No Noobs?

Is anyone else tired of hosting a battle with the title "No Noobs" only to find after the battle starts that you are fighting total noobs who don't know that mortars are fixed, or even worse, they don't know how to umlimber art so it will fire.

Then please read below, I have a solution that that is 100% guarantied to work. Backed by a full Hemorroid warranty.

Heres what yuo do, for example purposes, I will assume that you are hosting a unranked 3vs3 with some friends.

Wait untill the game fills up, then when the last person to enter asks the rules, simply say "no rules" and at the samae time you and your friends all switch to Russia. In a few seconds you will see most, if not all of your opponents leave. Yes, these were the noobs who still think 20lber unicorns are over powered. Any of the guys who stay and just say "lol" are not noobs, and have pleyed enough to know how weak Russia really is. Simply repeat the process untill no ont drops, then you can enjoy a good fight.

This works, I've used it every battle and have yet to face a noob, don't beleive me? give it a try!

Originally Posted by Major Hemorrhoid's Brother

Is anyone else tired of hosting a battle with the title "No Noobs" only to find after the battle starts that you are fighting total noobs

I do the same but with the term Reverse Phycology. I title "No Pros" and all the pros come join in without waiting or worrying about noobs

It's genius I tell you!!!

What I do to find out noobness of players pre-battle:
Open Steam, select "View Players"; open the Steam profile pages of the players that have joined your game, it shows their playing time on NTW.
You can ask to leave or kick if below your desired minimum.

It's only a rough indicator, but you will be able to avoid people learning how to select units and trying out what all the buttons do.

Originally Posted by daniu

What I do to find out noobness of players pre-battle:
Open Steam, select "View Players"; open the Steam profile pages of the players that have joined your game, it shows their playing time on NTW.
You can ask to leave or kick if below your desired minimum.

It's only a rough indicator, but you will be able to avoid people learning how to select units and trying out what all the buttons do.

what he said

what happens when they are so noobish that they dont know that once 20 Ibers were OPed?

they drop-i mean that both ways

Originally Posted by Major Hemorrhoid's Brother

Is anyone else tired of hosting a battle with the title "No Noobs" only to find after the battle starts that you are fighting total noobs who don't know that mortars are fixed, or even worse, they don't know how to umlimber art so it will fire.

Then please read below, I have a solution that that is 100% guarantied to work. Backed by a full Hemorroid warranty.

Heres what yuo do, for example purposes, I will assume that you are hosting a unranked 3vs3 with some friends.

Wait untill the game fills up, then when the last person to enter asks the rules, simply say "no rules" and at the samae time you and your friends all switch to Russia. In a few seconds you will see most, if not all of your opponents leave. Yes, these were the noobs who still think 20lber unicorns are over powered. Any of the guys who stay and just say "lol" are not noobs, and have pleyed enough to know how weak Russia really is. Simply repeat the process untill no ont drops, then you can enjoy a good fight.

This works, I've used it every battle and have yet to face a noob, don't beleive me? give it a try!

I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite post on TWCenter

Originally Posted by daniu

What I do to find out noobness of players pre-battle:
Open Steam, select "View Players"; open the Steam profile pages of the players that have joined your game, it shows their playing time on NTW.
You can ask to leave or kick if below your desired minimum.

It's only a rough indicator, but you will be able to avoid people learning how to select units and trying out what all the buttons do.

But many players have their profile set to "private" or "have not yet set up profile" and I have played some really good players who havn't bothered to join the steam community

Originally Posted by {GODS}Scipio_Africanus

what happens when they are so noobish that they dont know that once 20 Ibers were OPed?

Come on now, Every one knows that a unicorn can wipe out a unit in a single shot!

Originally Posted by Y@$!N

they drop-i mean that both ways

But your a cool guy so I'll pretend that I know what you meant, drinks on me

Originally Posted by ElKobold

I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite post on TWCenter

Why thank you

Originally Posted by Major Hemorrhoid's Brother

But many players have their profile set to "private" or "have not yet set up profile" and I have played some really good players who havn't bothered to join the steam community

What he said

heheh, mass effect 2 was a bit annoying because of how closed in it was.. I liked the open feel of the first one much more. storyline-wise it was better but w/e. Also, if i just started, how would i know that russia had OPed units? IS IT JUST SOME KIND OF SIXTH SENSE?!
Oh and btw, i love russia now, I love charging into ppl so much. I dunno why.

Originally Posted by {GODS}Scipio_Africanus

heheh, mass effect 2 was a bit annoying because of how closed in it was.. I liked the open feel of the first one much more. storyline-wise it was better but w/e. Also, if i just started, how would i know that russia had OPed units? IS IT JUST SOME KIND OF SIXTH SENSE?!
Oh and btw, i love russia now, I love charging into ppl so much. I dunno why.

There is nothing like giving the cold steel to the enemy.

Originally Posted by Lt.Hawke

There is nothing like giving the cold steel to the enemy.

Hmm.. maybe you will be the next GODS member . that is if you have no previous engagements.

Originally Posted by {GODS}Scipio_Africanus

Hmm.. maybe you will be the next GODS member . that is if you have no previous engagements.

I would be honored to be in the Gods clan, by all accounts it seems to be a honorable and worthy group. And I can think of no pressing engagements at this time, however I will direct you to my secretary in the future if something comes up.

Well the Hemorroid clan has show the world how powerful unicorns are. Also noobs seem to have a big problem with long range art because they mostly camp and spam light inf (ineffectively) Trust me, and try this out. You will see that it works perfect. plus most noobs have played the campaign first and have played the Russians. The ai uses art much better then othr units, thus givving the illusion of a powerfun unit.

U will be waiting a long time doing this MH

I cant remember the last game i played where a noob wasnt involved

instead a of a ranking system MP should be split into groups - Everyone should start in Group 1 and only after 20 games of actually moving units around should you be eligible to move on to group 2. After 20 battles If you have retreated more in games than advanced you move on to special group 3. Hmmmmm for those in this group - Group 2 players can spectate these matches when it gets very boring waiting for MP games. as a novilty it might be entertaining watching both players retreating. After 2 consecutive games or a total of 10 games of playing and not moving - the game should automatically uninstall and the serial number locked.

Originally Posted by terminator acheron

U will be waiting a long time doing this MH

I cant remember the last game i played where a noob wasnt involved

instead a of a ranking system MP should be split into groups - Everyone should start in Group 1 and only after 20 games of actually moving units around should you be eligible to move on to group 2. After 20 battles If you have retreated more in games than advanced you move on to special group 3. Hmmmmm for those in this group - Group 2 players can spectate these matches when it gets very boring waiting for MP games. as a novilty it might be entertaining watching both players retreating. After 2 consecutive games or a total of 10 games of playing and not moving - the game should automatically uninstall and the serial number locked.

a bit exxtreme but i reckon it could work, because the players online would have no choice but to try and improve, instead of the same tactics over and over again

I can only think of about 3 players who would actually make it to group two.

Originally Posted by Major Hemorrhoid's Brother

I can only think of about 3 players who would actually make it to group two.

I can only think of about 3 players who would actually make it to group two

I always walk to the enemy..its annoying when they never attack you but I prefer attacking as opposed to defending so meh

with this latest patch update which affects the stamina of troops. they are basically encouraging people to sit back and camp...