplis then walked off. But now they are back. I took a spy to them just to see what I was dealing with. I wasn't impressed. They have a recruited Bactrian infantry and three and a half units of Thorkies. Plus the general is fairly capable and has a decent HP bonus series of traits. Small bodyguard size. So there is some good news.

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Velocatus getting pissed and drunk, taking the elephants and marching West I decided to start on my next southern Conquest to try and add to my coffers. Those elephants and Bactrian units are expensive! But I refuse to disband MAH HOARDS OF AWESOME SEXY

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Another attempt to stop the advance of Awesome into this world. Naturally the Catus said NO U! and took another series of heads to add to his wine glass collection

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As seen here.

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I admit it took me about five minutes to realize I was retracing my steps and apon scrolling left I saw three settlements ripe for the quick picking needed to seriously crush the Seleucids proper. A quick hard hitting southern Campaign while the Bactrian lads headed West and South would banish them forever from my lands. Until I move the goal post West again TO VICTORY YOU DRUNK SWEATY BASTARDS!

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But alas. All was not well in the Kingdom of Awesome. The largest seleucid stack EVER and probably the strongest had besieged Bactra of all places.

So in a desperate attempt at maintaining my borders and actually doing something smart. I drain the nearby settlements, Alexandropolis and Phra and push Bazza the Awesome Sexy Ninja (Barrivendos) north. The settlements won't rebel due to a skeleton garrison. But still. It's touch and go. This is going to be an EPIC battle.

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But first. Another double Thorkie stack for Catus to eat and teabag with his plasma sword, is it plasma sword or energy sword? I never played halo.

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NOM NOM

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ONOM NOM NOM NOM

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Ok back to Bactra. A small point from me. Why do I enjoy XC over all the other mods (rome style). I mean sure I could be an RS II addict and crow on about the awesome. I could be an EB manic waiting 5 minutes for my turn. Heck XGM is pretty much the same gameplay wise as XC so I bet your wondering. Why spend my time playing a small two man team mod.

I love the play style. I love nurtering my generals and seeing how they turn out. I dunno i'm a hard core RP gamer at heart and i'm sure that RS has similar stuff. What evs. It's also got background scripts and means it wont run on my laptop. XC runs well. I like the mod. End of.

But this screenshot was show off my new king and his new ancillary . Plus the knows Greeks and Romans. Gives him +1 AGAINST them in battle. But the new ancillary will be helping out in the longer term. Just gotta remember to transfer it across.

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MUWAHAHAHAHA back to the man eating Catus. Will I ever be showing the conclusion to the Bactra battle this episode? I dont know. Maybe. Maybe not

Fairly simple attack against Charax. Three guesses how it turns out. Sexy. Sith_Max Sexy, Not Sexy

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Sith_Max Sexy indeed.

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Ok. Enough mucking around.

So Bazza rushes up north to help out Lucco. Even with the extra 200 men. I'm not at a numbers advantage...

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They've added another unit of Bactrian Infanty and some Thorkies with GOLD?!?!?!?!? defence. Awesom General, Thorkies, Thorkies with ing gold, 200 bactrian Infantry. Not good. MAH AWESOME MIGHT RUN OUT AND AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME!!!

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But I have one crucial advantage. I'm more sexy.

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This warmed my heart. Bazza, the dude leading the Indian infantry body guard unit. Having saved the King of Awesome was finally invited to join the Family of Awesome and become a proper family member. I don't know if he'll stay in charge of the Indian anti Armour or he'll be riding a ing unicorn. But I almost wept at the beauty.

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So the northern Empire has been reclaimed. Merv is within a direct siege next turn. The Hoard of AWESOME continues it's sexy roadtrip back to gaul

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I love you all equally. Word.

[Zarax]

I see a nice progress over there, I just wish I could force Baktria to emerge with saner units.
That and have somebody to make unit cards for the mod.

A word about XC: all the lovely role-playing has been made possible by us having the mighty Suppanut in charge of traits and ancillaries.

He also created the traits for XGM, DTW and RS2 but only in XC his ethnic traits are used to the fullest potential, making it a match for any other mod out there, including the big ones.

Other than that, for his awesome attempt StealthEvo will get a stealthy prize tomorrow which I hope will encourage him to continue

[Dave Strider]

I hope you liked the song

[StealthEvo]

I did indeed. Nothing wrong with Disturbed at all

[Dave Strider]

Then I encourage to use "The Warrior" this time

[Publius Quirinus]

Nice work breaking the siege of Bactra. I just wish you could have shown us the battle (or any battle for that matter), seeing those elephants in action would be AWESOME.

[StealthEvo]

It would have. But I take about 20-26 screen shots an episode. A battle would have been about 5-10 more. It takes about 30 minutes to upload the rest as it is. I can't wait that long for awesome.

But I nuked his family members in all honestly. The king of Awesome appeared behind his lines with this bactrian cav and his own bodyguard. Made short work of the fams. The elephants did the rest

[Zarax]

Hope you got my PM, if all works you'll get even more awesome mercs

[StealthEvo]

There might be a small break in the updating of this AAR due to me suddenly developing a life over the next few days. I'll try and get an update up tomorrow. But I have a work related meeting mid afternoon and I don't wake up too early these days.

On thursday I'm busy all day. So Friday at the latest and tomorrow at the earliest,

[Zarax]

Ok, just don't leave your gauls too long or you'll just find a mass of sick warriors from all that mead