Science jokes!

[removeduser_4536284751384]

What's ∫1/cabin?
Log(cabin)?
No, a houseboat, you forgot to add the C!
Beautiful women are the product of time and money
women = time x money
Time is money
time = money
So women are money squared
women = money^2
Money is the root of all evilmoney = √evilSo women are evil
women = (√evil)^2 = evil

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."

[Gordon Freynman]

Physicists Bill of Rights (Author Unknown)

We hold these postulates to be intuitively obvious, that all physicists are born equal, to a first approximation, and are endowed by their creator with certain discrete privileges, among them a mean rest life, n degrees of freedom, and the following rights which are invariant under all linear transformations:

1. To approximate all problems to ideal cases.

2. To use order of magnitude calculations whenever deemed necessary (i.e. whenever one can get away with it).

3. To use the rigorous method of "squinting" for solving problems more complex than the addition of positive real integers.

4. To dismiss all functions which diverge as "nasty" and "unphysical."

5. To invoke the uncertainty principle when confronted by confused mathematicians, chemists, engineers, psychologists, dramatists, and other such folk.

6. When pressed by non-physicists for an explanation of (4) to mumble in a sneering tone of voice something about physically naive mathematicians.

7. To equate two sides of an equation which are dimensionally inconsistent, with a suitable comment to the effect of, "Well, we are interested in the order of magnitude anyway."

8. To the extensive use of "bastard notations" where conventional mathematics will not work.

9. To invent fictitious forces to delude the general public.

10. To justify shaky reasoning on the basis that it gives the right answer.

11. To cleverly choose convenient initial conditions, using the principle of general triviality.

12. To use plausible arguments in place of proofs, and thenceforth refer to these arguments as proofs.

13. To take on faith any principle which seems right but cannot be proved.

[GrnEyedDvl]

"That math prof's marriage is falling apart!"
"No wonder! He's into scientific computing - and she's incalculable!"