Advice Needed Re: Vassals going to war

[Exarch]

i'm playing vanilla M2:TW as the HRE on vh/vh
now, i'm sitting pretty, i control the traditional lands of the HRE including northern italy and marseille and Antwerp; i have vassaled Denmark, Milan and France, such that geographical france looks like a patchwork of blue, green and red;

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

France holds Rennes, angers and bordeaux ever since i punished them for stabbing me in the back by taking Caen, Paris and rheims, so that gives me a nice border area protecting my favourite vassal denmark in bruges.

milan holds a single region-dijon, and the spanish have taken toulouse; the spanish also happen to be my allies.

so there you have it, i have a a lot of allies in the one spot and chances are high that they'll all go to war with one another and when that happens, who do i support?
what do i do??

[total war lover]

I would suggest that you don't support France,since they only hold three regions,and they alreaddy backstabbed you once,but don't go to war first,thus breaking your alliance with them and losing reputation,let someone else attack them and then join the war.Next i would go to war with milan,since they have very wealthy cities and they threaten your presence in Northern-Italy.the rest is up to you,because when you unified France under your banner,you should be wealthy enough to defeat any enemy.

[Exarch]

indeed, thanks for the advice
+rep

i've decided to gift them to my favoured ally, denmark, i intend to prop them up in france, milan only holds dijon so i reckon tey'll be passive for a while yet.

btw since your reputation takes a hit if you favour one ally over the other, does the same apply for vassals as well?
does it matter if u support the aggressor or the defender?

[Theseus1234]

indeed, thanks for the advice
+rep

i've decided to gift them to my favoured ally, denmark, i intend to prop them up in france, milan only holds dijon so i reckon tey'll be passive for a while yet.

btw since your reputation takes a hit if you favour one ally over the other, does the same apply for vassals as well?
does it matter if u support the aggressor or the defender?

I suggest bulldozing France and Milan. I mean, Milan has one city, and France has 3, why not just take them? You're probably well disliked already. Denmark you can leave alone, they're not a big threat.

Also, try not to get so many allies and vassals. You take a reputation hit if your allies go to war and you have to choose between them (doesn't matter who's the defender or aggressor).

[John Doe]

btw since your reputation takes a hit if you favour one ally over the other, does the same apply for vassals as well?
does it matter if u support the aggressor or the defender?

Breaking an vassalage is slightly more detrimental to your reputation, since you also break the army access on top of the alliance. There is no difference between taking side with the agressor or the defender.

It's been a long time I've done that, but I think you can cancel an alliance through diplomacy without reputation loss, by making it as part of a trade: cancel alliance and give you x gold or city, if they accept then there's no reputation loss. If you cancel allliance through diplomacy (no trade, just statement), you don't loose as much as back stabbing them.

[Exarch]

UPDATE:

so far, peace on all fronts, i've gifted the settlements to denmark, and the pope placed me in the predicament of breaking my alliance with france for his favour; i saved my game and di so and discoverd my rep taking a hit from "reliable" to "dubious"

[k_Apollo]

Breaking an vassalage is slightly more detrimental to your reputation, since you also break the army access on top of the alliance. There is no difference between taking side with the agressor or the defender.

It's been a long time I've done that, but I think you can cancel an alliance through diplomacy without reputation loss, by making it as part of a trade: cancel alliance and give you x gold or city, if they accept then there's no reputation loss. If you cancel allliance through diplomacy (no trade, just statement), you don't loose as much as back stabbing them.

Not true, I cancelled my alliance via diplomacy and took a direct hit in rep, very reliable --> reliable. Also counts for military access.

[John Doe]

Not true, I cancelled my alliance via diplomacy and took a direct hit in rep, very reliable --> reliable. Also counts for military access.

I think you misread my post.

Your rep loss is because you only informed them you cancelled the alliance (but still less than backstabbing)

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Try something like this (usually I give money, I'm short of it for the exemple) and as long as they agree, you won't loose rep that way.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Exarch]

it's much too bad you can't adjudicate disputes between ur vassals as an overlord; i hope they include that as a feature in the next Medieval:Total war