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Theory of Intelligent Design Triumphs
Written by Jay Fuller
BIZARROLAND, Indiana – For centuries, scientists have pondered the strange incongruity between the animal and human kingdoms, but a new theory of Intelligent Design seems to be filling the gaps in the understanding of our origins.
“Isn’t it strange,” remarked Dr. Charlie Durp at a recent scientific symposium, “that animals and other creepy crawlies share a system of evolving genetics, whilst we humans are composed entirely of life-clay?” The scholarly audience sat in quiet agreement as Dr. Durp continued to list several well-known biological mysteries.
Why is it that we humans have detectable levels of soul-stuff (measured in soul units) but animals do not? Why do creepy crawlies defecate, but we do not? Why do animals rely on the pleasure principle to fornicate, but humans simply agree with a member of the opposite sex to form a new life-clay child? These questions and others have plagued the scientific community for centuries.
But today, Dr. Durp has proposed an explanation for the incongruity between the animal and human kingdoms. “The idea is simple, “ he explains. “God did it.” The theory supposes a designer is responsible for the traits that are unique and untraceable in humanity. The scientific symposium applauded the proposal. However, Dr. Durp added, “I must admit, this theory doesn’t explain much.”
Dr. Durp suggests the theory of Intelligent Design is only a stepping-stone. The next step is discovering the designer and researching his or her attributes so scientists can make accurate predictions about the future. One clue may be the infamous Speaking Stone located in the heart of Jerusalem. When visitors of any linguistic background come in contact with the stone, the message, “FSM IS LORD” is transmitted into their minds. Could this be the breakthrough Intelligent Design theorists are looking for? Only time will tell.
Theory on Intelligent Design Triumphs
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Originally Posted by MathiasOfAthens
