Why do all my new family members have such awful traits?

[The Almohad]

My first campaign using EB in a long time was with Baktria. I have already quit and deleted my game and started as a new faction. But the reason I quit was because I couldn't get my family members to be worth anything at all. I got one or two to be decent admins by just having them sit in one city for a while and then rotate so they don't get bored, but every new family member had things like "seditious" or "flagging" or "poor tactician" or "terrified by blood" or "drunkard" or "unlucky leader". The seditious thing is what really got me it went from dubious to seditious in like 2 turns, this happened to three of my 6 family members (I only got 18 years into it).

How am I supposed to use these guys, they had so many negative traits that they seem pointless. I can't really afford to go on suicide missions, I can't risk giving them any kind of sizeable army unless I put a more loyal general with them, but then those seditious guys don't get credit for helping to command the battle so they have no chance of ever developing. To top it off, I got raped by the diplomacy. I remained the seleucids ally despite the other satraps breaking off or outright attacking them thinking the superpower would leave me alone long enough to deal with the Pahlava or Saka, then they betray me out of nowhere and I wasn't even threatening their border.

The Pahlava won't re-ally with me just because now they are allied with the Saka, so then of course the saka decided to attack me with all those damn heavy cavalry and horse archers that I have no idea how they afford based on what cities they have. The Pahlava were running freely around my territory probably to attack, and I'm supposed to fight all this off with only one good commander, 4 provinces, only making 1300 a turn when the units I need cost 2000 and only 1 stack of guys for a standing army? Really? I was playing on H/H, is Baktria just this hard or did I just screw up? I didn't remember playing EB 0.8 with such problems. Should I have rushed the seleucids or immediately taken out the Pahlava? I really wanted to play as them because the idea of a an indo-greek army and mountainous homeland territory seemed awesome, but I think I need some advice. I'll try now as Lusitania on M/M, I remember having a great game as them when I tried EB a while back. Sorry this turned into a complaint kind of, I probably just suck (well actually I know that I'm no master at this game I just love it anyway).

[MisterFred]

Baktria is pretty damn hard if the steppe factions turn on you early. Moreso if you don't get a strong early blitz. Also, I recommend playing on medium battle settings. Most of the time I play H/M, sometimes VH/M - M/M is plenty challenging for inexperienced players. I've played H and VH battle settings, and honestly, it doesn't seem much harder, it just makes your melee infantry suck and you rely overly much on ahistorical buffed-by-experience ranged units and heavy cav.

As far as leaders, I dunno. I usually get some duds and some good ones. I actually like it when I get the bad ones, as I get to roleplay with them more (as happened in my Lusotann-turned-Mauretania game).

[XSamatan]

Building schools helps a lot to get decent administrators, even potential generals get good traits and ancillaries from them. After building schools at lvl2 in all of my settlements and having one great academy in my capital, where the young men sat for some years with my current FL, even the dumb characters were good enough to govern cities.

XSamatan

[Spike]

beware that Makedonians are more likely to got Drunken traits from nowhere.... (I meant one who had "Makedon" ethnicity)